Amnesia
By Marea67
About: Kevin, Scotty, Robert, Jason
Rate: G.
Disclaimer: B&S is not mine, written with love, not for money.
Summary: After an accident Jason looses the last two years of his life.
*****
Jason doesn't know what hits him. One moment he's driving, the next he sees a huge, dark object coming at him. He hits the brakes, but it's too late. There's a loud crashing sound, the feeling of endless tumbling and then there's silence…. He opens his eyes, but only sees flashing lights… Ambulances…
Someone tries to talk to him, but he doesn't believe he can reply… Everything fades to black… Bright lights, lots of clanging noises… He sinks back into this peaceful, black void until he opens his eyes, blinks at the dimmed lights over his head and hears a voice say:
"Well, hello there, Reverend McCallister… Glad to see you back… You gave us quite a scare…"
*****
Jason is aware that Robert is talking to him. He can see Robert's lips move, but he cannot concentrate on what Robert is talking about. It just doesn't register with him.
"Head-injury… At least one more week in the hospital…" Jason hears.
"Bobby...." He says softly. "I'm tired. I don't get it all..."
"You are lucky to have survived the crash."
"Crash?"
"Other car…. Missed a red light…. Hit you…." Though Robert speaks in full sentences, which Jason gathers from the movement of Robert's lips, the words don't seem to hit home.
Jason slowly closes his eyes. The blinding pain thunders through his head. Keeping his eyes open for more than a few minutes requires everything he has.
"Jason?"
"Still here. Bobby. My head hurts…." Jason softly whimpers.
"I'll get a doctor."
"I want to talk to Kevin…"
"Kevin?"
"Please, Robert, not now… I know you don't like him…. but he's my boyfriend…"
"B...?" Robert bites his lip, feeling lucky that Jason's eyes are closed. "I'll talk to Kevin."
"He needs to call the church and explain about the accident…"
"I can call them too." Robert offers.
"...Need to cancel trip to Malaysia.." Jason breaths shallowly.
"Aaaaalright…" Robert replies hesitantly…. "When is your flight?"
"In two days. You know that."
"Alright… very good." Robert smiles, his heart beating wildly. "And… just to make sure, baby-brother…. What year is this?"
"It's 2007… I know my head hurts, but I'm not insane… I just want Kevin." There's a little frown on Jason's face, as the nurse gives him another sedative and Robert watches Jason drift back to sleep. With Jason asleep Robert can worry about how to tell his brother that not only Kevin is no longer his boyfriend, Kevin is married to someone else and Jason has lost two years of his life.
*****
"So you see, it's serious…" Robert says, looking from Kevin's shocked face to Scotty's, less shocked, but nonetheless concerned. "I know, I'm asking a lot, but … is it possible for you to fake it? Just for a day or two? … that you and Jason… I don't know how to tell him… and he seems to need you…" It is clear that Robert knows what he's asking.
Kevin shakes his head.
"I can't do that. Jason and I are through and I'm married to Scotty and …"
"… Jason needs you." Scotty interferes and, not giving Kevin time to think, Robert immediately says:
"And it's only for a day or two. If he remains calm, the doctor can examine him."
"That's not the point. I don't want to lie to Jason. And I'm not going to pretend that he's my boyfriend, when I'm married to someone else."
"Kevin…. If it's on account of what you promised me, then let it go…" Scotty replies quietly, before he continues:
"Jason had a serious accident. He just lost two years of his life. If seeing you can help him to relax, then let him see you. Just pretend he's your boyfriend. It's not like you'll be here all day. Just a few hours… And then you come home to me and I'll be there for you. Just help Jason." Scotty says.
"Scotty…." Kevin shakes his head, still unsure if he should do it or not.
"Kevin, I know how much I'm asking of you… but, please, my brother needs you." Robert nearly begs and when Kevin looks at Scotty, he can see Scotty nod.
"Alright." Kevin says, but he immediately warns:
"It's for 48 hours only. I'm going to give you two days to find a way to tell Jason, after that, I'm sorry, I'm married to Scotty and though I still care a lot about Jason, I'm not going to put my own relationship in jeopardy over him." Robert nods in agreement to Kevin's words and Scotty is glad that Kevin puts in an ultimatum.
"Going in." Kevin announces, not as secure in his feelings as he'd like to be.
