"Artemis... Orion... Whoever you are... This will never work. You know that, I know that, everyone knows that. I know you... have feelings for me, but I can't feel the same way about you. I have someone else. You have... someone, somewhere, I'm sure. But I can't do this. I'm sorry." Holly broke the boy's strong embrace.

"Please, Holly, my maiden. Don't leave me! I would rather die than be away from you. Don't love Artemis, love me! I am the one who loves you. Artemis is just an inconsiderate boor!" The boy in Artemis Fowl's body knelt to the ground, holding the fairy's hand in his own.

"What must I do to have thee love me? Shall we be bonded by holy matrimony till death due us part? Will that keep you with me?"

"Artemis Fowl! Did I just hear you propose to me?" Holly yelped, yanking her hand from his.

"It is not Artemis, my lady. It is Orion, the one who truly loves you. And yes, I did. I want to be with you always."

Holly started away from him, desperate to get away from the person her friend had become.

"Artemis... I mean, Orion, you can't marry me. You are a mere 15 years old. What would your family think?"

Orion dashed to catch up with her. "Ah, age is but a number. That is all. And who cares what they think? The thoughts of others should have nothing to do with our actions." He gently touched her arm, stopping her in her tracks.

"Marry me, Holly Short. Please."

"Orion, no! You aren't real! You are an alter, a figment of Artemis's imagination."

"I am stronger than Artemis, physically and emotionally. I can force him back; he will never escape!"

"I can't marry you," Holly repeated.

"Why not, fair lady? Is it because I have displeased you? If I have, please forgive me, princess." Orion's gaze focused on her lips. "Shall I kiss the maiden's lips to take away my sins?" He leaned closer to her.

"NO!" Holly shouted, pushing the boy to the ground, a look of surprise written across his face. She looked at his betrayed expression and felt slightly sorry for him. But he was being irrational! Besides she was...

"Orion, there's something I have to tell you..." She took a deep breath, bracing herself for the conversation ahead.

"Yes, princess? You have my undivided attention."

"Orion, I know you care about me, and I care about you, in a way. But there is someone else I care for, very much." Holly held up her hand, displaying the ring on her fourth finger.

"I'm engaged."

Orion's mouth fell open like a castle drawbridge. "Who is this devilish fiend who dares to steal my lady's heart from me?" he demanded. "I will rip out his own heart so he knows the pain I feel without my princess."

"Orion, I'm engaged to Trouble."

"Trouble?! Trouble Kelp?! Come now, princess, surely you have better taste than that."

"I love him, and he loves me. We understand each other. The list goes on and on. There are so many ways we are better suited for each other than you and me. Surely you understand..."

"I refuse to! Let me at that Kelp! We shall battle to win your heart."

"That won't be necessary..." Holly started, but Orion held up his hand.

"Speak not, princess, but to call my challenger."

"Orion... What will you do if you lose?"

Orion chuckled. "Ah, sweet lady. I shan't lose to Mr. Kelp. But if I do, which I assure you will never happen, I will let you be. But if I win, Mr. Kelp..."

"Commander," Holly cut in. "His title is Commander."

Orion scoffed, "He is not worthy of such a title. If I win, he shall stay away from you, and you will be mine."

Holly shakily dialed Trouble's number. If Artemis didn't get some treatment for his complex soon, he would be beyond help.

"Trubs?"

Orion cleared his throat loudly. Holly rolled her eyes. "Sorry. Trouble. Orion has something he'd like to say to you."

"I'm not talking to that Mud Whelp."

"Trouble," muttered Holly so Orion wouldn't hear. "Remember what Argon said? We have to please Orion as much as possible. It's part of the treatment plan. But I wish this stage would be finished. Orion is killing me."

"Oh, princess!" Orion sang.

Holly sighed. "Orion wants to talk." Holly handed the phone to the boy.

"Mr. Kelp, I challenge you to a duel."

Trouble laughed. "A duel? For what reason?"

"To win the heart of Miss Short. The loser must leave her alone. The winner has her forever. Simple."

"And Holly agreed to this? We're supposed to be married, you know."

"Oh, I am quite aware of your engagement. It is the very reason I called for this duel."

"You've got to be kidding me!"

"Trouble," Holly warned.

"Fine," he amended. "I will accept your challenge. Name your standards."

"We will fight a traditional sword fight. I, of course, will have the upper hand with my secret birthmark. It can smite dragons, you know. But I will allow you to pick the place and the time."

"Okay, Orion. We will fight here in Police Plaza in exactly one hour. Got it?"

"Every word. Prepare to lose, Mr. Kelp." Orion terminated the call and handed the phone back to Holly.

"Orion, are you sure you want to do this?" Holly asked.

"But of course, princess. I must defend your honor. That beast doesn't deserve you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I must be off to prepare for my victory."

Be my guest, thought Holly.

An hour later, Trouble Kelp stood face to face with Orion, who flipped a sword deftly from its sheath.

"Draw opponent," he ordered. "Or would you rather forfeit?"

Trouble widened his arms. "I do forfeit, Orion. You may have Holly's heart."

"Trouble! What are you doing?" Holly hissed. He waved her off.

"I know what I'm doing," he assured her.

Orion slotted his sword back into its case. "I knew you were no match for someone of my caliber. Come to me, my princess."

Holly glanced at Trouble, and he nodded at her. She strode toward Orion, who waited for her with open arms.

"Ah, my sweetness," he said embracing her. "At last, you are mine."

"Oh, Orion!" Trouble called. "I have something you may want." He walked over to them and held up his open palm.

Orion broke his hug with Holly and picked up the ring that Trouble offered him.

"Why, thank..." He never got to finish his sentence because Trouble had hit him with several charges from his Neutrino.

"Quick, Holly, help me get him to Argon."

Artemis woke, pain blossoming across his chest and stars flashing in front of his eyes.

"Artemis?" asked a hesitant voice.

"Holly," he managed, his voice raspy. He tried to sit up, but Holly gently pushed him down again.

"You need to rest. You've had a tough treatment session."

Artemis closed his drooping eyes. "Holly... Did I really challenge Trouble to a duel to win your heart?"

"Yes, Artemis, but you were not yourself."

"I'm sorry."

"I know," Holly whispered softly.

"I am happy for you and Trouble. It's just that..."

"You don't have to explain yourself. I understand."

Artemis smiled sleepily. "Thank you, Holly."

"You're welcome." Holly bent and kissed the boy's forehead.

"Happy Valentine's Day, Holly."

"Happy Valentine's Day, Artemis."