Summary: Zack is constantly outshined by his brother. His self-esteem further brought down by the comparisons made between him and his twin, what if he finally can't take it anymore?
Disclaimer: I do not own the Suite Life series nor any of its characters.
~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~
"Hey Zack! Cody!" Max called as she ran excitedly towards them.
"Hi Max," the twins said together.
"We're getting our report cards today." She grinned brightly at Cody but it dimmed a bit when she shifted her gaze to Zack. She offered him a sympathetic look. "Don't worry, Zack. You can always try harder next time."
Zack frowned. He had been studying really hard for the tests this time. Surely he did well too. "I'm sure I did well too," he muttered irritably.
Max laughed. "Course you did, Zack. Like you even studied."
Cody sensed the change in his brother's mood the moment he noticed how Zack slightly lowered his chin. His brother always did that when he was upset.
"You don't know that!" Zack retorted angrily.
And defiant too, Cody added mentally to himself. Deciding to break the fight that was surely bound to happen, Cody patted Zack's shoulder and was mildly surprised to feel it tense beneath his fingers. He frowned. Zack never did that. Not unless he was angry with him.
He cleared his throat. "The bell is about to ring. We should get to class." He stared pointedly at Max.
"Umm, yeah. I'll be going first." Max shot Zack a weird look before quickly walking away.
Cody glanced at his brother. "So," he began tentatively, "what happened back there?"
"Nothing important," Zack mumbled.
"Zack..."
"It's nothing."
"Okay.." Cody shrugged and they started off for class.
Walking in silence was never much a Martin trait. Zack hated the silence. He was always talking about one thing or another with his brother, and as for Cody, he was always the one who listened. But the conversation was never one-sided. Cody did talk, just not as a lot as Zack. But for the first time in a long while, Zack kept his lips firmly shut, a frown etched on his forehead.
"Cody?"
"What is it?" Cody turned his head towards his brother.
"Do you think I could get a decent grade this time, Cody?" he mumbled.
Cody stopped in his tracks in surprise. Oh. Maybe this was what had upset Zack in the first place. It took him less than seconds to take in his brother's barely quivering lip, and how his arms were crossed over his chest, or how Zack refused to meet his little brother's eye.
"I know you can, Zack!" He started enthusiastically, hoping to bring up his brother's mood. "I believe in you! You're really smart, and when you try, you can do anything. I know you can."
Zack looked up, his eyes widening. He had expected Cody to scoff at him and brush it off as insignificant. "You really think so?"
Cody nodded vigorously. "Yeah, I do."
There was a slight upturn at the corners of his lips, but it stilled. "How do you know?"
This time, Cody did roll his eyes. "I'm your twin. Of course I know."
Not knowing whether to feel offended or happy, Zack settled for content when the younger Martin slung his arm over his shoulder. Perhaps…perhaps all his efforts will pay off after all.
~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~
[After school]
Zack entered then Tipton Hotel lobby with a spring in his step. He couldn't wait to show his mum his report card. He hadn't wanted Cody there when he showed his report card to their mother, and he didn't feel bad. It wasn't that he was jealous. He never was, and couldn't fathom why everyone thought he was envious of his brother's intelligence.
But for once… Even if it was just this once, he wanted his mother to be proud of him. Just him and not Cody. He wanted her to think about how hard he had worked, and just for her to hug him and tell him that he was smart too.
"Zack Martin! Stop right there!"
Zack stopped in his tracks, recognizing the hotel manager's voice. A smile graced his features as he swiveled to face Mr Moseby. "What is it, Mr Moseby?" he asked politely.
Mr Moseby's eyes narrowed dangerously. "Don't you what-is-it me. How many times have I told you not to play in the lobby?" he said exasperatedly. "If this happens again, I will have to kick you and your family out, Zack."
Zack furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "What are you talking about? I just got back from school."
"Yes, I know," the older man muttered disdainfully. "Which is why you weren't yelled at this morning by an aggrieved guest who had slipped on your skateboard." He held the offensive board in his hand as he stared accusingly at the twelve year old.