"Kev, your ring." Scotty reminds Kevin and Kevin stares at the ring that Scotty put on his finger, just a year ago. He swallows hard as he takes it off his finger.
"I hate this." He tells Scotty and Robert. He turns around to enter Jason's room and doesn't notice the 'me too' on Scotty's lips.
*****
Kevin feels awkward to sit there next to Jason's bed. He's been here all afternoon and though Jason seems happy to see him, Kevin feels guilty about lying to Jason. All Kevin is happy for is that he's not alone in this lie. Kitty dropped by and spend a bit of time with Jason and him, obviously biting her tongue not to talk about Evan.
Robert came to see Jason, separate from Kitty 'to not tire Jason too much', but Kevin knows that Robert did this to make sure that Kevin and Jason are not alone together, which would require them to maybe become more intimate. And both Robert and Kevin managed to bring up a bit of the old 'rivalry' they had two years ago, so that the friendship that had grown between Kevin and Robert over the last two years, wouldn't come as a surprise to Jason, but it feels so 'off' to Kevin.
Jason is nice and sweet in a way that he never was before in their relationship. Not that Jason had been uncaring, but he was never this 'over-the-top'-gentle either. Almost as if he's compensating now for the time he abandoned Kevin when he was in Malaysia.
"What is wrong?" Jason suddenly asks, aware of the silence in Kevin.
"Nothing." Kevin lies.
"I know I don't look too good…."
"You always look great, even in a pyjama with an open back." Kevin tries to joke and there's a faint smile on Jason's face.
"Then what?"
"It's just … busy with work and such…" Kevin waves his hand.
"Do you have a very important case?"
"Case? …"
"You're a lawyer…" Jason reminds him with a little laughter.
"Uh, yeah, a big case, but .. you know… Can't talk about it."
"Shouldn't you be at the office then?"
"No. I'm more worried about you."
And Kevin is glad he doesn't have to lie with those words, because he IS worried about Jason.
Jason still looks pale and sometimes it seems as if he's in a lot pain, even though he claims he's not.
"You don't have to worry about me. I'll be fine.. If you need to be at the office…?"
"I should be…" Kevin replies, growing more and more uncomfortable with this situation.
"Why don't you go back to the office?"
"Because of you. You're here and..."
"Go to work, Kevin. I love that you're here and willing to take care of me, but honestly, I think you're mind is somewhere else. I just feel it."
"I'm sorry…"
"It's alright, Kev, I'm glad you want to take the time to be with me…" Kevin feels like he almost can't breathe because Jason's gentleness is suffocating him and the need to get out of the room gets bigger.
"Besides.." Jason continues. "..I'm tired and I want to rest a bit."
"Oh. Oh, of course. Yes. Well. I'd better go then." And Kevin hopes he doesn't sound too pleased with Jason's permission to leave, but he fears the worst when he sees the peculiar look on Jason's face.
Kevin takes his jacket and his keys and he bends over to Jason and kisses him gently on the cheek. He's about to move away, when Jason grabs his arm.'
"Is that all I'm getting? A kiss on the cheek? I know I'm black and blue, but …"
"I'm sorry. You're bandages and all… I'm afraid I might hurt you…." Kevin apologizes.
"Oh, alright… I get that… Can I at least get a hug?" Jason asks, almost embarrassed at his own want for this sign of affection.
"Yeah, sure." And Kevin wraps his arms around Jason, holds him tight, but careful and Jason's grip on him is firm as well…
"I love you, Kevin." he says softly and he feels Kevin freeze in his arms and Jason bites his lip. He knows somewhere deep inside that he should not say that to Kevin. And he isn't even sure if he really loves Kevin, but Jason has the feeling that something is missing between them at the moment.
"I.." Kevin lets go of Jason and gets up. He knows he should answer with some words of love and affection as well, but he can't do it. He just can't. Then Jason smiles, a knowing smile.
"It's alright… I know that those words don't come to you easily… I'm fine."
And as Jason watches Kevin leaves, there is yet again this sense of loss, that Jason can't place. He knows that the accident shook him up, but he cannot believe that he stopped loving Kevin for it and yet… Kevin left without a proper kiss and Jason wonders why he feels happy that Kevin didn't kiss him, almost as if it would have been wrong for Kevin to do so?
