AN. Well I had paper and I had to write a short story for school and well if u know me I LOVE Emmett and Jasper and well I had certain words that I had to use and that day my unique brain said "lets do sumtin funnay!" well my mind is so unique that I talk to immanent objects and unlike Bella in Eclipse they talk back. I also have a ghost haunting me and my psychiatrist is a stuffed dog named dr. Pink. So this is probably going to be a collections of hilarious Cullen goodness.

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Me pov.

Well today Emmett got bored and got an idea. Well his ideas are never usually sane and neither are his actions….just like me. So onto the story.

"Rosie Please come it'll be fun!" Emmett cried on his knees with his hands clasped together.

"oh fine." she finally sighed exasperated looking at her nails getting bored and frustrated with her psychotic, obnoxious husband.

"Thank you Rosie!" Emmett exclaimed kissing her on her cheek and grabbed her hand pulling her towards his car. Rosalie sighed and reluctantly followed.

With Emmett loudly singing along with the radio and his fast driving they arrived at the base ball stadium within 20 minutes.

Emmett got out of the car and pulled Rose up to the stand to buy tickets.

Once they bought their tickets and got settled into their seats the game began.

After 7 hit the ball Rosalie looked beside her and noticed that Emmett was gone. She sighed and started filing her nails.

A little bit later Emmett sat next to her. She looked at him to see he was eating a pretzel!

"Emmett you idiot you know we don't eat." Rosalie whispered to low for any human to hear.

"I know but it just looked so good." he said stuffing the whole thing in his mouth. "Eww! That was not good!" he cried trying to cough it back up. "Gross." Rose muttered.

A few minutes later Emmett left again and Rosalie heard a kid say "hey! Give that back! That is mine!" then she heard Emmett say "nuh uh! I found it!"

Rosalie walked over to see Emmett holding a bounce ball above his head in front of a short little 8 year old boy who was trying to jump up and get it.

"give it back!" The little boy whined still jumping up and get the ball.

"Finder's keepers, losers wheepers!" Emmett said in a sing song voice.

Just then the boy's father went up to Emmett and Emmett started running away from the boys father as fast as humanly possible.

After a little bit Emmett was trapped by the boys father and a brick wall, so he couldn't get away with out exposing us so he looked around and then looked at the ball and the boy's father started closing in then Emmett stuffed the ball into his mouth and swallowed it! "Ha ha! Now you can't have it!" he cried.

The man grabbed his son and walked away and muttered "creep."

Emmett grabbed Rosalie's hand and dragged her back to their seats.

"After a lot of loud yelling and some complaints from the bystanders the game was over and much to Emmett's disappointment the Mets won.

Then with out a reason 10 the first base man on the Oriel's team hit the ball. It went over the sign above the stands and Emmett used his vampire powers to jump up and catch the ball successfully. "Idiot." Rosalie muttered. Then all of a sudden Emmett jumped out of the stands and dug a hole still holding the ball. 20 minutes later Emmett met his wife at the Cullen's elegant home.

Emmett ran up to his room and Edward came out side next to Rose.

"looks like Emmett had an idea." he said looking at the giant mole hole looking thing in the front yard. "Esme is going to be mad." he added. "Yup" she said shaking her head. "That idiot." Edward mumbled. "Yeah well he's my idiot." she sighed walking toward her and Emmet's room to pry that ball away from him, but when she tried he fought back unsuccessfully. "Nooooo! Not my baby!" he cried. "Oh! I have an idea!" he suddenly busted out. "oh great!" Rosalie cried sarcastically throwing the ball in the air. Emmett caught it and started mumbling "My precious I will never lose you again." like golem from lord of the rings as Rosalie walked out.

Well that's it! Emmett is so much like me * sniffles* I am

so proud! --------------------------------------------------------------------

Cookie question the first person to give me the right answer will get the next chapter dedicated to him/her and will be in the next chapter!

Okay here it is : who where having this conversation? in what book? Why?

"no I didn't fight with Jacob. much. Why?"

" I was just wondering why you stabbed him. Not that I object."

Okay so there it! It's very obvious! don't 4get 2 review!