Not In Ohio Anymore

by TheSkyWriter

Rachel just wanted to go home. After a fall into a magical land called Oz, she must journey to the Emerald City and meet the Wizard of Oz, who she is told has the power to send her back to Ohio. Along the way she meets and befriends the most unusual people and stumbles across the most strange places. On the entire trip, all she knows is this, this 'Oz', is nothing like Ohio! R&R!

I couldn't get this out of my head. Forgive me, possibly?

Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or The Wizard of Oz. Ohhh, but if I did...Ooohhh...

"She must've hit her head really hard.."

"Don't worry, Brittany, she'll come around."

"I'm so glad you came, Kurt."

"And miss this? Ha! As if!" The voices above her, or this one in paticular, laughed. "Just what happened, anyway?"

"It was the greatest thing, Kurt! Sandbags, with the weight of a house, just fell out of the sky, like from a star, right on her head! And then she fell with them, but landed over here!"

"Are you sure she's dead?"

"Mm-hmm! Lord Tubbington was with the coroner while he looked her over. I couldn't go over there myself, too horrible, but they confirmed that the Witch is in fact dead!"

"Crushed?"

"No, Lord Tubbington said it was 'blunt-force trauma', or some other chizz. Anyway, she's dead! What more of a wish could have been granted?"

"It truly was a miracle."

"Shouldn't we tell your mother about this...?"

"No! Not yet, at least. Not until the girl wakes up, and gets her bearings. Falling from the sky!"

"Do you think she could be a witch too? Maybe she fell off her broomstick or the aliens dropped her!"

"After what happened today Britt, I'll believe anything."

"Ooh, I think she's waking up, Kurt!"

"Britt, wait! Where are you going? Britt!"

Rachel groaned, blinking her eyes open groggily. What happened to her? The world swam in a multitude of bright colors, and it made her nogin hurt. She squeezed her eyes shut again out of pain. "Miss? Are you going to faint again? Hello? Can you hear me? Can you understand me? Miss?" There was a light tapping on her face, on her nose tip to be exact. Rachel groaned again, grasping her head. "Miss?"

"What? Yes, I can under-" Rachel sat up, opening her eyes and trailing off forlornly at the boy in front of her. He smiled tentavely at her, offering his hand to help her up.

He was stunning. Perfectly styled chestnut brown hair with lighter undertones, a flawless porcelain glass complextion, rosy cheeks, kissable thin pink lips, two neatly sculpted eyebrows, and beautiful almond shaped glasz eyes, the colors inside his irises swirling continously but lazily. His eyes were never the same color twice out of three colors. One second they would be bright green, then soft sky blue, dazzling silver after that, the colors blending and changing in a never ending cycle. He was dressed in a silk white shirt with an emerald leather vest, a pair of black trousers that were form fitting, a set of black boots with silver buckles, and an emerald cloak. His lips were curled upward into a small smile, and his hand was still outstretched toward her. Rachel blushed, and took his hand, allowing him to help her to her feet, where she noticed that in his other hand was a long crystal wand the length of her forearm.

"Hello." He said politely.

"Hi." Rachel returned the greeting.

"Ask her if she's a good witch or a bad witch!" A feminine voice hissed from the bushes. The boy rolled his eyes at the voice in the bushes. Rachel noted that his ears were slightly pointed, like an elf's.

"I'm guessing you've heard what I'm supposed to ask you?" He told her with a raised eyebrow. Rachel nodded. "So, which type of witch are you?"

"I'm not a witch. My name is Rachel Berry, and I'm from Ohio." Rachel introduced herself. "Nice to meet you." She stuck her hand out to shake, which the boy took (Rachel really should stop thinking of him as a boy, he looked like he was either her age or a little older.), and shook firmly. Rachel blushed lightly at the warmth that radiated throughout her arm at the contact. She made a face. "Witches are old and ugly and mean."

The boy(She really should stop doing that.) chuckled, but a blonde charged out of the rose bush and pointed an accusatory finger right in Rachel's face. It was easy to see that she was not happy with her. At all. "That's very mean, Rachel Berry, and I think you should apologize. Like, right now." She commanded.

"Umm.." Rachel tucked a lock of her brown hair behind her ear.

"Brittany, it's fine." The bo-teenager coaxed. "She doesn't know, that much is obvious. Did you think about the fact that maybe her only expierence with witches are the wicked kind?" Brittany shrank back. "You'll have to forgive her, she was so upset because I am a witch. I'm Kurt, the Good Witch of the North."

"No, you-" Kurt shushed Brittany with a coy smile and his wand tip pressing against her lips.

"You?" Rachel gasped, taking no notice of the exchange between the two of them. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I've just, I've never heard of a beautiful witch before, or a boy witch either!" Rachel quickly apologized, the blushed again once she realized what she said. Kurt beamed, and Brittany made an 'Aww!' sound.

"Only bad witches are ugly, Rachel. And, yes, I'm the first male witch in history." Kurt replied with a warm smile.

"I'm sorry I accused you of being a witch, Rachel Berry of the star Ohio." Brittany apologized. Rachel shot a confused look to Kurt, but he was now looking at her with a newfound intrest. Like she was a puzzle he was attempting to solve. His wand was tapping silently against his empty palm, sparkles glittering off the end. "I'm really confused though. How did you drop all those bags on the Wicked Witch of the East?"

"Wicked Witch of the East?" Rachel asked, furrowing her brow. "What wicked witch?"

"The Wicked Witch, Rachel." Kurt explained. Rachel was startled by the sudden burst of music, but Kurt wasn't suprised. He rolled his eyes fondly.

(Brittany, Kurt, Both)

"Once there was a Wicked Witch in the lovely land of Oz.

And wickeder wickeder wickeder witch there never ever was." Brittany sang, pulling Kurt in for a dance. He laughed and danced along with her. There was reason to celebrate.

"She filled the folks in Munchkinland with terror, and with dread!

'Til one fine day from Ohio, a load of bags fell on her head!

And the coroner pronounced her, dead!" They pointed toward a pile of sandbags, with a body crushed underneath. The only things visible were her feet, a gleaming pair of bright red slippers adorned on them. Rachel gasped in horror.

"And through the town the joyous news went runnin'!" Brittany raced across the village that Rachel hadn't realized they were in, knocking on doors. Little people fell out of them, staring up at her with big eyes like a leader. Maybe she was the mayor of this, 'Munchkin Land'.

"The joyous news that the Wicked ol' Witch is finally done in!"

The Munchkins went wild at hearing the news, cheering and appluading loudly. Kurt laughed. Rachel found herself loving the sound.

"Ding dong, the Witch is dead!

Which old witch?

Well, uh, the Wicked Witch!

Oh! Ding dong, the Wicked ol' Witch is dead! (Oh yeah, happy day!)" Kurt and Brittany returned to the middle of the village were Rachel was standing, dancing happily with one another as the Munchkins were celebrating the death of the Wicked Witch around them. Some danced, some sang, some just cheered.

"Wake up, you sleepy head!

Rub your eyes, get outta that bed!

Wake up, the Wicked Witch is dead!

She's gone where the goblins go, below, below below, yo-ho!

Let's open up and sing, and ring those bells out!

Sing the news out!

Ding dong the merry oh! Sing it high, or sing it low!

Let them know the Wicked ol' Witch is dead!

Why, everyone's glad that she took such a crowning!

Getting hit by heavy bags is even worse than drowning!

Let all know the Wicked ol' Witch is deeeeaaaad!"

The two barely even finished the note of the song and made it back to Rachel, all the townsfolk delighted at the news of the Witch being dead, when a blast of bright red smoke soared up into the sky behind the crowd. The munchkins screamed and ran, or just collapsed and played dead where they stood. Brittany was in the latter group, backing up a step or two in fright before completely fainting. Rachel screamed and ran right to Kurt, who caught her and held her close, his eyes wide and alarmed. Rachel shrank in terror when the smoke cleared and the person who caused it was revealed. Kurt tensed but his face remained as hard as stone.

It was a woman, dressed in all black. A deep black dress, cloak, and even a black conical hat with a black train, adorned her body. Her face was bright neon red, as were her hands, and in her hands was a large broomstick. She walked over to the body of the Witch of the East and examined her closely, her red face morphing into a scowl. "I thought you said she was dead." Rachel whimpered to Kurt.

"That was her sister, I'm afraid." He replied. "The Wicked Witch of the East. This is the Wicked Witch of the West, and she's much worse than the other."

"Who killed my sister?" The witch sneered, creeping up to Rachel and Kurt. Now that she was closer, Rachel could see a mop of scraggly blonde hair underneath the hat to match the straw from her broomstick, and blue eyes that were so cold Rachel had to supress a shiver, and were filled with barely contained rage. "Who killed the Witch of the East? Was it you?!" The sneer morped into a snarl, her eyes locked on Rachel. Kurt drew her back gently, crossing his wand over Rachel's chest to protect her.

"No-no!" Rachel shook her head rapidly. "It-It was an accident! I didn't mean to kill anyone!"

"Well, little girl, I can cause accidents, too!" The wicked witch hissed.

"Aren't you forgetting the ruby slippers?" Kurt interrupted, a smile tugging at his lips.

"The slippers!" Giddy realization crossed her face. "Yes! The slippers.." She stalked away, towards the dead body of her sister, where the slippers Kurt mentioned gleamed prettily in the sun.

Until they didn't. The slippers vanished out of thin air, the feet of the body recoiling underneath the bags grossly. "The slippers!" The Wicked Witch screeched. "They're gone! What have you done with them, you no good-" As she fumed, she raced back to Kurt and Rachel with absoulute rage on her ruby face.

"It's too late!" Kurt interrupted her, pointing with his wand to Rachel's feet. "There they are, and there they'll stay!" Rachel gasped.

On her feet and replacing the normal heels she usually wore were the ruby slippers. She looked at Kurt, who grinned back at her and winked. She recoiled into him when the witch stepped closer. "Give me my slippers! I'm the only one who knows how they work! Give them back, right now little lady!"

"Don't take them off!" Kurt whispered urgently in her ear. "If she wants them so much, their magic must be extremely strong if that's the case!"

"You stay out of this, Kurt! Or I'll break you like porcelain glass!" The Wicked Witch snapped, pointing an accusatory finger right in his face. Kurt didn't even blink. He did the exact opposite.

Kurt chuckled as if the threat amused him. "Hardly, Sue! You've got no power here! Now get lost, before someone else drops a load of sandbags on you!" The witch, or Sue, as Kurt called her, fliched violently, and checked the sky above her as if she were in danger of being squashed.

"Alright. I'll plan my next move out." Sue grumbled. "But, as for you my petty Jewish girl, it's not wrong I can't take care of you right here right now, but just attempt to avoid me for very much longer. Just try!" Sue's rotten apple red lips quirked up into a dangerous smirk. Kurt narrowed his eyes. "I'll get you my little lady, and those slippers, too!" Cackling, she turned tail and, as soon as she reached the end of the square, disappeared into another explosion of red smoke.

"You all can get up now, she's gone!" Kurt called, then went to help Brittany back on her feet. "She's left, you can all stand up!" The Munchkins who dove for cover stood up slowly stood up, thier eyes shifting left and right nervously as the others that had made a break for it returned to the square. Brittany shook her head to clear it and looked at Kurt sadly.

"I don't like her, Kurt. She's meaner than her sister." Brittany told him.

"Tell me something I don't know, Britt." Kurt replied.

