do not own fruits baskets. don't sue.
assumptions: based on the series only, disregard for later chapters of the manga and Akito is still a boy
Akito's gift
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Akito lay dying and they were all gathered. Nineteen years old, her age. Never fell in love, never had his heart broken, never had his first kiss, and he lay dying. None of them particularly loved him, none of them understood why he had to die. He just had to. And as they all gathered in her room to bade farewell, Kagura could not keep her tears from falling.
---
"Is he gone?" he waited near the gate, this was as near as he was allowed, Tohru was beside him.
"yes" she said quietly.
"so the curse?" he asked unsure.
"Its gone." She said turning around. What? No finally we can be together Kyou? No hugs? No kisses? No bone crushing? No fractures?
"Uhm Kagura?" Tohru asked apprehensive.
"Yes?" she asked turning to look at her.
"Are you ok?" she asked quietly.
"yeah." She smiled sadly. She turned around and walked away from them, her head bowed, he saw her take off her little cat back pack. And Kyou walked away confused.
This was what they all wanted. For the curse to be lifted, true it was sad Akito had to die but this was what they wanted, and it was what she was chosen for. Things could not be changed. So why did she?
---
She looked at the little stuff cat bag she had been carrying around for the past couple of years. Her love for Kyou, her unending devotion, her blind hopes.
She put it in her drawer. All her hopes, all her love ended with Akito. It was selfish of her she knew, she did give her life up so they could live, but how do you continue living when your reason suddenly didn't exist anymore? Why would Kyou choose to love her when he could have anyone now? Now that the curse was lifted they were all just normal.
What would she live for now?
She knew Kyou didn't love her. She knew he loved another. Still it didn't mean it hurt less.
Why would he stay with her?
She couldn't do what she did. She couldn't heal his heart. She loved her with all she had but still it wasn't enough.
He loved Tohru.
They were free to love whom they wish.
And deep down in her heart she regrets. She wishes she could've loved another.
---
"Kagura?" Yuki knocked at her door. "Are you ok?" he asked.
She opened her door, her tears had long since stopped. Her heart still lay broken. "Yuki-kun?" she asked smiling though it was evident she had been crying.
"I thought…I never knew you cared about Akito so much.." he said surprised.
"Oh no, its not as noble as you think. Ashamed as I am to say it, I am more selfish than it seems.." she smiled letting him in to her room.
Yuki was surprised to see that all of her pictures of Kyou was taken down. All her cat figurines were now gone. Its as if Kyou was erased from her life completely.
"Oh I redecorated, you like it?" she smiled sadly.
"What's the matter Kagura?" he asked really concerned now.
"I wanted to heal him. I wanted to be the one that made a difference to him." She said quietly. "I wanted him to love me too."
"Kyou…" he knew what was going on between Kyou and Tohru, they lived in the same house after all. He just never had the courage to tell Kagura.
"I am leaving Yuki." She said wiping the tears from her face.
"Going where?" Yuki asked startled at this.
"Away. Away from Sohma house and all the pain its caused us." She said her tears starting once more.
"Running away won't solve anything." He said shaking his head. "This isn't the answer."
"I'm not running away, I'm letting go." She said looking at Yuki, her tears blinding her. "I love Kyou. I want him to be happy. Even if it's not with me."
"You loved him that much?" he said confused.
"I love him that much." She whispered closing the lid on the box on the floor. Yuki realized that was where she had put all the pictures of Kyou.
"There has been enough sadness in this family. Let people take happiness where they find it." She said pushing the box under her bed.
---
"Talk to her, you owe her that much." Yuki said pushing Kyou dropping the box of pictures in front of him. The contents spilling, images of them together, laughing, playing together. A lifetime's worth of her love.
"I don't owe her anything! Shut up you don't know anything you stupid rat!" he yelled irritated.
"At least say good bye Kyou." He said walking away from him.
Kyou was afraid. He was a coward. He couldn't face her. She had loved him since they were children. She had given him nothing but her love and all he did was shun her. How could he tell her he didn't love her? How could he look in those eyes and tell her, break her heart? That he was in love with another?
He looked at the pictures strewn on the floor. A lifetime's worth.
---
She was walking along the main house. Passing by her favorite gardens. Her bags were in the car. Her plane leaving in an hour. She was leaving.
"So, you weren't even going to say goodbye?" she stopped. She would know that voice anywhere and before she could stop it her tears began flowing. She tried furiously to wipe the tears from her eyes. She refused to look at him.
"What do you want me to say?" he pleaded.
"Nothing…there's nothing left to say." She whispered.
"I'm sorry Kagura…"
"Don't. Don't apologize for being who you are. Akito died to give us this chance. Never apologize for living." She said looking at him. She looked into his deep red eyes, his handsome face, his orange hair and she memorized every bit of him she could.
"Will you leave this behind as well?" he asked holding up her kitty back pack. She looked fondly at it. She had spent months looking for one in Kyou's color. She had worn it lovingly, pretending it was Kyou that was always with her.
"I'm leaving all of you behind and the part of me that loved you." Her tears ceasing.
"What do you want me to say?" his tears starting. "I'm so so sorry Kagura. I'm so sorry." He whispered clutching on to the kitty backpack.
"Never apologize." She said turning to look at him. She wanted to go hug him, smell his skin lost herself in him once more. But she stayed where she was.
"Good bye Kyou." She whispered turning around walking away.
Walking away from the man she had loved all her life. Walking away from the one thing she lived for. Walking away from the one battle she could not win.
And it killed her.
---
She watched as Japan slowly melted into a tiny little green bow and tore her eyes from the window.
Akito lay dying and they were all gathered. Nineteen years old, her age. Never fell in love, never had his heart broken, never had his first kiss, and he lay dying.
Perhaps you were lucky enough to had never had loved. Perhaps you were lucky enough not to feel this pain. Perhaps.
But I will not regret living. For you I will not regret.
"Thank you Akito." She whispered closing her eyes.