This is my first Leverage fic and I have been working on it for over a month. It is probably screamingly out of character but I tried not to be…Enjoy.
Note: If you like Tera you might not want to read this.
Disclaimer: It is not mine.
Spoilers: The Lost Heir Job
Elliot and Hardison were sitting in Nate's apartment staring at the currently blank screens on the wall in front of them. Suddenly Parker appeared in the room and sat down on the couch between the two men.
"We have a problem," she told them.
"Really," Elliot said sarcastically.
"I have a plan," Parker told them quietly.
Hardison and Elliot both turned to look at her, "What are you suggesting?"
"Well, we need to get rid of her," Parker said hissing the last word.
"What do you suggest?" Elliot asked after a moment of hesitation.
"Wait you are actually listening to one of Parker's plans?" Hardison asked Elliot.
"If it gets rid of Tara I would listen to one of your plans," Elliot told him.
Hardison knew that arguing with Elliot and Parker would get him nowhere. They were too dead set on removing Tara. "What did she ever do to you," Hardison asked him.
"She came into our team. She lied to us, and she used us," Elliot vented. "Then she demands pay. We don't take pay. We do this because it is what we do."
"She called me cute," Parker hissed.
"Either way," Elliot concluded, "she is not Sophie."
"So what are you planning?" Hardison asked hesitantly.
"Just a little bit of fun with the new girl," Parker said as she looked at Elliot and they both started to grin deviously.
"Nate can't know about this," Eliot said quietly as Parker nodded happily.
"Well I guess you don't need me," Hardison said getting up of the couch in an attempt to get out of a plan that would surly get them in trouble.
"Not so fast," Elliot told him.
"We need you to hack Tara's past and find out any weaknesses that can be exploited," Parker told him with a sweet smile.
LEVERAGELEVERAGELEVERAGE
"Tara was a rich child. She went to the best schools in Europe. After she graduated collage she disappeared. She traces electronically to several online accounts, but there isn't anything that you," Elliot glared at him and Hardison rolled his eye, "we can work with."
"Then we go with what we know," Parker said grinning, "conning."
"Good thinking," Elliot said thoughtfully. They all sat in thought for several minutes before Hardison produced a piece of paper and a pen.
"We should write a plan on this," he said causing Elliot to take roll his eyes, but he took the pen anyway.
"We have opportunity because she is staying in Nate's apartment with us," Elliot said glancing at Parker who had used to share one of the two spare bedrooms with Sophie and was not happy about having to share with Tara. "We have motive…" Elliot said his voice drifting off as he glanced at his partners in crime. "Now we just need method," he concluded.
Taking the paper Elliot wrote the word 'method' at the top then flipped it over and wrote 'shopping list.' Under the word 'shopping list' he wrote: eggs, milk, and Lucky Charms. Then he flipped it over and set the pen down. "We need several options," Elliot reminded them.
Parker grinned, "Pink hair-dye in her bottle of shampoo."
Elliot shook his head slightly, "Green." Parker nodded and he added it to the list.
"She has a pretty sweet ride," Hardison remarked almost dreamily, "we could do something to that." Elliot added to the list.
"Hey Hardison," Elliot asked, "Do you still have those extra loud speakers?"
"Yes," Hardison replied slowly, "Are you thinking blast music when she is asleep?" Elliot nodded as he wrote it down.
"She is like obsessed with desperate housewives," Parker reminded them, "we could give her one remote that looks like the real one, but one of us keeps the other one and changes the volume around." Elliot grinned even more and wrote it down.
Suddenly they heard footsteps coming toward the apartment. Quickly Elliot flipped over the paper and Parker flipped on the TV. When Nate walked in he saw Hardison sitting in one of the chair watching the episode of CSI that was on. Parker was also watching but she was sprawled across the couch. Elliot was working on the shopping list that Nate had been asking for. Smiling Nate headed up stares to take a shower.
As soon as they heard the water go on they flipped the paper back over. "I think we need one more," Elliot said to no one in particular.
"Beauty sleep," Hardison said suddenly. Elliot's eyebrows shot up and Parker collapsed against Elliot laughing.
"I didn't know you were a fan," Elliot said smirking.
Hardison sighed exasperatedly, "That is not what I meant. We should get a disposable cell phone and put it under her mattress and set the alarm for four in the morning."
Parker had stopped laughing and she and Elliot exchanged a look that made Hardison very worried because it was the look that meant that they were about to do something very underhanded and obnoxious. "Alright," Elliot said as he added the final thing to the list, "we get the supplies together and start the fun tomorrow night."
TWENTY-FOUR HOURS LATER—OPERATION HAIR DYE
"Alright," Parker whispered to the two boys, "I am going to go switch the shampoo and the hair-dye out."
"When you are done," Elliot reminded her, "go straight to bed."
"When she goes to sleep," Parker repeated the plan rolling her eyes, "I get up and switch them back out so she has no proof."
"We can't let Nate catch us or Tara to have any proof that we are behind this," Hardison added.
"I know guys," Parker reminded them as a malicious grin spread across her face, "Now let the games begin."
THE NEXT MORNING
By eight o'clock Tara was the only one who had not woken up yet. Nate was reading the paper and Hardison was working on his computer. Parker and Elliot were sitting on the couch watching another episode of CSI. Suddenly there was a scream from upstairs.
"I think Tara is awake," Elliot remarked to Parker who giggled.
"We need to give her a chance," Nate reminded them, "she is Sophie's friend."
"Do you like her?" Elliot asked him raising one eyebrow.
"She is Sophie's friend," Nate repeated.
"I thought so," Elliot muttered under his breath.
