Too Much Love Will Kill You
Anti-Litigation Charm :
Nothing belongs to me in the HP universe, all is JKR, be she blessed for her wonderful ideas and universe – except original characters and the plot. I wished Severus would be mine, but… *sigh*
No need to sue me then, I make no money, so no money owed. The present disclaimer charm applies to all subsequent chapters. I won't repeat them.
Author's Notes :
Set in an alternate HP universe and timeline. This time, without the Golden Trio and a few other kids close to them. LOL : a HP story without HP ! That was fun. Yet, there are other regulars I use here – you'll recognize them.
This story is focused on Severus Snape, by far my favorite character in the HP series. As the timeline is completely alternate, do not expect any compliance with the books, though certain events from the actual story are alluded to or used in the plot. I also love to insert a few lines said by the characters either in the books or in the movies every now and then. I trust you fans will recognize them.
I wrote this fanfic with the image of Alan Rickman's fabulous portrayal of Severus in my mind. OMG, he's just so perfect in that part and I like him to pieces as an actor. Especially in the Half-Blood Prince movie : he is simply gorgeous. However, you may imagine any other image you have of him !
Same thing for Alastor Moody : I wrote with Brendan Gleeson's portrayal of him in mind – I found it both funny and disturbing at the same time. The rest of the cast in the movies are so perfect in my opinion that I used them to picture their characters in my mind and writing. But here too, you are free to unleash your imagination as you wish !
For Draco and Sirius fans, you won't be forgotten. These two will show up in this story. I will describe them as they look in the movies - Tom Felton and Gary Oldman, respectively, are just so great in these parts !
For all those out of there who are geniuses and wizards with drawing and photo-manip, please feel free to use my work to spur your imagination - just provide me with the link so that I can admire your work and leave a review for it.
Please rate and review – that feeds the muses. Feel free to give your advice, what you loved or not, how you imagine how the plot is to evolve, if you cried or laughed or cringed. Anything you wish. I also slid a few references to other works of Alan Rickman in the text every now and then. The fans that review to quote these references will earn themselves some chocolate cookies. No detentions with Severus to be expected, sorry, these are mine !
Summary :
Set in AU. Voldemort is after a young blind girl endowed with special magical powers. Severus is on a mission to protect her – whatever the cost to his soul. Will he gain love and redemption in the process ?
Adult themes and content, you've been warned. Not rated M for nothing. Not for the faint of heart. There are adult themes addressed here, like violence, non-consensual sex, torture. If these issues make you uncomfortable, you may leave any time, no problem.
But if you are as brave as a Gryffindor (or a Slytherin, yes, yes !), this is the place to be !
Now for the story !
1 – An opportunity for redemption
"Severus, I need your help," Albus Dumbledore said after serving himself a cup of tea. The old Headmaster watched his Potions Master carefully. Professor Snape was sitting opposite to him, a cup of tea in his hand too. When the Headmaster had this tone, something was up. To no good.
"My help." That was more a statement than a question.
"Yes. Do you remember one of your students, that had become blind last year ? A fifth-year student."
Severus Snape lowered his eyes in thoughts. Oh yes, he remembered. A young girl aged 16 then, that had suddenly become blind, without reason. Well, Severus knew there was a reason – and of course Dumbledore did too. Even in the magical world, things did not happen without a reason.
"I remember her. Miss Lorena Nottingham."
"Excellent. I was sure you did. She was one of your Slytherins, after all."
"What's happening this time ?" Severus let the remark slide on him. Yes, she was a student of his House and he had been closely involved in the story.
"She's still blind but she wants to resume her schooling at Hogwarts," Dumbledore said calmly while putting a piece of lemon in his tea.
Severus watched the Headmaster with a look both surprised and poised.
"She wants to… to come back here ? While being blind ?" He was considering if that would be possible. Hogwarts was a big place and some courses would be particularly difficult to follow for a blind person. Above all his Potions class.
"She has been sent to St. Mungo where her condition had not improved at all. Well, I'm not surprised as I suspect the reason behind her blindness. Then she joined an institution for the blind associated with St. Mungo. There she learned how to cope with her new situation, that is, being able to live in our environment as a blind person." He paused. "You know, she had always wanted to become a medi-witch."
"I know about that," Severus said.
"She was one of our most talented students, you know that too."
Severus glanced at Dumbledore. He had the feeling that this was not the only reason. Of course, a talented student deserved to be helped in his own opinion. Especially that student, one of the best he had ever seen in his Potions class. Besides, she was a Slytherin, like he had been too. Once a Slytherin, always a Slytherin, he thought.
He was right. There was something else. "There's another reason for us to welcome her here again, Severus."
"And that is ?"
"She needs protection."
"Protection from what ?" Severus asked. He knew it, something was up. Dumbledore remained silent, his steely blue gaze set on his Potions Master. The younger wizard's lips opened a bit, as if struck by truth. "From whom ?"
Dumbledore remained silent for a few seconds. "Lord Voldemort, Severus," he said with a low voice.
Severus locked his ebony gaze on him, concern on his features. For sure the girl had powers. She was a very talented witch. That was just an understatement.
"You know her abilities, Severus. You know what she can do. Voldemort is interested in her powers. Do you ever wonder why she had become blind ?"
