It's not every day that you are doused in the face with a concentrated dose of scarecrows newest batch of nightmare inducing crazy juice, but be my lucky day that I got chosen to be the first test subject, now I am swept away in icy blackness on my way to things that could spell my undoing if he were to discover my dark secret... but first the fun tale of how I came to be in this predicament.
Once very long ago there was a revered court jester who was never seen to be upset, nor since his birth had he let a tear fall from his eye, throughout the kingdom and even beyond, men and women of nobility would visit the kings home that the jester performed in throwing huge balls and carnivals all with the main event of watching this cheerful man trip, dance, laugh and sing.
But there were scandals all around the castle the jester resided in, such as the relationship between the queen and said fool, his humorous charm had swayed the queen into his chambers and heart, their affair would last for years, until one day, as the queen was having her evening meal, he asked her to marry him.
She leered and laughed each cackle twisting his heart further and further until snapping it in twain as she said plainly, "that is by far the best joke I have heard from you ever."
With a big smile ripping across his face he howled with laughter ripping a knife from the table and attacked the beautiful woman carving out her black heart. he placed the bloody organ in his chest pocket.
then he remembered that today he was to be the main event at the king and queens special get together, there was to be a very important announcement for all of the lands to hear, he hurried into the court where everyone was waiting for him and began a new act, everyone clapped and hollered at his antics, after a while of jokes and laughs he turned to the king with a wry smile. Starting a series of rhymes that went as so
"There once was a man so gentle yet brave, whose wife would turn her skirts up and misbehave.
"As if it were not bad enough to have a wretch for a mate, but for her to be consorting with a buffoon such as I, now that would be a dreadful state," he began cackling uncontrollably as he brought out the bloodied heart of the kings wife and he spat
"but there is always a fix to an unbearable situation such as this," he turned so all could witness the horror that now filled the kings features, all gasping, women fainting.
"Rip the whores heart from her overpriced rags so she can see her life doesn't mean piss." he ended flinging the vessel down with a splat, laughing all the while.
The kings' eyes were dripping with tears as he stood and stated with confidence.
"it is a sad day when a king and his queen after trying for so long, finally have a chance at giving birth to a child to rule my kingdom when i am gone, and now this man has the Gaul to stand before me and declare the love in making this child was not there, and to take it away out of jealousy is so heart wrenching i know not what to do." he sat back in his throne with a defeated sigh, guards at the ready for any command.
but the jester had been told by his love that the kings loins had grown dry long ago and was not fit for bearing children, they tried many times but only when she would sneak away into the jesters small closet of a chamber would she be able to conceive a child, it was his child forming in her womb, she wore thick gowns so she would not show, only because of the winter harvest did he not ask a reason.
"well looks like the joke is on the queens fool." he muttered slicing his throat as tears ran down his face, one after another in a river smudging his makeup and tinkling to the ground as the most beautiful blue stones known to man, his body evaporated and the only things left behind were 4 stones that would forever be known as "Tears of a Jester".
"or at least that is how the tale is told" I said leaning my head to the side checking my memory to see if I had forgotten anything, just to be distracted by the beautiful green bells that chimed at my movement, using my fingernail I flicked the dyed metal to hear the sound once more, my hat swaying from the weight of the bells that hung from it.
"Uhh boss, I think now would be a good time to make our move," one of my overly paid henchmen piped knowing that it was a mistake soon after. I smirked hearing his teeth grind, standing to my full height of 5'8 I swayed over to him my outfit dancing around me as I brought my long dangerously sharp nails to his face, his eyes focused watching his life play before his eyes, this sense of being drove my adrenaline as i raked his face, using my free hand to dig into his sockets rendering him blind.
"I did not hire you for your thoughts so your ideas are pointless which in turn renders you pointless, so any of you other guys have any ideas?" I asked cutting my dual colored eyes to the rest of my assembled team of thugs. i could see their fore heads wet with uncertainty and they have every right to be. Anyone who saw a woman dressed in a green and purple jesters outfit adorned with all types of fancy trinkets that could be any type of weapon hidden slightly by white sheer straps would be struck with terror once they saw what her eyes held
thick purple diamonds took place of pupils while greens filled the rest of the orb, a birth defect it was called, but i was monstrous to the other children for they shone so brightly, the memory caused a twitch to start in my eye having to concentrate so as not to have it out with the rest of these henchmen, I came to the Gotham museum for the jester tears and I will be damned if I let those creatures get in my way.
"But I will say that he did have a good idea, let's get those tears and remember nothing but the tears or else," I said making a slicing motion with my thumb to show the penalty of death.
I walked past the nodding men to peer over the rooftop we had been standing on waiting for the place of history to close. the guards were not in the best of shape so this would be easy as long as batman didn't show up, the dark knight, Gotham's shinning savior from all who stand against justice and all things good and if you asked me a bloody waste of space, anywhere you go and whatever methods tried, evil and darkness will crawl under the rays of light, corrupting all of the sickening lies of good snuffing out light and all of its misdeeds, no lights were on and security cameras swayed rhythmically doing what they were programmed for. But being standard pieces of crap were nothing that could not be taken care of.
"let's go," I chimed flipping over the ledge and momentarily forgetting all of my plans as the brisk winter air brushed over my skin from my descent towards the dark murky road, almost looking as if it were an undisturbed lake of black sludge just waiting to swallow me up, but of course it wouldn't take me under, it would want to have a laugh at my body broken and dead on its surface, but with my honed reflexes I landed with the grace of a cat silent and ready for any attack.