Zack gaped. "But it wasn't me!"
"Well, if it wasn't you, who else could it be? Your brother?" Mr Moseby stared at Zack plaintively.
"Well, it could be-"
At that moment, Carey walked in and she frowned. Sighing, she forced her tone to be neutral. "Okay Zack, what did you do?" She crossed her arms and stared down at her son sternly.
"I didn't do anything!" he insisted. The frown pulled at his face. They didn't believe him! Zack thought angrily. He seriously didn't do anything and here they were, refusing to listen to him! He could feel the frustration build inside of him. Sure he was often punished for being a troublemaker, but only when he deserved it.
He tilted his head to look pleadingly at his mother. "Mum! Don't you believe me?"
"I would. But you never give me a reason to actually believe you, Zack." She turned to Mr Moseby. "Well?" she prompted.
"Your son left his skateboard in the lobby again. Must someone die before he actually learns?"
Carey brought a hand up to her forehead. "Oh I'm so sorry, Mr Moseby." She glared at Zack. "Say you're sorry."
"But I didn't do it!" Zack repeated in frustration. He looked from Carey to Mr Moseby wildly. Why won't they believe him? "And that's not my skateboard!"
"Enough, Zack!" Carey snapped. "Say you're sorry."
"But I-"
"Fine, have it your way then. You will stay in your room until you realize your mistake and are willing to apologize to Mr Moseby. And no dinner," she ordered sternly.
Mr Moseby sighed. "Yes, punish him. A young brat like him needs to learn. And since this skateboard is apparently not yours, I'd be sure to keep it out of your range." He turned on his heels and walked away.
"Now go to your room, Zack. I have rehearsal to do." Carey then too walked away, though she didn't spare her son another glance.
"But…" Zack stared after her in shock. "But I really didn't do anything," he whispered.
~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~
Cody knocked on the bedroom door. When Zack didn't respond, he started to grow worried. He had heard from Maddie that his brother was grounded again. But she hadn't told him what Zack had done to get it.
"Zack? You there?" he called again. He waited impatiently and sighed when his brother didn't deign to reply.
He leaned back against the door contemplatively. Zack had been behaving differently that day. Like something bothered him. Cody had thought that it was about the report card. But hadn't they settled it already?
He let out a loud exhale. He knew something was wrong moment he stepped into the suite. Usually Zack would just lounge on the couch and ignore their mother's orders. Until she came home, that is. But that he actually stayed in the bedroom…and locked the door. Cody frowned. Something was definitely off.
Suddenly, the bedroom door opened at the same time as the front door.
Zack stared in surprise as his brother fell back onto him. He held onto Cody's shoulder, absent-mindedly making sure his head was supported by his knee. Had Cody been leaning against the door?
"What is going on?"
Zack froze at the sound of his mother's voice. He looked up and met her icy cold glare.
"Mu-"
"Zack…" she began warningly. "How many times must I tell you not to bully your brother? You're twins. You're not supposed to fight all the time."
Something in Zack lurched and sank. He could feel his lip trembling again. Although he knew that it wasn't worth it, that he'd probably be the 'culprit' again, he tried anyway. "But Mum, I-"
"Didn't do it?" Carey cut in, raising an eyebrow at him unamusedly. When Zack fell silent, she shook her head in resignation. She took hold of her younger son's arms and pulled him up. "Look Zack. I don't know what to do about you anymore." She crossed her arms and fixed a steady gaze on him. "You don't study; you push your brother around. You pull pranks on the hotel guests like this is your home."
Cody watched hurt cross his brother's features and inwardly cringed. When Zack lowered his head, and this time Cody just knew that his brother was really upset, he couldn't take it anymore. "Mum," he spoke up. "But Zack didn't do anything. I was leaning against the door and he opened it. He really didn't know."