"I must admit I had thought about it a lot, Albus. But I don't have your… gift to guess."
The old Headmaster smiled. "Voldemort cast a spell on her last time he encountered our students in the circumstances you know, a bit more than one year ago. She managed to escape relatively unscathed because he wanted her alive. As he could not get her then, he thought he could do so otherwise by removing her from Hogwarts. I must confess he partially succeeded as she had to leave us to seek treatment and help from another institution. He thwarted her training here, hoping to get to her again and train her himself. She would have been lost for us for good this time, providing him with a powerful channel for his own ambitions. He wanted her to be in a better condition to proceed with the second part of his plan : to have her as one of his Death-Eaters and enjoy her capabilities. This part is about to be finalized. That's where we have to do something. In fact, we have to do everything in our power so that this part never finalize."
He took a sip from his cup of tea. Severus watched him carefully, thinking about his colleague's explanation. He had come to a somewhat similar conclusion deep down himself through his own experience as a spy on the Dark Lord for Dumbledore. The girl had not been left alive just out of Voldemort's goodness heart.
"I must say that I owe most of the explanation thanks to your own report, Severus. I suppose you had the same thinking then too."
"Yes, more of less. It's just that some parts didn't fit into my mind."
"That's because you thought that the girl may not have sufficient powers then."
The remark was not supposed to be scathing for Severus. But he resented it anyway. He should have been able to see that ! She was one of his top students. No, he had seen it. He had just been too stubborn to admit it.
"True she uses a very particular form of magic. One that escapes our comprehension sometimes." He paused. "Remember this, Severus. It's very important for the rest of Voldemort's plans : she's a Slytherin."
The Potions Master sighed. "I've always wondered why she had been sorted into my House. Really, she doesn't fit pretty much like a true Slytherin." The girl had always displayed other Houses' qualities – courage and independence like a Gryffindor, creativity and a craving for knowledge like a Ravenclaw, humility and friendliness like a Hufflepuff. For these reasons, she was most likely the only Slytherin to get along so well with other students from the three other Houses.
Dumbledore smiled at the prejudice thus displayed – by a Slytherin himself. "Ah, that's what you think, Severus. She may surprise you." He knew that some of Professor Snape's qualities were Gryffindor in essence – like courage for example. But he knew better than saying so as it would really hurt his colleague and friend. "Now you know. The Sorting Hat knew in anticipation that a Slytherin student of her potency would be much less harmed by Voldemort as long as he needed her powers. I must confess I didn't understand it either at the beginning. She has not much of a Slytherin, except for her resourcefulness. She's not even a pure-blood."
"I'm not either," Severus replied a bit hastily. "And true that she has more something of a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw in terms of qualities," he ended with a bit of sarcasm in his tone.
Dumbledore noted the scorn but preferred to ignore it. "Yes, true. Very true. I remember that the Sorting Hat had hesitated before sorting her out into Slytherin. That was the first time I had seen it hesitating that way. She could have fit into any House actually. But I suspect that the Sorting Hat had had a guess of the future then and preferred to have her protected as a Slytherin."
"Being a Slytherin doesn't mean protection from the Dark Side, Albus. You know it and I know it too," Severus said, a touch of sadness in his voice. He cringed inside. My soul, Dumbledore ? What about my soul ?
This time, the old Headmaster felt it and he looked at the Potions Master with a compassionate gaze. "Yes, I know that. It didn't protect your soul," he said with a true fondness mixed with genuine sadness. "But this time, you have an opportunity to redeem it."
It was said and Severus Snape knew that he had not been left a choice in this mission. As usual. Well, the little left of his own soul did not leave him a choice. He had chosen to become a Death-Eater and follow Voldemort's ways when he was still a young man. A foolish young man. It had cost him a lot, his heart, his peace of mind, his soul. Not his life yet but he knew that this would be the next thing the Dark Lord would take away from him. Well, that was what he thought then.
But this time, he had a choice to redeem himself. It had begun with the spying mission Dumbledore had assigned to him. It could go on with protecting that girl.
"I accept. But… why me, Albus ?" Severus asked anyway. "Why me to protect her ?"
Dumbledore had a frank grin this time. "Oh, for many reasons. I'd state two of them only : you need redemption. Then you're not only my Potions Master, but also the best expert I ever had here in the Dark Arts." He paused with a thoughtful glance at the younger wizard. "I would add a third reason, Severus, the most important in my sight : I trust you. More than anybody else. I would entrust my own life with you – and you know it."
Both men exchanged a glance that said it all. Albus Dumbledore was not Severus' best friend. He was the only one the Potions Master had. The only person to grant him his trust and his friendship.
"There's another reason, Severus, and you know it. You were the one who reported it to me : Voldemort wants that girl because he believes he can get her powers even more if he gets her virginity through a specific ritual. This shall not happen, at any cost."
Severus smirked at him. "I don't even know if he can do that. Physically, I mean."
"That's a chance I do not prefer to run, Severus. If he thinks he can perform that ritual, that means he can and will do it. We cannot afford to assume he cannot." He paused. "You have to ensure that this doesn't happen. By any means."
Severus wondered for a second or two… After all, there was a way to ensure this never happened. But it involved the girl's consent. And his own. She was just a young girl after all.
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