*****
Kevin is happy when the door of the loft closes behind him. With a deep sigh, he leans against the door, letting his briefcase drop to the floor. He's tired of having been on his guard all the time. He smiles when Scotty enters the room from the kitchen. Just what he needs now, a bit of Scotty's love.
"Hey, how was it?"
"I feel … tired.." Kevin smiles when Scotty's hands rest on his hips. Scotty bends over to Kevin to kiss him, but stops when he suddenly becomes aware of the scent of Jason's aftershave. He backs off, feeling confused.
"You have Jason's aftershave on you." Scotty says, obviously embarrassed by his own feelings of resentment. They are stronger than he anticipated.
"What?!" Kevin lets go of Scotty as well, suddenly feeling empty, as if all the lying and pretending of today are mixing together to this wave of nausea that washes over him.
"Kevin,.." Scotty knows that he should trust Kevin, but…
"Don't! Don't give me that look of distrust! I haven't done anything wrong!" Kevin defends himself. "It was only a hug, because I couldn't even bring myself to kiss him, as he asked me to. So don't you dare!
Don't you dare to stand there and act as if I wanted to cheat on you. I did NOT want to play along. Robert and you talked me into this. So don't you dare to now suddenly get all cold on me. I don't deserve that look! And I don't deserve that attitude!" It is above all the forlorn look in his eyes that make Scotty realize that he handled the situation the wrong way.
"Kevin, I'm …" he starts, but Kevin is not willing to listen any further. He's tired and Scotty's reaction feels like a slap in the face. Fearing he might say something he would regret, he shakes his head, grabs his keys and opens the door.
"I need some fresh air." He says and he quietly closes the door behind him.
*****
Jason stares at the ceiling, alone with his thoughts. He's not allowed to have a tv or radio in his room and telephones are banned as well. Which is not bad, considering that his head feels as if it's about to explode, but he no longer wants to complain about the headaches, afraid that they will keep him even longer in the hospital.
Or, maybe, if he's really honest to himself, he would also have to admit, that he's afraid of what might be wrong with his head. He somehow feels as if he's not in sync with the rest of the world. Like they speak a different language, or perhaps some discrepancy between what they say and their body language.
Kevin and Robert always disliked each other verbally and Jason could live with that. Like Kevin, he's a Democrat at heart, although he votes for Robert whenever he can, so he can understand the political differences between them, because he knows that Robert and Kevin respect each other as human beings.
But today, they almost seemed to have rallied together and yet they weren't. There was a underlying behavior that didn't match with the way they talked to each other. Pretend. Fake. Make-believe. Yeah, that's the word for it. Make-believe. Had they tried too hard to be friendly, to show him he shouldn't worry about them?
And speaking of make-believe, he himself feels like a fake as well. He doesn't understand what is wrong with him. He knows that Kevin is his boyfriend, and yet… he doesn't seem to feel it anymore. And he tries to remember if he had a fight with Kevin before he left home, before the accident.
The pain in his head throbs on. He had asked the nurse to close the curtains and turn off as much light as possible, but somehow, when he rubs his eyes, they are wet with tears, he can't keep his eyes open for long without the feeling that his eyes are completely dry. So his head-ache is not from the light.
He sighs and tries to remember the accident, but he can't. Not really. Just some blurry images, darkness, lights, noises and silence. He sighs again, closes his eyes and tries to relax and again he tries to access his memory. He was driving… He tries to remember driving, but there are no images. Seems like everything in his head is blocked.
Is he going crazy? Maybe he should talk to the doctor? What if he has some brain-damage? Just before panic sets in, the door opens and the nurse enters, a smile on her pretty face as she wipes her long blonde hair over her shoulder.
"So, how are we feeling today?" She asks in a soft, pleasant voice.
"Don't know about your part of the 'we', but my part of the 'we' feels like I got run over by a car." Jason replies grumpily to her cheerfulness. She laughs quietly.
"Good. That means that there's life in you again."
"Because I feel miserable?"
"Yes, you can feel miserable, because you're still alive."
"Oh, yippee." Jason reacts, but he cannot help the little smile that shows around his lips.
"Here you go. Your next shot. You'll feel so much better in a few minutes."
"The good drugs, huh?" Jason now grins.
"You'll be sleeping like a baby all night, which will give me time to put my feet on the table and have nap as well." She jokes in return.
"I must look terrible. All black and blue… My brother told me I look awful." Jason says and the young nurse looks Jason up and down. There's hardly a scratch on Jason's face.