Not looking back to see the progress of my team i pushed forward giving a huge menacing grin to the guards who noticed me, there were 5 of them at most standing before me on the museums steps. they were shouting warnings noticing my trademark marrotte, one in particular stood forward and shouted "jester give yourself up or we will be forced to use any means necessary to bring you d-" the man stopped, astonished at my speed used to run my marrotes sharp end through his chest, a sucking wet sound was made as I tore the weapon from him, rolled the weapon in my hand and gassed the 2 guards to my right, the last remaining guards ran off for their lives i pointed to them sending a section of my men after them while the other half of my men went to work on destroying any cameras or security devices.
the halls were just like the blue prints depicted a maze leading you through the ages, to the left cavemen fighting for survival against saber tooth tigers, dinosaurs to the right massive, strong creatures driven by instinct alone, my kind of species. I ignored the rest of the extravagant displays until I came to a multicolored corridor with beautifully dressed renaissance characters and paintings all having a small plaque that read some mindless dribble about the person who made it or some other unnecessary fact, and at the end of this hall was a magnificent blue light that shined down on a glass case. Within this case lay the set of four perfectly rounded stones with different hues of blue sprinkled with tiny red specks, absolutely gorgeous.
My enhanced eyes could see the glowing red security rays that if touched would trigger an alarm most assuredly bringing bats and the rest of the pigs. These are the times when I appreciate my deformed eyes, now I can easily weave and jump through the dangerous light without fail. cutting a hole in the glass to pick each pebble from their purple pillow, the blue stones seem to brighten, or maybe its the almost translucent skin of mine, so pale have i become its another haunting effect of mine, it helps strike fear into my enemy.
A flutter brings me whirling around, he is here! Impossible! I did everything right, picked a spot that was way out of reach of any crime lord penguin black mask you name them I have a 10 mile radius they wouldn't come near, not their style of crime, why would he come here, unless he has been watching me, this is most troublesome. I must say that I have prepared for this but I had hoped for better.
"Give up and give me the stones jester, go without a fight and I will try to get you help on your case." his booming voice echoing from the southwest corridor where I had entered from. A shadow towering over me as I made my way back through the lasers not caring if I tripped the alarm. Slipping the stones into my bodice I shook my body playfully and cooed, "Come and get em wing-ding," I ended hurling myself into the upper rafters
He is so cute when he gets flustered, batman and i have been going around for the better part of a year now, and you can see in how he carries himself around me that not catching me once just eats him alive. I wonder if he has nightmares about me. Hmm..
The rafters were spaced methodically, making the attempt to weave between them slightly easier than I expected but then again maintaining distance from the bat has always been more difficult. It feels like everywhere I look there is his shadow,
Click, my legs scream to jump to the next beam but I know that sound, he has deployed his toys and means to capture me, so I take the scenic route and drop down, the exhibit I find myself in is the solar system. I'm crouching on earth as I hear the one sound I was hoping to avoid, that sickening laughter, The Joker.
Standing at the height of six foot in all his purple and green glory was the clown prince of crime, a man who if mentioned in any fashion sends 6 people to the hospital as well as causing mass stampedes, and that just pisses me off.
"now I could stare at a sky like that all day and night, if you get my drift bats!" he giggled looking my stance over the earth very inappropriately, his red lips curving into that sickeningly long smile yet a part of me always wants to touch his teeth, and not necessarily with my hands.
His outburst alerted batman to our location, not far off I could hear him swooping towards this room. Jumping off of the globe I jingled past him without a second glance. The halls were growing longer and longer, the exit should just be up on the right.
BAM!
Ugh! For being tall and skinny the jokers chest was hard as steel. The force from running into him caused me to tumble back, but using the force of the roll I pulled myself back up to a standing position, you never want to be on your back when he is around.
"awe where ya going pink skies?" he asked with a feigned frown closing the distance between us until I could see each and every pore on his ghostly white face,
"What do you want clown?" I asked with an impassive stare.
"I just heard a lot about this new comical thief stealing all of the festive carnival and fool themed items, calling herself "Jester" making joker.." as he said this he grabbed my arm fiercely tightening his grip to try and strike fear into me,"second page news, look doll I like you, ya got spunk but I am front page material, stay off of my turf, or maybe join it?"
batman was so close I could feel the displacement in the air as he barreled down the hall, tearing my arm from him i pulled my arms back hurdling my boots into jokers chest sending him flying backwards slamming into signs that read exit, I ran as fast as my body would let me for the door, hearing him laugh all the while, a batarang had been deployed. the constant whirring gave away that it was just the regular knock you on your ass kind and wake up with a concussion in the back of batman's car heading to Arkham.
Launching myself into a cartwheel I evaded the bat shaped weapon with ease until that dreadful clicking noise turned the items light red, son of a bitch had a batarang that could turn itself into a tracker, zipping right into my forehead knocking me on my back, causing all of the air to leave my lungs.
Not yet unconscious, I laid there hearing my hat jingle from the vibration of hitting a hard surface. Must have been tile I could feel a small trickle of blood fall over the bridge of my nose, sliding down my cheek. I was straining to focus now, a pair of feet stopped in front of my face. The pain in my forehead grew intense as I struggled to turn my head towards the towering figure, blurred greens and purples yet I saw lots of black all smudged into one figure or maybe a Siamese twin?
"Hey bats thanks for the help, I really need to get this one under control, and I mean if she doesn't know her place in this line of work well Gotham would just be insane."
A puff of smoke blasts the hall both shapes scrambling a pair of hands lifting me from the ground, my marrotte pressing tightly against my thigh as I am hurled over a strong shoulder slightly bruising my ribs, the motion jerking my head the right way sending me into blackness. Insane laughter being the last thing I heard.
(thats it for one 2 will be up shortly,let me know what you think,)