"Lord Tubbington met a talking tiger once." Kurt blinked at that information, then shook his head, not bothering to question it.

"Ugh!" Kurt gagged, wrinkling his nose. "That stupid sulfur smell!" He shook his head again, then turned his attention to Rachel, who was looking at him in fear. "I'm sorry to tell you this, but you made a bad enemy out of the Wicked Witch of the West today, Rachel. The sooner you're out of Oz altogether, the safer you'll be." Why did Kurt look sad at this prospect?

"I just wanna go home." Rachel replied. "But, which way is home? I can't go the way I got here."

"That's true." Kurt looked thoughtfully at her, biting his lip. Rachel couldn't help but think how cute he looked doing it. "The only person I can think of is the Wizard of Oz himself." All the Munchkins, even Brittany, bowed at the person Kurt was describing.

"Wizard of Oz?" Rachel asked. "Is he good or wicked?"

Kurt grinned. "He's good, but also very strange and mysterious."

"He lives in the Emerald City, and that's a long ways from here." Brittany added. "Did you bring your broomstick with you when you fell from the Ohio Star?"

Rachel shook her head. She'd learned quickly it was easier to go along with what she said. "No, I didn't."

"Well, you can go to Kurt's m-" Kurt silenced her with a look.

"You'll have to walk then." Kurt told her, thoroughly silencing the Mayoress of Munchkin Land. Brittany glared at the back of his head. "And since you were just threatened by a wicked witch," Kurt waved his wand over the two of them, smiling the entire time. Rachel's clothes changed to a long bright red travler's dress and black cloak, to match the ruby slippers that were now hers, and a satchel appeared on Kurt's hip, which he slipped his wand into. "I will be going with you." Kurt grinned.

"But, if you're a witch, can't you just teleport us to the Emerald City?" Rachel asked.

"No, I wish I could. The Emerald City has a barrier of magic that keeps witches out. It was made when the Wicked Witches came to power." Kurt explained with a sad shrug. "Walking is our only choice I'm afraid." Rachel sighed but nodded.

"But how do we get to the Emerald City?" Rachel asked. "Where do we even start?" Kurt opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off.

"You start at the beginning, of course!" Brittany chirped, racing forward with a bundle and a fat tabby cat in her arms. "The fastest way to the Emerald City on foot is by the Yellow Brick Road." She handed Kurt the bundle. "Some provisions, food, water and whatnot. And here!" As Kurt placed the provisions in the satchel, Brittany placed the cat in Rachel's arms. "Take Lord Tubbington with you. He's been aching for an adventure ever since he met the talking tiger and they went under the sea to meet the mermaid princess!" Kurt and Rachel shared a look and the Witch of the North shrugged, as if saying what could it hurt? "He won't slow you down, I promise."

"Thank you, Britt." Kurt smiled at the Mayoress.

"Just stick to the Yellow Brick Road and to eachother and you should be fine." Brittany commanded, more seriously than she had been the entire day. And the day wasn't even over. "Now get going, you have a long way to go!" She ushered them to the start of the path, which, oddly enough started out as a spiral until it wove out into a full path and left Munchkin territory. "Follow the Yellow Brick Road." She reminded them, pushing them off and disappearing. Kurt smiled at his friend then turned to Rachel, offering his arm. Rachel linked arms with him and they started on.

It wasn't a minute later that another Munchkin stopped them. "Follow the Yellow Brick Road." He told them, and let them pass. Kurt and Rachel continued on, only to be stopped thirty seconds later.

"Follow the Yellow Brick Road!" The female Munchkin squeaked, then scurried off. Kurt chuckled.

Then, ten seconds later, they were stopped again. "Follow the Yellow Brick Road!" The male Munchkin reminded them in a funny voice that wobbled. Rachel set down Lord Tubbington, who stretched then followed Kurt and Rachel as they continued on as the Munchkins began to sing. Kurt laughed. Rachel started to smile.

(The Munchkins)

"Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Follow the Yellow Brick Road

Follow Follow Follow Follow Follow the Yellow Brick Road,

Follow the Yellow Brick, Follow the Yellow Brick, Follow the Yellow Brick Road,"

Kurt and Rachel started gracefully skipping down the path, laughing the entire time while Lord Tubbington followed easily beside them.

"You're off to see the Wizard,

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

Who kindly is a wiz of a Wiz if ever a wiz there was

If ever, oh ever a Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because,

Becuase because because, Because of the wonderful things he does!

You're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

Kurt and Rachel turned as soon as they breached the border of the Munchkin Land and waved back at thier new friends. If there ever was a right way to make an exit, that would have been it. Kurt gave Rachel a dazzling smile that practically melted her heart and re-offered his arm to her. Rachel took it and they continued on thier way, Mayoress Brittany's tabby cat following behind them.

NIOA

"Kurt."

"Yeah, Rachel?" Kurt looked up from the satchel, and immediately saw the problem.

It had been a few hours since the pair had left Munchkin Land. Up ahead, past a small cornfield with a scarecrow hanging on a post, the Yellow Brick Road divided into separate pathways, each going in a new and different direction. "Oh dear." Kurt sighed. He'd been afraid of this.

"Don't you know the way? Which way do we go?" Rachel demanded.

"I've never been on foot, Rachel!" Kurt retorted. "So no, I don't know the way and I don't know which way to go!"

"What kind of Good Witch of the North are you if you can't escort me to the Emerald City without us getting lost!" Rachel cried.

"Not the real one!" Kurt shouted back at her, not realizing what he just said. Shock crossed his face and he covered his mouth with his hand. "N-Never mind, l-let's just find a wa-way-"

"Excuse me, but this way might do nicely." A voice that wasn't Kurt's and sure as heck wasn't Rachel's called. Kurt looked over Rachel's shoulder at the scarecrow on the post, who's left arm was pointing down the left side path. Kurt frowned. His arm wasn't up before-

Rachel turned around and saw what Kurt was looking at. "Don't be ridiculous, Kurt, scarecrows can't talk."

"Says the girl who fell from the sky. And who's talking to a witch." Kurt retorted.

"Apparently not the-"

"But it's alright down this way too." The voice said again. Kurt and Rachel's attention snapped back to the scarecrow, whose right arm was pointing down the right-side path.

Without taking her eyes off the scarecrow, Rachel said to Kurt. "That's weird. Wasn't he just pointing the other way?" Kurt hummed in agreement, staring at the straw-made man.

"Of course, travelers do take both paths sometimes." The Scarecrow said, crossing his arms to point in both directions. Rachel gasped. Kurt blinked in surprise.

"So it was you!" Kurt said, walking up to the Scarecrow and looking up at him. The Scarecrow shook his head, then nodded at Kurt.

"Are you doing that on purpose?" Rachel asked, going and standing beside Kurt.

"Or can't you make up your mind?" Kurt continued.

"That's the trouble." The Scarecrow dropped his arms. He was a typical scarecrow, with a pebble for a nose and dark eyes, dressed in old cloths and gloves for hands with bits of straw sticking out of random places. "I can't make up my mind. I don't have a brain, only straw is up in this haysack." The Scarecrow lifted his hat on one side to reveal a spindle of straw coming out of his hat.

"But, how can you talk if you haven't got a brain?" Kurt asked curiously.

"I'm not sure on that one actually." The Scarecrow answered honestly, scratching his haysack head. "But, I've noticed that people without brains do an awful lot of talking."

Kurt laughed, and Rachel giggled. "Story of my life, pal." Kurt replied with an amused and warm smile. Rachel and Kurt hopped the fence and strolled up to the Scarecrow, smiling up at him. Lord Tubbington just hopped up on the fence post and sat there, watching with big green eyes. "This is Rachel, and I'm Kurt." Kurt introduced them.

"Finn, how do you do?" The Scare-Finn, replied.

"Very well, and you?" Rachel answered with a smile.

"Not so much up here." Finn sighed sadly. "It hard being up here all day with a pole stuck up your shirt and rubbing against your back."

"Oh, that has to be uncomfortable." Rachel sympathized.

"Can't you get down?" Kurt asked.

"Down?" Finn repeated, and he started wiggling. "No, see I'm nailed here and-"

"Here, let us help you!" Kurt got on one side of the pole back and Rachel got on the other. Rachel started moving the straw around to see how they could get Finn off, but she gave up with a harrumph. "I don't see how I can-"

"Here, I've got this." Kurt declared, digging in the satchel and pulling out his wand. "Back up a little, Rachel."

"What's he doing?" Finn asked, trying to stretch around to see.

"Hold on tight, Finn!" Kurt warned, pointing his wand at the pole. Silver sparks flew out of the end of his wand tip and wrapped around the pole. The post vanished into thin air, and Finn clumsily landed in a heap on the field floor with a "Woah!" Kurt ran to the scarecrow, sliding his wand back in his satchel, his cloak billowing out as he ran.

"Ha!" Finn laughed. "There goes some of me again!" A bundle of straw had fallen out of Finn's shirt when he'd fallen off the post.

"Does it hurt?" Kurt demanded, scared that his use of magic might have hurt his new friend.

"Nah." Finn shook his head. "I just have to pick it up and put it back in again." He did as he told them, laughing and spinning in a circle. "My, it's good to be free!" He tumbled over the fence post, causing Rachel to squeak in fright and the witch and Ohio girl to race after him. "Did I scare you?" Finn asked hopefully as they kneeled down beside him.

"No, not at all." Kurt shook his head.

"We were just worried that you'd hurt yourself." Rachel added.

"But I didn't scare you?" Finn's face fell. They shook their heads. Finn bowed his head sadly. "I didn't think so."

"Why were you wondering if you scared us?" Rachel demanded.

"Why were you trying to scare us?" Kurt clarified.

"The stupid crows." Finn sighed. "Actually, since they have brains and I don't that must mean they're smarter than me, or-whatever!" Finn huffed. "I can't protect the corn if I can't scare the crows away and I can't scare the crows away if I don't have a brain!" Finn slumped. "I'm a huge failure because I don't have a functioning nogin in my haysack head." Kurt and Rachel shared a sympathetic look. The witch patted the scarecrow's shoulder and Rachel just sighed.

"Don't feel so bad, Finn." Kurt said. "What would you do with a brain if you had one anyway?"

"Do?" Finn repeated, looking at Kurt with a questioning gaze. "Well, if I had a brain I would-"

(Finn. Rachel)

"I could while away the hours, confer with the flowers.

And my head, I'd be scratchin' while my thoughts were busy hatchin',

If I only had a brain."

Finn rolled down the grass while Kurt and Rachel scurried up and after him. Kurt squeezed a patch of loose cloth between his fingers and pulled gently, surprised when a weightless Finn followed the guidance of his fingers to his feet.

"I'd unravel every riddle, for any individal, in trouble or in pain."

Finn twirled, losing his balance quickly. Rachel grabbed him and steadied him.

"With the thoughts you'll be thinkin' you could be another Lincoln if you only had a brain.

Oh, I could tell you why, the ocean's near the shore-"

Kurt suppressed a snort at that, hiding his chuckles behind his hand. This scarecrow really was brainless.

"I could think of things I never thunk before.

And then I'd sit, and think some more.

I would not be just a nothing, my head all full of stuffing, my heart all full of pain."

Finn danced, very badly, down the path.

"I would dance and be merry

Life would be a ding-a-derry,

If I only had a brain-AHH!"

Finn tumbled to the ground, Kurt scooping up the fallen stuffing and pushing it back into Finn's shirt as he and Rachel sat down next to him. Rachel shook his glove enthusiastically. "Wonderful!" She praised. "Man, if the scarecrows back in Ohio could do that, the crows would be scared senseless!"