Even the bandages look good on him. Then she remembers the warning. Memory-loss. Be careful. Go with it for now.
"I've seen worse." She says in all honesty.
"Really?" Jason now laughs, still believing he's the one who looks awful.
"Should have seen my last blind date… Illegitimate offspring of Quasimodo and the bride of Frankenstein, I'm sure of it…"
"So, did you run or did you still go out with him?"
"I went out with him… I love horror-movies…" She replies with a wink.
Still laughing, Jason watches her leave the room and he's alone with his thoughts again. He still feels like there's something wrong, something he can't put his finger on, but he cannot worry about it for long, because the medicines start to kick in and he drifts off to sleep again.
*****
Kevin enters the loft, again, and the first thing he sees is Scotty, on the couch, waiting for him. Kevin raises his hands.
"I don't want to fight." He says in a tired voice.
"Neither do I, baby. I love you. And I'm sorry." Scotty replies immediately.
Kevin visibly relaxes and Scotty reaches out to him.
"C'me here." He says quietly and Kevin sits down beside him and a few seconds later he's safely in Scotty's arms. "I'm sorry, you were right, Kevin. You didn't want to do it and I talked you into it. I had no right to get mad at you.
I guess that when I smelled the after-shave, that jealousy worm reared its ugly head again and I suddenly realized that you must have been really close to Jason today and… I guess this must sounds so stupid… but I love you so much and I don't want him to touch you, be with you or anything. You're mine! …
I wanted to prove to you that I was grown up enough to handle this. I guess I thought I had it under control, that I thought I could be 'fine' with it, that it was only make-believe. But I was wrong. It just didn't sit that well with me after all. But that is my own stupid fault and not yours."
"Fair enough." Kevin replies, feeling Scotty's hands on his back. Scotty lifts up Kevin's head, kisses him softly on the lips and Kevin hungrily replies, needing to feel Scotty close to him. For a moment they are lost in their kiss, but then Scotty breaks the kiss.
"How did it go with Jason? I will listen. No jealousy. I trust you." He says calmly.
"Good and bad. Good, because his injuries could have been far worse. The doctors could not find any reason to believe that he has some brain-injury. The shock of the accident must have caused him to lose two years of his life, but they don't know why he's stuck in that particular moment.
However, he could wake up tomorrow and remember everything. It could also take weeks… And I … I don't want to wait that long. I don't think I can even make it through tomorrow. I didn't like this when Robert suggested it and I like it even less now. Jason believes so strongly that he and I are still together…
He's making such an effort to hold on to it, he's so incredibly sweet, that it suffocates me. I just want to tell him the truth. I feel so dirty about keeping up the lie. I lie to him, I feel like I'm cheating on you and I simply hate to take off my wedding ring to keep up the pretence.
I put that ring on your finger because I love you, because it's you I wanted to be with, grow old with. I wanted to show you my dedication. That I have faith in you. In us. And I thought that it was also the reason why you put this ring on my finger…"
".. It is…" Scotty replies, breathless by Kevin's unexpected passionate words.
"I feel it's wrong to take it off and pretend that I'm with Jason. It lessens the value of our ceremony, of what it means to me. And I strongly doubt that Jason will be happy with this. He takes symbols like wedding-rings very serious. I don't think he'll be too thrilled to find out that I took off my ring to play a game for him.
And that is another thing. I can understand Robert's initial shock, but the more I think about it, the more I doubt that Jason will appreciate all the faking. He's not as fragile as Robert believes him to be…"
"Maybe you should talk to Robert about this." Scotty suggests carefully.
"I will… Right now, all I want a hot shower and maybe I won't feel so dirty…" Kevin sighs as he gets up and leaves. Scotty counts to ten before following Kevin into the bathroom. He can feel Kevin's shock when he puts his hands on Kevin's body.
"I thought we'd shower and get clean together." Scotty says softly and Kevin smiles.
*****
Jason is done. Done with the silence in the room, the lack of information from the outside world, he misses Kevin like crazy. He knows Kevin will be here again this afternoon, but when he woke up two hours ago, he simply knew that something was missing between Kevin and him and that he could not spend another day, not knowing why he feels that way.
