SPOILERS: None
DISCLAIMER: The 4400 and any associated characters still don't belong to me.
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Diana was dreaming that she was running down the sidewalk and she knew that if she ran fast enough, her body would take flight. Later in the dream, she would come crashing back to earth and Diana would wake up.
The noise of a muffled television program filtered through Diana's sleep hazy mind. The other side of the bed was cold and empty and Diana decided that it must be Tom watching the tv. Her hair had fallen loose from its ponytail and she pushed a few strands behind her ear as she shuffled out of the bedroom and into the living room.
Tom seemed entranced by the flickering light from the tv. A mug of coffee was on the table beside him. He silently acknowledged Diana's presence and rearranged himself on the couch to make room for her. She leaned against his warm body and laid her head on his chest, listening to his steady heartbeat while remembering what it felt like to crash to the ground.
"I had that dream again." Diana said after a while. She felt Tom nod and soothing rumbles vibrated against her ear. "I think that I flew for about ten minutes."
The dreams had started a few weeks ago, just after she and Tom had started sleeping together. Diana sometimes wondered if the two were connected and then somehow, dreaming about flying and sleeping with her partner made all the sense in the world. If Tom was the flying, she was afraid of what the crash would be.
Tom had dreams as well. Diana knew this but he wouldn't talk about them. She didn't think his dreams were about flying but instead, about fire and Kyle. It was one of those dreams that had brought him to the couch.
The television was on an old black and white movie, the characters dancing through a town square. Diana leaned over Tom, reaching for the remote but instead came up with his mug of coffee. She put the cup to her lips and tasted the bittersweet liquid. It was cold and she wondered how long he'd been out here.
"I made it about two hours ago." Tom said, in answer to her silent question.
Two hours ago it was midnight. Sleeping together probably wasn't the right word for what she and Tom were doing. The only sleep seemed to come from her side of the relationship. "Come back to bed." Diana said softly.
"You go," Tom said. "I'll be there in a bit."
The next morning, when Diana woke up, the other side of the bed was still empty.
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The rain was falling in a never-ending drizzle. Somewhere in the distance, a foghorn's mournful call perfectly matched Diana's mood. Tom was holding an umbrella over both of them but as he leaned forward, the umbrella went with him and Diana felt the rain on her face. A small bouquet of flowers landed at their feet, the stems limp from the heat of Tom's hand.
"Did you want to get some coffee?" Tom asked after a moment.
Diana was beginning to wonder if their entire relationship was built around coffee but nodded because anything was better than being here in the rain. Her feet squelched on the soggy ground as she followed Tom back to the car. He appeared to have forgotten that they were sharing the only umbrella.
Letting Tom drive in his current state probably wasn't the best idea but she had relented earlier after a short argument. The argument consisted of a raised eyebrow on her part and a grim look from Tom. She had handed over the keys and climbed into the passenger's seat. She tried again to give him a significant look but he was more interested in adjusting the car's defrost setting than looking at her.
"Did you sleep at all last night?" Diana tried after they had been driving for a few moments.
"I caught a few between the Midnight Special infomercial and Hip-Hop Abs."
Diana knew he was lying. The rain had turned from a drizzle into a downpour and sheets of it washed across the windshield. Through the wipers, she saw the light turn from green to yellow. They crossed the intersection on the red.
"I wish you would talk to me."
Tom turned on the radio and they listened to a weather report. Cloudy, with a chance of rain. "Did you say something?" Tom asked.
He had mastered this years ago. "No," Diana said. "I didn't."
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The coffee house was small and smelled like a curious mixture of coffee and wet dog. Diana winced as her chair scraped against the wood floor but decided that it was still better than the ubiquitous Starbucks. She draped her jacket over the chair beside her and waited for Tom to join her. He arrived a minute later with a newspaper in hand.
The newspaper was just a prop. He didn't read it, Diana knew but kept it on the table so they wouldn't have to talk. She let him go through the motions of flipping pages until he reached the end. Now he would stare at the back page for a while, as though the furniture store advertisement held the key to all the secrets of the world.
"I have to pick Maia up from Lauren's house at two." Diana made a show of lifting her sleeve to check her watch.
Tom looked up from the paper. "Hmmm?"
"It's one-thirty and I need to pick Maia up at two."
"Mmm." Tom nodded.
They gathered their coats, Tom put the paper back on the counter and they left. Outside, the rain had continued to fall and the parking lot was a river.
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Diana hurried up the concrete path to Lauren's house. As she ducked under the overhang, she pushed wet hair from her face and rang the doorbell. In the driveway, the car sat idling. Tom was listening to the weather report again.
"Diana." Lauren's mom answered the door. "Maia's just getting her things together."
"Thank you for having her," Diana said. "I think it's good for her to get out of the apartment."
Lauren's mom smiled. "She's no trouble. She and Lauren built a fort from the couch cushions and some old sheets last night. They slept it in but I'm sure that Maia will tell you all about it."
Diana chucked. "I'm sure she will."
"How's Tom doing?"
"Oh, you know." Diana said. "He'll be fine." The lie seemed to hang in the air.
"Hey Mom!" Maia appeared at the door.
"Put your coat on, sweetie. It's pouring rain!" Diana picked up Maia's bag and slung it over her shoulder. Lauren was sitting at the top of the steps, watching her friend leave. Diana waved at her and Lauren offered a shy wave back.
"Thanks again," Diana said. Lauren's mom nodded and smiled and then shut the door.
