Lieutenant Adventures Series 10 Episode 2 24 June 2014. Peter and Simon.
"Two little birds, sitting on a wall,
One named Peter, one named Simon,
Fly away Peter, fly away Simon,
Come back Peter, come back Simon."
intro: watch?v=WqaPhp-qRKw
"What did you say, Ann? Simon?" asked the Lieutenant.
"Yes," said Ann.
"Why did you say Simon as opposed to Paul?" asked the Lieutenant.
"That's the rhyme. If I said Paul, it would be wrong," said Ann.
The Lieutenant looked confused.
Sandy and Catina had been sitting in armchairs reading but now they were listening in.
"No," said the Lieutenant. "No, this is wrong." He pulled a few levers. "Paul has changed the whole of History because he was too lazy."
The CICO started making a horrible noise. It was chasing Paul, trying to scare him into going the other direction.
"Ann," shouted the Lieutenant over the console room was shaking now and the Lieutenant was gripping the edge of the console.
"Yes?" asked Ann who was also gripping the console.
"Shut your eyes," commanded the Lieutenant.
Ann did so. "Lieutenant, you're rewriting my childhood," said Ann.
"Ann, your childhood was wrong," screeched the Lieutenant. "Everybody. Hold on!" The Lieutenant was almost falling across the console because of the angle it was in. He grabbed a lever just in reach, wrenched and tightened his grip to avoid being thrown down the corridor, being injured and possibly regenerating.
The console rooms angle changed quite suddenly to make this so. The CICO was now making another horrible noise as it chased Simon away or so the Lieutenant hoped.
Sandy fell out of the armchair.
"Sorry, Sandy," shouted the Lieutenant and he shut his eyes and using a power he always knew he'd had but never used, the Lieutenant pulled Sandy back into the armchair without moving from where he was.
"How...?" screeched Sandy.
"Psychopathic links," screeched the Lieutenant. He grabbed the Master Lever.
The CICO materialised and returned to normal.
"Now..." the Lieutenant stood up straight, "...to see if it worked."
"Peter and Paul," said Ann and opened her eyes.
The Lieutenant cheered.
"And..." said Ann.
"And?" asked the Lieutenant.
"And the man with the porta potty who watched from a distance," said Ann.
The Lieutenant looked grave. The heartbreak was returning. He spared Kellie a thought and yanked the Master Lever.
The CICO dematerialised.
NEXT TIME:
"O.M.G.," said the Lieutenant. "How I wonder what you are!" exclaimed the Lieutenant.
"Lieutenant, it's a nursery rhyme," said Catina.
The CICO dematerialised.
The Lieutenant
Alfie Deyes.
Sandy Ulrich
Vanilla Ice
Catina Gunter
Miranda Kerr
Ann Allen
Julianne Hough
Simon
A random bird
Paul
As himself
The Man
Johnny Depp
With special thanks to the BBC, FanFiction and Youtube.
Director and Producer
Liam Hickey.
Writers
Mandy Stanley and Liam Hickey.
L + J 2015.