Author's Note:
Edward Cullen is a highly gifted video game programmer that falls into a streak of bad luck. On a particularly upsetting night, Edward designs his very own game character unaware of the repercussions of wishful thinking, hard liquor, and modern technology.
This is a one-shot (but split in to two parts). Be warned that this story will have a sadder ending. As always let me know what you think.
Enjoy,
The Adventures of LoverBoy and DigiGirl
Have you ever had one of those days where your life completely sucks – and sucks to such a degree that you start to wonder if you accidently enrolled yourself into one of those TV soap operas? Well if you haven't…you're either extremely lucky, deliriously naïve, or completely ignorant.
My name is Edward A.M. Cullen and I am a graphics designer as well as a computer programmer. My hair has a tendency to do what it likes; it is a coppery color that clashes with (or brings out, whichever you prefer) the forest green of my eyes. My favorite food is chicken potpie – my mother's, of course. A son can't get away with loving some other woman's food; that would be like accepting the poisoned apple from the evil sorceress when your mother has a healthy, ripe garden in the back of the cottage.
Anyway, I enjoy creating new gaming software and my absolute favorite part is designing the characters. Of course, I don't work on these projects on my own; I work for the company Innomations Inc. Mostly, I supervise the designs of other people and aid with the programming of the current game. I haven't gotten the chance to complete a whole blueprint on my own, but that's a whole can of ants for a different picnic…
My parents were always supportive of my career choice as well as my quirky talents which is why I don't understand how…well, let me get to that in a few minutes, ahem.
As I was saying, my mother, Esme Cullen is a culinary genius while my father is a neurosurgeon. People tend to think that their professions are on the opposite sides of the similarity spectrum, but to me, they share a few things in common; they both are able to use knives like ninjas, perform a basic function for humankind, and can expertly handle delicate substances. To say that they are on the same level difficulty-wise is something entirely different…
They met at my mother's first restaurant, Esme's. They went through the whole song-and-dance of bumping into each other and falling in love. A year afterwards, they were married and a year after that they had me. I suppose I proved to be a handful since I was their only child for a few years until they had my sister Alice several years later.
They provided me with everything I could possibly need. You'd think I would resent them like any normal spoiled brat, but I actually respected them and loved them fondly – still do. Not only had they provided me with material luxuries, but they showered me with affection and discipline; trust me, my parents did not take back-talk lightly. I honestly owe them entirely for my humble, kind demeanor as well as my intelligence – which is also why I secretly am irritated by them.
They created a sweet, sensitive, understanding guy which basically set me up to fail miserably romantically. I mean, have you seen the chick flicks that are in theatres lately? Sure, the main character appears to be sweet and caring, but how many of those girls actually give that character a shot in real life? Not that some girls don't love the attention of a meek, head-over-heels in love, kind guy, but they practically swoon when the complete opposite knocks on their door. Go figure.
I would have been better off with a careless attitude and a curtain of Axe body spray permeating from my sun-kissed pores. However, I can't complain about my looks either; I take a little pride in staying in shape and working on my muscles – then again, so do the majority of men, nowadays.
The only difficulty I seem to have is actually keeping girls interested after they eye-grope me. I never would have thought that a potential relationship could take such a painful turn after it becomes awkward after the 'so what do you do's.' This brings me to my obnoxious opening statement about life sucking so much that I hardly believe I'm living it.
In the span of one week, I lost my good reputation as a reliable supervising manager/graphics designer, had to freeze all of my accounts because someone tried to steal my identity, and the girl I had been meeting at Starbucks decided that instead of telling me she hadn't seriously wanted to date me, she'd embarrass me in front of her friends and damage the remaining smidgen of pride I had left. Not bad enough for you? After leaving Starbucks, while it was raining, I was mugged and the attacker took the cards of my frozen accounts and the papers I needed to protect myself against the identity theft.
I had holed myself up in my apartment for weeks at a time until my sister thought it was in my best interest if she came over and gave me advice and coerced me into letting her fix my life.
"Come on, Edward. Just let me set you up with one of my girlfriends, that'll take your mind off of things." Alice cooed as she traipsed around my apartment, taking things off shelves and inspecting them.
I laid down on my worn brown leather couch with an arm over my eyes as I sighed heavily at her request. "You know every other time you set me up, it ended badly, Alice. I'm honestly fine."
"Edward, you are not fine. You haven't left your apartment in weeks. You've been suspended from your position at your job and it's in jeopardy and you've done nothing to try and fix that. What's happening to you, Edward? You're starting to worry me." She cried softly as she sat on the edge of the couch looking down on my disheveled self.
I peeked out from behind my arm and grimaced, "I didn't mean to worry you. I… well, it's embarrassing to talk about." I hedged, feeling a blush creeping into my cheeks.
