Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball Z nor TFS' abridged series in which the main character of this piece is based on.
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G'day mates at Fédération Intergalactic de Football Association (or FIFA for short).
My name is Jeice, a proud member of the illustrious Ginyu Force under the command of Lord Frieza. Unlike some of the letters you may have gotten in the past from other members of Freiza's army, I'm here on behalf of Space Australia to tell you why you should select my home planet to host the next Intergalactic Football Space Cup.
Space Australian's are a strange bunch, especially if you come from Space Victoria, but the one thing that we love above our sheelia's is our sport. Through rain, shine or hail you will always find us down our local watering hole hoisting a pint of Space XXXX Gold as we watch our beloved Space Broncos or other team do their damned best to go for the bloody win. Even if our team isn't playing, Space Australian's love watching any sport and will likely throw their support to the underdog every bloomin' time. This in its own right is a damned good reason why people around the galaxy would love to come to Space Australia in order to be amongst the best people whilst watching their planet compete.
Unlike Space Qatar which is hot as balls and Space Russia which is cold as tits, Space Australia has a bleeding good climate perfect for any sport that people will enjoy. Considering when the tournament would be held it will be the middle of our winter where out temperature is about the same as Space England during the summer so the Space Pom's will feel right at home. With an abundance in wildlife and beautiful coastal waters, who wouldn't want to come visit?
Now, you may be wondering whether or not Space Australia is capable of hosting such a luxurious event and the answer is simple. When I was but a small lad, me mum and dad took me down to Space Sydney when the Space Olympics were being held. I watched as people from across the galaxy competed with each other then and would love to watch the children witness with the same awe and amazement that I had back in the day as the best of the best battle it out.
So come on fella's, do what's right and let Space Australia show you that we know how to have a good time and how we can successfully host a tournament such as this. And you know what, when you get here the first pint is on me.
Sincerely
Jeice of the Ginyu Squad
P.S. I don't mind if you don't choose Space Australia but if I find out you only did so because of bribes then you and I are going to have a little talk where wanker will probably be the nicest thing I call you as I rip out your entrails.