"Really?" Finn asked, interested. "Where's Ohio?"

"That's my home." Rachel answered. Finn nodded and started fixing his shirt. "And I wanna get there so badly Kurt's escorting me to the Emerald City to get the Wizard of Oz to help me."

"You're going to the Emerald City?" Finn gasped. Kurt and Rachel nodded. "To see a wizard?" They nodded again. He motioned for them to come closer, and they did. "Do you think if I went with you that the Wizard would give me some brains?"

Kurt looked thoughtful. "I can't see why not. But even if he didn't you wouldn't be any worse off than you are now." He pointed out.

Finn's face fell. "Yeah, that's true."

"But maybe you shouldn't." Rachel objected. "We've got a witch mad at us and you could get into trouble with her."

"Witch?" Finn scoffed. "I'm not afraid of any witch! I'm not afraid of anything! Well," He looked nervously from side to side. "Except a lit torch!" He ruffled the stuffing that was showing at them.

"I don't blame for you for that one." Kurt told him.

"But I'd go through a whole box full of them just at the chance to get at some brains!" Finn replied firmly. "Please hear me out!" He pleaded. "I'm not gonna be any trouble, because I can't think, and I won't try and be bossy 'cause I can't think of any reason to boss you around! Won't you take me with you?"

Rachel shared a look with Kurt, who smiled at her. "Of course we will." They chorused together.

"Hooray!" Finn shouted gleefully, leaping clumsily to his felt feet. "We're off to see a wizard!" He stumbled right into Kurt, who steadied him with a laugh.

"You're not getting off to a very good start." Rachel told him with a smile.

"Oh I'll do my best!" Finn replied, his dark eyes earnest and glowing with excitement. "Really I will!"

"Well, let's go!" Rachel encouraged, encircling her arms with Kurt's and Finn's. Lord Tubbington, who had been sitting on the fence post the entire time, pranced in front of the now trio, leading the way down the left hand path. "We're off to see the Wizard...

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

We hear he is a whiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was

If ever, oh ever a Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because,

Because because because, Because of the wonderful things he does!

We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

By the time they were well down the path Rachel remembered Kurt's exclamation, and wondered just who this magical teen was. If he isn't the real Good Witch of the North, than who was he?

NIOA

"Kurt, do we have any provisions left?" Rachel asked, her stomach growling. Kurt checked his satchel, and his face fell sadly. They both were hungry, it had been awhile since they had last eaten, an hour of two since they found Finn, and they were quite a ways down the Yellow Brick Road. Halfway there, if Kurt knew correctly. "Kurt?"

"No." Kurt replied, frowning into his satchel. "We ate the last of it a few hours ago."

"Can't you magic up some more?" Finn asked.

"I don't need to!" Kurt replied excitedly, racing ahead. A few feet away was an apple orchard, and once Rachel saw it, she charged after the good witch. The apples were as red as the ruby slippers on Rachel's feet, making both humans' mouths water with hunger and want. Kurt reached for a large apple, licking his lips in anticipation. "OW!" Kurt screeched, flinching away from the tree and holding his hand. The tree was alive and was looking right at Kurt, glaring at him while shaking the picked apple at the teenager. Rachel squeaked.

"What do you think you're doing?" The tree demanded harshly.

"We've been walking quite a long way and we're starving-" Rachel began, but stopped suddenly. "Did you say something?" Kurt grabbed her and pulled her close, his arms protective and warm around her. Rachel blushed lightly.

"They're hungry!" The trees whispered back and forth before the head tree turned back to the travelers. "Well, how would you like it if we went and picked something off of you?"

"I've gotta remember I'm not in Ohio anymore." Rachel muttered to herself. Kurt grinned, hearing her.

"Come on, guys. You don't want any of those apples." Finn said pointedly. Kurt and Rachel looked at him with wide eyes. What is he doing?

"Are you implying that my apples aren't satisfactory?" The tree demanded, narrowing it's eyes, which were barely any more than knots in the trunk with pupils.

"Oh no," Finn shook his haysack head. "It's just that they don't like the little green worms-"

"You!" The tree snarled, lunging forward and managing to get a light hold of Rachel's arms. The Jewish girl screamed, and Kurt cried out, tugging Rachel back and onto the path. Finn slapped at the trees and joined them at the road. The humans were surprised to see that the scarecrow was appearing to enjoy himself.

"I'll show you both how to get apples with no magic!" Finn whispered loudly to them, then proceeded to make faces at the apple trees. Now there was no doubt about it. The scarecrow was definitely having the time of his enchanted life. The tree threw an apple, hitting Finn in the clothed chin and sending the klutzy creature tumbling down. The three travelers started to be pelted with red fruits. "Yay! I guess that did it!" Finn called with a laugh. "Help yourself!" Kurt barked a giggle and went right of the path into the trees, dropping to his knees and gathering as many apples as he could, stuffing them in his leather satchel.

Kurt froze. "Kurt." A voice whispered, as a gentle gust of wind brushed past his face.

"Mom?" Kurt whirled around, his eyes wide. "Mom?"

The voice was gone as the gust of wind vanished into the air. Kurt was ready to call out again, but Rachel's shout drew him short. "It's a man! A man made from tin!" Kurt scrabbled to his feet and ran to where Rachel's voice had come from, only a few feet away. She and Finn were standing at the sides what looked to be a statue of a tin man, holding up an axe. He was covered lightly in growing vines and leaves. The two of them were dusting the leaves off when Kurt raced up. "Check it out Kurt!" Rachel said, her eyes wide with wonder.

A muffled sound came from the mouth of the tin man.

"Sorry?" Kurt asked, frowning.

"You're forgiven." Finn told him. Rachel and Kurt ignored him. The muffled sound was repeated, a little louder this time.

"He said 'oil can'!" Rachel hissed.

"Oilcan what?" Finn asked, confused.

"Oil can." Rachel shook her head.

"Here!" Kurt yelped, snatching a small metal container full of the slick liquid of the stump of a cut down tree. "Where first?" The Tin Man let out another round of muffled noises, more urgent this time.

"He said his mouth!" Finn said, grabbing the oil can away from Kurt and giving an experimental squeeze on the trigger. Black oil squirted out easily, nearly hitting the witch in the nose had he not ducked. Finn oiled the corners of the metallic man's mouth, then passed it to Rachel, who did the same on the other side.

"I-I-I-I can speak!" The man gasped, his voice rough from disuse. "Oh thank the Witch of the North! Please, have any of you seen my glasses? They fell off my nose months ago and my vision has been horrible ever since!" Kurt dove to the forest floor, partly to search for the glasses and partly to hide his face. Unluckily, the lenses couldn't be found anywhere near the Tin Man.

"I'm sorry, I can't find them!" Kurt apologized from his place at the feet of the oiling man.

"That's alright, it isn't your fault." The Tin Man shrugged him off. He let out a groan when Rachel shoved his arm downward, extending the limb and lowering the axe.

"Did I hurt you?" Rachel fretted.

"No." The Tin Man sighed in pleasure. "It feels awesome! I've held that axe up for forever!" He jiggled himself around.

"Here!" Kurt stood up, snatching some twigs and bending them around.

"What are you doing?" Rachel and Finn asked, while the tin man tried to look over their shoulders. Kurt grinned proudly and showed them. Sitting in his hands were a pair of handcrafted glasses, lopsided but of no use to the Tin Man as they were. Kurt dug his wand out of his satchel and tapped the wood twigs with the tip of his wand. A small silver glow surrounded the glasses, and a flash of light later, an actual pair of black rimmed glasses with rectangular lenses were sitting in the witch's hand. Kurt smiled, very pleased with himself, and handed them to the tin man.

"Try these on for size!" Kurt urged excitedly. The metal man took the glasses and slid them on, grinning.

"Perfect!" The Tin Man declared. Kurt beamed.

"You're perfect now!" Rachel cried.

"Perfect?" The tin man asked, skepticism lacing his voice. "Bang on my chest if you believe I'm perfect." Rachel hesitated, sharing a nervous look with each of her travelling companions. "Go ahead, bang on it!" Kurt rapped his knuckles against the metal, a loud echo following his hand on the inside. The Tin Man shook his head sorrowfully. Kurt shared a sad look with Rachel. He knew exactly what the problem was.

"Beautiful!" Finn proclaimed. "What an echo!"

The Tin Man rolled his eyes. "It's empty." He corrected him, confirming Kurt's suspicions. "The tinsmith forgot to give poor old Artie a heart."

"No heart?" Rachel gasped. Kurt shook his head.

"No heart, unfortunately. I'm all hollow." Artie agreed, giving his chest a firm hit. The force was enough to send him stumbling back into a tree. Kurt, Rachel and Finn scurried to him, worried he could have damaged himself further, but Artie shook his metal head at them.

(Artie)

"On the floor of Emerald City

Or down in Munchkin Town to me

With the record selection with the mirror reflection

I'm dancing with myself."

Artie started toward the Yellow Brick Road, his legs stalling up on him and needing oiling before he could continue. Is it weird that I think a tin man's dancing is better than a scarecrow's? Kurt thought to himself as he watched Artie dance and sing.

"I'm dancing with myself

I'm dancing with myself

Well, there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove

And I'll be dancing with myself

When there's no one else in sight

In the crowded lonely night

Well, I wait too long for my love vibration

And I'm dancing with myself.

I'm dancing with myself

I'm dancing with myself

Well, there's nothing to lose and there's nothing to prove

And I'll be dancing with myself."

Kurt saw out of the corner of his eye Rachel and Finn whisper in each other's ears, well, Rachel's ear and Finn's haysack. He swallowed the bitter jealousy he suddenly felt and returned his attention to Artie's dancing. He let out a yelp when Artie tripped over the curb and landed harshly on a stump. "Are you okay, Artie?" The witch asked worriedly.

"I'll be okay." He grunted, then his eyes widened as he took in Kurt, now seeing him better with his glasses and a closer look. "You're Majesty!" Artie whispered, shocked.

"Shh!" Kurt shushed him as the others joined them. Artie looked confused, but at Kurt's pleading look he fell silent with a tiny nod.

"You know," Rachel said brightly, not noticing Kurt's sigh of relief that she had not heard the exchange. "Finn and I were just wondering why you couldn't come with us to the Emerald City to ask the Wizard of Oz for a heart!"

Kurt shot her a surprised look. But as he mulled it over, he couldn't find fault in adding the extra company to the travel. He found himself nodding along to that plan. "Well, suppose the Wizard wouldn't give me one once we got there." Artie pointed out matter-of-factly.

"You're just a ball of sunshine aren't you?" Kurt teased. Artie shot him a smirk.

"Just looking at the idea from all sides." He replied. Kurt could see that he was dying to add an 'You're Highness' or something to the end of that.

"But he has to!" Rachel insisted. "We come so far already!"

A sharp cackle made them all jump, and Artie leapt to his feet. Kurt pulled Rachel behind him, glaring at cackler. Standing on top of the cottage was the Wicked Witch of the West herself, laughing hysterically at him. "You think that's far?! You've barely begun!" Sue laughed. "Helping the poor Jewish girl along, are you, my fine gentlemen?" She sneered. Finn looked a little scared. Artie looked alarmed. Rachel looked terrified. Kurt just looked angry.

"What do you want, Sue?" Kurt demanded, his glasz eyes silver stone with fury.

