The islands crumble...
The emotions are weary...
Everyone has long given up...
Except for one...
Sadness has infested my brain like a life-threatening cancer since 6th grade, going into higher and higher levels of severity. Depression is now, in and of itself, an island that lay along the coast of the orange cliffs, and not far from the edge is held the long-term memory, where all the memories fade in record time. The retrieval tube is broken, sucking up memories as soon as they are made. On the floor still lie the bodies of the emotions, ranging from dead to alive. Joy has long since given up and died on me. Disgust was next to go, followed by Anger. Now, Fear lies, dazed, on the marble floors of Headquarters, every once in a while allowing caution to seep into the console. He has not much time left, as he is no longer able to prevent self-harm. No longer can Fear work to have me coward out of the knife that lie on my left wrist, closer and closer to bigger and bigger cuts, caused by the strengthening power of Sadness. Sadness is boss nowadays, but long ago, much like Riley, Joy manned the console and didn't even have to prohibit Sadness. Sadness was just as much nearly dead as Fear is now. But she started to lash out against the others, first at Joy, who hadn't seen it coming as he allowed me to hand the note to that girl. I am mentally handicapped, but only slightly, so the emotions are forced to wear light ball-and-chains that slow them down, regardless. Sadness was still quick to respond to the denial of the crush I had in 6th grade, the crush who I thought I liked, but clearly, it was simply my ego, the unnamed monster that lay on the path between my emotions and my thoughts, sometimes flipping the switches and allowing my emotions to lose control of me. Simply, my ego thought that it was a good day to make mistakes, and so I made mistakes that day. Mistakes that would have probably made me more happy had I not made them. Next, my care for bad food or clothing was quickly thrown out the window, leaving Disgust useless. Then, the day Anger made a final stand, as I stood in the lunch line, having to back up, the unfair comments. My Anger couldn't handle himself, and before I knew it, I ran out of the line, trying to run somewhere, as it seems my Anger was trying to escape the engulfment of Sadness, but just as I slammed myself into that locker and screamed at the top of my lungs, so had Sadness enveloped Anger as well, and soon he was no more. Fear has kept up for the past couple years, being the second strongest of emotions, but he now grows weak, and it's hard to say when he too dies. Unfortunately, the time is coming, and I know it. Sadness knows it, and Fear lingers on this thought for the rest of his days. He realizes the day that he is killed, so am I. Something has severely damaged Sadness' original purpose, to gain sympathy. But now, Sadness is but a monster who has thrown away that purpose, his new purpose to kill, and kill, and kill. But yet, like weakening Messiahs, every once in a while, Joy make come back and take temporary control of me, or Disgust is able to give me the smallest taste. I have yet to feel true Anger in my life anymore, and as my emotions weaken, my body seems to weaken as well, weighed down by the depression that resides in my heart like a ball-and-chain in my blood, each day, pumping slower and slower, my metabolism slowing and slowing, and now, I sit her, 14 years old, 160 pounds, and pondering existence. Is it worth it to move on and try to undermine the Sadness that lives in me? Do I let the Sadness surround me and kill myself? I know it's not right, but the monsters inside of me don't seem to have a sense of right and wrong anymore.