This fanfic is dedicated to ThisDayWillPass, as she is one of the coolset friends I ever had and she loves JohnLock as much as I do. Hope you have a brilliant birthday Kosha! And please don't kill me if this makes you cry!
Wherever you will go
It had been six months since he had faked his dead. And Sherlock was sad. The day was John's birthday. He sat alone in the café, wearing a hoodie and jeans to avoid anyone recognizing him. He still believed that if he exposed himself, something might happen to his friends, especially John. Even if Jim Moriarty had killed himself, Sherlock still believed that the coast was not clear. He could see all kinds of people in the café – youngsters, families, and lonely people like him. He watched as the couples talked animatedly over tea. He missed John. His constant companion, his best friend, the one who still put up with him in spite of his behavior.
Suddenly, the song in the background changed. The song that was going on now was Charlene Soraia's 'Wherever you will go'
So lately, been wondering
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
John's face flashed before him. All those happy memories. He could now see John sitting on the sofa, sipping the tea Mrs. Hudson must have made for him, a midst the gifts he must have got for his birthday. He could feel his pain. He pictured Mrs. Hudson giving him the tea, trying to cheer him up and then leaving the room dejected. John's face, sullen with sadness. How he wished he could be there to brighten it!
If a great wave shall fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own
Sherlock had been outside the window of their window millions of times, just to catch a glimpse of John. He could sometimes see John standing near the window, searching for Sherlock. Sherlock was very careful not to let him know that he was alive. He sometimes saw him coming back from his therapist. Sherlock felt guilty. He knew it was his fault, but he knew he could do nothing about it, until everything was fine
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go, wherever you will go
Sherlock took a sip of his tea. He felt like going back to the flat. He wanted to wrap his arms around John and tell him how much he loved him. He wanted to tell him that he would always be there for him.
And maybe, I'll find out
A way to make it back some day
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
Sherlock wanted to be the one to guide him through that phase, but then he realized he was the reason for John's sadness. John's existence in his life had made his 'boring' life better. He finally had found someone. They were back to square one. John being sad and depressed, except Sherlock couldn't be there to bring him out of it.
If a great wave shall fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you
He just hoped Mycroft must have given him the flowers. The only people who knew about Sherlock being alive were Molly and Mycroft. He had told Mycroft to give John some flowers on his behalf for his birthday. He knew that Mycroft was a busy man, but he too was a friend of John's. Plus, Mycroft couldn't say no to Sherlock. However, Mycroft had been careful enough not to mention that the flowers were from Sherlock. After all, Mycroft was his only link to John
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go, wherever you will go
Run away with my heart
Run away with my hope
Run away with my love
Sherlock remembered the first time he met John. That day was etched in his mind. He still couldn't get over the fact that John had shot the cabbie to protect him, even if it was they didn't know each other much. John had filled the emptiness in his life. And now he really felt lost without him
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart, in your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time
His eyes were filled with tears. John Watson, the man who managed to make him cry, Sherlock thought to himself as he took another of his tea, which had now become cold. But then, John was also the man who had taught him the meaning of love. And Sherlock knew that John would never 'delete' him from his brain. He loved him more than anything in the world!
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go, wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go, wherever you will go
If I could turn back time
I'll go, wherever you will go
I'll go wherever you will go.
Sherlock sometimes thought of the possibility of John moving on in his life. But then he would see John's eyes searching for Sherlock from the window of 221 B and he knew that his love would not go away. He always thought of some way of avoiding the whole Moriarty fiasco. Maybe then, he would have lived a happy and peaceful life with John. Right now, both of them were suffering.
Sherlock paid for his tea and then left the café for 221 B. As usual, he saw John looking out of the window. Sherlock could feel the tear rolling down his cheek as he saw John's sad eyes search for him. He hated himself for doing this, but at the same time, he wanted John to be safe and away from all the troubles of life. With that, he left the place, wiping his tears.