Tara came downstairs several minutes later wearing a pink stripped bathrobe and with her hair wrapped in a towel. She was not happy. " You did this," she said looking accusingly at Parker and Elliot who were still sitting on the couch.
"Did what?" Parker asked doing a very credible concerned look.
"This," Tera spat at them pulling off the hair towel.
"Oh my," Elliot told her in concern, "What happened?"
"I don't know, but I think you do," she said glaring at them.
"Do you have any evidence to prove that Parker and Elliot did it?" Nate asked looking over the paper.
"No," Tara remarked bitterly.
"Any evidence?" Nate asked.
"No," Tara replied, "but they did it."
"Until you have a better reason to suspect them I am going to have to ask that you leave them alone," Nate remarked returning to the paper.
Elliot and Parker exchanged a look behind Tara's back. Nate must really miss Sophie if he was not even going to ask about the green hair.
THAT NIGHT
"Alright Parker did well last night," Elliot said smiling at the thief.
"Now we get to do our own version of 'pimp my ride,'" Hardison said smiling.
Elliot and Parker exchanged a look. "You can call it whatever you want as long as you have the plastic wrap and clay."
"I do," Hardison confirmed.
"Let's roll then," Elliot said clapping his hands together.
"You are starting to sound like Nate," Hardison remarked. Elliot rolled his eyes and followed Parker out of the room. Hardison followed with the clay and plastic wrap.
THE NEXT MORNING
"Nate!" Tara yelled, "They did it again."
"Did what again?" Nate asked her.
"They covered my car in wet clay and plastic wrap," Tara accused looking at Parker and Elliot who were building a house of cards with Hardison.
"Proof?" Nate asked.
"No."
"Any reason to suspect they did it?"
"Look at them," Tara said pointing. Parker was currently doing a victory dance because the card castle had been completed. Elliot was watching her with a small smile. Hardison was reading a magazine from the American Kennel Club.
"I can see how that can make you suspicious," Nate said rolling his eyes.
Tara just glared before heading off upstairs and slamming the door.
THAT NIGHT
Hardison lugged the speakers out the closet in his room and into the room Parker and Tara now shared. He set them up under the head of her bed. Last of all her turned the volume up to its full power and gave Parker the remote.
"Nate could sleep through anything so it doesn't matter how loud this gets," Elliot reminded Parker.
"Oh I know," Parker said grinning evilly.
THE NEXT MORNING
Elliot and Parker were attempting to bake a cake, and Hardison was working in on his computer.
Tara came down the stairs. "Did you not here what they did last night?"
"Why do I think you are about to tell me?" Nate said without looking up from the paper.
"They blasted music all night," Tara once again pointed an accusatory finger at Parker, Elliot, and Hardison.
"That's nice," Nate said not really listening, "what music?"
Tara looked at Nate annoyed, "Nine to Five by Dolly Parton. Stupid Girls by Pink. I'm Just a Kid by Simple Plan. Gives you Hell by the All American Rejects. Bad Reputation by Joan Jett. We are the Young by McFly. I don't know all of them."
"That's nice," Nate said again. Tara glared at him.
THAT AFTERNOON
Parker was sprawled on the couch watching a CSI rerun, when Tara came into the room. She grabbed the remote from Parker's hand and changed the channel. "Hey," Parker said annoyed, "I was watching that."
"Tough," Tara replied, "It's time for Desperate Housewives."
"But it's one of the only episodes with Grissom and Catherine but not Sara," Parker pouted.
"Do I look like I care?" Tara asked turning up the volume.
Parker remained quiet until the first commercial break. "Isn't that your phone ringing?"
"Maybe," Tara responded, "Yell if it comes back."
As soon as Tara was out of sight Parker switched the real remote with the fake one that Hardison had given her. Pulling a blanket off the stack she curled up under it with the real remote in hand. Tara was back several seconds later.
"What did I miss?" she asked sitting down and grabbing the remote.
"A commercial," Parker said not really caring. Suddenly the show came back on and Tara shushed her.
"Oh my gosh this scene has been in the making for like ever," Tara squealed hitting the volume up button on her remote while Parker hit the volume down button on hers.
Tara moved closer to the TV to try and hear it and Parker pressed on the volume up button. Tara jumped backwards and fell over. Parker grinned. This was going to be the best episode of Desperate Housewives ever.
THAT NIGHT
"I got the disposable cell phone," Hardison said holding it up, "I can upload any ring tone that we want on to it.
"Make it 'Who Are You?' by the Who," Parker told him.
"Okay why?" Hardison asked looking from Parker to Elliot.
"It is the CSI theme song and Tara change channels from CSI to Desperate Housewives this afternoon," Elliot explained as Parker nodded.
"That makes sense and it is a pretty loud song," Hardison said, "Hang on." Plugging the cell phone into the computer. He clicked a couple buttons and handed it to Elliot. "You're all set and so is the alarm."
"Excellent," Elliot clapped his hands together, "Parker you can cut a small hole in the side of the mattress and slide this in and she will never be able to get it."
"You might want to tie it to something so you can get it back out," Hardison added. Parker nodded then waved.
"I will see you tomorrow," Parker told the others, "I am going to bed."
THE NEXT MORNING
"That does it," Tara yelled banging her way down the stairs.
"They set an alarm under my bed to start blasting 'Who Are You' at four o'clock in the morning," Tara yelled, "I am leaving." They just watched as she dragged her suitcase to the front door and slammed it behind her.
"If Sophie asks about this," Nate told the others, "I know nothing."
"Understood," Elliot said as the other two nodded.
I don't know if you like it. I had fun writing it and picking the songs and such. Please review but no flames. As I said this is my first Leverage fic.