Carey paused and stared at her younger son warmly. "Look, honey. I know you care about your brother. But he's always pushing you around because you're too nice to him."
"But-"
Carey frowned at Cody warningly and he fell silent. Carey shifted her attention to her older son again and couldn't help but sigh. "Can you please just understand that it's hard enough to work here without you pulling off your jokes? It's not always about you, Zack. Do you understand?" she said sternly.
This time, Zack could feel a strange sensation prickle at his eyes. "Yes," he answered in a small voice.
"Good. Now go to your room." Carey watched as a now deflated Zack trudged back to his room silently. For once, he didn't argue as much. Perhaps he was finally learning. Carey hated to make her sons upset, but it was necessary to discipline them too.
"Wait!" Cody paused when his family looked at him questioningly. "Uhh, we got our report cards today!" he exclaimed excitedly. He watched as his twin smiled softly and he grinned to himself. He knew Zack had wanted to show Mum his report card. He had done so well in the little time he actually studied! Cody was really proud of him.
Carey smiled fondly again at Cody as he took out his report card and handed it to her. "Straight A's again," she said proudly. She pulled Cody towards her and gave him a quick hug. "I'm so proud of you, Cody."
He beamed. "Thanks!"
"And Zack?" She gazed at her oldest again. Before he could speak, she went on, "If Cody received his, it means you did too. Now don't give me any excuses and show me yours."
For the first time that both Carey and Cody could remember, Zack silently took out his and gave it to her. Cody's insides clenched when he saw how his brother refused to look up, and how hunched his shoulders were. He looked to his mother hopefully. Please, please say it's good.
"Zack…" Carey began. "Zack, look at me."
Cody watched as his twin slow raised his head to look at their mother. Carey hadn't spoken yet, but perhaps it was the look in her eyes, or maybe it was the slight shaking of the head that killed the glimmer of hope in his brother's eyes. Oh…
"Zack, straight B's. It's much better than D's, but…It's not good enough. You have to try harder."
Zack nodded mutely.
"Can't you be more like your brother?" Carey shook her head again. "Okay, just go to your room."
The bedroom door shut itself again. But what the mother failed to see or hear were the silent tears that escaped on the other side.
~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~ x ~
That night, Zack could barely sleep. He couldn't forget how disappointed his Mum was about his results. He had gotten all B's. Wasn't that enough? An image of how she praised Cody flashed before his mind's eye.
Was he really jealous of his brother? But he wasn't.
He didn't think he was.
You play pranks on the hotel guests like this is your home.
But…it was his home. Is. He felt his insides clench. He loved life at the Tipton. It was home to him. Didn't his mother want him anymore? Maybe he was only there because he was her son, and not because she cared about him.
I don't know what to do about you anymore. It's not always about you, Zack.
Zack's lower lip jutted out when he remembered what his mother had said. Maybe…No, it couldn't be. Of course she wants him.
Right?
But you never actually give me a reason to believe you…
A single tear escaped his right eye. Mum…I'm sorry for being such a letdown.
With that, something broke inside of him, and he started to heave deep, heavy sobs. He tried his best to keep quiet; he never wanted Cody to see him this way. The last thing he wanted was his brother to think that he was just a big baby crying over a trivial thing.
His heart beating fast, Zack suddenly found it hard to breathe. The place was so suffocating. He hated being compared to his brother all the time. And it didn't help that Cody was less than three meters away from him. Choking back a sob, he stumbled to his feet.
He needed out.
He had to get out of the room.
Heck, the suite. The hotel. He thought desperately. Maybe I can think clearly with the fresh air.
Rushing out of the suite, Zack Martin forgot two things. One, it was two in the morning and he hadn't brought a coat. Two, his family – Carey and Cody – would be worried sick to death, but he didn't think they'd care.
[To be continued]
I'm not really satisfied with this piece. Something seems to be missing. I know it's kind of boring but I had to write it out. I'm sure a lot of people are familiar with that feeling. :)
I'd like to know if this story is worth continuing, so please Review!