The Wicked Witch just snorted at him. "Keep away from her!" She snapped. "Or I'll stuff a mattress with you!" She threatened, pointing at Finn. "And you!" She hissed, pointing at Artie. "You'll be the first tin man ever that will need a chair with wheels to get around! Here, Scarecrow, wanna play a game of toss?" She lit a fireball in her hand and tossed it down that the quartet's feet. Finn leaped away with a petrified scream.

"Fire, fire!" Finn shrieked, scrambling away. Kurt scrabbled back, accidentally knocking Rachel backward onto the ground.

"And you, little Kurtie!" Sue snarled, pointing at the witch. "I'll be back for you soon enough. Little Mommy won't stop me this time!" With a roar of mad laughter, she disappeared once again with an explosion of red smoke. Artie, Finn, Kurt and Rachel stood up, staring at the cottage with trepidation, Artie having put out the burst of flame with his funnel hat.

"I'll see you get safely to Emerald City now, whether I get a brain or not!" Finn declared. "Stuff a mattress with me, peh!" He snorted.

"I'll accompany you to the Wizard, heart or not. Put me in a chair with wheels. Let her even try to get me in a wheelchair." Artie swore.

"You know my standpoint, Rachel." Kurt told her, still glaring at the spot the Wicked Witch was in a few minutes ago. Lord Tubbington just mewed at her from the stump. Rachel never felt more grateful for the three of them then in that moment, so much that she told them so. Kurt smiled brightly at her, and Artie and Finn shot her friendly smiles. "To Oz?" He asked, offering his arm to her.

"To Oz." Artie agreed, offering her his arm on her other side.

"We're off to see the Wizard.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

We hear he is a whiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was

If ever, oh ever a Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because,

Because because because, Because of the wonderful things he does!

We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

NIOA

The sun barely shone through the thick trees of the forest, shrouding it in darkness and shadows. It wasn't dark enough for Kurt to create an orb of light for them to see by, but he drew his wand cautiously and walked ahead of everyone. The scare with Sue earlier had fried his nerves, and he didn't want to take any chances of Rachel, or any of his new friends(can't forget them, too), getting hurt because the Wicked Witch decided to make another surprise visit.

"Do you think we'll see any wild animals in here?" Rachel squeaked.

"We might." Kurt replied calmly, thoughtfully.

"Animals that eat straw?" Finn demanded.

"Some." Kurt answered honestly, shooting a shrug at the straw man.

"But mostly lions, and tigers, and bears." Artie added thoughtfully. Kurt nodded in agreement.

"Bears?!" Finn squeaked.

"And tigers?" Rachel yelped.

"And-" Artie started to agree.

"LION!" Kurt shouted, scrambling backward into Artie as a huge roar bounced through the trees. Kurt and Rachel hid behind two trees off the path, and Finn and Artie fell on their bottoms on the brick road, as the beast pounced closer. Kurt poked his head around to get a good look.

This lion was a little different than the ones he'd seen in the drawings in the books in his library. This particular lion was smaller than normal, and his mane was curlier, and his fur was jet black instead of golden. He had a long tail that bobbed like a bottlebrush behind him, large paws, and honey gold eyes with a young face and kitten nose. He growled at the newcomers, landing on all four large paws on the Yellow Brick Road. "Come on, put 'em up!" He urged Finn and Artie, standing up straight on his hind legs. The lion was short, barely above Rachel's height, but his small numbers in height were made up for in the bulky muscle that could be seen underneath his black fur. Clearly he was a force to be reckoned with, short or not. Kurt ducked back behind the tree when the lion looked his way, locking eyes with Rachel.

"Go on, shoo!" Artie told him, his voice quivering slightly.

"Yeah, leave us be!" Finn agreed. "We're just passing through!"

"What, afraid? Scared?" The lion mocked. Kurt noticed that Lord Tubbington was stalking up to the lion, and had no idea what the smaller feline was up to. In one second he got his answer. Lord Tubbington snarled at the lion, hissing. "I'll get you anyway, squirt." The lion narrowed his gold eyes as the tabby tomcat bolted for the bush next to Rachel's hiding tree. Rachel squeaked, about to run around the tree to get to the cat, but the lion was pouncing in that direction. So she went the other way just as the lion shoved himself into the bush. Rachel scooped up Lord Tubbington and raced back to the Yellow Brick Road, the lion snarling and following right behind. Kurt gasped and dug for his wand.

Rachel's hand flew out and connected sharply with the lion's nose, stopping the beast in its tracks. "Shame on-" Rachel began to scold, but didn't finish as the lion jumped a foot in the air, letting out a screech. Kurt bolted from his hiding spot and stood up next to Rachel. Hot tears raced down the lion's cheeks and he started wailing.

"What did you do?" Rachel asked, seeing that the crystal wand tip was glowing bright silver.

"Pinching Spell. I use it on my cat's backside when he misbehaves." Kurt replied, shooting her a grin and giving the lion a stern look. "Now, as the lady said, shame on you!"

"What do you do that for? I didn't hurt him!" The lion wailed. Finn and Artie got to their feet and stood behind the pair.

"You tried." Kurt retorted, rolling his glasz eyes.

"It's bad enough when you pick on a tin man, but when you go off picking on poor cats! Your own species!" Rachel added.

"You didn't have to go and hit me did you? Or use magic on me!" The lion whined. "Is my nose bleeding or my butt bruised?" He cried, checking those places.

"Don't be ridiculous." Kurt told him, rolling his eyes again. "I'd never do anything that could leave a mark. What kind of a good witch would I be if I did?"

"Good gracious, you're making a huge fuss!" Rachel sighed.

"Naturally, when you go around and mess with things weaker than you." Kurt agreed.

"Why, you're nothing but a big coward." Rachel said.

"I am a coward. I don't have any courage at all." The lion nodded, sniffling and using his tail to dry his tears. Kurt crinkled his nose but said nothing. "See all the circles under my eyes, I haven't been able to sleep at all in weeks!"

"Why don't you try to count sheep?" Artie suggested.

"That does no good, I'm scared of them!" The lion croaked.

"That's too bad." Finn replied sympathetically.

"Hey, Rach." Kurt whispered to her. Rachel glowed at the nickname. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"That we should take him with us?"

"Why not? We're a strange group of travelers anyway. One more couldn't hurt us." Kurt replied. "'Sides, he could help us if we run into trouble."

"As long as the trouble doesn't scare him." Rachel joked. Kurt nudged her.

"Why don't you come along with us? We're on our way to see the Wizard of Oz. To get him a heart." Rachel offered, pointing to Artie.

"And him a brain." Kurt added, hooking his thumb at Finn. "I'm sure he'll give you some courage."

"That's awfully nice of you." The lion sniffled. Kurt smiled.

"What's your name? I'm Kurt, this is Rachel, that's Finn and this is Artie." Kurt introduced his little rag-tag team, pointing to each of them in turn.

"My name is Blaine." The lion replied.

"Well, Blaine, will you join us?" Rachel asked. "We can't be much farther."

"You aren't. The Emerald City is just past the forest. About another hour's walk." Blaine told her. Kurt grinned at this news. Soon, his own personal mission would be a success. His spirits fell, realizing that as soon as the Wizard granted Rachel's wish, her time in Oz would be over. The thought made Kurt's heart sink.

"Well, let's go!" Rachel said excitedly.

( Blaine Artie Finn Rachel All)

"Yeah it's sad, believe me Missy,

When you're born to be a sissy,

Without the vim and verve."

Finn, who was linked to Kurt, who was linked to Rachel, who was linked to Artie, who was linked to Blaine, all hopped once as they continued down the path, paying attention to Blaine.

"But I could show my prowess,

Be a lion, not a mowess,

If I only had the nerve.

I'm afraid there's no denying,

I'm just a dandelion,

A fate I don't deserve.

I'd be brave as a blizzard.

I'd be gentle as a lizard

I'd be clever as a gizzard

If the Wizard is a wizard who will serve."

Rachel warned, stopping them with a careful look. Kurt couldn't help but agree with her. He'd never met the Wizard of Oz himself, and heard he could be very crafty.

"Then I'm sure I'll get a brain.

A heart

A Home

The nerve!"

They all grinned at each other widely, then set off.

"Oh, We're off to see the Wizard.

The Wonderful Wizard of Oz

We hear he is a whiz of a wiz if ever a wiz there was

If ever, oh ever a Wiz there was the Wizard of Oz is one because,

Because because because, Because of the wonderful things he does!

We're off to see the Wizard, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz!"

NIOA

Across the land of Oz, in a darkened corner of the West, sat a large black castle atop a mountain of boulders and an inky moat. Inside was an army of flying primates, dressed in red and black outfits. The three top members of that army were sitting inside of the private chambers of thier leader, Sue, the Wicked Witch of the West. The three winged ape generals were all female, two with blonde fur, one with black, and one of the blondes smaller than the other two. "What are you gonna do now that they have a lion in their company?" The large blonde one said.

"Lion or no lion, Quinn, they didn't take her warning." The black furred one replied.

"Yeah!" The shorter blonde agreed loudly.

"Oh, hush it Becky." Quinn told her. "What will you do, Mistress?" She asked.

"Santana is correct." Sue sneered. Santana snorted with an 'Obviously!', but Sue ignored her. "I'll take care of them now!"

"And the Witch's son?" Quinn asked. It was easy to see she was the Head Monkey among the three.

"He made himself an enemy as soon as he was born!" Sue snapped, walking over to the large table behind her. In the light of the torches, her red skin gleamed sickly. She took a mortar and pestle and started grinding what was inside the porcelain bowl. Smoke rose out, and she wove her hand in front of her looking glass. "Now, something poisonous, but attractive and soothing smelling."

"Poppies?" Santana suggested, hopping over next to Quinn to get a better look at the ball and what it was showing.

"Yes!" Sue hissingly agreed. "Poppies will make them sleep, sleep deeply. Now they'll see..."

NIOA

The five of them broke through the last of the trees and gasped at the sight before them. A field of wild poppies stretched for a few yards before them, ending with miles to the left and right. Past the poppy field was a beautiful city of bright green, stretching tall with the tips of the buildings scraping the sky. Kurt was in awe. "Wow." He breathed.

"The Emerald City! Finally!" Rachel cried. "Oh, it's so beautiful."

"He has to be a great wizard to live in a city like this!" Finn added excitedly.

"What are we waiting for?" Blaine demanded, grinning.

"Nothing!" Artie replied, ecstatic. "Let's hurry!"

"Yes, let's go!" Finn urged, and the quintet raced across the poppy field as fast as thier legs could carry them.

It wasn't long before Kurt started to slow down, Rachel a few seconds after him. "Come on! Come on!" Finn cried, at the same time Artie shouted. "Hurry, hurry!" The two of them were still going full-steam ahead.

Something wasn't right. Kurt could feel is as his mind became overflowed with exhaustion. The two non-human-nor-animal creatures finally stopped, and Kurt doubled over, fighting to keep his eyes open. "What? What is it?" Rachel asked breathily. She sounded as tired as Kurt felt.

"I can't run any longer." Kurt gasped, dropping to his knees. "I'm so-"

"Sleepy." Rachel finished for him when he trailed off with a large yawn.

"Well, give us your hands and we'll pull you along!" Finn said desperately. Artie tried pulling Kurt back up to his feet, but the witch was barely managing to keep his eyes open.

"Snow...gotta...sn.." Kurt mumbled, falling asleep and into the poppies.

