Summary: Draco and Hermione talk about what love is by the lakeside. So fluffy you'll get cavities.
READ THE AUTHOR'S NOTE, OR ELSE YOU'LL BE SLIGHTLY CONFUSED WHEN YOU START READING THIS.
Author's Note: Hola! It's been a while since I wrote a Dramione… but, the idea popped into my head last night, and wouldn't leave until I wrote it. I am sorry about the fluffiness, it was 3am when I wrote this, and I was half asleep. .-.
Here is some background info so you don't get confused: This takes place near the end of 6th year, before Draco's task. Instead of Harry finding Draco in the bathroom, it was Hermione. I don't know when Harry finds Draco, but here, I say it was right before Christmas. Hermione consoles Draco, and they become friends. They spend the holiday together at Hogwarts, and they get close, but keep their friendship hidden. I think that's all you really need to know. ^-^
This was sort of based on a Roleplay of mine, but I changed a lot of things, and this was never an actual conversation I had with someone, it was all in my head as a plan of a conversation I could have. I just liked it. Also, I'm sorry about how OOC Draco is… The way I see it, this is the side of him he never shows. It's him with all his defenses down. He's lost in thought, and is sort of just talking without thinking. Please review! And enjoy!
Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING.
They sat beside the lake, the silence heavy, but relaxed. They needed no words, nothing but the others presence to feel content. The silence lasted for a while, until he broke it.
"Have you ever been in love?" He asked her, his head tilted in thought. She looked at him, slightly confused at the question.
"In love? I don't know. Maybe?" She replied, frowning. She didn't get where the talk of love came from. They were only friends. Unless... She thought, as her heart skipped a beat.
"I haven't. I've heard of others, but me... I don't get it."
"Get what?"
"Love. I don't... I don't get it. What is the point of it? Why would you ever give someone something so precious, so personal? Why would you want someone to have so much power over you?"
Her heart fell, and she looked over the lake, trying to think of a good answer for him.
"I don't really know, Draco. I guess it's because you trust them. You trust them enough to never hurt you, trust then enough to give them that ultimate gift, that power over yourself. It's what in love people do. When you trust someone enough, all you can do is give them your heart."
"My parents are in love. Or, I think they are. But they don't trust each other. Nor are they faithful. They hurt each other all the time, they think I don't see, but I do. So I don't get it. I don't get why."
She sighed lightly, and looked at the boy she once hated in pity, and sadness. It was times like this that she remembered he didn't have her loving family growing up, and she dearly wished he did. That he could understand love without having to be told.
"I don't know what to tell you Draco. It's a confusing topic, one not many can answer. Love isn't something to understand. It just is. What brought on this talk of love, anyway?"
"Blaise was saying how much he loved that Weasley girl. Even though his father would never ever approve, he is with her. He could get disowned, yet he doesn't care. Why? I don't get it, why he would do that... My parents would never do that for one another. If mother ever did something improper, Father would leave her faster than you could say Quidditch. Blaise always talks about the Weasley with such warmth. My parents... They were always cool towards one another. I used to think that was what love was, you know, a cool tolerance of someone. You didn't hate them, but you didn't really like them. They merely existed where you existed, and there was nothing you could do about it. That's how... That's how I was always treated, so I thought... But then I came here, and suddenly everyone is talking about love, whether it was how much they love and miss their parents, or how much they love their boy or girlfriend. They would smile, and laugh, and cry over these loves, with no good reason why. I-it doesn't make sense. Love... Pansy once said she loved me. A few other girlfriends did too. But they never would tell me why. I'd ask, and they would just say that they just did. Shouldn't you know? Shouldn't you know why you love someone?"
All throughout his monologue, Hermione kept her eyes on him, seeing the emotions on his usually expressionless face. She saw the confusion, the wonder, the frustration... And all she could feel was sadness. She might not have been friends with him long, and he might be tasked with a terrible mission, but she felt her love for him. It didn't make sense, but it was there. Ever since that night in the bathroom, finding him crying his eyes out, she would feel her heart tug at the sight of him. It didn't take long to realize why. And now, hearing him say he didn't understand love, understand why people would love, the one thing everyone should know... She felt her heart break for him. Moving closer to him, she put her hand on his, making him look up at her with his beautiful grey eyes, which showed his weariness with the world, and the inner sadness that seemed to be a constant for the blond haired boy.
"Sometimes... Sometimes love just is. There's no rhyme to it, no reason. One day, it's not there, and the next it is. One day, you wake up and you just realize. You're in love. And you can't stop it. Can't turn it off. It's just there. All you can do is hope. Hope that the person you love loves you back. Hope that you won't get your heart broken. When you love, you risk everything. Mainly your heart. But it just doesn't matter. If you love someone enough, you know they're worth it, worth the risk. Your parents... They don't really love each other, if they're not willing to do anything for the other."
"Hermione, what if I just don't know how to love? What if that is why I don't understand?" He asked in a small voice, bringing his knees up to his chins, and putting his arms around them. He looked and sounded so much like a lost little boy, that Hermione couldn't help putting her arms around him, not caring about the fact he usually hated to be touched. She knew it was a sign of how deep in thought he was, how upset he was over his thoughts, that he didn't even attempt to pull away, and instead put his arms around her, holding her tightly.
