A/N: Niou is definitely my ideal man.
Disclaimer: I only own the fic. The idea is from demoncat13. PoT will remain Konomi's. Don't sue me.
To demoncat13. Here's my answer to your challenge:
"When Niou is trying to sleep he comes up with the craziest ideas. Some of them pranks, some just musings, others are ways to get his love all to himself. When he wakes in the morning he wonders why he thinks up this stuff when trying to sleep."
SLEEP
The paint is fading. Should I tell my dad? Nah...He'll decide the paint. Probably ask me to pay for it too. Mom will definitely resort to pink. That's what all girls-er women do. Paint their nails with pink. Their cheeks. Even their eyelids. Why do women spend so much time on these frilly things anyway?
Niou thought all these as he surveyed the ceiling of his room. His eyes had just adjusted to the darkness after being momentarily blinded by the sudden change as he had switched his lights off. Dressed in a cyan shirt with his elementary school logo printed on it, and a pair of black loose shorts with a brown bear stitched on the left pocket (oh, he would never let his team mates see his sleep wear), he was lying on his bed, a fluffy pillow under his head, another one covering his chest and the blanket thrown carelessly over his midrib. It was already 11:45 in the evening.
And yeah, lipstick. Ayase used lipgloss yesterday. Yuck. Lips ought to be natural ain't they? And hair. WHY do people dye their hair pink when they can have platinum just like mine?He fingered his soft locks free from his rattail. Pink. Reminds me of another person. Ha! Marui Bunta.
Niou reached for his phone, hesitated for awhile, and let the gadget be. It was too late at night. He sure was a trickster but he knew his limits. Now who would he talk with about Bunta's hair?
There surely was one person who could understand him: Yagyuu. He excitedly lied on his stomach and grabbed his phone. He pushed the right buttons for Yagyuu's phone number and waited as the other end rang.
"Moshi moshi..." came the gentleman's drowsy voice.
"Puri. Yagyuu, why do you think Marui has pink hair? Do you think he's gay because I certainly don't like having one discreetly looking at my body while changing?"
"You mean he can look at you in the open?"
Niou considered this as he brushed some hair strands from his eyes. "I haven't thought about that but at least that's not discreet. So what do you think? Gay?"
"Ask him instead. This kind of talk is not something I like to participate in. Oyasumi."
"Matte Yagyuu. I don't mind Bunta-chan being gay but it bothers me why a boy has to dye his hair pink."
"It's red. And by the way, asking that is the same as asking why my hair is purple."
Before Niou could say that he was nowhere near thinking of that idea and the notion had just hit him, thanks to Yagyuu, the gentleman had decided that sleep was more important than an insomniac trickster and cut their conversation.
"Nyarou. Homophobic Yagyuu. Remind me again not to call you when I want to talk about sexuality," Niou glared at his already silent phone. He threw it near his things for school and flopped on his hastily made-up bed.
Yagyuu's hair doesn't bother me much unlike Marui's. He's supposed to be a tensai right. Do all tensai-tachi dye their hair absurd colors? Seigaku's Fuji, brown. Hyotei's Oshitari, blue. Shitenhouji's buchou. Nah, my hair color is better than his. Speaking of which…I think I am a tensai. Haha.
At least mine is better than Akaya. That brat. Puri. He ought to have a different hairstyle. But that seaweed hairstyle is becoming. Hehehe. I ought to have a part time job in that barber shop. I CAN give the brat a new hairstyle…say a spaghetti hairstyle, Carbonara if he'd want my color. Noodle hairstyle for wet look. Udon for thicker tresses. How would I lure him though? Ah!
Niou leaned over and felt for his puppets under his bed. "There's a cap, that's probably Echizen or fukubuchou," he grunted. "Soft hair, with no eyes, probably Fuji or Renji. Or Yukimura buchou smiling. Reminds me…where is the angry Yukimura…Megane? Inui or Tezuka. Matte. Why are there more Seigaku members here? Ah."
"Puri!" He triumphantly held the Akaya puppet, showing it off to the ceiling. "Yo, Akaya, would you like spaghetti or carbonara?"
"Is this one of your tricks again, senpai?"
Niou slapped the puppet, "I can ask the same question to anyone. Just answer."
"Carbonara."
Niou sniggered. He let his arms drop to his sides. He immediately got tired as he felt Sleep tugging him to Dream Land and he dared not resist. His droopy eyes fell on the ray of moonlight flooding his room through the window.