So, while the nurses are busy, he gets up and tells them that he wants to wash himself. He enters the small shower cubicle and looks in the mirror and wonders why Robert said that he's covered in black and blues, because he isn't. An uneasy feeling comes over him. Kevin too had implied that he did not to want to kiss Jason due to the bruises.... What bruises?
Why are Kevin and Robert lying to him? He needs answers and he needs to get out of here. His head still hurts, but he's convinced that once he's away from the hospital, he'll be able to relax. He just needs a quiet place and he needs something to kill the pain. Something like the strip of aspirins he always carries with him.
He doesn't shower, but instead slowly dresses himself and in an moment when all the nurses are busy he sneaks out of the room and quickly moves to the elevators. Luckily he still has his wallet. He can take a cab to Kevin's apartment… And lucky for him, someone just brought a patient. He can get in and leave the hospital-ground.
*****
"I see your point, Kevin… And I think, you're right. When I found out that Jason believed it was 2007 and that you were still his boyfriend, I panicked. I thought he would be unable to handle the truth, but you're right. Jason hates begin lied to and I think we should correct that as soon as possible." Robert sighs.
"Yeah, I'm sorry. I thought I could do it. Scotty thought he could handle it. But… it's though, because …. things …. have changed so drastically…"
"Kevin, you're right. This shouldn't happen at the expense of your relationship with Scotty. I'm grateful that both of you gave me enough time to prepare him for the shock."
"Really?" Kevin feels a bit strange that Robert gives in so easily, he had expected more of a fight. Robert smiles.
"Yeah. I know you cared, and still care, a lot about Jason, but Scotty is the one for you. And at the time, two years ago, I wasn't very happy with the way you broke up with Jason.
But, over time, I've come to realize, that you really didn't have much of a choice. You were honest enough to break my brother's heart, when you found out that you loved Scotty more. You could have dragged the relationship, you could have continued to cheat on Jason, but you didn't. As painful as it was, you broke upwith him."
"Oh, be honest. You were glad to get rid of me." Kevin jokes, slightly overwhelmed by Robert's words.
"That too." Robert admits, but with a huge smile that takes the sting out of his words. "Especially whenever I see you with Scotty. I think you made the right choice for yourself…
You know, why don't we go to the hospital after our meeting with Mr Harding. We'll go together and tell Jason the truth."
"Safety in numbers, huh?"
"Something like that." Robert laughs.
*****
"Are you sure you're alright?" the driver asks, throwing a concerned look at the bandage around Jason's head.
"Yeah, fine. Hit my head. It looks worse than it is." Jason smiles his most soothing smile and after another look at the passenger the man looks back at the road before him.
It's warm in the cab and in the sunlight coming in through the window, Jason closes his eyes, as the humming sound puts him to sleep….
… He's driving. The music is playing. Kevin is beside him in the car. One moment he's driving, the next he sees a huge, dark object coming at him. He hits the brakes, …
… the car passes him by an inch. The man behind the wheel looks angrily at Jason, before speeding away.
"Are you alright?" He asks Kevin and Kevin, shaken, but seemingly alright, nods.
"Wow. That idiot nearly killed us... and your trip to Malaysia." Kevin replies.
And Jason looks over his shoulder to his bags. Packed and ready for leaving.
"Let's forget this. I have a plane to catch…" Jason smiles, quickly giving Kevin a kiss.
Jason blinks and feels disorientated. What was that? A memory? A dream? But he hasn't gone to Malaysia yet. It had to be a dream…
Again his head starts to hurt. Almost as if some pressure is building up in it. What if there is something wrong with him? What if he IS going insane? Or if he DOES have some brain-damage? And just as panics starts to rise, the cab takes a turn and Jason is in front of the building Kevin lives in.
*****
Scotty signs two more documents, then he's ready with the first part of a huge dinner he's supposed to organize in the restaurant. And all he needs now is some coffee to stay awake during this boring part of the job. He stacks his papers, and prepares the second part to finish after his coffee. With a deep sigh he disappears into the kitchen.
*****
Jason only now realizes he forgot to bring his keys… He feels so stupid. How is he supposed to get in? He is thinking about an answer when the door opens and ..
"Mrs Berrymen!" He says.
"Reverend McCallister! What happened to you?"
"A small accident… Can I go in? I want to see Kevin."
"Sure. Go up." She smiles. "Kevin isn't in. I saw him leave." She yells as Jason walks up to the elevator. Then she says something else, just as the door opens. Jason isn't entirely sure but it sounded something like 'Scotty is home though'.
