Title: A Trail of Tears
Author: wildwordwomyn
Word Count: 472
Rating: PG for one cuss word and lots of angst
Fandom/Pairing: Being Human (North American version) gen (pre-slash if you squint) starring Aidan/Josh, Sally, mention of Nora and Julia
Disclaimers/Warnings: Spoilers for anything up to "Don't Fear the Scott". No own. Not real.
Author's Notes: This episode just about killed me. I swear I could hear Josh's heart breaking from here!
Summary: What do you do when the pain cuts so deep you can't even cry?
It's only been sixty-three minutes since Aidan left. Not that Josh has been keeping an eye on his wristwatch or anything. That would be something crazy people do. And he's not. Really. Except it's too easy to move his arm up, to catch a glimpse of its digital face adding up the seconds when the house is so damn quiet without the vampire's voice ringing through the walls. He had to get out eventually, although he'd only made it to the stoop out front before he had to sit down to catch his breath. Sally materialized by his side a few minutes ago, looking as shell-shocked as he feels and he has no idea how to comfort her. He keeps wanting to scream Aidan's name to call him back home. Instead he's been grinding his teeth hard enough to make his jaw sore, hoping Sally's too lost in her own grief to notice how much he wishes he could cry.
"We shouldn't have let him go..." Sally's voice is subdued.
"Sally," he sighs, rubbing his forehead, trying unsuccessfully to will away the sudden onset on a fierce headache.
"Maybe you should've tied him to a chair."
"Because that would hold him?" he counters, then closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "I'm sorry."
When he turns to look at her she can tell he means it. She can also tell the pain is worse for him than for her. His stare returns to the street. He's not sure if he can handle anything else right about now.
"We'll be okay, Josh."
He smiles crookedly, unconvincingly. He doesn't believe it. She doesn't even believe it but she smiles back because she knows that's his line.
"Yeah, Sally. We'll be fine."
The problem is Josh keeps thinking about him. He keeps smelling his distinctly strange, earthy scent in the air, mingled with the cologne he wears to seem more human. He keeps seeing his eyes, so mysteriously dark and yet heart-breakingly sad, during those last seconds when he'd practically begged Josh to understand, to let go so he could walk away. Mostly, he keeps thinking about how, despite the strong feelings he has for Nora and Julia, and the sisterly affection he has for Sally, Aidan is the one he loves best. Aidan gets him in a way no one else ever has. He's been there for him unconditionally, going above and beyond the family he had to leave behind. Without Aidan he's not sure he has the strength to be all that he is, to go through the change every month and come back in one piece. Sally will need him more than ever, and that will have to be enough. Only, after this, he doesn't know what he'll do when he needs.
Sixty-four minutes. It's been sixty-four minutes now. And counting...
The End