"Kurt, get up, get up!" Artie yelled despairingly. He knew this was some kind of black magic at work. "You gotta reverse this!" But it was no use. The witch was deeply unconscious, and wouldn't budge an inch. Artie looked up and saw that Rachel was passed out as well, and Blaine wasn't far behind.

"Now that you mention it.." Blaine yawned. "A hundred years, wouldn't be baaadd." And with that last note, he keeled over backward, snoring loudly.

"This is horrible! Can't move them an inch!" Finn shouted in frustration.

"It's the Wicked Witch!" Artie agreed. "What do we do now?"

"HELP! HELP US!" Finn started to scream. Coming up with nothing better, Artie joined in.

All of a sudden, thick, cold and white puffs fell from the sky in heavy torrents. "Snow?" Artie asked in confusion, looking up. The flakes melted upon touching the hot metal of the tin man, and Artie realized with a jolt that the melted snow would make him rust. Well, shoot!

"But how could that help? It does help, but how could-It does help!" Finn yelped. "Rachel, you're waking up!" Kurt and Rachel blinked open thier eyes, sitting up as Blaine let out an enormous yawn, sitting up too. Kurt shook his head to clear it.

"I never want poppies anywhere near me again!" Kurt declared, shivering. The other three laughed.

"He rusted again!" Rachel cried, pointing to Artie, who was letting out little muffled cries. Kurt pointed his wand to the sky, cutting off the snowfall quickly and racing up to his friend with the others on his heels. Kurt waved his wand at the tin man, sparks swirling around him.

"Phew, thanks Kurt!" Artie sighed in relief.

"I added a little something to it. Now we won't have two worry about you rusting on us for at least 48 hours." Kurt told him with a smile. Artie smiled at him gratefully.

"48 hours? But why not indefinitely?" Blaine asked. Kurt bit his lip, scared that the jig was up.

"I-" Kurt began.

"Look, Emerald City dead ahead!" Artie proclaimed. "Let's not waste anymore time!" That did the trick. Soon thier arms were linked and they walked the short distance to the city gate. Kurt gave the bell cord a sharp few tugs, three loud gongs sounding off.

A window opened up and a very irritable man with dark hair and a green outfit popped half his body out. "Who rang that bell?" He grumbled.

"I did." Kurt retorted, stepping up to the front of the gate with a challenging look on his pale face.

The man eyed Kurt. "And you are, sir?"

"Kurt." Kurt told him, raising an eyebrow at him. He watched smugly as the gears in the man's head began to turn.

"State your business." The man said. Kurt frowned. Clearly this wasn't what he wanted to hear, but he rolled with it.

"I want to see the Wizard. All of us do." Kurt answered shortly, giving pointed glances toward his companions.

"The Wizard?! But no one has ever seen the great Oz! Not even me!" The gateman said incredulously.

"Well, if you haven't, how do you know that there is one?" Kurt retorted.

"Because...never mind! You kids are wasting my time!" The gate man snapped, and moved to shut the window.

"Hey!" Kurt shouted. He was getting impatient. He was tired, sore, and on a mission. And he'd be magicked apart before he let a cranky doorman get in his way! "This girl has to see the Wizard!"

"Please sir. She has to see the Wizard." Artie butted in. "The Good Witch of the North sent her."

"Prove it." The door man challenged.

"She's wearing the ruby slippers!" Kurt snarled, pointing his wand at Rachel's feet. The doorman looked down and his attitude changed instantly.

"Well, so she is!" The doorman cried, smiling wide. "Come on in, come!" He retreated back into his window and the gate opened. Kurt slumped, rubbing his face tiredly.

"Thanks, Artie." Kurt whispered. Artie nodded.

The Emerald City was even more beautiful on the inside, people in lavish emerald robes bustling about. Kurt gave Rachel a grin and led the way inside. "Now," Kurt began. "I know we want to see the Wizard as soon as possible, but it's been a long journey. So I was thinking that we go freshen up a bit before going." Kurt grinned at all of them. "Quite frankly, we all could use it."

"That sounds like a marvelous idea, Kurt!" Rachel smiled at the witch, who's heart melted.

"Follow me then!" Kurt commanded, and led them across the way to a place with a sign on the door that said Wash and Brush Up.

(Kurt)

"Someday, when I'm awfully low.

When the world is cold.

I will feel a glow, just thinking of you!"

Kurt ushered them all inside, glowing playfully due to his magic.

"But you're never fully dressed without a smile!

Oh, it's lovely. With your smile so warm,

And your cheeks so soft.

There is nothing for me, but to love you.

But you're never fully dressed without a smile."

Kurt pointed each of them out to a different section for rejuvenation, and flirtatiously blew a kiss to Rachel before disappearing with his own team. The Ohio girl blushed deeply, smiling a dreamy smile as she allowed her caretakers for the moment pamper her.

"Lover, never never change.

Keep that breathless charm.

Won't you please arrange it?

'Cause I love you!

Remember, you're never fully dressed, without a smile."

Each traveler emerged outside, Finn with new hay, Blaine with his fur and claws trimmed, Artie freshly polished and shining, Rachel with her hair in bouncing curls and her dress and cloak like new, and Kurt in new traveling clothes altogether, a fresh rose tint to his cheeks and lightness to his glasz eyes. Each feeling better since the journey began.

"Lover, never never change,

Keep that breathless charm.

Won't you please arrange it?

'Cause I love you.

But you're never fully dressed without a smile!

Just the way you look tonight."

Kurt smiled brightly at his companions. "To the Wiz-WHAT?" He shrieked, his eyes on the sky above the city.

"Kurt, what is it?" Rachel demanded worriedly, grabbing onto his arm. Using his free hand, Kurt pointed up, his eyes locked with horror. The others looked up and gasped. Rachel basically jumped on Kurt, who held her close, almost protectively.

Against the impossibly blue sky, a black shape was using thick black smoke to draw out a message. "Who's her? Who's her?" Blaine whimpered, cowering against Finn.

"It's Sue!" Kurt spat.

"The Wicked Witch. She's followed us here!" Rachel whimpered.

"Look at me, Rachel!" Kurt grabbed her chin and gently forced her to look at him. "We will get you home, do you understand me? You will go back to Ohio, unharmed and well." The fierceness in Kurt's swirling eyes made it hard, almost impossible, to question him. Rachel nodded. He looked at the others. "We-"

"Look!" Finn cried, interrupting whatever Kurt was about to say and pointing toward the sky. Something was written in the black smoke.

"'Surrender Rachel and Kurt.'" Blaine read. Kurt paled drastically. Rachel gasped.

"We need to get to the Wizard now. The sooner you're home, the safer you'll be." Kurt said thickly.

"But what about you?!" Rachel protested. "She wants you too, Kurt!"

"Rachel, which of us would stand a better chance up against her? Me, a trained witch, or you, a small girl from another world?" Kurt asked, harsher than he meant to. Rachel relented. "Let's go!" He told them all, racing toward the far end of the city with Rachel at his side and the others right behind him. Unfortunately, the whole of Emerald City had the same idea. A crowd beat them to the Wizard's place in the city, but was shooed away by a man in overflowing emerald robes.

"Everything is alright! Go on home now! Go on!" He ushered them, but the quintet raced right up to him.

"Pardon us, but we want to see the Wizard right away!" Rachel said urgently. "All five of us!"

"No one can see the Great Oz, not nobody not no how!" The man barked.

"Please, it's important!" Kurt begged. "She's Rachel!"

"The Witch's Rachel?" The man demanded. They all nodded.

"And he's the Witch's Kurt!" Blaine said, nudging Kurt forward.

"That changes things immensely." The man said. "Just wait here, I'll announce you at once." He turned around and pushed through the pale emerald doors.

Kurt sagged in relief. Rachel will be home in Ohio soon. He tried not to let his heartache override his reasons. She would be safe there, away from the Wicked Witch. A frustrated yell made Kurt jump a foot in the air. The guard was back. "The Wizard says leave and don't come back!" He yelled, then went back inside.

"What?" Rachel gasped.

Kurt sank to his knees, failure washing over him in tidal waves. He had failed. He'd brought Rachel all this way for nothing. He'd let Finn, Artie and Blaine get dragged into all this for nothing. He'd put innocent lives at risk, all for nothing. He should have listened to Brittany when she said to go. He'd never felt so defeated and hopeless. He'd failed. "I'm so sorry, Rachel." He whispered brokenly, tears of disappointment and anguish slowly gliding over his rosy cheeks. "I-I thought-"

"It's okay, Kurt. You did your best." Rachel crouched down beside him and hugged him tightly. He buried his face in her shoulder, trying not to cry at his failure, and the lie that had just been voiced. He felt a metal hand, a glove, and a paw pat his back sympathetically.

"No more tears!" A voice yelped. Kurt looked up to see the guard weeping in the window. "You can see the Wizard. You haven't failed yet! Come on!" He disappeared, and the door slowly opened. Kurt scrabbled to his feet, pulling Rachel up next to him and taking her hand. Rachel took Artie's hand, Artie took Blaine's paw, and Blaine grabbed Finn's glove. Slowly, they walked down the dark hall.

Blaine screeched to a stop. "Wait a minute. I don't wanna see the Wizard this much. I'll wait outside." He said with a quiver, and attempted to turn around.

"What's wrong?" Finn demanded, pulling him back to face ahead.

"Oh, he's afraid again." Artie replied, keeping his eyes on the end of the hall. Lord Tubbington sat down and waited a few steps ahead for them.

"Don't you know the Wizard's gonna give you some courage?" Rachel demanded.

"I'd be too scared to ask him for it!" Blaine whimpered, grabbing onto his tail.

"Then we'll ask for you!" Kurt said firmly. "We've come too far to turn back now, Blaine!"

They took one step forward then Blaine let out a petrified cry. Kurt jumped a foot in the air. "What now?" Rachel asked.

"Someone pulled my tail!" Blaine wailed, tugging his tail between his paws. Kurt rolled his eyes.

"You did it yourself!" Kurt told him.

"Here!" Finn removed Blaine's tail from his paws and placed his hand there instead, and the quintet continued on.

"Come forward!" A deep voice boomed, the doors at the end of the hall opening up. The hairs on the backs of Kurt and Rachel's necks stood up.

"Tell me when it's over!" Blaine moaned, then covered his face with his paws. They entered a room that was completely emerald. "Look there!" Blaine gasped, then tried to scurry away again, only to be stopped by Artie and Finn. "I wanna go home!" He wailed.

What Blaine had drawn their attention to had everyone quivering in fear. A display of fire bursts and smoke revealed a large green head above it. "I am Oz, the great and powerful!" The head boomed. "Who are you?" No one made a sound, unless you were Artie, and your tremors made clanking sounds. "Who are you?" He demanded, a little harsher.

Slowly, Rachel stepped forward. Kurt nodded encouragingly at her. "My name is Rachel, sir. We've come to-"

"Silence!" Oz boomed at her.

Rachel yelped, then ran back to Kurt, shaking in his arms. "Oh, sweet Streisand!" Kurt didn't bother to question that statement.

"The Great Oz knows why you are here!" Oz retorted. "You wish for a passage home. And you, Tin Man, have the audacity to ask for a heart, don't you?"

"Ye-Yes Sir." Artie stammered fearfully.

"And you, Scarecrow, have come for a brain, have you not?" Oz roared.

"Y-Yes, Sir! I-I mean Your Excellency, I mean-" Finn fumbled.

