She Wasn't Mine

The sun was dipping below the clouds as she walked towards his makeshift campsite, away from all the others. She had seen him stomping off in a huff in that direction so she followed him. When she reached the campsite she was almost sorry that she came out because he was piss mad. But Carol needed to talk to him, he was slipping away and she was not going to let that happen.

Not one more person was going to leave her, either by death or by any other means. Carol had enough of death and what it brought to everyone around them. There would be no more, if she could help it.

When he saw her there he was immediately enraged, Daryl couldn't understand why she would go walking around the farm alone when it was getting dark. Did she have a death wish or something? Maybe she did, and right now he couldn't blame her really.

Her daughter as dead, and he couldn't imagine how she must feel. Her husband was dead, but Daryl knew how that felt, the relief when your abuser was finally gone, he knew that feeling well. Freedom. It was sweet.

"What are you doing here?" He raged at her.

"I can't lose you too…" She started, but Daryl cut her off with a wave of his hand.

"You know you're some piece of work lady." He waved his hand at her and she backed up. She wasn't afraid of him, that really wasn't why she backed up, it was a reflex. She wasn't afraid of this man in front of her because although Daryl's bark was loud, deep down he wasn't like Ed.

Daryl was a good man, she knew that. No one else would have searched for her daughter like he did, relentlessly and at his own risk. She meant what she said, he was every bit as good as Rick and Shane, better, really.

But he was raging at her now, it was his own way of grieving she supposed. He had lost his brother and she had never really seen him grieve over that. Carol figured he did that in private, but whatever he was feeling right now, he was letting it out.

"Go ahead…" She whispered softly, lifting her chin up to him and not taking her eyes away from his.

"Go ahead…what?" He asked sharply.

She didn't answer, she just met his eyes blue on blue. He saw determination there, strength, she was a woman who had protected her child from harm. It had gone on for years, Carol throwing herself between Ed and Sophia, taking the focus off of the child and saving her at her own risk.

Daryl knew she was not weak like his own mother, who cowered in corners trying to keep her own hide from being harmed. He had made peace with that long ago and he had forgiven her, sometimes he even thought he had forgiven the old man, but only sometimes.

Baby steps, he told himself, all in good time.

But right now? Right now he was even more pissed, did she think he was going to hit her? Was that how she saw him?

"She wasn't mine." He yelled.

Carol nodded. "I know." She said softly, thinking but something tells me I wish she was.

"You didn't watch her." He yelled stepping closer to her, so that he was right in her face and she could see the tears in his eyes. "She wasn't mine."

It was a rare occasion that Daryl willingly got close to someone.

Carol reached for him and he surprisingly let her take his hand, and then he took her in his arms, so gently. They both had tears spilling slowly down their faces now and they just stood there in the dark holding each other.

"She wasn't mine." Daryl repeated as Carol ran her hands up and down his back to comfort him. Then he was looking at her with the sweetest expression on his face. His features no longer hard and angular, his eyes soft with longing.

The longing she saw in his eyes was matched by the longing in her own.

Before she could stop herself her lips were on his and surprisingly, he was kissing her back, pulling her closer still to him. Carol hadn't meant to kiss him, it had been an accident, really. But then he kissed her back and suddenly she felt like she was right where she was supposed to be in that very moment.

Then he dried her tears with his thumbs and placed his forehead on hers. He smiled at her and she knew that from that day on he would be by her side because now she was his.