The Terror of the Junkyard

Written as a trade for the always-awesome CrazyIndigoChild. This fic contains HEAVY SEXUAL CONTENT, Munk/Misto naughtiness, pirate-kink, and inappropriate use of the Jellicle costume pile.

Disclaimical: T.S. Eliot created these kitties, Andrew Lloyd Webber made them sing and dance. Both would have heart attacks if they knew what I was making the cats do.


"Don't you think this looks ridiculous?" Mistoffelees asked.

Munkustrap looked up from sorting out yet another piece of cloth, trying to determine if he'd grabbed a pair of trousers or a tunic. For creatures who did not traditionally wear clothing, it was difficult to tell one piece from the next.

He didn't miss Mistoffelees' plaintive tone, and in fact the small tom was staring down dolefully at the sewn piece of cloth he'd just managed to slide up his lower body.

"Well, it's a costume," Munkustrap said diplomatically. "It's supposed to look a little larger-than-life."

"I think it's more… larger-than-me," Mistoffelees said. He craned his neck to look behind him, wiggling his rear, and finally managed to pull his tail out from a hole in the back of the makeshift trousers. The piece of clothing may have been traditionally human, but it had been crafted to be worn by a Jellicle.

Munkustrap smiled. "You look fine, love."

The patterned orange trousers did seem especially baggy around Mistoffelees' lithe form, but it couldn't be helped; he was probably the smallest tom to have prepared to participate in the recounting of Growltiger's Last Stand. The tabby knew he was excited to be in the performance, though a bit dubious about having to wear one of the pirate costumes. Rifling through the pile of costumes laid out in his den, Munkustrap picked the smallest leather strap he could find and handed it to Mistoffelees.

"Fasten this around yourself," he said. "You can use it as a belt to keep your trousers up."

Mistoffelees obeyed, winding the thin strap around his waist and fastening it. The material still bunched above his slim hips; it was obvious this particular costume had originally been sewn for a much larger cat.

"This is very cumbersome. Why should I feel concerned about keeping my trousers up, anyway?"

"So they don't fall and trip you while you dance," Munkustrap said. He pulled out a second set of trousers from the pile and held them up, judging the size. Still too big for Mistoffelees, but they would fit him nicely. He set the trousers aside and went back to digging for a tunic, hopefully something that would fit Mistoffelees.

The Jellicle Ball was less than a week away; he was thankful to have grabbed the pirate costumes first from where Jellylorum kept them in storage, allowing him and Mistoffelees first pick before the rest of the Jellicles clamored for costume pieces. He'd hoped it would enable them both to find something flattering.

"And if you were a real pirate, like the humans, you would be concerned about keeping your trousers up for modesty."

"Modesty?" Mistoffelees scoffed, as though the idea of maintaining modesty with clothing was quite ridiculous. He lifted one leg and stretched it up along his body, holding his tail out for balance, testing the mobility of the trousers. He made one quick spin and landed soundlessly on his feet, satisfied with his results. "This isn't so bad, I suppose. What's next?"

Munkustrap blinked, momentarily distracted by the sight of Mistoffelees stretching about while wearing half the costume. No one had ever accused Munkustrap of being impulsive—in fact, mating with his small tuxedo lover happened exactly once a night, in the proper, secluded privacy of his den, on the proper location of his bed—but he had to admit that at the moment, he was feeling a very strange compulsion to leap over to Mistoffelees and lay a very fierce, very passionate kiss on him.

He flushed hotly, drawing his gaze back to the costume pile, and tried to tell himself that his excitement was due to his interest in pirate lore, having spent so much time as a kitten listening to Gus' tales about Growltiger and other fierce feline pirates, and had nothing at all to do with the unexpectedly arousing sight of Mistoffelees innocently donning a pirate costume.

He pulled out a long, thin scarf from the pile of fabric and tossed it to Mistoffelees. It was orange, the same colour as the trousers. "Here, try this on."

"Is this also meant to be a belt?" Mistoffelees asked, puzzled as he unfolded the scarf between his paws.

"It's a bandanna," Munkustrap explained. "You put it around your head, it's what pirates wear. Lower, under your ears—that's it."

The orange fabric was bright against Mistoffelees' black-and-white head fur. He struggled a little with the odd angle to tie a knot in the scarf and Munkustrap stepped over to help him, fastening the knot and making sure the pirate bandanna was on just right. One ear delicately twitched against his touch and his hands lingered a tad too long on Mistoffelees' head fur, the familiar scent of his lover teasing at him. It was all Munkustrap could do to keep himself from purring.