Mhmm, what a weird thing to say. Who's Scotty and why is the name familiar? The headache flares up again and Jason would love to pound his head against the wall of the elevator. Instead, he just lets it rest. He closes his eyes as he hears a voice:
"Kevin, tell him how well I do soft-shelled crabs…"
Jason presses the '5' button for the 5th floor and slowly the elevator starts to move. Still with his head against the wall, he closes his eyes again.
"You wanna know why I didn't call?"
"Why?"
"I thought it would make it worse."
"Worse?"
"I missed you too much!"
"You know what that is? That is the worst excuse I've ever heard…"
Jason lifts his head with more speed than he planned, immediately the pain rushes back. Why is Kevin angry with him? Did they fight before the accident? The elevator stops and he enters the corridor to Kevin's apartment. Somehow it looks different. Different paintings? ... something.. why can't he remember it?
*****
Scotty puts his papers in the canvas bag, along with two cook-books that he will need tonight, just in case he needs the recipe to fall back on. On top of that are the several drawings that Paige and Cooper made for his office at the restaurant. He smiles at the colorful cake that Cooper drew him. Candles and all.
He opens the door to put the bag outside so he won't forget it and …
"Jason?!" Scotty is shocked, not only by the fact that Jason stands in front of his door, but also by how pale he looks, the pain that is clearly written on his face and the blood that is showing on the bandage around his head as if the wound is bleeding again.
"Who are you?" Jason asks, confused by the fact that he has seen Scotty's face before, but can't place it.
"I…I clean the loft?..." Scotty makes up on the spot.
"Kevin has someone to clean the loft?" Jason asks, though it would explain why he knows the young man's face.
"Yes. I do … occasionally." Scotty replies truthfully.
"Can I come in?"
"No."
"No?"
"I'm… I'm not allowed to let strangers into the loft, when he's not here."
"I'm his boyfriend. You know my name. You just mentioned it." Shoot! Busted! Scotty quickly thinks over his options and can come up with only one.
"I'm sorry." He says and slams the door closed in front of Jason.
Though the peep-hole Scotty can see Jason's baffled face and he hurriedly presses the speed-dial, but Kevin doesn't answer his phone. Oh, of course. Meeting. He has no other option but to call Robert's office and ask the secretary to leave an urgent message for Kevin.
*****
Kevin has long lost the thread of the conversation. Mr Harding is a boring speaker and his voice makes Kevin sleepy. He is tired and wants to get out and get some fresh air. There's a knock on the door and the secretary comes in, places a piece of paper before Kevin and quietly leaves again.
Kevin reads the message, frowns, reads it again and then clears his throat.
"Mr Harding, I'm sorry to interrupt your fascinating speech, but Senator McCallister has a family emergency." Kevin says politely.
"I do?" Robert wonders if Kevin is trying to get out of this boring meeting.
That is when Kevin gives him the piece of paper on which is written:
"Message from your husband: Jason is at the loft!"
"We do have a family emergency." Robert confirms, following Kevin's example and getting ready to end the meeting.
*****
On the other side of the door, Jason still stands, confused by the whole situation. He's tired, his head hurts even worse than before, he feels caught in a nightmare that just doesn't end. He lifts his hand and knocks on the door.
"Please, let me in." He begs.
It remains quiet and Jason wonders if the young man even heard him. And just when he wants to knock again, the door opens. Scotty had planned to tell Jason that Kevin and Robert were on their way, but when he sees Jason, he recognizes that Jason looks pretty bad. Scotty forgets the story he's supposed to uphold.
"Jason? You looks sick and you need to rest."
"I shouldn't have left the hospital…"
"No."
"… but I feel so confused and tired."
"You've had a serious accident'…."
"That's not it. Since I woke up, I feel … oh, you're going to think I'm insane…"
"No, I won't…" Scotty shakes his head.
"I feel as if nothing is real. Kevin. Robert. They all act so strangely. I drove here by cab. I didn't recognize things. There are changes everywhere. How could so much have changed in a few days? I hear voices. Mine, Kevin's, … Another person? Yours maybe… Conversations I cannot remember having, but it's all so real."
Jason seems so confused and worried, that Scotty silently curses Robert's plan and the fact that he went along with it, even though Kevin didn't want to hear about it.