"Silence yourself!" Oz commanded. "And you, Kurt, come for a way to impress your mother, The Good Witch of the North, do you not?" Kurt froze, turning absolutely pale and his glasz eyes going wide. Oh, please no! Kurt panicked. "Well?" The Wizard demanded harshly. Kurt couldn't speak, his throat so tight he could barely get air through.

"Kurt?" Rachel's voice cut through the sheer panic the teen was feeling and multiplied it all the same. He could feel his companions eyes on him. Kurt shook his head and refused to look at any of them. He felt Rachel's small hand slip into his and squeeze gently. Kurt squeezed back automatically.

"And you, Lion?" Oz demanded, addressing Blaine. Finn gently urged him forward, the lion quivering with every nudge. Blaine faced the Wizard. "Well?" He growled.

Blaine's eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted, keeling over backward. "Oh!" Rachel squeaked, the four of them trying to wake up the large feline. "You should be ashamed! Scaring him like that when he came to you for help!" Rachel scolded on a courage boost.

"Quiet, little one. The Great Oz has every intent to grant your requests." Oz commanded.

"What?" Blaine sat up at that. "What did he say?" Kurt and Artie heaved him to his feet and waited for Oz to continue.

"But first, you must prove yourselves." Oz told them. "Bring me the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West, and I will grant your wishes."

"But, we'd have to kill her to get ahold of her broom!" Kurt protested. This was a suicide mission! Surely this old codger wouldn't send them-

"Bring me her broomstick, and I'll grant your requests. Now go!" Oz ordered.

"But, what if she kills us first!" Blaine demanded.

"I said GO!" Oz roared, a huge burst of orange flame erupting in front of his face. Blaine let out a petrified yell and tore from the room. Kurt followed him, albeit slower, but he didn't want to stick around and face interrogation that he knew was coming. Checking on Blaine was his best bet right now.

What was that wizard thinking? Sending them on a suicide mission that none of them could survive, being lucky to do so! Was he off his rocker? Kurt really should have listened to Brittany, and just sent Rachel to his mother. "Kurt! Kurt, wait!" Rachel shouted after him. Kurt didn't bolt, but he didn't stop either.

"I know what you're going to say Rachel, so let's get Blaine and calm him down, then I will answer any and all questions, alright? He deserves to hear this too." Kurt told her stonily.

"Just tell me that you had good reason for it." Rachel pleaded, stopping in front of him and staring with watery brown eyes. Kurt's heart broke. "Just, tell me that you had good reason for lying to me. To all of us."

"I did." Kurt sighed. "Let's get Blaine." Rachel nodded and walked with him the rest of the way down the hall, Finn and Artie catching up with them a minute or two later. The four of them found the cowardly lion sitting against the wall near the door. "Hey big guy." Kurt greeted, sitting down next to him.

"Who are you, Kurt?" Blaine asked. There was simple curiosity in his voice. Not indifference, nor spite or anything of that nature.

Kurt sighed, standing up. He turned around to face them and gave them a helpless look. "My name is Kurt, and I'm the son of Glinda, the Good Witch of the North." Kurt relented. "And the heir to her magical throne." Kurt let them all absorb that information, except for Artie, who already knew exactly who Kurt was. "Since I was born, the other witches doubted my ability to watch over Oz properly once my mother passed on her responsibilities and title to me when the time came. I never let it bother me, because Mother never listened to them. I'm greatly talented in magic and all things my mother taught me, and I don't say that to brag."

"But, why do they doubt your ability so much?" Rachel asked.

"Remember when you first arrived in Oz, Rachel? What did you say about witches?" Kurt asked.

"I said that witches were old and ugly and mean." Rachel recalled guiltily. "I'm still sorry about that."

"And I told you that only bad witches are ugly." Kurt replied patiently. "But what else did you tell me?"

"I've never seen a male witch before." Rachel looked thoughtful.

"Bingo." Kurt nodded. "I told you that I'm the first male witch in Oz history. Every witch in Oz before me has been female. The ones that doubt my ability do so because they've never heard of a male witch being born, especially when I was born to my mother, who is the head of all magic, even above the Wizard."

"So, you're like royalty?" Finn asked.

"That's one way of putting it. Like, Mother is the Queen of all Magic, and I'm her son, so.." Kurt shrugged.

"That means you're a prince!" Blaine gasped. Kurt shrugged again, scooting back in surprise when Finn and Blaine bowed, thier noses almost touching the floor.

"You're Majesty!" They chorused.

"Get up, both of you." Kurt rolled his eyes fondly, amusedly. "I'm still the same Kurt you met on the Yellow Brick Road, just, now you know who I really am."

"So why did you tell me that you were the Witch of the North?" Rachel asked, furrowing her brow. "And why did you send me on this long journey if your mom could have just sent me home?" Artie gave Kurt a curious look. Kurt sagged, rubbing his face.

"Early this morning, I was going to the breakfast hall, when I heard Mother talking with Isabelle, the Witch of the South. They were worrying because the Wicked Witch situation in Oz. The Witch of the East was treating the Munchkins worse by the day, and the Witch of the West was working on enslaving some poor colony in the North. My mother and Isabelle don't have the ability to meddle in the affairs of other witches, that was a decree made before there ever was a Wicked Witch of the East or West. If they did, Mother would lose her throne and Isabelle would be exiled to the Outbounds." Kurt shivered at the mention of the Outbounds. "The situation was out of thier hands. That was when Brittany summoned Mother." Kurt grinned at Rachel.

Flashback

Kurt jerked away from the audience chamber door, the Looking Glass on the wall shimmering and swirling. Kurt raced over to it and placed his hand on the mirror. The glass glowed bright silver, and then the reflection cleared. "Mayoress Brittany?" Kurt asked, confused at the Mayoress of Munchkin Land in the mirror. The blonde looked frantic, her eyes wild.

"Kurt, I've told you. Brittany or Britt." The blonde scolded. "Where's your mother?"

"She's busy." Kurt told her. "Why? What's going on?"

"It's the Wicked Witch of the East!" Kurt was surprised at the Mayoress's enthusiasm and excitement. Usually, when mentioned, the Wicked Witch's name came with fear or terror. Not what Brittany was displaying.

"What about her? What's going on Brittany?" Kurt demanded.

"She's dead!" Brittany told him excitedly. "You need to get your mom and get down here!"

"No! I'll-I'll come on my own." Kurt offered. "I'll be right there!"

"Kurt, are you-" Brittany was cut off when Kurt waved his hand, dismissing her. Mind racing a mile a minute, he waved his wand around himself, and in a bright silver flash, he was gone.

End Flashback

"When I got there I found the Witch crushed underneath a pile of sandbags, and Brittany crouching down next to an unconscious girl." Kurt finished, shrugging. He was doing a lot of that recently. "I knew if I told you who I really was you would have expect me to take you to my mother so she could send you home. So, I lied, and told you that I was the Good Witch of the North. I figured that if I could bring you here safely, and get Oz to send you back home, I could prove that I am meant to take my mother's place as Good Witch of the North, and King of all Magic. So I, I posed as my mother and brought you here." Kurt ducked his head.

"Wait a minute, you teleported yourself to Munchkin Land from your mother's palace in the North," Rachel began. Kurt nodded, confused as to where she was going with this. "Couldn't you have teleported us here?"

"If I had than we wouldn't have met Finn, Artie, or Blaine." Kurt pointed out. "But what I told you in Munchkin Land wasn't necessarily a lie. There is a magical barrier that surrounds Emerald City that keeps witches out, and it was made when the Wicked Witches came to power. But that was the only truth. If I was my mother I could have teleported us here within the blink of an eye. There's a special spell that allows the caster to breach the barrier and enter the City. Only Mother and Isabelle know the exact spell, it was entrusted to them when the barrier was created. I have no idea what the spell is, so I couldn't teleport us here. Walking was our best bet." Kurt gave them a pleading glance, his glasz eyes a sad tone of blue. "Please believe me. I just wanted to help and to prove myself as Mother's true heir. I'm sorry I lied to all of you." Kurt hung his head and waited. Waited for the yelling, for Rachel to demand that he take her to his mother this instant. Waited for them to abandon him and leave Emerald City to search for a new way to get what they desired.

"Well, technically, you didn't lie to me, Kurt." Artie said. Kurt's head snapped up and he stared in disbelief at the tin man. "And you haven't steered us wrong. You brought us to the Emerald City safely, and got us in to see the Wizard. You're a good man, Kurt. And an amazing witch."

Gratefulness shone in Kurt's ever-changing eyes, and he smiled up at Artie. "Don't forget a great friend." Finn butted in.

"Yeah." Blaine agreed.

"Your mother would be so proud of you." Artie told him. Rachel said nothing, but smiled brightly at him and nodded in agreement.

"So, what do we do now?" Rachel asked. "You heard the Wizard. We have to get him the Witch's broomstick before we'll ever get our wishes granted."

"I honestly don't know what he was thinking. That's a suicide mission!" Kurt growled. "It's not like we can just waltz in and swipe it! We'll have to kill her to get it!"

"Kurt, you said that your mother and Isabelle can't meddle in the affiars of other Witches." Finn said thoughtfully.

"Yeah. It's an ancient law, almost as old as Oz itself." Kurt nodded. He narrowed his eyes at the straw man. "Where are you going with this, Finn?"

"Your mother can't meddle, but you can?" Finn asked. Kurt's eyes widened.

"Of course! With Kurt it'll make the task a little easier!" Artie agreed.

"Hold on, now wait-wait a minute!" Kurt stammered. "I can't just-"

"Yes you can, Kurt!" Rachel interrupted, bouncing on her heels with excitement. "You meddled when Sue went after the slippers! You gave them to me before she could get them! The law doesn't apply to you just yet because you haven't taken your mother's place yet!"

"Let me get this straight. You want to sneak into the Wicked Witch's castle and somehow steal her broomstick from her?" Kurt demanded. "And you want me to lead you there?"

"You've got us this far." Rachel told him. "We didn't come all this way to take the easy way out."

Kurt looked at the faces of his friends. All of them looked determined, and one was just plain scared. "You guys are insane." Kurt sighed.

"Can you teleport us there?" Finn demanded.

"No, but I can teleport us part of the way. A similar magical barrier surrounds Sue's castle and a one mile radius around it. I can get us to the outside by teleportation, then we can walk the rest of the way. We need to hurry, it'll be dark soon."

NIOA

A drop of silver light hit the ground, growing brighter and brighter until it was almost blinding. The light died, revealing five figures holding onto each other. "Whoa." Finn said, shaking his haysack head back and forth.

"It's a little unnerving the first time." Kurt admitted. "I nearly puked my first time."

They were standing at the entrance of the Haunted Forest, dead leaves and trees scattered thickly around them. A few feet ahead was a sign pointing due West, white paint writing on the wood. They stepped forward and read it silently. Wicked Witch's Castle: One mile ahead!

"'I'd turn back if I were you.'" Blaine read aloud. The others shook thier heads while Blaine nodded in agreement, then attempted to leave.

"Oh no you don't!" Kurt snapped, grabbing him. "We're all in this together." Finn and Artie nodded in agreement. The quintet continued on, until Blaine tried to run again when some owls squawked, hidden from sight in the trees. Finn and Artie raced after him and dragged him back.

"I believe there are spooks in these woods." Finn whispered to them. Lord Tubbington curled around Kurt's legs and mewed at him. Kurt scooped him up, ignoring the cat's purr.

"That's ridiculous." Artie snorted. "Spooks. That's stupid."