"Thank you, Munk," Mistoffelees said. He probed at the unfamiliar cloth with his claws and smiled at Munkustrap. "This still feels a little strange. Are you sure I don't look silly?"

Munkustrap gulped, and turned his attention back to the costumes, pawing through the clothes to pick out the final part. 'Silly' was definitely not the word he would use to describe Mistoffelees at the moment. "I think you look like a wonderful swashbuckler."

"A what?"

"A swashbuckler!" Munkustrap said. He pulled out a large black-and-green striped tunic and handed it to Mistoffelees. "It's another word for a pirate. Didn't you ever pay attention to Gus' stories? It's not like he hates talking about his role as Growltiger, the terror of the Thames—all that talk about grand adventure and sailing on the seas?"

"I don't care for water," Mistoffelees said, his voice muffled as he struggled to slip on the overlarge garment. "And didn't the story end poorly for Growltiger, anyway?"

"Well, yes, but that's not the point of the story. It's the adventure, the excitement."

"I don't think I've ever heard you get so excited about anything," Mistoffelees said, and cheekily added, "Not even me. Should I be jealous that you find Gus' pirates stories more exciting?"

Mistoffelees finally managed to pop out of the tunic; it was baggy and loose on him, though the overall effect was all Munkustrap needed; he had to admit that he'd always found the idea of pirates to be exciting, a more romanticized version of danger and action than what he was used to expect as protector of the junkyard. The sight of Mistoffelees decked out in the full costume was all he needed to break his composure. Propriety be damned; pirate Mistoffelees was the sexiest thing he'd ever seen.

"You should definitely be," Munkustrap said, answering the small's tom previous question as he absently tugged on a piece of dark red fabric to determine what sort of clothing it was. "Why do you think I insisted to have you try on the costume now?"

"Oh, well in that case…" Mistoffelees said. He smiled coquettishly and twirled in place, taking a few steps forward and then padding around Munkustrap, showing off the makeshift pirate costume as though it were high fashion. "You like this, do you?"

You have no idea. Munkustrap gulped; he would really be lying to himself if he claimed he most certainly did not have a slight fetish for the pirate wear. And if there was one thing Munkustrap did not tolerate in the junkyard, it was lying.

"It's fantastic," Munkustrap said, as Mistoffelees made another twirl around him. The tunic was billowing around his small body as he spun, wafting his alluring scent in the tabby's direction. "Though that shirt is much too large for you, I'm afraid."

Mistoffelees stopped in place, looking down at himself. "Is it so bad?"

"We could fit a whole other Misto in there."

"I'm not that small!"

"Correction," Munkustrap said. Overcome with a sudden cheekiness, he dropped the red fabric and crossed the distance between them in two quick steps. Mistoffelees looked up at him curiously as the tabby lifted the hem of the shirt. "We could fit a whole Munkustrap in there."

Swooping down and then up, Munkustrap slipped himself inside the shirt, dragging himself up against Mistoffelees' soft chest-fur as he went. The neck-hole of the shirt was just barely large enough to accommodate his head, but that just meant his face was now inches from Mistoffelees'.

The smaller tom laughed at the sudden impulse. "Munk, I've never seen you act like this. What is it about pirates that brings out the kitten in you?"

Munkustrap shrugged lightly, straining the fabric around his shoulders. "I suppose I like adventure. Of course, the costume makes you look rather dashing."

"Dashing," Mistoffelees grinned. He moved his face an inch closer, so that Munkustrap felt his whiskers tickling his own. The orange bandanna was still tightly wound around his ears, the extra fabric draping down to brush against his shoulder. "Will you be able to resist ravishing me during the Growltiger song?"

Munkustrap's smile faltered a little. He knew Mistoffelees was jesting, but all the same it did sting a little to be reminded that Munkustrap would never be so impulsive as to step out of character during a song to get frisky with his lover. It was something Tugger did with ease, stepping out of line and traipsing about to do as he pleased with whoever he pleased. However, while everyone knew he and Mistoffelees were mates, he would never dare to flaunt that fact out and open in the junkyard.

Though perhaps under the guise of a fierce pirate, he could vow to become a little silly, a little passionate, and at least steal a kiss from the small tom. He could do it. He would do it. He had a few days before the Jellicle Ball to work up the courage.