"Jason…. Why don't you come in?" Scotty says, opening the door even further to let Jason in.
And again Jason feels lost. The loft is the same, but different. He recognizes Kevin's desk. The couch. Books. Knick-knacks. But at the same time there's another touch to the place, another scent, another life. There's ….
… Scotty. Looking rather uncomfortable. As uncomfortable as he feels.
"What is going on?" Jason asks, his voice soft and tired.
"Sit down." Scotty invites, and as he motions to the couch, Jason sees a wedding-ring on Scotty's finger and he feels even more confused.
Scotty gathers his thoughts as he pours the coffee.
"Jason, you had an accident a few days ago…" He starts and Jason nods, he knows that. "We were all concerned about you because your car took a hard hit. When you came to, you told Robert that, according to you, it's 2007, but it's not…"
"It's not…?"
"...2007. It's 2009. You've lost two years of your life…" Scotty is trembling inside, but outwardly seems calm. Jason blinks a few times.
"I… I don't believe you." He then stammers.
"Newspaper." Scotty places the paper before Jason. "Read the date…." He clicks on the remote. "See the date on the news? 2009… That is also the reason why you weren't allowed tv, radio, newspapers…" Something in Scotty's calm spoken words starts to make sense to Jason.
"What happened? What is real? What isn't?" He asks, bringing his hand to his head.
"For some reason you got stuck in 2007, a few days before you had to leave for Malaysia."
"Did I go?"
"Yes. But… from what I've gathered… it's not like you and I ever discussed this… you had a spiritual crises and …" Scotty searches for the right words. ".. you … withdrew from Kevin… emotionally… You didn't call him... It was like he no longer existed for you and.. around the same time… Kevin and I ran into each other again and … Things happened."
"Did he cheat on me?" Jason asks quietly.
"Yes." Scotty's answer makes Jason close his eyes. He knew it. Yesterday something had been 'off' between Kevin and him… No wonder… Even now, the message that Kevin cheated on him, doesn't touch him. Kevin is no longer his.
Again he looks at Scotty.
"Go on, please… things are starting to make sense to me."
"Kevin broke up with you…"
".. Over the phone?" Jason asks, curious about a vague memory. Scotty nods.
"… and asked me … to be with him… Then you came back from Malaysia and you and Kevin would meet you here, at the loft and…"
"Soft-shelled crabs?"
"I made them…" Scotty smiled. "I was so incredibly jealous of you…., but that night…."
"..Was the definitive end of Kevin and me...?"
"Yes, I think so."
"And you two got married?"
"Last year… You were invited, but you declined.. You sent us a painting though."
"Really?"
"Yes, it's in the kitchen. It's a table of food with a law-book in the centre…." He sees the questioning look on Jason's face and smiles: "I'm a chef-cook… Kevin is…"
".. a lawyer." Jason laughs and then more hesitantly: "Are we … friends?"
"No. But we're not enemies either. We just live our own lives." Scotty pays close attention to Jason, he can see how Jason is trying to sort out the information he just received. "Kevin and Robert are on their way over here. I'm sure that if you have questions they can answer them as well."
"Thank you…. I'm not happy with the memory-loss, but, at least, certain things make sense now. I truly believed I was going out of my mind these last 24 hours. It was a nightmare." He shivers and Scotty puts a hand on his shoulder.
"I'm sorry. You should have known the truth from the start, just as Kevin said."
"You know… Nothing happened between Kevin and me yesterday… Just in case you were wondering." Jason is so shy in admitting this, that Scotty manages to hide his smile and stay serious as well.
"Kevin told me. It bothered him so much that he had to lie to you."
"He shouldn't have done it. He's married to you. It's not something I take lightly."
"That's what he said as well. I understand that he spoke to Robert earlier and that they intended to go to the hospital and tell you the truth right after their meeting." Scotty's words seem to take away some of the tension in Jason. "Maybe you should lie down an bit and rest?"
Jason feels how tired he is and he nods.
"Do you want to lie down on the couch or the bed?"
"I don't want to…."
"Just lie down." Scotty pushes gently to let Jason lie down.
He lets his fingers casually run through Jason's hair, a soft caress, as if to sooth a child, but it gives him the opportunity to touch the bandages. Yes, it is new blood. The bandages are wet. He continues his soft touch until, slowly but surely, Jason relaxes and falls asleep.
