A/N: Same old disclaimer. George Lucas has all the fun of saying Star Wars is his. Please Read and Review.
Padawans
By: Robin Goodfellow
My name is Ariande Mir Ashira, but I got my nickname Aria from my Master Qui Gon Jinn. He took me as his student when he was still fresh out of training himself. Of course, Qui Gon was arrogant to the point of being annoying but you come to view that as one of his more endearing qualities. People love him for that stupid wit and sense of independence he prides himself on. He is Qui Gon Jinn, plain and simple.
I am not anything special to look at. I don't have the raised beauty hundreds of years of inbreeding has mastered, I have the looks of two old working class bums who found each other and decided to breed. I proudly come from uninspired breeding. I think that's what Qui Gon liked about me. I was blunt so much to the point I could be described as rude. I always said I called things like they were. He said he admired that in me. I replied by saying he talked too much.
I was only a few years his junior when he took me as his student. He was 23 and I was 11. I was in classes when I first saw him. He was handsome in a foolish sort of way. His hair was finely trimmed but that was about the only think neat about him. His clothes were worn and he was cradling some small creature in his arms, his cheek was bleeding. It turned out the creature was a pet belonging to a diplomat who had mistreated it so bad that the timid creature bit and clawed at whatever approached it. It showed how tender Qui Gon could be; he earned the creature's trust in matter of hours. He was shook up when it died later from the years of neglect. I saw him burying the creature in the gardens.
When we first met he was running away from two women, his future wife and her best friend. He kind of gave me this sheepish grin and said that if anyone asked I didn't see him. As soon as the two girls passed I pointed the way. I could him hear him laughing as soon as I snitched, like the sod had it all planned out. He more then likely did too. That was another thing about Qui Gon, there was always more then met the eye. Anyways after that encounter he watched me in training the next few days and chit chatted with me over lunches and stuff. I never guess he wanted me as a student.
Our years together were few. I was knighted when I was nineteen, young by normal standards but Qui Gon had been when he was seventeen although he had been a "herald" (Read Jedi Gofer) for the Council until he reached 19. We spent about eight years together and we were outlawed in a few systems (at least.) We were know for the more dangerous missions. We were the comeback kids, the Jedi that you'd be damned to admit that you liked us. We were foolish, and most of all, we were innocent. The world was just. People could be saved. Enemies could be redeemed. Monsters were only figments of imagination. He once told me many years later, how foolhardy we had been. I asked him what was wrong with that. Poor man, he said he had seen too much to believe it anymore. It was only after Obi Wan became his student did I begin to see him heal again. I only wish I could have seen he rediscover life more.
He married Shema a few years after we parted ways. I was there for the wedding and for the funeral. His wife and son would die leaving the Jinn family to consist of him and a daughter, Adame Dara Jinn. She was a lovely little kid but when she grew up she was a storm waiting to come to port. The girl had a temper that was legendary but she was as lost as an infant. Everyone close to the family knew she was not a normal child. She had something no one except her father could touch. It was an experience, a maturity that showed in her eyes. Like, she had seen more then anyone alive and she knew the future. I would have pitied her if she had deserved it.
Still, back to the girl's father. He was a decent man and he didn't deserve the way he was killed but Elohim does anyone? I suppose not or as Qui Gon would say, "It was the will of the Force…and if you believe that I'll tell you another one." I knew Qui Gon when he was still youthful and idealistic when he still believed that overall the universe was just and God was good. I knew him before he was that guarded person so many people remember him being. It wasn't that he stopped believing in the general good mind you, but there was a time he didn't need faith to believe it. I knew him before the Barak, before Mia, before Xanatos, before Shema, Guillermo, Adame and most of all before Darth Maul. I was his crowning glory if I do say so myself. I was his first padawan and that made us kin. I wouldn't of had any other way either. If only had I been there, I would made it to his side. But I wasn't there and Obi Wan was. Not that I blame the boy mind you he is good people in that, 'someone just shoot me and put me out of my misery,' sort of way. Go figure that was exactly the kind of student he would have wanted.
What Qui Gon must have been thinking as he fought Darth Maul, I can imagine exactly what it was. I need to get Obi Wan out of harm's way. I cannot allow the Sith to escape. I have to get these people out of danger. That was my Master, he always thought of other people before him but it was always how he could save them. He never trusted his padawans fully nor did he ever with fellow Jedi Knights. That distrust was because of me. My name is Xanatos Ben-Crion. I was his second padawan.