As for the present time… "I would never be able to resist you," he said, nuzzling Mistoffelees' neck and pressing a few soft kisses there. The pure white fur was fluffy but thin, and he knew the skin beneath was especially sensitive to touch. In fact, Mistoffelees shivered all over as he gave the soft fur a good long lick with his rough tongue. "So I'd best have my fill of you right away, shouldn't I?"

"A-all right," Mistoffelees said. Munkustrap smiled into the white fur and dragged his fangs through it; when Mistoffelees lost his cheekiness, it was clear he was getting excited.

It was a bit crowded inside the shirt, but at least it forced him to become creative. Mistoffelees was all but trapped between the fabric and Munkustrap's body, pawing uselessly atop the fabric as Munkustrap caressed his body, grazing with his claws and pawing to drive his lover mad with excitement. Following the downward curve of Mistoffelees' spine, he slipped a finger into the tail-hole sewn into the trousers and tickled the base of his lover's tail.

Mistoffelees first tensed with pleasure, then groaned and reared back in an attempt to rub his burgeoning hardness against his mate, yanking on the neck-hole of the shirt in the process. His groan of pleasure was quickly cut off by a loud tearing sound.

The neck-hole of the tunic had been ripped wide open, splitting the seam all the way down to the sleeve. They both blinked at the torn garment for a few moments, before Mistoffelees shrugged and wiggled his arms free.

"That shirt was much too small anyway," he said. The fabric floated down to the ground, bunching around their feet. Mistoffelees sighed happily, glad to be free of the shirt, and reached up to unknot the bandanna from his head.

"No, don't," Munkustrap said, putting a paw up to block Mistoffelees' attempts at removing the orange fabric. "Leave it on. I like it."

Mistoffelees gave him an amused look, but left the bandanna in place. Any teasing remark he may have had was forestalled as Munkustrap brought him closer for a kiss, running his claws delicately up and down his sensitive back.

Mistoffelees' hips began to rock, a wordless signal for what he desired, and all of a sudden the tux groaned with frustration as his erection bumped against the maddening fabric of the trousers instead of Munkustrap's fur.

"Damn costume," Mistoffelees huffed, and Munkustrap had to suppress a smile; he'd never heard Mistoffelees use such a judicious curse before. The smaller tom reached down and pawed at the fabric around his waist, fruitlessly trying to push the trousers off himself but encountering the resistance of the leather belt.

"But I like you in this costume," Munkustrap said, gently pawing at the hardness pressing through the fabric. It was unusual, having a barrier like this between his touch and his mate's body, and he reasoned that maybe the teasing wasn't so bad. It was difficult to get a good grip on the sensitive flesh like this, though he could feel its heat and a growing dampness though the material. Maybe that was why humans enjoyed wearing clothing so much?

Mistoffelees was clearly of a different opinion, groaning again as he tried to push himself further into Munkustrap's grasp. His fingers twitched against the tabby's shoulders. "Munk, just tear the trousers off me. Please."

"I will do no such thing," Munkustrap said, mustering up as much indignation as he could. "A lot of Jellicles worked hard on these costumes. We've already ripped the shirt; I'm not going to destroy the trousers too. I'd have to explain why they've been destroyed."

"If you don't do something soon," Mistoffelees groaned again, bucking free of Munkustrap's touch and instead rubbing on the tabby's thigh, struggling to get enough pressure and friction going. "You're going to have to explain why they've been marked."

Munkustrap couldn't help it now, and chuckled lowly. Truth be told, he was getting rather excited himself, and anxious to do more than just fondle his mate through a barrier of fabric. He made to unfasten the leather strap tied above Mistoffelees' hips, but as he noticed the simplicity of the knot, an idea came to his mind.

Mistoffelees was partly right; all this talk of pirates was bringing out something in him, though it was more of a newly-feisty lover rather than a kitten.

Leaving the belt tied, Munkustrap slowly sank to his knees, leaving Mistoffelees to stare down at him, a little confused about the change in position. He seemed to clue in as Munkustrap's teeth began nipping at the white fur sticking out above the trousers, until his mouth met the edge of the fabric and he fastened his teeth into the leather belt. Mistoffelees had tied a hasty loop, and he hoped it would only take a bit of tugging to get the belt free.

Mistoffelees shifted a bit impatiently against him as he worked his teeth into the leather, pulling down and up to loosen the knot. "You're going to leave fang-holes in that, you know," he said with a small breathless laugh.

