A/N: I know the title is bad but I swear on my life it was what came on my while I wrote the last few sentences so I was powerless to stop it, I know it's cheesy as fuck but if I didn't it would have been called like 'we can get through this' or some shit and then I would have had Daniel Bedingfield in my head and I'm not ok with that.
Initially it had been simple, fun. We'd spend every day together wrapped only in each other's company but as the years passed the fire that fed our relationship began to wither. It wasn't intentional on either side but it was still there. We were both aware of it but never discussed it, instead we just dealt with it. I hadn't seen her in a week, she'd had to go away for work and although she told me she didn't want to leave me we both knew that her staying would push a wedge further between us. It was simple without her there, I wasn't constantly met with the reminder that we were losing what we once had. It also gave me time to think, time to consider what our lives had become without her sad glances burning into my back. It scared me, the ease at which I accepted her leaving, and the ease at which I had settled into my own company, no matter how short her absence may be. I considered all of this as I sat on the couch, the TV playing a film I had taken little notice of with a mug of tea wrapped between my fingers. I took a sip frowning slightly at the cold liquid, I had been lost in my thoughts and as much as my heart has my drink had gone cold without me noticing.
I heard a key in the lock and jumped slightly at the speed of her return, the week had flown by, faster than I thought it would. Where I knew I should feel excitement of her arrival I was only made more aware of the numb feeling within my chest. Placing my mug on the table I stood to meet her. She came through the door, her eyes focused on her feet as she attempted to kick off her shoes. Finally she managed, sighing to herself as she raised her gaze to meet mine. Her eyes were burning with a fire I hadn't seen in a long time and I felt a strange surge of emotions at the sight of it.
"We need to talk" quickly she gestured to the couch. I followed her instructions feeling a surge of apprehension toward her almost business-like manner. She took a seat on the edge of the table in front of me, she turned the remote toward the TV and I watched as the screen turned black. She placed the remote back on the table before turning her focus onto me. She watched me for a moment, studying my expression, my features as I attempted to decipher the fire behind her eyes. A small sigh of exasperation fell from her lips as she dropped her head, her hand coming up to rub her tired eyes.
"What's going on Pez?" I couldn't bear the silence anymore, I had to know. She raised her gaze to mine, her eyes sparkling and despite myself I couldn't help but be drawn into the depths of her soul.
"I know things haven't been right between us for a while, you know it, I know it but we keep pretending, keep putting up this façade to each other even though we can both see right through it" She sighed again and I could feel my hands getting clammy, nervousness invading my body.
"I've been lazy, I know I have. I've been too focused on work when I should be focused on you and I haven't tried to free up the time that you deserve. I've been shit and I've fucked things up, it's taken me leaving to realise that and I'm sorry I didn't see it earlier" I could feel the lump in my throat building as I watched her eyes begin to fill. I looked down at her hands as she fiddled nervously wringing her fingers together. I reached forward taking her hands in mine, her eyes widened slightly at the gesture and I felt my heart break at her surprise.
"Neither of us tried hard enough Perrie" I meant it lovingly, I meant to take the blame from her but as my words met her ears her face dropped.
"You make it sound like it's already over" her voice broke as she quietly muttered the words. I opened my mouth to tell her that I didn't mean that but her words stopped me.
"I love you Jade. I've always loved you with everything that I am and I've been so scared to admit that we've been losing each other for a while now but if you'll let me I want to try and save this, I want to try to save us. I understand if you don't want to and I'm sorry if that's my fault but I love you and I want to fix this" I could see her getting ready to ramble again and it killed me to see the hurt in her eyes. Even though I had come to accept the way our relationship had been lately the thought of her not being in my life, not being there scared me. I did love her, I had always loved her but we'd just gotten lost along the way.
"Perrie, I love you too" I watched as a tear ran down her cheek, her expression still sombre as she gazed at our hands still linked together as though it were the most fascinating thing she'd ever seen. I felt my own tears begin to fall as I moved toward her, I took my hands from hers and she looked up to meet my gaze, her eyes wide with fear. Slowly I knelt in front of her; she watched every movement intently as I raised my hands to her face slowly wiping her tears before cupping her face. I watched as her eyes slowly fluttered closed, her shoulders slumping forward as she leant against my hand her expression taking on a deceptive form of serenity. Taking hold of her hands in mine I sat back on the couch, composing myself as best I could.