In our Classic class, the teacher said that women are often compared to the moon. Why though? Women were supposed to be round? I see a lot who try to be skinny though. Round boobs maybe. My mom was talking about them the other day. Even guys want to have them these days, I wonder. And they are ridiculously white. I mean the girls, not the boobs, piyo. Although admittedly, they are supposed to be white, the boobs I mean, because they are not often exposed. My torso is fairer than my arms but not much since I often take my shirt off during practices. It's hot these days.
To the girls with big boobs. Right, I find them attractive. I saw a few hentai and some blue films in a sempai's house last year and big boobs have their purposes but they are not something to die for. Hai, flat-chested women sure look like guys but that's it. They are still girls. And besides, I hardly see flat-chested women around.
Don't big-breasted women, say Hanamura-sensei from Joseishounan, find it sad and insulting that men look at their boobs first before they look at their faces? I would be insulted if a woman would stare at my crotch and not my face. But no one has done so far. I know I am the bishounen type, puri.
When I have a girlfriend, I will look at her face always. Except when I am walking since that will be ridiculous. I will ask her questions about herself and won't get ahead of myself telling my autobiography and accomplishments to boot. But when I speak she has to listen. But people do listen to me when I speak. I am a natural leader, haha—And amuse her with a joke or two. (yawn) It's bad when what she only hears from me is joke. I'll probably teach her some math but that is crazy. I like girls who can challenge me in Math…because that's rare. I'll call her when she least expects it. But I won't always insist on seeing her. She will miss me then. What else…(long yawn) I may give her flowers but not always since it'll be expensive. When she's angry, I'll make her angry some more. Because after that I can say sorry to the fullest. I don't want to say sorry when I know I'll do it again. I will only say sorry once. Just once. Probably I'll say "daisuki" just once too. So it will be more meaningful.
Lastly, I'll let her meet the team. I think that's the best hint that I like her. Meet my parents…that will come.
(yawn) I will tell my Classics teacher that I compare a girl I like to Sleep. Someone I will prioritize over homework except Math. Someone I can balance with tennis practice. Someone I try to take for granted but can't. Someone who can fulfill my dreams or give me nightmares. Someone that I can postpone seeing but will definitely meet regularly. Because… without her… I'll die, (yawn) just like what will happen to me when I don't sleep…puri.
Zzzzz
The room flooded with the moonlight embraced Niou as his breathing became deeper and as his thoughts became still.
Niou whacked himself on the head with his palm. He still had a headache from last night's thoughts. The ideas swirled in his head that by the time he finished the first 40 laps and gulped water, his whole head throbbed like it was about to explode. He thought he should not be the only one suffering. He ought to share this experience to Yagyuu who had hung the phone, to Akaya who had seaweed hair, to Marui who had pink, and to the big chested girls in Rikkaidai.
"Jigoku!" he cursed loudly not caring if it would earn him 10 more laps. He would die before he could finish anyway.
"Why is Niou-sempai running more laps than usual today?" Akaya asked his team mates. Niou running laps was not surprising since it had been happening since he had registered to be a part of the team. Still, the reasons for his punishment had always been interesting that no one could stop himself from asking every day.
"Oh? He was late. He said he was thinking of bizarre things last night," Marui answered in between popping his apple gum.
"Eh, did he tell you why?"
Marui only shrugged, Jackal shook his head, and Yagyuu focused on adjusting his arm band.
"Sanada, did you ask him why he was late?" Yukimura asked the always stoic fukubuchou.
Sanada blushed a little, cleared his throat and tried not looking at Yukimura as he replied, "He fell asleep late because he was thinking about anatomy."
"He was thinking about a woman's anatomy is 93 percent more precise," master Renji added, trying to help Sanada.
Yukimura did not find this too alarming though. He smiled sweetly as if pleased. "Our petenshi is growing."
Akaya asked what the buchou meant but Sanada pulled his cap deeper to his head, Renji was 100 percent quiet, Yagyuu practiced swinging his racket, Marui shrugged his shoulder and Jackal shaved his head.
Niou continued to curse the moon to the warm sun shine.
More A/N: I was rather dreaming when I wrote the 'girlfriend' part. Hehe. Ayase is a name I took from Okane Ganai but is nowhere related to my fic.
To demoncat13, I hope it gives you justice.
Zannen munnen mataraishuu.