Disclaimer: I do not claim any rights to the Harry Potter franchise in any way.

One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Chapter 1

Today is the hottest Wednesday this spring. Sitting on the couch in my parent's foyer I lean my head back on the headrest, allowing the fan above me to blow semi-cold air on my face and neck. A warm, humid breeze blows through the windows, spilling perfumed air throughout the house. I wipe the sticky sweat plastering my hair to my forehead away and take a deep breath, trying to clear my mind of the horrors flickering through it.

One year. A whole year has passed since the war against Voldemort. One whole year of trial after trial, convicting the remaining few Death Eaters to life sentences in Azkaban. A whole freaking year of looking into the eyes of the men and women who killed my classmates, who ruined my home life, and who damaged my mind, soul, and body beyond repair.

"You have to stop thinking about it that way, 'Mione." I roll my eyes behind my lids. He always has had an uncanny ability to know what my thoughts are before they even pass my lips. Sitting up I lock onto the rumpled mess of black hair and wisdom-filled green eyes belonging to the man sitting on my father's recliner.

"It's the truth. Nothing will ever be the same." I whisper, sitting foraward. Visions of flashing green lights and frigid cold air envelop me. I see the empty look in the eyes that gazed up at me. Dead. Gone. Like they were never truly there, and like they never truly left.

"True. It will never be the same. But you are not damaged. You are only what you make of yourself. Everyone faces hardships, and everyone faces the after effects of war. You are strong, and you will return to yourself again. You have to let go." Oh Harry. Always so full of wisdom, even before the day we met. Such a young boy with so many horrors. How he has always kept a clear head (most of the time) and lived such a full life, I will never know.

"You don't understand. I don't WANT to let go!" The words are out of my mouth before I can stop myself, but I know they are true. I can't stop now. "I don't want to be alone. I don't want to face what we went through and I don't want to move on. There's nothing out there for me…"

The quizzical look on his face would be humorous if I weren't deadly serious.

"That's… That's why I'm helping with these convictions. These people… These MONSTERS. They need to suffer like we have. They need to be punished for everything they have done." My stomach is knotted, like it always is when I talk about my job. Working as a second to the Ministry in order to see them put in Azkaban was all I could really agree to do. I don't have the motivation to get a different job or start a career. I just want them punished.

"You have so much to give to any career you choose, Hermione! You are so smart and wonderful! You deserve more than sitting every day in that dark room and living through the war over and over every day. It's sick!" He's standing up and pacing a hole in the carpet now. "You were going to use your talents for something better! You were going to be better than all of us! And you won't! You have to! Please!"

"Harry, I don't want to talk about this anymore..." I groan. "We have this same conversation weekly. And it always ends the same way."

"We have to talk about it 'Mione. Over and over until you listen to me. You have to go and DO something. I can't stand seeing you wallow around this house anymore!" I roll my eyes. Always the same thing. 'You need to move on. You need to do something. Blah, blah, blah.'

"I don't wallow." I huff at him. I'm answered with a short raspberry. I swear sometimes he makes me want to hit him.

"I don't know where and when you picked up that habit but it has got to go." I frown at him.

"You're fault." And he's grinning again. How does he always do that? Even in the middle of the war he found a way to keep a smile on his face. I don't think I even know how to use those muscles anymore, and if I did, it would be too painful to follow through. I want to be like that again but… I can't.

"Yes. You can." He whispers, locking his eyes onto mine.

"Hermione?" I fly off the couch and whirl around as my mum comes bustling in the door to the foyer, arms full of groceries.

"Mum. I didn't hear you come in!" I shout, not meaning to react so strongly. She looks at me confused. "I'm sorry, I'm just not used to you being home so early!"

"Well I didn't have any more appointments for the night so I decided to grab some stuff to make some pies with you." She smiles sweetly at me over the island as she put the bags down. Looking around she asks me, "Were you talking to someone?"

"No, just thinking out loud." I reply quickly. "Trying to figure out how to clean up this case to present Friday morning."

"Ah, the Malfoy Sr. case, yes?" I hear her respond from the refrigerator.

"Yes but I would appreciate you not commenting on it, it's relatively secret until we finish and he is convicted." Making my way across the room I sit on the bar stool and watch her put away the groceries. I tried putting them away magically one time, but she insisted that household chores such as putting away groceries and making dinner where to be done by hand or they weren't done right.

"Oh right. Sorry about that. Well you will have to fill me in when it's all said and done, alright?" I just nodded. "Right. Well. How about I'll get started on these pies and you go take a walk or something. You've been locked in this house for a while now. You need to go get some fresh air."

"No that's alright I'll help with the pies." Going out in this disgusting hot weather was the last thing I want to do. But when I looked up at my mother's face I realized this was not a suggestion. With a sigh I nodded my head and began to tie up my hair.

"Yes I guess you're right. I guess I'll just… Take a short walk or something." I mumbled. The smile on her face was all the answer I needed as I stood up and proceeded towards the door.

oOoOoOo

A couple of hours had passed of mindless wandering before I stopped short at the steel gate in front of me. My feet had led me to the same place that they always did when I was forced out of my house by my loving mother.

I felt like I had no control over my body as I reached up to unlock the gate and drifted down the cobblestone walkway. One of the most meticulously gardened graveyards sprung up around me, stretching out just to the end of my sight. The bright white headstones littered the ground, with bushes of all kinds of magical flowers and plants all around.

I continued down the path to the large memorial in the center of the yard, my eyes locked onto the overbearing stone.

"Of course this is where you would come." Ron leaned against the memorial in front of me, his hands deep in his pockets. I shrugged and stopped just in front of him.

"Where else would I go?" He laughed at me.

"I dunno. Somewhere… Nice?"

"This place IS nice, Ronald." I frowned, looking around at the gorgeous landscaping.

"It's a graveyard, 'Mione. No matter how beautiful the plants are, this is not nice. Go to a café or something. Stick your nose in a book. Stop coming here."

"You can't tell me what to do, Ron." I snapped back, and ran my hand across the stone. I looked back up at him to see sorrow and amusement in his eyes.

"Too right you are. Never could. But it never stopped me from trying." He whispered. His eyes lingered on me as I walked along the edge of the monument. "Please, 'Mione. Leave. We don't want to see you upset again."

It was useless telling him that I was always in a constant state of misery. Still I ran my fingers in the engravings and felt the tears sting in the back of my eyes. Two hands gripped my shoulder and I knew both of them were flanking me, as they always used to. I stared up at the names of the two men I loved most in the world, and my heart threatened to fall out of my chest.

In loving memory of all those who served in the wizarding war:

Harry James Potter

Ronald Bilius Weasley

"I miss you guys…"

So… I rewrote this chapter for a third time because I have a different way that I'm going to go with it! BUT it's going to be awesome! : ) Let me know what you think! Any corrections and reviews are greatly appreciated!