"You don't believe in spooks?" Kurt asked, surprised. He'd seen a few specters in his lifetime, and he was only eighteen.

"Of course I don't-oh!" Artie was suddenly heaved into the air by an unknown force, then harshly dropped a few feet ahead. Rachel screamed and ran up to him, Finn hot on her heels, tripping as he went.

"I do believe in spooks, I do believe in spooks..." Blaine mumbled passionately to himself. Kurt held Lord Tubbington a little tighter as Artie dizzily got up.

NIOA

Sue cackled, having watched the entire thing in her Looking Glass. "You'll believe in more than that when I'm done with you!"

"What is your order, Mistress?" Quinn asked, hopping from the chair to the window sill, where Santana and Becky were waiting.

"Take your army and bring me the girl and Kurtikins." Sue commanded. "Do what you wish to the others, but bring me the children! I want them alive and unharmed. They won't give you any trouble. And send a little ahead to tire the fight out of them." Quinn, Santana, and Becky nodded and prepared for takeoff. "Take special care of those ruby slippers! I want those most of all! Now fly! Fly!" With screeches of battle, the three flying monkey commanders leaped out the open window and led thier army through the sky.

NIOA

"Guys, what is that?" Rachel turned to where Blaine was pointing and squinted. Black shapes were flying towards them, standing out against the dark sky. Kurt squinted, and a gasp of horror made it past his lips.

"It's Sue's flying apes! Run for it!" Kurt shrieked, just as the primates landed. All five scattered off in different directions, trying to shake off thier pursuers. Kurt hesitated. What am I doing?! He scrabbled to get ahold of his wand, but a blonde monkey pounced on him, sending him flying backward. "Get off of me!" He yelled as two more joined the blonde. "Turn me loose! Turn me loose!"

"Got one!" The small blonde monkey giggled in satisfaction. "Take him back to Mistress!"

"No! Let go of me! Stop!" Kurt screamed, wriggling as the primates grabbed ahold of his arms and took to the air. The fast accent caused the crystal wand to slip from his fingers.

Meanwhile, Rachel was having just as much luck getting rid of the monkeys as the witch was. "Help! Help!" Rachel screeched, hopping over logs and tree roots in her haste to get away. Unluckily, she wasn't fast enough. A black flying monkey landed right in front of her.

"How's it going, Man Hands?" The monkey sneered. Rachel stared in fear at her, then tried racing the other way. A large blonde one landed on the stump, blocking her path.

"Becky got the boy, let's take her back to Mistress." The blonde commanded.

"Surprise, Yentl, you're coming with us for a ride." The black one hissed, her and the blonde grabbing her arms and heaving her into the air. Rachel started screaming as loud as her lungs could take.

"Help! Help me!" Finn shouted. His entire body was a mess, straw thrown out and about and his clothing no longer sewn together. Artie and Blaine raced to him.

"What happened to you?" Artie demanded, kneeling beside him.

"First they took my chest out and they threw it over there!" Finn, with arms that barely moved, pointed left. "Then they took my legs off and they threw them over there!" He pointed right.

"Oh, that's you all over." Artie retorted, rolling his eyes and beginning to stuff Finn's shirt with the discarded hay.

"They sure knocked the stuffings out of you, didn't they?" Blaine attempted to joke.

"There's no time for making jokes!" Finn insisted. "The Witch has Kurt and Rachel now. Put me back together so we can find them!"

NIOA

"What a pretty little witch." Sue sneered, patting Kurt's cheek harshly, so it felt more like little slaps.

"Get your filthy hands off me!" Kurt spat, wriggling in the monkey's grasp. Upon entering the domain of the Wicked Witch Kurt and Rachel were dragged up to her private quarters. Kurt hadn't stopped struggling since they landed, so to prevent any chances of escape his arms were bound with thick streams of black magic acting as rope. Rachel had frightened tears cascading down her cheeks as she watched Sue examine Kurt very closely. Unlike Kurt, she wasn't tied up. Sue had seen no threat with the girl so she left her be.

"You're awfully far from home, Kurtikins." The Wicked Witch jeered. "What would dear old Mommy think of you right now, or what would she think if she saw her poor baby sitting at my feet like a slave?"

Kurt gave her an icy glare, so much hatred in his gaze that Rachel felt afraid of him for the tiniest second. "There are few things in this world that scare me, Sue. You are not one of them." He hissed, his voice hard as stone and cold as ice. "Let Rachel go."

"All in good time, dearie. Soon, soon, soon." Sue replied. She sounded like a happy five year old. It made Rachel's stomach lurch. The Witch of the West turned and stalked toward the girl. "When she gives me those slippers."

Rachel shot a glance down at her feet. Even now they seemed to glow bright red. "B-But Kurt told me not to." Rachel protested, backing away.

"Very well." The Witch snarled, then marched over to Santana, who was holding onto Kurt. "Take the boy down to the moat and drown him!" Kurt started struggling as Santana tried pulling him out of the room.

"NO!" Rachel screamed, beginning to sob.

"Rachel, DON'T!" Kurt yelled, struggling against Santana. The monkey covered his mouth with her hand, muffling his protests. Kurt bit down harshly and raced away from Santana, going right up to Rachel. "Don't give up the slippers for me, Rachel!" Kurt pleaded. "My life isn't important! If you let her have those-" Kurt was shoved away, and he landed with a loud thud on the stone floor. Santana and Quinn jumped him, but Kurt wasn't giving up that easily. He struggled, until Santana grabbed his throat and began to choke him.

"Kill him." Sue ordered. She sounded bored. Kurt gasped, desperately trying to get air into his lungs, but Santana squeezed tighter. Kurt's face turned deathly pale and his lips' pink color was replaced by icy blue. His eyes glazed over and rolled back into his head.

"STOP IT! PLEASE STOP!" Rachel screamed, little sobs choking out of her mouth. "I'll give you your shoes but don't hurt Kurt!" Sue waved them off, and the two clambered off of the witch, Santana releasing her hold on Kurt's throat. The witch sputtered and gasped, coughing when the sudden onslaught of oxygen tore unpleasantly down his abused throat.

"Rachel..." Kurt choked.

"That's a good girl. I knew you would see reason." Sue hissed approvingly. She leaned down and reached for the ruby slippers.

Sue screeched, tearing her hands away when the slippers burned her hands. "I'm sorry! I didn't do it!" Rachel yelped, backing away from her. "Please don't hurt Kurt. I didn't mean to!" Kurt was smirking breathlessly.

"I believe the appropriate phrase is 'Ha ha.'" Kurt croaked out, crying out in pain when Becky kicked his stomach. He rolled over and clutched the wounded area, falling silent.

"Shut up, Gay Face!" Becky ordered in a shout.

"I should have remembered this!" Sue screamed. If she looked furious when they met in Munchkin Land, she looked absolutely livid now. "Those slippers will never come off your feet as long as you're alive. Drat you and your witch!" Sue cursed, giving Kurt another swift kick as she passed him. Kurt groaned, pressing his face into the stone to muffle his whimpers. Her high heels could have stabbed him if she had used just a little more force. "You two have been more trouble to me then you're worth! But it will soon be over now!" She grabbed an hourglass from the table, a tall one with wooden handles and bright red sand. "You see this?" Sue hissed, then turned it over. "This is how much time you have to be alive! Both of you! And It isn't long, my petty, it isn't long! I can't wait much longer to get those slippers!" Sue raced out the door, her lackeys following her, and shut and locked it tight.

Kurt rolled over onto his back, his bound arms in front of him, and let out a long sigh. Rachel raced over to him and started pulling at the binds, but they weren't budging. "It's magic, Rachel. It's not coming apart unless I get my wand and magic them off. And since I dropped it when we were captured..." Kurt shrugged helplessly. Rachel helped him to his feet, him stumbling a bit due to dizziness.

"What are we gonna do, Kurt?" Rachel whimpered in terror, huge tears rolling down her cheeks. "I'm so scared."

"We're gonna be okay." Kurt promised her, using his bound hands to wipe her tears away and smiling softly at her. "I don't need my wand to perform all magic." Giving her a wink, he raced over to the window and peered outside. He closed his eyes, and his body relaxed, a sigh escaping his lips.

"Kurt?" Rachel asked hesitantly. He flicked his fingers at her to silence her.

(Kurt)

"Have you ever felt like you woke up on the wrong side of your heart?

Has it ever felt like it's broken, like the world tore it apart?

Have you felt so weak, you could hardly stand?

Like if you ever fell you could never tell if you'd ever get back up again?

I know it's hard to do,

But I think you can make it.

'Cause I know you can take it."

NIOA

"Do you guys hear that?" Blaine asked, abruptly sitting up straight and his small ears pricking. Finn was about to ask what he meant, and say he couldn't hear whatever it was, when he did. Artie tilted his head to the side, listening intently.

"It sounds like, singing." Artie said, his metal brow furrowing with a small creak.

"We will rise.

We are young, we are the dreamers, we will fly.

When the world will not believe us we will rise above the ashes.

Before this whole life passes us by,

You and I, we will rise!"

"That's Kurt's voice!" Finn exclaimed. "He's trying to lead us to him and Rachel!"

"Let's go! Follow the voice!" Artie commanded, helping Finn to his feet.

NIOA

"I know it's hard to do.

But I think you can make it,

'cause I know you can take it.

Yeah we will rise,

We are young, we are the dreamers, we will fly!

When the world will not believe us we will rise above the ashes.

Before this whole life passes us by,

You and I, we will rise!

You and I,

Oh, you and I, we will rise!"

"The Witch could have heard you!" Rachel hissed when Kurt stepped down from the window. He smirked at her.

"No, she couldn't. I designed that myself." Kurt shook his head. "Only the ones who I wanted to hear it could have heard me." Kurt grinned at her, winking.

"Genius." Rachel muttered.

"Thank you. Let's just hope they get here in time."

NIOA

Finn, Artie, and Blaine poked thier heads above the rocks and peered at the Witch's castle. "There it is!" Finn whispered. "Sue's castle."

"Kurt and Rachel are in there?" Blaine asked. Artie nodded.

"We gotta get them out of there." Artie declared.

"Who're they?" Blaine squeaked, Lord Tubbington hissing openly at who the lion was pointing at. Finn and Artie looked.

A set of red-skinned men in black and red armor and carrying spears marched in front of the castle entrance, chanting something amongst thier ranks. "I've got a plan!" Finn proclaimed. "And you're leading us, Blaine!"

"Huh?" Blaine yelped.

"Yes, I said you!" Finn answered before the question could be asked.

"I gotta get Kurt and Rachel outta there?" Blaine pointed with a shaky paw toward the castle, and the marching guards. Finn and Artie nodded seriously. "Alright. I got this, witch or no witch! I'm going in there, whether I come out alive or not!" Artie was impressed by the sudden boost of courage the originally cowardly lion was showing. Maybe they didn't need a Wizard for their wishes. "There's just one thing that I want you two to do." Blaine told them.

"What's that?" Finn and Artie asked.

"Talk me out of it." Blaine answered, balking and trying to slip away yet again.

Oh, yes they did. "Oh, no!" The two life-sized animate objects grabbed the still cowardly lion and pushed him over the rock.

"Can't we talk about this?" Blaine whimpered as they drew closer, hiding behind a ledge that was just a few feet away from the entrance.

"Shh!" Finn told Lord Tubbington, who had started hissing at the guards. Surprisingly, the cat listened. Blaine glanced behind him in time to see three guards sneaking over the rock towards the three of them. Blaine gasped, stuttering out a warning but never actual words. "Shh!" Finn hissed at him. The guards pounced, taking the other two by surprise.