Munkustrap shrugged airily. With a final pull, the belt came free. The trousers were so big they instantly fell from Mistoffelees' hips, pooling on the ground on top of the discarded tunic and leaving Munkustrap with unfettered access to his prize. With a small grin of triumph, he leaned it to take Mistoffelees into his mouth, replacing the taste of leather with something much more arousing.

"Oh… Munk!" Mistoffelees shook all over and grabbed Munkustrap's shoulders to steady himself. Munkustrap helpfully held onto the tux's hips as he worked his tongue around the rigid organ, managing to crane his neck just enough to look up at Mistoffelees' expression: eyes tightly shut, and mouth wide open, the orange bandanna swaying on the side of his head as he panted and gently pushed himself into Munkustrap's mouth. The tabby gave a muffled moan; the sight was making his own organ throb with excitement.

Munkustrap released Mistoffelees' erection with a last, slow lick, receiving a small swat from Mistoffelees' tail as the tux groaned in frustration. "That's cruel, Munk," he grumbled. "I suppose this is a very pirate-like behavior."

"Not at all," Munkustrap huskily said. He rose back to his full height, slipping his hands around the tux's rear and lifting him up in such a quick move that he nearly yelped in surprise. "There is nothing a pirate enjoys more than treasure."

His bed was too far, but the pile of costumes was still occupying the centre of his den. A very small battle waged in Munkustrap's mind, wherein he debated whether to risk interrupting the passion, or risk impregnating the costumes with some rather interesting scents. In a split-second, the passion won out, and Munkustrap gently dropped his lover on top of the thickly-cushioning pile.

"I realize pirates are a turn-on for you," Mistoffelees cheekily said, peering down at a set of bright blue trousers beneath his rear. "But now I think you're just exaggerating."

"Am I?" Munkustrap asked as he crawled over the clothing pile to Mistoffelees to kiss him.

"Mmm," Mistoffelees replied. He rather expertly managed to keep the kiss going as he rolled Munkustrap beneath him and swung a leg over the tabby's hips, straddling him as the kiss turned more fevered.

Munkustrap shuddered; now it was his turn to sprawl over the pile of pirate costumes, and he slowly ran his hands up and down Mistoffelees' thighs as the smaller tom ever so gently rocked against his pelvis. The edge of the bandanna, still tied around the tux's head, lightly brushed Munkustrap's neck. The thought of mating with his pirate-Mistoffelees gave him another excited shiver, making him grind up against Mistoffelees.

The small tom broke the kiss with a breathless laugh. "All right, all right. I know what you want, you impatient… swashbuckler."

Munkustrap smiled up at him; he'd never quite admitted it, but this was exactly how he liked it, relinquishing control and letting Mistoffelees take the lead in their coupling. The tabby was an alpha-male in practically every regard, but here, in the privacy of his den, he was more than willing to let another be in charge. And for all that Mistoffelees was quiet and shy out there in the junkyard, in here it was clear he enjoyed taking charge.

Pulse racing, Munkustrap allowed Mistoffelees to take his hand, directing it his rear as he arched his white-tipped tailed out of the way with a flourish. Munkustrap obeyed the wordless instruction, letting his fingers caress their way through soft black fur to brush against the tux's entrance, before reaching down to grasp his own arousal, poised to enter.

Mistoffelees' mouth opened in anticipation, just enough to show a glint of fang. Teasingly, Munkustrap only caressed, not yet penetrating.

"Yes?" the tabby asked cheekily. "Is this what you want?"

Mistoffelees groaned, his tail whipping from side to side. The orange bandanna rippled as he mischievously glared down at Munkustrap. "Since when do you tease, Munk?"

"Since someone's brought out the pirate in me."

With one hand still wrapped around himself, his other reached for Mistoffelees' hip and used it to guide the tux onto his erection. Munkustrap nearly forgot to breathe as he sank into the heat and tightness, raptly watching Mistoffelees as his eyes slid shut again and his brow creased. He looked deep in thought, as though intently focusing on the sensation.

Everything Mistoffelees did looked like dancing, and making love was no exception. Even now, as he sat down on Munkustrap's pelvis with a quiet, pleasured sigh, simply enjoying the connection and twitching hotly around the tabby's length, Munkustrap could see the barely-perceptible movements of his body, the way his neck lolled slowly, and the way his spine undulated slightly, as though testing the moves to a new, unheard music. Even his tail swayed ever so slowly, arching from left to right, leading his hips into much the same, slow rhythm.

And then it really began. Munkustrap tightly held on to Mistoffelees' hips, watching his small lover through hooded eyes as he began to circle his hips, bracing his hands against Munkustrap's striped chest as he lifted himself up and down.