Alice cocked her head to the side, "you don't have to be embarrassed with me, Eddie Weddie," she smiled pinching my cheek. "I've seen you at your worst. You can talk to me about anything, so tell me."
I rolled my eyes at her as I sat up and sighed, rubbing a hand across my face. "I'm lonely." I mumbled into my hand.
"What was that?" She asked leaning in closer.
"I'm lonely, Alice. I said I was lonely." I said hurriedly, getting up from the couch.
"Well, Edward, that's why I'm trying to set you up! Why are you being so stubborn then? Just let me work my magic and-"
"No. No, I don't want that, Alice. I want to be able to know that I can attract someone on my own. I want to find love on my own…I can't rely on my baby sister for everything."
Alice slowly relented, nodding minutely. "Alright…if that's what you want…" She trailed off, already thinking of how to drag me out of my funk.
"Stop what you're doing, Alice. Cut it out. I don't want your help." I groused as I marched into the kitchen to grab a beer out of my nearly empty fridge.
"Fine, fine, but at least do something with your time instead of lying around, wasting away. Go out…work out…catch a movie…" She listed, but my facial reactions let her know that I wasn't interested in any of those options. "Why don't you work on a game? You haven't done that in a while. And it could help loosen up your boss if you come back with a good idea and starting point. Please, Edward? Just focus on that and try to get your life on track."
I sighed and came to the realization that no matter how much I hedged around Alice, she would make me agree to something.
"Okay, that's fair enough. I'll start a new game, just for you." I smiled lightly taking a swig of my beer. "Now, aren't you late for a date or something? I'm sure Jasper wouldn't appreciate thinking he's been stood up." I grinned teasingly as horror flashed across her face.
She zipped through my apartment, snatching her things and flinging it into her purse. She flitted up to my side and gave me a quick peck on the cheek.
"Bye, Edward. Remember what I said, do as I said, and I can't wait to see your new game!" She rattled off excitedly as she made her way out of my apartment.
When I heard the door shut, I flopped back down onto the couch. I didn't have to start the game right away. Some sleep might bring inspiration…
…
I woke in the middle of the night, distraught by the string of dreams I experienced. Yes, experienced. They felt so vivid that I thought they had actually happened to me. If my several weeks alone in my apartment hadn't depressed me, my dreams sure sought to.
All the dreams ended the same way: I was old, alone, and miserable.
They made me so restless that I got off the couch to start pacing. My hands automatically found purchase in my hair as I tugged, frustrated. I was determined not to let my dreams play out, but how was I supposed to get girls interested in me? Some days it was hard enough making myself interested in me!
I let out an agitated rumble as I made my way into the kitchen. I raided my liquor cabinet for the strongest stuff I had. I slid down onto the floor and drank directly from the bottle. The dark brown liquid swished rhythmically as it followed the path along the bottle and down my throat.
I relished the fire that burned a trail down my gullet as I took swig after swig. I couldn't handle being alone in my dingy apartment for much longer. The weight of the pain from my suspended position came crashing down on me like a caving roof. I had gone years without a girlfriend; I had not one meaningful relationship, outside of my family, to account for.
I often pushed the thoughts away, but I felt pathetic and incapable. How hard could it be to be happy? To find someone that loved me?
I downed another mouthful of alcohol.
In my drunken haze, I remembered the promise I had made earlier to Alice and stumbled to my feet. With bottle in hand, I tried to walk normally to the computer residing in my living room.
I sat down on the office chair and somehow was able to log onto my laptop. Once I opened the programs and settled all the tedious parts of programming, I opened the programs I needed to design the main character.
I picked up the liquor bottle once more and took a long drink. I set it down by my feet and started creating a female character. I couldn't stand the unrealistic Barbie doll characters my coworkers thought the customers liked better; since when did men give up on curves?
I made the character petite, rounded her hips and her breasts, but not to a fake extent. I wanted her to seem real...
After I had picked a hair type and color, personalized her facial features and picked an outfit, I sat there gaping at the screen. I had never put so much effort into my characters…well, that wasn't true. I never took it upon myself to create a character on my own. Or one that was based entirely off of my own preferences.
She was beautiful.
"Oh god…" I groaned aloud, slurring my words. "I'm in love with a fucking game character." I dropped my forehead onto the keyboard of my laptop. "Get a grip, Edward. I probably just need a nap."
I shoved myself off of the chair and lumbered off to my bedroom, leaving the program open. I was too bewildered and tired to properly shut it down. I flopped onto my mattress and rested an arm over my weary eyes.
For a little while I entertained the thought of letting Alice set me up with one of her 'friends,' even though those girls always seemed like they wanted to backstab her for one stupid reason or another.
The alcohol flowing through me helped me ignore my brewing frustration. "I'll find my dream girl one of these days." I mumbled as I drifted off into a fitful sleep.