"Look at me Perrie" she took a raged breath, her shoulders shaking slightly before she opened her eyes to meet mine. "I love you too and all I want is to work at this, we've both been lazy, this isn't all on you ok?" she nodded slowly biting her lip as more tears threatened to spill from her eyes. I could hear my voice screaming at me inside of my head, I was thinking too much, thinking too much about the numb feeling instead of letting in the rush of emotions threatening to flood my heart. I sat for a moment finding comfort in her hands laced between my own.
"Come here Perrie" I spoke softly as I lay down on the couch, gently pulling her with me. She curled up against my body and I found myself getting emotional at how easily our bodies fit together, I hated that I'd let myself forget that. We lay silently for a while, me watching her. She was watching her fingers intently as they gently traced my collarbone as if she were re-learning every inch of my body.
"I love you Pez" I whispered the words not wanting to shatter the delicate moment. Her eyes rose to meet mine, a new warmth lay behind them, warmth that I was determined to always keep there.
"I love you too Jadey" I watched as she smiled. Her smiles recently had been tight, reserved but this was bright and radiant and I found my own lips responding as a grin painted my own features. I leant down capturing her lips with my own and I felt her breath hitch before her body melted against mine. I felt it then, the barrier break as every inch of my body was flooded by every emotion I'd stupidly let myself forget. The kiss was more than any kiss we had shared in a long time, it was so much more than a quick goodbye kiss before heading off to work, this kiss was laced with love and desire. It was the first time I'd felt content in a long time.
I made my way into the living seeing Perrie sat on the couch grinning at her laptop. I made my way over to her,
"What're you grinning about?" She turned to smile at me before closing the laptop lid, I frowned as I sat beside her stretching my legs out over hers. "Well?" she laughed lightly at my frustration.
"Nothing, just making plans for tonight"
"We went out for a meal last night and we've done something pretty much every night for the past few weeks. We don't have to do something every night, everything's going great, we could just spend the night in, just the two of us" I shuffled closer to her wrapping my arms around her neck and placing a kiss on her lips. She smiled into the kiss before pulling away.
"Nope, we can stay in any night, just the two of us" I laughed at her over exaggerated wink "but I have something really special planned for tonight, trust me you're going to love it" I frowned slightly,
"Do I not even get a clue?" I watched as her eyes brightened, she was loving this.
"Sorry babe, you're just going to have to wait" her grin had the mischievous hint that had me worried, I let a pout form and put on my puppy dog eyes.
"Not even one little clue?" she laughed lightly,
"Not even one, now come on you better get ready" she threw my legs off her as she jumped up heading toward the bedroom "wear something you can dance in" she threw a smirk over her shoulder as she rounded the corner. I simply sat in silence wondering what the hell I'd gotten myself into.
"Come on Perrie, can I know where we're going now? Please!" I watched frantically out of the window as the taxi drove through the city. Perrie simply laughed, placing a soft kiss on my lips before leaving me to my guessing game. "Wear something you can dance in, are we going to a club?" I turned to Perrie but her poker face again proved unreadable. Sighing I continued to watch out of the window as the busy city rushed past us. The lights blending throwing an unnatural glow over everything it touched, slowly we began to make our way into the city centre and I knew we were getting closer.
"We're here" the taxi driver informed us as Perrie handed him the money I stared up at the arena we'd pulled up outside of. I took Perrie's hand as she helped me out of the taxi before leading me through the doors and toward the sound of music. I could feel myself getting giddy, Perrie simply smiled as she guided me through the twisting corridors. Eventually she guided me through a set of doors toward a huge crowd of people dancing and singing along to the music that filled the room as though it were oxygen. I stopped as I stared at the stage my jaw hitting the floor, I quickly turned round to Perrie.
"You brought me to a Beyonce gig?" her grin said it all and I couldn't help but jump into her arms, I wanted to express just how much this meant to me but I couldn't form words that could adequately express my gratitude. I'd have to come up with something pretty special to top this. Placing me back on the ground she just laughed as she began guiding me through the crowd of dancing fans to a spot where we could see the dancers and could feel the music travel from the speakers and bounce off every person in the arena.
