To: Harry Potter--- Top Auror, Ministry of Magic
From: Hermione Granger---Minister of Magic, Ministry of Magic
Subject: Hello Darling.
Hello Harry. I just wanted to make sure you were using your e-mail account that I set up for you. I know that there is always the possibility of you being even dafter that I thought, and perhaps you cannot even figure out how to get into it.
That's why I'm sending Fowler from Tech Support to help you.
…Come to think of it…you probably didn't even know the Ministry HAD a Tech Support office. Actually…COME to think of it, you are even dafter than I had originally thought a mere minute ago…
Anyway, onto bigger and better things… I was also wondering what we're going to do about dinner tonight. Because sitting here listening to Percy drone on and on about who the hell knows what…I'm quite famished. We both get done around 6:30pm so feel free to surprise me.
You owe me really. Remember what happened last time you promised to give me a special dinner?
Well that's all for now darling. Hopefully you'll figure out what to do when the little voice comes online and tells you have mail. Actually I hope you are ONLINE at ALL.
Oh Fowler…save my soul…
Kisses!
Hermione
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To: Hermione Granger---Minister of Magic, Ministry of Magic
From: Harry Potter--- Top Auror, Ministry of Magic
Subject: Thanks for the confidence dear…
You really think I'm that daft? What have I ever done to make you think that?
(That was a question that was not meant to be answered. So don't.)
I figured out how to access this e-mail thingie all by myself…
And Fowler showed up JUST in time to show me how to turn the computer on. I guess I should be thanking you for sending him.
Oh and you're right. I had absolutely no idea we had a Tech Support office. Who needs that?
Oh…that's right apparently I do…
ANYWAY…tonight…it is a surprise. So don't leave your office. I will be swooping in to pick you up with all the charm and exuberance I have in my power.
(NO that does not mean we're getting pizza. The last time that happened was because Ron made me go to the Quidditch store and I saw that new model that I was dying to have. It wasn't my fault that there was only one left and that I had to charm the saleswitch into letting me have it. I mean, I even had to flash the scar... I told you that…)
So I hope this little e-mail left you with high hopes and anticipation.
Love you,
Harry
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To: Ronald Weasley--- Sports Writer, The Quibbler
From: Harry Potter--- Top Auror, Ministry of Magic
Subject: HELP!
RON WEASLEY. IF YOU WERE A GOOD BEST FRIEND YOU WILL FLOO OVER TO MY OFFICE RIGHT NOW.
I forgot that I had promised Hermione I would take her out somewhere special tonight for dinner.
I have no reservations.
I have no ideas.
I AM THE WORST MAN IN THE ENTIRE WORLD.
(And no Ron, I am not going to get a PIZZA. You told me that last time. Remember how well that turned out…)
HELP!
Harry
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To: Harry Potter--- Top Auror, Ministry of Magic
From: Ronald Weasley--- Sports Writer, The Quibbler
Subject: What the hell is this that I'm writing on? An EEEE-Snail?
Harry you're a daft git. You know that right? I can't just FLOO over. I'm working.
(Well you know…I'm sitting in Luna's office. I'm supposed to be working in my department, but I like Luna's office. It is so much nicer. I mean really. Nothing is happening in Quidditch anyway. And seriously man, how can you work in the same building as your girlfriend? I can't seem to tear myself away from this lovely couch she has. Gossip columnists get WAY better stuff than sports writers…)
Anyway back to your Hermione problem. You need help mate.
Why don't you cook? You know she would love it. When I cook for Luna, it's like I'm a God. A God of the kitchen. Even when I burn everything, and we end up getting Chinese take-out, it doesn't really matter because it's the THOUGHT that counts.
Oh yes Harry. I believe you should cook.
Ron
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To: Ronald Weasley--- Sports Writer, The Quibbler
From: Harry Potter--- Top Auror, Ministry of Magic
Subject: You ARE my savior
RONALD WEASLEY YOU HAVE OUTDONE YOURSELF.
I'm all about the cooking. I'm the best chef in the WORLD.
I may not have cooked anything in my entire life...but I'm pretty sure I would be amazing at it.
I beat the Dark Lord. I can certainly whip up a few spells and have a gourmet feast appear right before my eyes!
I
Am
A
Daft
Git.
Thanks Mate!
Harry
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To: Hermione Granger---Minister of Magic, Ministry of Magic
From: Harry Potter--- Top Auror, Ministry of Magic
Subject: Go home.
Hermione, my love, please go home.