…AoLBaDG…
"Edward…" The sweet voice cooed into my ear another time.
"Mmm?" I answered sleepily, a smile starting at the corners of my lips.
Two soft, small hands caressed their way up my bare chest as I melted into the touch. They teased my chest and scratched lightly along my abs. "Keep doing that, baby," I encouraged huskily with my eyes still shut. This was the best dream I've had in a while and I wanted every second to play out.
The sweet voice came closer to my ear as she breathed out, "like this?" She took the top of my ear between her lips and bit down gently. I nearly lost it then.
I moaned as I squirmed under her hands, "yes." I croaked out. My hands fisted the sheets as her lips wandered down my chin to my neck.
I was beyond happy that this dream was still going on. I didn't have to be embarrassed that I was getting riled up so easily and quickly. I could enjoy this for as long…or as little as I wanted.
"Wake up and hold me, Edward." She murmured seductively in my ear. My head turned slightly and my eyebrows furrowed. I couldn't wake up. It would be over if I did.
I mumbled sleepily, "a little longer, baby."
Her soft hands trailed up to my head and she raked her fingers through my hair. I moaned in contentment and urged my subconscious to pull me down deeper.
"Come on, wake up Edward. Do I need to call Alice to get you up?" She muttered while tugging my hair gently.
The dream had taken an odd turn. Why was my dream girl talking about my sister? I needed to steer this back to what I wanted. "I want you, babe. Keep touching me, I love it."
The fingers in my hair froze before they slowly extricated themselves from my hair. I pouted slightly in response. Not even my own dream was willing to work with me.
"Edward, get up now. I'm not going to be catering to you all day while you just lay there. Maybe I want you to touch me back!" She huffed in irritation.
I started pulling out of the dream, it was starting to turn sour.
I opened my eyes with a sigh as I ran my hand over my face. "Just once I'd like things to go my way," I muttered against my hand.
"Oh, really? Well, relationships don't work that way, Edward. Now, get up. We need to clean this apartment." The voice from my dream demanded.
My blood ran cold. My eyes popped open and I peeked through my fingers, my gaze was met with the ceiling and I slowly looked over to my side.
To my right was a beautiful brunette that was leaning towards me bearing the most beautiful cleavage I had ever seen. She wore a white tank top and dark blue shorts. She propped herself up on her knees and was looking at me expectantly.
In a panic, I rolled out of my bed, ended up getting mixed up in the blankets and landing with a hard thud on the floor. I groaned as I got up and tried stepping out of my sheets quickly. "What the hell are you doing in my apartment? Who are you?"
The brunette lounging on my bed looked up at me with a worried expression, "are you alright, Edward? Come here, let me help you…"
"No! No, I'm fine. Who are you?" I asked again in a firmer voice. I couldn't believe I was nearly shouting at a gorgeous intruder, but the more rational part of my brain was freaked out that she had been lying in bed with me, possibly contemplating how to kill me and take my money. If the girl was in my apartment, half-naked no less, she was probably not well in the head.
"What do you mean? I'm your girlfriend, Edward…" She trailed off looking at me – ME – like I was the insane one.
I started pacing and tugged at my hair, "this had to be Alice's doing. I TOLD her I didn't want any help!" I rumbled as I turned to face the brunette. "You need to leave and tell Alice that I don't want her help or her friends!"
The girl sat up straighter as her eyes rounded, she hastily got to her feet and tried approaching me.
"Don't come near me, just leave!" I shouted at her and she stopped in her tracks.
Her face melted into a pained expression as she started sobbing and stormed out of the room.
I rubbed a hand over my face as I sighed heavily. Why should I feel bad for yelling at her? SHE was the one that had broken into my house and tried to seduce me… well, when I tell the story that way, it doesn't seem too bad…
Seriously, what is it about a woman that just makes you want to throw your hands up in defeat and take all the blame once she sheds a tear? It must be inscribed in good guy DNA.
I heard some clinking and thunking coming from the living room and momentarily thought that she was breaking my things in anger.
I left my room and walked into the living room to find the brunette pressing her hand against my laptop screen in frustration. The second I saw her doing that, my blood turned cold; the first reason for my shock was because of the damage she was inflicting on my computer and the second was because it just hit me as to why she looked so familiar.
"Holy shit." The expletive tumbled out from my lips and she paused in her actions long enough to look over at me.
The brunette beauty in front of me redoubled her efforts and pressed her hand harder against my laptop until I heard a distinctive snap. The screen of my laptop fell onto the desk, parallel to its keyboard.
A gasp escaped from the beauty's lips; she was panicked that the laptop fell apart and was unsure what to do next. She glanced over at me and I thought she was on the verge of asking for my help, but she ignored me. She picked up the screen and tried to snap it back into place.
I finally came out of my shocked stupor, "it's broken."
It was a stupid comment to make, but I've already confessed that I can't have a coherent conversation with a woman.