"That's not true, Draco, that's not true at all. You can love. You just haven't found the right person yet. But you will. Someday, you will." She whispered, closing her eyes as she breathed in his musky scent.
"W-what if I already did? What if she is right in front of me, but I just can't see it? What-what if I already missed my chance with her?"
"Don't think that." She chided him lightly, despite the lump in her throat. "If it is meant to be, it will be. Even if she is right in front of you, one day, you'll be able to see. One day you'll see her, and you'll know she's the one."
"What if I am already starting to see, and I'm terrified she won't ever feel the same? What if I'm terrified she'll always see me as an evil Slytherin? That if I tell her, she would just laugh in my face? And I don't even understand why I feel this way. Why I want her, why I... Why I-I love her. I don't understand why I want to go up to her, and just kiss her until she can't breathe. Why I want to say to hell with reason, and just wing it. And I'm terrified of that."
Hermione took a shuddering breath, and tried to hold back the tears. To hear him talk about another woman like this was heartbreaking, but she was his friend, had promised to help him through anything, and so she would. Even if it felt like her heart was ripping in two in the process.
"I know it's scary. It always is. But you just have to say to hell to reason, and go for it. You have to tell them how you feel, before it is too late, and any small chance you had with them is gone. You just have to be brave, and tell them." Hermione said in a strangled voice as a few tears fell, despite the fact she didn't want them to.
She felt him pull back from the hug, and ducked her head so he wouldn't see the tears, but it was too late. Cheeks burning, she kept her head down, until she felt him lift her chin up with his hand. Looking into his eyes, she saw confusion, and worry in them.
"Why are you crying, my pretty girl?" He muttered, as he gently wiped the few tears from her eyes. Her blush deepened.
"I-it's nothing. Just bad memories, is all." She said, praying he wouldn't continue asking. Luckily, he took the hint.
"So, you just tell them? No matter the consequences? No matter that they might not feel the same?" He asked in a low murmur, still looking into her eyes. She felt lost as she stared into his. Distantly, she nodded, though she wasn't quite sure what she was agreeing to.
"But what if I'm scared?"
Snapping out of her daze, she said, "Then you have to pretend you're not."
"Should I do it right now?"
"I-if you want. I-I can wait here, while you go find... Whoever she is. And who knows, maybe-maybe she'll love you too. Maybe..." she trailed off, as more tears fell. She felt like an idiot, crying like this. She felt so... So... Teenaged. It wasn't right for someone of her intelligence to cry over something as silly as a boy.
Wiping her eyes again, he frowned, and took a deep breath. "I love you."
She felt her heart stop, and then speed up. "W-what?" She asked in disbelief, watching his face cloud over, and look away.
"You heard me." He said sullenly. "I love you. Merlin knows I tried not to, but... And now you hate me, don't you? Merlin, I'm such an idiot." He put his head in his hands, clutching his hair lightly. Hermione still stared at him in shock.
After a minute passed, Hermione finally found her tongue. "Do you mean it? That you love me?"
Looking up, he nodded miserably. "I think so. I-I don't really know what love is, but every time I look at you, I get these unpleasant yet not tingles in my gut, and my heart skips a beat, and it's so stupid, but I can't make it stop. Please don't hate me. You're my only friend." He whispered desperately, the look on his face breaking her heart once more. Shifting slightly, she took his hand in hers, causing him to look up at her in shock, and almost fear. She smiled softly at him, unable to keep the love she felt out of her eyes.
"Draco, I could never hate you. I don't know why, and I really can't say when, but I... I think I feel in love with you, too. I'm not certain of love, but everything you said, I've felt. I feel happy when you walk in the room, and disappointed when you leave. I want you so badly it hurts, and I hate to see you sad. When you said you loved someone, I felt my heart break, because I thought that you would never love me." She said softly. He looked at her in wonder.
"Y-you love me too? I thought... Why?"
"I don't know." She laughs slightly. "You're just... You're everything I ever wanted. When you're not being a prat, you're good company. You're intelligent so I can talk to you about most things. You can be kind when you wish to be, and you can be funny. But as to why I fell... I don't know. I just did."
A few moments passed in silence, as the stared at each other, holding hands.
"So what now?" He asked softly, looking deep into her chocolate eyes. She smiled softly at him.
"Again, I don't know. Whatever you want."
"I kind of want to kiss you... May I?"
She nodded, and watched in a slight daze as he came closer to her, until suddenly his mouth was on hers, so soft and sweet, the barest hint of pressure. After a second, she went closer, adding slightly more pressure, and then they were kissing properly. Letting go of his hand, she raised hers to his shoulders, clutching them to keep herself steady. He put his arms around her waist, pulling her closer to him, until they were flush together, their mouths moving silently, desperately.
After a minute, they pulled apart for air, and he rested his forehead against hers.
"I love you." he gasped, still holding her tight. She felt her heart spasm, and she gave him a huge grin, before leaning in to kiss him softly.
"I love you, too."
It was a while later before they broke apart, realizing the time. With a five minute long goodbye, they parted ways, with promises of love passing between them, and telling themselves they'd talk about "them" tomorrow. Right now they were too happy to work out specifics.
As Draco walked to his room, his heart light, and a small smile on his face, he thought he might have finally found what love really was.
And he loved it.