Scotty covers him with a thin blanket, he then tries to contact Kevin, but the telephone is turned off. So he writes a quick note for Kevin and Robert and sticks it on the door with some tape.
"Kevin, Robert - Jason is asleep. Enter quietly, please. - Scotty."
*****
"Of course I know their service is spotty, …"
".. Then let's not argue. Is everything alright?"
"No, I'm good. I'm good. I just.. ah.."
"Take it easy, I need to talk to you."
"Yeah… I .. well … I need … I need… I need to talk to you too."
"You've been trying long enough to reach me… So, you go first…"
"Jase… I… I don't know how to tell you this…"
"What, Kev?" Jason starts to feel very uneasy.
"I… I slept with someone else…." Kevin blurts out. It stays quiet on the phone. "Jase?"
"Ahm… I.. I don't know what to say… Are you asking me to forgive you? Because…"
"No… I just want to be honest with you… I'm not going to lie like my father did… I'm in love with someone else and I slept with him… and…"
"In love? Just like that?"
"No 'just like that'. I fell in love with him a year ago, but he dumped me and I… I moved on… but we met again… and I… I thought that I had lost him forever, but I think he might still be interested in me… and…" Kevin's voice fades.
"I see…"
"Jason, I'm terribly sorry. So far, it was only a one-night thing.. I was drunk. And so was he. If he hadn't been, he would not have slept with me…." Jason listens to Kevin's quickly spoken words. The 'other man' would not have done it? What about Kevin?
"… I don't even know if Scotty is really interested in giving me a second chance, but it did make me realize one thing… Scotty is the one I'm in love with and … what I feel for you is not the same… I would be lying if I pretended it could ever feel the same and you deserve better…"
There's a long silence between them, but then Jason finds his voice back.
"I see." He replies in a rough voice and he takes his hands off the key-board, where he was just about to order his flight back to America. "So… We're through?"
"I'm sorry."
"Yeah, me too… I guess there's nothing left to say then…" Jason realizes.
"No."
"Bye, Kevin."
"Bye, Jason." The line is dead and Jason clicks away the site on the newly installed computer.
*****
TWO DAYS LATER:
"Well, you look a lot better." Kevin laughs and Jason feels better too. The headache has lessened. The wounds have been cleaned. His pain-killers have been reduced and in all he feels more in control.
"I'm glad to see you both. Those smell absolutely delicious, Scotty."
"Thank you… Kevin figured the hospital wouldn't allow me to bring some crustaceans, but cookies would do…"
"Too bad. I was really looking forward to a plate of those delicious soft-shelled crabs."
"Well, I'll see what I can do, if you come out of the hospital." Scotty teases.
"Yeah, we could invite Chad Barry over as well." Kevin suggests.
"No way! He's take one look at Jason and propose a foursome." Scotty shakes his head.
"I don't think I'm up for that yet. Still have head-aches, you know." Jason laughs.
"Did they find out what caused them?"
"No. But I think I figured out why I got stuck in 2007. Do you remember when we drove to the airport to go to Malaysia..?" Jason asks and Kevin nods. "and that we got almost run of the road, by that black car?"
"Yes, that moron!"
"Nearly the same thing happened a few days ago. Also a big black stain coming at me. Only this time, he didn't miss me, he hit me pretty bad. The doctor thinks that the similarities between those two accidents played a bad trick on my head… But I'm getting better and my memory is coming back to me rather fast."
"Good, happy to hear that. Robert must be thrilled…."
"Not really. I gave him a piece of my mind yesterday about lying to me. I don't think he's going to do THAT again…, and… it was nice of him to be so worried about me… just don't tell him that." Jason now grins.
At that moment a young nurse enters.
"Sorry. I need five minutes with the patient." She says, making it clear to Kevin and Scotty to get out of the room.
"We'll be back in five minutes." Kevin promises as he and Scotty are leaving.
In the hall, he turns to Scotty and pulls him closer for a quick kiss.
"What is that for?"
"Because you're an amazing husband and I'm so glad you enough faith in me."
"… and then I get all jealous…"
"Yes. And I'm glad you did. I would feel bad if you didn't care that I pretended not to be married to you… But you did care."
"Of course I care. You're my husband and I love you." Scotty replies softly.
"And I love you, Scotty."
THE END