Disclaimer: I, as previously implied, am a crazy insane idiotic weirdo. J.K. Rowling is not.
BOING!
Voldemort's curse, intended for Molly Weasley, rebounded off of an extremely powerful shield charm. "Huh? What?" He looked around in confusion. Harry Potter was emerging from under his invisibility cloak.
"Nooooo! My master plan has failed! How could this happen? They've ALWAYS worked before!" He turned dramatically to glare at Harry. "GAH!" he screeched. "WHY ARE YOU STILL ALIVE, YOU IDIOT?! I'VE SHOT THAT STUPID EXCUSE FOR A KILLING CURSE AT YOU FOUR TIMES AND HIT YOU WITH IT TWICE! WHY AREN'T YOU DEAD YET?!"
Harry shrugged. "I'm special."
"Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort shouted. Harry fell to the ground. Many people gasped, and Voldemort opened his mouth to yell in triumph, but Harry sat up, rubbing the back of his head.
"Man, that hurt. Oh, and that's three."
"Huh?"
"Three times you've hit me with that curse."
"GAH!" Voldemort said again. "Avada Kedavra!"
"Four. And you know, that's getting kind of annoying."
"Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra!" Voldemort screamed, advancing with each curse until he was right in Harry's face.
"Five. Six. Seven. Eight." Harry said after each one. Voldemort shoved his wand into Harry's chest.
"AVADA KEDAVRA!"
Harry blinked.
"Nine."
"GAH!" Voldemort yelled a third time. "WHY – WON'T – YOU – DIE – STUPID – BOY?!" he shrieked, whacking Harry over the head with his wand with each word. Then he glared at his wand. "WHY WON'T YOU KILL HIM, YOU STUPID WAND?!" he screamed at it, then furiously snapped it in half over his knee. "YOU USELESS OLD STICK! YOU WORTHLESS DECEIVING PATHETIC UNWORTHY - "
He paused for a moment and glanced down at Harry, who was pointing his wand up at Voldemort's face. Voldemort blinked.
"Oh, crap."
A/N: Happy Christmahanakwanzica! If you want to give me a present, a review for my first ever fanfic would be fantastic! I will reply to every review I get unless its anonymous, and every one is appreciated - even negative ones. (Don't refrain from criticism because you're afraid I'll take it badly. I'll appreciate it.)