"Then point me to another device and I'll go back." She replied in a soft voice that sounded like it was laced with regret.
"That was my only laptop…and my cell phone doesn't work the same way… I mean, I guess I'll have to get a new computer, but that won't be until tomorrow or the day after – "
I stopped my incessant rambling and ran a frustrated hand through my hair. Logic started to slowly, very slowly, creep its way back into my mind.
"Wait a minute, what do you mean you'll go back through my laptop?"
Her resemblance to my recently designed game character was certainly uncanny, but to actually accept that she was the actual character would be preposterous.
I had grown indescribably lonely in the past months, but obviously my imagination was trying to make me abandon all reason in its loveless, suffering state.
The brunette shifted from one foot to another; the muscles in her calves and thighs bunched and relaxed.
"That's where I came from. You should know that, Edward."
"This has to be some type of joke…I mean, it's true. I made a character that looked a lot like you, but it was for a game…I don't know how you found out about it or how you got into my apartment—" She cut me off before I could continue my statement.
"I came from your computer, Edward! I'm your creation! What is it that you don't understand?" Her hands found their way onto her hips as she stared at me, furrowing her eyebrows in annoyance.
Wasn't she upset a few seconds ago? How did she shift to anger that quickly?
My mouth opened and closed a few times like I was a gagging fish; not unlike all the other times that my mouth failed me at an important time.
"Why are you just standing there? You created me and now you want me to leave. I don't understand. You said that you wanted the girl of your dreams and here I am. What else is there to explain?" She continued, her fingers digging into her hips slightly as if she was directing her energy into them.
"It isn't possible! A person can't be formed from a computer program; that's what I need explained. How could you possibly be the girl I created?" A tidal wave of emotions washed through me. I was furious at this woman because her proclamations were too good to be true. She expected me to believe that she magically leapt out of my computer and was here to be with me.
The thing that I felt most powerfully was shame and embarrassment; how pathetic could it be that she was trying to convince me that she was the woman I had created. The fact that I created a game character out of my own preferences was completely pitiful. I hated that she was throwing it in my face.
"I've had enough of this, damn it! There is no fucking way you're who you say you are. So leave me the hell alone and stop fucking with me. I'm sorry if this makes you cry again, but I'm in no mood to deal with any of this or you. Now could you please leave my apartment?" I demanded while pointing to my door.
I watched the brunette bombshell wrap her arms around herself for a split second before she rounded her shoulders and dropped her arms at her sides. It seemed like she was mentally steeling herself to leave my apartment. Was it really that hard to just step outside?
To my surprise, she didn't grab a purse or a change of clothes. She padded barefoot to my door and walked through without looking back. I fought with my conscience that screamed at me to find out if she needed help. I stood in the same spot, indecisive, for several moments. On the other hand, what type of nut leaves to go outside barefoot and half-naked? How the heck had she managed to get into my apartment then? One thing that I was certain about was that this girl was a complete enigma.
I walked over to my door and looked out into the hallway. The brunette was no longer in my building so, naturally, I sprinted over to the windows that faced the entrance.
She was walking out onto the sidewalk and looked slightly naïve to her surroundings. She stood in the middle of the sidewalk and glanced about; what was she waiting for? Suddenly, she moved forward, almost purposefully, toward the street.
Since it was the summer, one of the block's hydrants were loosened, allowing water to flow and become a temporary sprinkler. Some kids had gathered around the hydrant to relieve the heat by jumping through the jets of water. The only precarious situation that occurred was the proximity of the cars driving down the street from the children. Most of the time the block would be roped off to prevent any accidents, however, recent construction forced the city to keep our street open.
The brunette stood immobile at the curb observing the children leaping through the stream of water. She cocked her head to the side as she watched them play seemingly frozen in place.
Good lord, I hope she isn't into kidnapping children as well as breaking into houses, I thought bitterly. It was bad enough that my apartment was broken into, but
I leaned against the window pane and followed the brunette's gaze; the children squealed in delight as they threw themselves into the water. The cars zipped past them, swerving to avoid the occasional errant child that heedlessly jumped a little too far into the street.
Time seemed to slow down as I forgot about the brunette and watched in shock as a child ran into the street and slipped on their wet flip flops. The little boy was sprawled on the ground howling in pain; my fingers gripped the window frame as the brunette launched herself into the street ignoring the oncoming car that was too close for her to avoid.
The car's tires screeched violently as the driver tried uselessly to prevent the inevitable collision; the brunette reached the boy in time to push him out of the car's path, but she didn't have enough time to move, herself.
My eyes widened in horror when I heard the sickening thud of the car colliding with her body; before anything else could happen, I had started running toward the stairs.
Author's Note:
Thank you for making it down to the bottom! Part 2 is in the works, so let me know what you think so far.
N.E.