Harry
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To: Harry Potter---Top Auror, Ministry of Magic
From: Hermione Granger---Minister of Magic, Ministry of Magic
Subject: HARRY JAMES!
HARRY JAMES POTTER!
You don't have anything planned do you?
I KNEW this would happen. Now I have to listen to Percy talk about how to speak like a Muggle. Excuse me Percy, but I GREW UP WITH MUGGLES.
And now I have nothing to daydream about…I WAS looking forward to a wonderfully romantic dinner…but NOW…
Goodnight Harry.
Hermione
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To: Hermione Granger---Minister of Magic, Ministry of Magic
From: Ronald Weasley--- Sports Writer, The Quibbler
Subject: Go Home Hermione.
Hermione, go home. I'm serious. Harry told me to tell you. And I actually have to agree on this one…
Well according to this crazy eeee-snail thing…that's what Harry told me to tell you. I still think it's being bewitched. Maybe I'm NOT even talking to YOU!
Ron
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To: Ronald Weasley--- Sports Writer, The Quibbler
From: Hermione Granger---Minister of Magic, Ministry of Magic
Subject: Ronald…
That e-mail subject was pretty familiar Ronald.
Don't tell me you're in cahoots with Harry again. Although what am I supposed to expect from you two. I swear if Harry didn't have me he'd have to be dating you. You never leave each others side.
And it's an E-MAIL. Not and EEEE-SNAIL.
And no it's not bewitched. Merlin Ron.
And fine.
I'll go home.
But whatever this is about…I'll kill you if it sucks. BEWARE RONALD WEASLEY!
Hermione
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To: Harry Potter--- Top Auror, Ministry of Magic
From: Hermione Granger---Minister of Magic, Ministry of Magic
Subject: You are the most…
You are the most delicious, handsome, adorable, wonderful, fantastic man I have ever met in my entire life.
Thank you for last night. I love you darling.
Love,
Hermione
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To: Ronald Weasley--- Sports Writer, The Quibbler
From: Harry Potter--- Top Auror, Ministry of Magic
Subject: Look at this…
FWD: From Hermione Granger
You are the most delicious, handsome, adorable, wonderful, fantastic man I have ever met in my entire life.
Thank you for last night. I love you darling.
Love,
Hermione
….
Now look at THAT. That is the e-mail of a woman in love. Last night was great idea mate.
And it's not even like the dinner was the best part…I mean afterwards…
Thanks again.
Harry
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To: Harry Potter--- Top Auror, Ministry of Magic
From: Ronald Weasley--- Sports Writer, The Quibbler
Subject: I didn't need to hear that….
Mate, you know I didn't need to hear that.
Keep your freaking personal life to your freaking self! Come on man!
But I'm glad it all worked out. (Even if you burned it all to a crisp. I mean come on man…who burns BEANS?)
Ron
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To: Ronald Weasley--- Sports Writer, The Quibbler
From: Hermione Granger---Minister of Magic, Ministry of Magic
Subject: I know.
I know it was your idea.
Come on Ron. It was so obvious.
And I know you helped make dinner.
Because you left you're jacket on the table.
And seriously…the entire dinner was burned to a crisp. (Come on now Ron…who burns BEANS?) And plus…we ended up eating pizza on the bedroom floor, because the rest of the house smelled like something had curled up and died right in our oven!
Obviously the pizza was your idea.
I swear it's a tie over who is the dafter…you or Harry.
But thank you. It was a wonderful dinner…at least the thought that went into it…
And I know you'll start screaming and jumping around and pretending to gag yourself when I say this…
But AFTER dinner was the best part!
Hermione
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To: Hermione Granger---Minister of Magic, Ministry of Magic
From: Ronald Weasley---Sports Writer, The Quibbler
Subject: GAG ME.
Thanks to you I'm all out of breath from running around the office screaming and covering my eyes when I saw that nastiness written on my computer screen.
Actually, I'm in Luna's office. So I held off on the pretend gagging.
But please, for the love of Merlin…leave yours and Harry's love lives to yourself. Even saying the words 'love' and 'lives' in the same sentence with 'you' and 'Harry' gives me the chills.
Ron
p.s. was the pizza good though? I asked them to put extra cheese on…
p.p.s NOT that it was my idea. The pizza I mean. Not my idea AT ALL.
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Well that's it. Random idea. I read something on another fanfiction site that had the same sort of idea, except it was through an online quiz, not e-mails. I wrote this in about an hour, and hopefully it's not too bad!!!! I'm not sure if I will add to it. Possibly not. We'll see how it goes…