I was quickly lost in the joy of the night, dancing alongside Perrie as we both sang along feeling completely at home in the midst of the manic crowd. I felt Perrie move behind me in an attempt to find my ear,
"I'm going to get us a drink, ok?" I nodded, leaning back to give her a quick kiss before moving my attention back to the stage.
I was just enjoying the music but I kept getting distracted by someone to the side of me, I could feel their eyes boring into me and although at first I ignored it after a while it became hard to ignore. I stole a quick glance to my right and was immediately met by a set of eyes in the crowd. She was an attractive girl, that were clear and if it weren't for Perrie or the fact that she were looking at me as though I were a piece of meat I would have been intrigued, instead I felt immediately uncomfortable under her gaze. A sly smile spread across her face and she began slinking through the crowd toward me. I attempted to move further away but there was nowhere for me to go, I couldn't get through the crowds. I felt panic begin to rise and silently begged for Perrie to appear. The girl reached me and I glanced up at her cringing under her predatory glare, she slipped behind me, wrapping her arms around me tight. I tried to move but found that my arms were being pinned to my chest, I could feel her hot breath against my neck as she found my ear. I tried to shrink away from her but she held me close restricting my movements.
"Shame your girlfriend left you" I felt her hand trace the exposed skin between my jeans and top and I shivered in disgust "don't worry, I'll look after you, I'm sure we can find something to keep ourselves busy". I wanted to throw up; I could hear my heartbeat in my ears as my body screamed to find an escape. One of her hands ran under my top exposing my stomach as she made her way up my torso, I shivered as she placed a kiss against my neck. I was about to scream, to scream so loud that surely someone would hear and be alerted but before I had built it up in my throat I was thrown sideways and into a man who frowned as he helped steady me. I muttered an apology before turning to see what had happened, I could see Perrie stood with her fists clenched tight at her side, her back straight as she stared the girl down. I'd never before seen Perrie in an intimidating manner but holy shit she was actually scary. I took a step toward and could faintly make out her words.
"You listen to me you fucking bitch if you ever touch her again I-" Perrie took hold of the girls shirt in her fist pulling her tight against her as she whispered the rest of her threat in her ear. I couldn't make out what she'd said but I watched the girls eyes widen in fear, Perrie shoved her viscously backward as she stood her ground waiting until the girl was no longer in sight. I felt an explosion of feelings then, I'd never seen Perrie stand my ground so fiercely and after all of the trouble we'd had in the past few months I'd given up on our relationship. I would never have expected this to be happening, for her to put herself in harm's way to protect me, it felt like someone had ripped some sort of casing off my heart that I didn't even know was there and I was hit by a feeling of pure love and admiration.
I watched in awe as Perrie turned round to face me, her eyes widened immediately as she saw me tears streaming down my face and immediately she hurried to me taking my hands in hers she checked me over before pulling me into her arms. I was so numb with love that I could do nothing more than cry in her arms.
"Did she do anything to you Jade? Anything at all?" her voice was filled with a mixture of anger and worry, so much worry. She held me by my shoulders gazing into my eyes as I shook my head, she frowned, confusion and concern clouding her features. "Then why are you crying?" I pulled her tight against me, holding her as tight as I physically could.
"The way you did that, the way you protected me with no regard to your own safety. It's just no one's ever done that for me before and-" I pulled back so I could look her in the eyes. The entire room melted away, I couldn't see the people moving around us or hear the music, everything was muffled except for Perrie, she was the only form of clarity. "I love you so much, more than anything in the whole world. I love you and I don't want to lose you, I can't lose you" I could feel the tears again as I tried to find words that would express my love, there were no words though that could fully express the emotions in my heart. Somehow though she understood, understood as though she could read every thought that crossed my mind, could see every emotion as it was formed, she just knew.
"You'll never lose me. I love you Jade and I'm never going to let anything get between us again, ever" despite the tears forming in her eyes she smiled pulling me to her, her lips meeting mine in an explosion of love, in the purist form. Nothing tainted it, no selfishness, no ulterior desires just the love between two people experienced purely and simultaneously.