Genma Gets Going
Chapter one
I was sitting on the floor of an empty room in the Tendo dojo, clutching a note and seething with rage.
The rage faded to mere anger which dissolved into self-pity and despair in which I wallowed until the room became quite dark.
Soun Tendo, my good friend, my life long pal, came into the room and sat down on the floor next to me.
"Are you going to sit in here all night?" he said. "It's not like you to miss dinner."
I handed him the note and said. "Read this."
He turned on the light, took the note out of my hand and opened it.
He read the note. He read it again, and again.
"What is the meaning of this?" he said, angrily.
"I must leave this house." I said, trying to remain calm. "I must leave this house in the morning."
"Why?"
"Honor bids me leave. I must follow the path where honor leads."
"This is something new."
"Soun, my friend, you cut me to the quick. Honor has ever been my watchword."
"I don't remember that."
Just then, Soun's daughter, Kasumi, walked into the room.
Soun's beautiful daughter, very beautiful daughter, very, very, very... oh... where was I?
Soun's daughter, Kasumi, walked into the room and said, in her sweet voice, in her very sweet and lovely... ahem... excuse me.
Kasumi walked into the room and said. "Are you going to stay in here all night?"
Soun handed the note to his daughter and said. "Read this."
She took the note out of his hand and read it. She read it again, and again.
"Oh my!" she said, placing her pretty hand anxiously on the side of her pretty face. "I suppose I'll have to tell Akane."
"TELL ME WHAT?"
A stocky, bulky girl with a short haircut came stomping into the room.
"WHAT'S GOING ON?" she yelled, with a voice that scraped my ears like sandpaper.
Kasumi handed her the note.
She read the note and laughed. "Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! AH HA HA HA HA HA HA HAH!
GOOD RIDDANCE TO BAD RUBBISH!"
She tore up the note, turned around, stomped out of the room and slammed the door.
The three of us watched her leave and stared at the door for a minute.
"Well," said Kasumi, "that went better than I thought it would."
We nodded our heads.
I slept fitfully that night.
My failure was weighing heavily on me.
My failure as a martial artist, my failure as a husband, my failure as a father...
I tossed and turned and when I did sleep, I had bad dreams.
Stocky girls pointing at me and laughing.
Wives holding swords, ready to lop my head off.
Little kids climbing all over me, rubbing their greasy hands all over my fur.
Chapter two
The next morning, with a heavy heart, I packed my things.
A clear sky, singing birds and a fresh morning breeze greeted me as I stepped out the door.
My good friend, Soun Tendo, also greeted me as I stepped out the door.
"I thought you might try to sneak out."
"Sneak?" I said, aghast. "I wasn't sneaking."
"What do you call it then?"
"I was... um... sparing everyone the anguish of a tearful farewell."
"I see."
"Besides, if I wanted to sneak I could sneak. It's something I do very well."
He pursed his lips and rubbed his chin. "True, very true."
"Why are you standing here anyway? Are you going to try and talk me out of leaving?"
"No, no, I was just wondering where you were going to go and what you were going to do."
I put my bag down and crossed my arms.
"These are desperate times." I said, solemnly. "I must do something desperate."
He stepped in front of me, crossed his arms and said, with a frown. "You're not going to kill yourself, are you?"
No, I'm not going to kill myself. I'm going to do something much worse than that."
"Worse than suicide?" He scratched his head and looked at the sky. "What's worse than suicide?"
"I'm going to... I'm going to... I'm going to... Gah! I can't say it!"
"Be strong, Saotome, be strong."
"Okay, I'll try again, here goes... I'm going to... I'm going to... I'm going to..."
"Would you just say it already!"
"You don't have to take that tone with me." I said, indignantly.
Soun put his hands together, smiled and said. "Please?"
"That's better. I'm going to... I'm going to join the circus."
He looked shocked. "Are things really that desperate?"
"Yes," I said, "they are, so if you don't mind, I must go."
I picked up my bag and headed toward the front gate.
"Wait." he said.
I turned around. "What is it?"
"Do you even know where to find a circus?"
"Find a circus?" I said, affronted. "Of course I can find a circus. Anyone can find a circus. I see them around all the time, all over the place. Can I find a circus, indeed."
He crossed his arms and stared at me.
I put my hand on the back of my head and said, sheepishly. "Um... any ideas?"
"Genma, Genma, my friend." he said, patting me on the back. "Come inside and have some breakfast, then we'll have a look on Kasumi's computer. Wouldn't that be easier then wandering around until you stumbled on one?"
"Yes, yes, that's true, and I am kind of hungry."
Chapter three
My good friend, Soun Tendo, accompanied me to the circus.
As we walked through the sea of trailers I noticed people milling about.
Normal looking people wearing normal looking clothes.
I saw no face paint, no tights, no overly large shoes, no big red noses and thought. "What gives?"