"Did you have a nice time?" Diana asked.
Maia's hooded head nodded emphatically. "We built a fort to sleep in!"
Diana knocked on the trunk and a moment later, heard the lock release. She threw Maia's backpack in and shut the hatch. "A fort?"
"Mmmhmmm," Maia said. "With couch cushions and sheets. Do you think that when Lauren sleeps over next time, we could do that?"
"I don't see why not." Diana replied.
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Tom's toothbrush had moved in a week ago, along with his razor and a pile of clothes. Diana spent the rest of the rainy afternoon doing the laundry and folded Tom's boxers along with her shirts and Maia's pants.
Maia was doing her homework at the table and Tom was sitting across from her, looking more confused than anything. He looked up as she entered the kitchen and seemed almost relieved by her presence. "Mom, how do you spell 'indefinitely'?" Maia asked, breaking the silence.
As Diana tried to picture the word and spell it, Tom stood up and disappeared into the bathroom.
"He's not happy." Maia said. She made a few more notes on her paper and then set her pencil down.
"I know, sweetie." Diana touched her daughter's hair. "But he'll get better."
In the bathroom, Tom had turned on the shower. Maia seemed satisfied with Diana's response and picked her pencil back up. Diana watched her for a moment before leaving.
The bathroom door was unlocked, so Diana pushed it open and stepped in the warm room. She shut the door behind her and locked it. Tom's clothes were in a pile on the floor and he was standing still in the shower Diana shed her shirt and pants, dropping them on top of Tom's and stepped into the shower beside him. The water was hotter than she would have liked and Diana winced as it washed over her, turning her skin pink. She pressed herself against Tom and he held her, pulling her body tight to his.
"I just miss him." Tom said, his words tickling her ear.
"I know." Diana ran a hand down Tom's back, water moving against muscle. "It's okay."
Tom turned his head and pressed his lips to hers. His hands moved, fingers trailing down her sides to cup her bottom.
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In her dream, Diana ran down the sidewalk. The cracks became blurs and she felt her feet leave the ground. The houses below grew smaller as she climbed higher into the air. She was soaring now, high above Seattle and then with a jolt, she awoke.
"Tom?" He was still beside her and Diana knew instantly why she had woken up before the crash. She fumbled on the bedside table for the light, blinking as the darkness vanished. Tom was dreaming and in his dream, he was crying. Diana put a hand on his shoulder and gently shook him. "Tom!"
With a start, Tom opened his eyes. "Diana?" His voice was hoarse and he wiped a hand across his wet face.
"I'm here." Diana whispered. She hugged him and willed him to talk. "You were dreaming." She wondered if he had seen the fire and Kyle.
"Was I? I don't remember that." Tom said. And the barrier was back up. A few seconds and then, "I'm going to the couch, I don't want to keep you up."
A few minutes later, the television was on and Diana fought back tears.
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"In your professional opinion, Agent Skouris, is Agent Tom Baldwin fit to return to work?" Diana pressed her thumb into her thigh.
"Yes, sir." Another lie hung over Diana's head and threatened to block her view.
"And in your personal opinion?"
Limp flowers on the wet grave, Tom in the shower, crying in bed. "Yes, sir."
"Then it's settled. Tell your partner that we expect him here at nine sharp tomorrow morning."
"Yes, sir."
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"Mom, can I join band next year at school?" Maia was looking at Diana with a hopeful expression on her face.
"Band?"
"Uh huh, I want to play the flute."
Diana glanced at Tom who was picking at his spaghetti. "We'll talk about it later, okay, Maia?"
"Fine." Maia put her fork down. "Can I be excused?"
Diana nodded. "Clear your place, please."
Maia clattered her dishes into the sink and then with a slam, closed her bedroom door. Diana squeezed her eyes shut and tried to will away the headache that was forming. "You don't have to go back tomorrow if you're not ready." she said to Tom. "We can tell them that you need a few more days."
"Diana, I'm fine. I think that going back to work is exactly what I need." Diana tried to read Tom's face but he had closed himself off again. "I've already brought myself up to speed on the case that you have."
"That's great," Diana said. "Great."
"Did you have that dream again last night?" Tom asked.
"No." Diana threw the lie at Tom and it seemed to bounce right off his chest.
"Oh." he said.
Maybe this was the crash.
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Another silent argument had been lost and Diana was in the passenger's seat again. The nights on the couch with coffee were written all over Tom's face and he gripped the steering wheel as the car fishtailed around a corner. Diana had to bite her lip to keep from telling Tom to slow down again.
"It's good to have you back." Diana tried a different tact, as though she hadn't seen him every day for the last three weeks since the funeral. In her mind, she heard Tom say the words, 'It's good to be back!' and smile at her but the real Tom just kept driving.
Not for the first time, Diana felt a pang of regret about what had happened the night of the funeral.. Maybe if she hadn't let Tom's hands undo the buttons of her blouse and had pushed him away, she could have helped him.
The screech of tires made Diana look up and what she saw next made her scream. Then, a few seconds later, everything was dark.
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Diana was flying again, high over Seattle. If she squinted, she could see the people on the ground, going about their day-to-day lives. Someone was tending to their garden, cutting the flowers and pulling the weeds. Someone else was running for the bus. On a street corner, she spotted Maia, a small instrument case in her hand.
She waited patiently for the crash but Diana continued flying. If she swooped down low, a gust of wind picked her up again. Diana tried to call out to Maia but her voice was lost on the wind. Tom had sent her flying, the crash had already happened.