Pirate or no pirate, he was and always would be completely turned on by the small tom.

He doubted he would ever, could ever tire of how beautiful Mistoffelees looked as he rocked on top of Munkustrap, taking the lead in their mating. He certainly doubted he would ever tire of how amazing it felt to be deep inside Mistoffelees, as the small tom controlled the speed of their thrusts, angling himself so his most sensitive inner self would be touched and struck with every twist.

They eyes met and Mistoffelees smiled dazzlingly at him between pants, the bandanna swaying about as the tux rocked up and down. There was always something mischievous about Mistoffelees' smile, even in the middle of lovemaking, a sight that suddenly struck Munkustrap as being very… pirate-like. Spurred on by the thought, his grip tightened around Mistoffelees' hip, his claws unsheathing just so, making the small tom rock even harder against him.

He could tell as soon as Mistoffelees shut his eyes tightly, his brow furrowed, his heavy panting morphing into tiny, stuttered breaths, that he was careening close to orgasm. When the rocking of his hips lost its rhythm, Munkustrap grasped a little harder and helped him keep pace, purposefully sliding his thumb back and forth into the furry hollow of the tux's hip, knowing this was an especially sensitive secret spot. From the way Mistoffelees reacted, the tabby may as well have squeezed his erection; his eyes flew open, he shuddered all over, and he came with a loud whimper, spreading his essence in a graceful arc over Munkustrap's chest.

Mistoffelees continued to move his hips in lazy circles for a few seconds, drawing out his orgasm, until he collapsed forward onto Munkustrap's chest. The tabby held him tightly as his small body continued to spasm with aftershocks of pleasure and nuzzled his head fur, warm and smelling of passion, giving Mistoffelees all the time he needed to catch his breath before seeing to his own pleasure.

He could tell when Mistoffelees had recovered; his tail began to arc again, leading his hips into slow circles, and Munkustrap took that as his cue. Wrapping his arms tightly around Mistoffelees' back, the tabby sat up, mindful not to slip free of the warm body pressed against him, carefully shifting their positions until he could lay Mistoffelees out on the costumes once more. Mistoffelees gave him a fevered smile and wound his fingers into the tabby's head fur as he took over the mating, rocking in and out of Mistoffelees' body with growing speed and fervency.

Munkustrap wrapped his hands securely around Mistoffelees' thighs and kept his eyes on the small tom, loving the way he opened his mouth into a wide, happy smile as his body was shaken by thrusts.

At least, until the pleased expression suddenly turned into one of pain. "Wait… ow!" Mistoffelees cried, digging his claws into the nearest costume.

Munkustrap immediately froze. "Everlasting! Am I hurting you?"

"What? No, not you," the tux said, laughing breathlessly as he stuck his hand beneath his lower back, rummaging around until he'd yanked out the offender: a thick leather pirate belt, with a rather gaudy and jagged buckle. "This thing was stabbing me in the arse."

As Munkustrap chuckled in relief, Mistoffelees straightened out the belt and laid it across his stomach. "There," he cheekily said. "Something else for your pirate fascination."

Too far gone to comment in any meaningful way, because he had to admit the sight was quite alluring, Munkustrap tightened his grip around the slim black thighs and began to thrust again, taken in by the way Mistoffelees' eyes fluttered shut and the way the orange bandanna pooled around his head. Within seconds, Munkustrap's back arched as he climaxed deep inside his small lover with a drawn-out moan.

Bone-weary now, Munkustrap carefully pulled out and flopped down onto the costume pile, sighing as Mistoffelees cuddled against him and rolled his head over to nuzzle at the tabby's neck.

"I suppose we just made the costumes smell very interesting," Mistoffelees said, his voice thick and relaxed. He gave a lopsided grin as he ran his hand down Munkustrap's chest and encountered the sticky mess he'd left there earlier. "It'll drive everyone wild during Growltiger's Last Stand."

"We could sneak them into Tugger's den and put the blame on him," Munkustrap said.

Mistoffelees' body shook with a breathless laugh. "Munk, that is positively unlike you. In fact, that's a very… pirate-like thing to do."

Grinning, Munkustrap hoisted himself up and rolled over on top of Mistoffelees once more. "Then I suppose you can just call me the Terror of the Junkyard. Now… let's try to find you a tunic that fits, so I can tear it off you again. Shall we?"


The End!

Thank you for reading!