Granted, I saw some red noses but they weren't very big.
I would have thought that we had come to the wrong place if it wasn't for the smell of the animals and the big sign on the side of one of the trailers that read. "Circus Office."
We walked up to the door of that trailer and knocked.
"Come." said a voice from inside.
"Come?" I thought. "That's awfully pretentious. Can't he just say "Come in" or actually get up and answer the door?"
Soun opened the door and we walked inside.
I looked around the room and was unimpressed.
There was nothing in there that said. "Circus."
There wasn't even a top hat.
A man was sitting behind a desk, writing.
He was wearing a sweatsuit, of all things, nothing circusy about that, though I did find his funny little mustache reassuring.
When he finished writing, he looked up and said. "What can I do for you?"
"I'm here to join the circus." I said.
The man stood up and walked around the desk.
"What is it you do?"
I grabbed a bottle of water from off the desk and poured it over my head.
I then wrote on my little chalkboard. "I'm a panda."
The man couldn't read the sign.
He couldn't read the sign because he was stretched out on the floor unconscious.
As we were bending over the man we heard a scream.
We looked over and saw a woman standing in the doorway.
"Eek!" she screamed. "A vicious panda attacked the boss!"
She turned around and ran away.
We heard her screams fading in the distance.
"I think he's still breathing." said Soun, kneeling beside the prostrate man with the funny mustache.
I grunted.
"There he is! Get him! Get the ferocious panda that attacked the boss!"
The woman was back and she had a mob with her.
Soun stood up and posed in a karate type fashion.
"Wait." he said. "I'm a martial arts expert. These hands are lethal weapons."
"Yeah," said a man, standing in the front of the mob, "and this is a big pointy stick."
"Hmm, I see your point." said Soun, moving around behind me.
"Hey, thanks old buddy." I would have said if I could have.
I grunted instead.
"Wait!" said the formerly unconscious man with the funny mustache, sitting up. "Don't touch that panda!"
The mob murmured.
The man stood up, walked over beside me and said. "This is our new star."
The mob murmured some more.
"And I'm his agent." said Soun, smiling and offering his hand.
You know, I've known Soun for a lot of years and I've never thought he was very quick off the mark,
but this impressed me.
The man took Soun's hand and smiled. "I'm sure we can come to an understanding that will be beneficial to all parties."
"I'm sure we can." said Soun, shaking the mans hand. "Don't you think we should change him back so that he can sign the contract?"
"Change him back?" The man lost his smile. "How do we do that?"
"Hot water."
"Wait a minute."
The man walked over to the door and said. "Move along, move along, there's nothing to see here, move along."
The mob dispersed, but not without much more murmuring and grumbling.
The man closed the door, locked it and turned around.
"Hot water you say? How hot?"
"Hot," said Soun, "but not scalding."
"How much do you need?"
"Just a cup will do."
"I could heat some in the microwave."
"That will do just fine."
When I was returned to my man form, my very manly man form, the man with the funny mustache handed us a contract and we looked it over.
Soun and I thought, at the time, that it was very generous.
We signed it.
The man with the funny mustache shook our hands and smiled, a very bright and sunny smile, a smile that said. "I'm going to be rich!"
Chapter four
After a week of rigorous rehearsal and a truck load of bamboo I was ready for my debut.
I moved aside a flap in the tent, looked inside and saw a huge crowd.
The next thing I knew someone was sticking some kind of horrid smelling thing up my nose.
"Mr. Panda, Mr. Panda." said a man, kneeling beside me. "It's time for you to go on."
I rolled up into a ball.
"Mr. Panda, Mr. Panda, don't be like that."
"What's going on?" said the man with the funny mustache.
"Mr. Panda, he won't move."
The man with the funny mustache unclasped a whip from his belt and cracked it.
I suddenly felt like moving.
I lumbered through the tent flap and into the ring.
I was nervous as hell.
The audience was clapping, so I stood up, hesitantly, and did one of my easiest karate moves."
The people clapped and cheered.
I did some more karate moves.
They started clapping in rhythm.
I felt more energy pulsing through me with each cheer.
The crowd yelled and stomped their feet.
I began to feel exhilarated.
The audience was on it's feet.
I felt like laughing and crying and jumping and singing.
When I finished my act, the crowd roared. "Encore! Encore!"
I did some more moves and soaked in the cheers.
I then lumbered out of the tent and collapsed on the ground.
I was spent, but with a feeling of euphoria that I never knew existed.
Epilogue
Our circus plays to packed houses all over Japan.
I'm the star, the center of attention and I love it.
Sometimes my good friend, Soun Tendo, and his lovely daughters travel with me, along with my wife, who suddenly and inexplicably remembered that I exist.
And if that boy ever comes crawling back, I won't forgive him.
That's not true, I will, but I'll make him squirm a bit first.
The End