I was a boy when he first met me. A seven-year-old boy amidst the splendor of Telos, but Qui Gon offered something new and exciting. He offered the chance of being a Jedi. I was an only child; my father's pride much like Qui Gon's own daughter would be. With us, there was a kinship from the start. I appealed to the nobility of his blood. Qui Gon was still young when he knew me. He still was sheltered, arrogant and regal. He was nobility on his home world and when we were together he was barely coming into his own. He found out who he was with me. Our time together was cherished but hard on him. He lost faith in the Jedi Order, in God and in man. Sometimes I wish I could have comforted him but he hid his pain from me. There was a Jedi Knight that Qui Gon worshipped, a Cathar named Kadin Jal'Tanek; he was killed on a mission the Council later buried. His Master Viso-Ka disappeared that year too. The lost of his mentors hit him when he was still trying to grasp leadership. Fatherhood came to him when I was under him. Guillermo Charon was born to him and his wife. The boy was beautiful. He was Qui Gon's greatest prize and his greatest treasure. But Guillermo was sick and it didn't take long before the doctors told the Jedi Master- who as a student was without equal and as a knight was without barrier- that his son was born dying. I can still remember when Memo Cha died. He was in Qui Gon's arms. He fell asleep, crying from the pain. He was only one. Shema cried in my arms. I cried in hers. Qui Gon showed his tears to no one.
I wasn't on the mission that would lead to the most strife in his life. It was a mission to bring down the Barak crime family, a mission deemed too dangerous for a student. I stayed behind with a very pregnant Shema. She hadn't told Qui Gon that she was expecting. She didn't know what he would do. Neither did I. The mission sounded simple enough. Infiltrate the Barak family and gather hard evidence then bring them down. It could have worked that smoothly too, had Qui Gon not befriended their leader Roan, a man who made up for the lack of charismatic with sincerity and trust to his friends. He considered Qui Gon to be his friend. He appointed him to protect his daughter, a young girl named Mia. She was hauntingly beautiful, a delicate thing with light brown hair that was uncontrollably curly. The spirals cover hideous scars from her infancy, a reminder of wars and her mother's death. Make no mistake- Qui Gon loved Mia. He cherished the girl like she was his own. He went to great lengths to protect her, even if it meant compromising the mission. He had seriously considered warning Roan of the Republic's plans. In the end, he arranged for Mia to be kept from harm's way. If she had only stayed where he told her too.
Mia died from a blaster wound that pierced her as she attempted to run to her father. Qui Gon's was the shooter. He never talked about it.
Adame was born days later. Shema died from the stress of labor, forced on by the retaliating Barak ships. I was almost fatally injured with a broken spine. It took two weeks in a Bacta-tank before I recovered. I couldn't save Shema but Qui Gon never blamed me. He didn't need too, I already did.
There was one good thing about that time. Adame lived.
Telos, my last mission as a Jedi. I wish I could amend the things I did there but I cannot nor will I try. Qui Gon once said you cannot fix the past but you can help the future. It was a cheap saying I would have dismissed if it weren't true. The truth was, I was blinded by greed. The truth was so was my father. The truth was that Qui Gon was right but I was too blind to see that. The truth was, I owed him. He was my Master and only now after his death do I see how very much that meant. He loved me like a son. I wished I could have returned that love. Too little, too late.
The Qui Gon I knew was not playful, arrogant, overprotective or bold. He was guarded. He wasn't innocent or naïve. He was almost jaded. He was a Jedi and he knew what that meant. Qui Gon held a lifetime's sorrow in his eyes but it's joy he carefully protected in his heart. His world was to serve others and to love and raise his daughter. I remember having a Master that hid his emotions because they were so strong and not even he, with all his might, could defeat them. His world was his daughter, his friends and me. I am Obi Wan Kenobi but I think in his eyes, I was also Xanatos and Guillermo. I was his second chance, though he tried to deny it. I was his son, all the hopes and dreams he had for Guillermo fell on my shoulders. I have to admit I gladly took them. I loved Qui Gon like a father. I love him still.
It was a troubled beginning, marked by trials and his hurtful past. He had to learn to move pass his previous hurt that threatened to make him cynical. When we met, he only allowed Adame to touch his heart and he always would allow her more then anyone else alive. That was her downfall just as much as his. But she was his solace and he did not think he needed anyone else. It took many years for us to grow together and I am proud we did.
When he died, he left one male heir. Me. For the second time in my life I shouldered the weight of his dreams. I would have to carry on his legacy, by training to the boy he found and by protecting Adame. I don't think I can ever love her as much as he did but I swear I will try.
So there it is. Aria Mir Ashira was his crown. Xanatos Ben-Crion was his hurt. I was his redemption. I was what a lifetime of both foolhardiness and temperance, both imprudence and wisdom, and both truth and deception had wrought. I was the recipient of all his experience and though I could not learn everything from him, I learned what needed to be done, must be, regardless of what may come.