A few minutes later, Finn, Artie and Blaine peeped up from behind the ledge, now clad in the guards' armor. Tied around Lord Tubbington's neck was a red sash. The guards in front of them lined up to enter the castle, and Finn rushed to join them, calling hurriedly over his shoulder. "Come on, I have another idea!"

"Do you think it's polite? Dropping by like this?" Blaine called after him, but following the scarecrow at the back of the line anyway. Once inside, the three of them, and the tabby cat, hid behind a nook in the wall.

"Now which way?" Artie hissed to Finn.

"Yeah." Blaine nodded. Finn looked thoughtful. Lord Tubbington scurried off to a staircase on the right of them, meowing the entire time.

"That way!" Finn insisted, following the tabby. Neither Blaine nor Artie questioned him. Lord Tubbington scratched on a large wooden door, mewing at the others. "Hold on! We better check!" Finn stopped them. "Kurt? Rachel?"

NIOA

"Kurt? Rachel? Are you in there?" Kurt and Rachel shared a look before bolting to the door like rockets. Kurt started banging on the wood.

"Yes, we're in here!" Kurt yelled. "She locked us in!"

"We gotta get them out!" They heard Blaine exclaim. "Get the door open!"

"Hurry!" Rachel cried, hitting the door.

Kurt paled when he saw that the hourglass was getting closer to being empty. "The hourglass is nearly empty! You have to get us out now or we'll be sleeping with the fishes!" He shouted, hitting the door harder with his bound hands.

"Get back!" Artie shouted back, and they felt the door being hit much harder with some kind of object. Kurt and Rachel scrambled back when they realized that the tin man was going to chop down the door. Kurt kept throwing glances at the hourglass. Ten seconds, eight, six..

The door flew open, revealing Blaine, Artie, Finn and Lord Tubbington. Rachel flung herself at their rescuers, showering them with thanks and love-filled hugs. Kurt was so relieved he didn't bother feeling jealous. "My wand, where is it?" Kurt demanded Finn. The straw man handed it to him and Kurt pointed it toward the wall. A small glass mirror appeared and Kurt shot a ball of silver magic at it, the orb bouncing off the glass and hitting Kurt's binds. Kurt ripped his hands away from each other, breaking the Binding Spell with a sigh of relief. "We gotta get out of here now! Let's go!" Kurt grabbed Rachel's hand and flew down the stairs with her, the others hot on their heels.

They made it to the door but didn't make it out, the hinges creaking loudly as it slammed in thier faces. Kurt pointed his wand at them, ready to blast them off, when a loud cackle sounded from behind them. The quintet whirled around and Kurt gently shoved Rachel behind him as Sue herself glared down at them, the empty hourglass in her hands. "Leaving now? I don't think so!" She hissed down at them from the top of the staircase. "My little party is just getting started..." The Witch's guards swarmed them with growls and deadly sharp spears, while Quinn, Santana and Becky joined thier Mistress at the staircase top.

"Trapped like rats." Blaine whimpered. Finn's eyes caught sight of the chandelier, hanging right above Sue's guards, tied to a large iron hook, which sat on the wall to Finn's immediate right. The red-faced villainess chucked the hourglass to the floor, where it exploded right at the army's feet. Finn grabbed Artie's arm, and the axe, and yanked. The sharper edge cut through the rope holding the chandelier up, and it crashed down on top of the majority of Sue's protection detail. The quintet raced around them, Sue screaming "Seize them, seize them!" at the top of her lungs. The remainder of the guard, led by the Wicked Witch, chased after them.

Kurt crept around a pillar, pulling Rachel with him and running up the steps, with Finn, Artie, and Blaine right behind them, Lord Tubbington secure in Kurt's other arm. "Now we have them!" Sue screeched. "Half go this way, half the other way! Quickly!" Her lackeys hurried to do what they were told, splitting up at her command.

"Do you know where you're going?!" Finn yelled as Kurt led them around the battlements, still running at full speed.

"Nope!" Kurt yelled back, turning the corner and nearly losing his footing. He let out a scream. "Wrong way!" He shrieked, turning tail and racing the other direction. Half of Sue's army just appeared in the direction they were running before Kurt turned around. The others screeched in fear and followed Kurt back the other way. They ran back inside the tower, only to be headed off by the other half of the battalion. The five backed against the table against the wall, Rachel and Kurt holding on tight to each other as the others held onto them. Sue appeared and approached them, her bright ruby skin a lighter shade of red in the torch light.

"Ring around the rosy, a pocket full of spears!" She sang mockingly. "Thought you would being really crafty did you?" She snarled. "The last to go will see the first four to go before her, and her flea-ridden cat too!" Kurt held Rachel tighter, his arms like barricades around her body. Sue's eyes flicked to the burning torch to the left of Finn, and a sinister smile grew on her tomato face. She dipped the end of her broomstick into the flame, letting it catch before pulling it out and grinning evilly at Finn, who looked back at her with pure terror. "How about some heat to warm you up, Straw For Brains?" She sneered, then touched the burning part of her broom to Finn's arm, and exposed straw. It caught instantly.

Finn screamed, waving his arm frantically to try and rid himself of the flame. "HELP! HELP! I'M BURNING! HELP ME, I'M BURNING!" Finn shrieked. Rachel and Kurt grabbed a pale of water.

"Don't throw that water!" Sue screeched, but it was too late. The liquid flew out of the bucket by the direction of the witch and Ohio girl, extinguishing the flame on Finn's arm and the rest landing all over Sue. "You cursed brats! Look what you've done!" Sue screamed at them.

She was melting in her spot, sinking down into the ground and screaming curses at Kurt and Rachel for destroying her 'beautiful wickedness.' All that was left was her dress, cloak, and black conical hat. One of the guards poked at the mess with the tip of his spear. "Huh!" Kurt said, sounding surprised.

"What is it?" Artie asked.

"The water, it melted her." Kurt told him, staring at the mess quizzically.

"And?" Blaine prodded.

Kurt barked a laugh, his eyes light with merriment. "Well, if I knew that was all it took to rid Oz of the Wicked Witch of the West I would have stormed this castle with a pale of water a long time ago!" Kurt was laughing loudly, his astonishment and amusement bouncing around the walls.

"You killed her." The guard that had been poking the mess said, turning to them with a perplexed look.

"I didn't mean to, I didn't really, it's just that-" Rachel tried to defend herself.

"Okay, why am I the only one celebrating here?" Kurt demanded with a wide smile. "The Witch is dead!"

"Have you forgotten where we are?" Artie retorted harshly. "Still in her castle, still surrounded by her henchmen who still have spears!"

"Like I said when I first met you, you're just a big ball of sunshine aren't you?" Kurt shot back, still grinning.

"Hail to Rachel and Kurt!" The guard declared, getting down on one knee. "The Wicked Witch is dead!"

"Aye! Hail to Rachel and Kurt, the Wicked Witch is dead!" The others repeated joyfully, also getting down on one knee. Kurt shot a smug look at Artie. Three screeches grabbed their attention, and the three flying monkey generals padded into the tower. They were glowing bright white, and they suddenly grew in size, losing thier fur, wings, and chimp-y features. The glow around them died, and standing before the quintet were three beautiful young women. One tall blonde with soft green eyes, the second an inch taller than the first with dark skin, brown eyes, and black hair, and the third shorter than both of them, with short blonde hair and bright eyes.

"You saved us!" The tall blonde gasped. All three were dressed in long commoners dresses and black cloaks. They hit thier knees along with the Witch's former army. "Thank you!"

"How-" Rachel asked.

"Sue must have cast a spell on them that turned them into her flying primate servants. When she melted the spell must have broken and they returned to thier human forms." Kurt answered, studying the girls closely.

"We accidentally trespassed on her land years ago, and she's had us cursed ever since." The black haired woman agreed. "Territorial heifer." She snorted.

"So, what are you three gonna do now?" Kurt asked curiously, recognizing them as Santana, Becky, and Quinn.

"First, apologize profusely for kidnapping and nearly killing you." Quinn said, standing up along with Santana and Becky.

"You couldn't have known what you were doing." Kurt shook his head with a kind smile. "Curses can mess with people's minds. What happened wasn't your fault." The three women looked up at him in awe of his gentleness toward them.

"I wanna go home." Becky whined. "I miss Mom and Dad."

"Unfortunately it's a long ways." Santana sighed. "We'll be walking for days."

"Where do you live?" Kurt asked curiously. Rachel, Finn, Artie, and Blaine could see the gears turning in the heir to magic's head.

"Waterstone Village in the South." Quinn answered, giving him a confused look.

Kurt's responding grin was dazzling. "I'll transport you there, right now if you like." Kurt offered.

"Will you? Can you?" Becky asked excitedly. "Please?" The other two look astounded.

"Honey, I'm a good witch. It's what I do." Kurt replied with a grin.

"Now?" Quinn choked.

"If there is no more reason for you to stay." Kurt nodded.

"Yes, yes now!" Becky squealed.

"We're going home." Santana breathed. "How can we ever thank you?"

Kurt gave her a gentle smile. "Live your life to the very fullest, Santana. Enjoy your home." He looked at all of them. "Ready?" They nodded enthusiastically. Kurt twirled his wand tip in thier direction, a small orb of silver light growing on the tip. A stream of bright light circled around the girls, and in a flash, they were gone.

"That was very sweet of you." Rachel told him, a touch of affection in her voice.

"That's why I'm here." Kurt replied, giving her a tender smile. "The broom!" He remembered with a start why they had set out for this castle in the first place.

"Can we have it?" Rachel asked desperately.

"Please, take it with you!" The guard agreed, passing it to her.

"Oh, thank you so much!" Kurt said giddily.

"Now we can go back to the Wizard, and tell him the Wicked Witch is dead!" Rachel cried ecstatically.

"The Wicked Witch is dead!" The guards cheered. Kurt waved his wand, and they vanished with a pop!

NIOA

"Can I believe my eyes?" The Wizard demanded at the quintet, who stood proudly in front of him. "Why have you returned?"

The others ushered Rachel forward. She walked up and laid the broomstick down in front of the Wizard. "Please, sir, we've done what you told us, and we brought you the Witch's broomstick!" Rachel declared, walking backward back to the group. Kurt caught her hand and squeezed it. She squeezed back. "We melted her!"

"Oh, you liquefied her, huh?" The Wizard mused. "How resourceful."

"Yes sir." Rachel agreed, nodding. "Now we would like it if you kept your promise to us-"

"Not so fast!" The Wizard boomed, interrupting her angrily. "I need to think the matter over! Go and come back tomorrow!"

"Tomorrow?!" Kurt demanded, aghast.

"But I want to go home now!" Rachel yelled, furious. She did not come all this way, done all that she has, to be told to wait for another day while the matter was thought over!

"You've had plenty of time already!" Artie shouted.

"Yeah!" Blaine agreed. The five of them stormed up to the Wizard, fury on all of their faces. Blaine was so mad that he forgot to be scared.

"You ungrateful kids!" The Wizard roared. "Do not unleash the wrath of the great and powerful Oz! I said come back tomorrow!"

"If you were so great and powerful you would keep your end of the bargains that you make!" Kurt shouted. He had nothing to lose by getting into it with this 'Wizard.' He didn't notice Lord Tubbington slinking around thier legs and going to an out of place emerald curtain to their left.

"Do you begin to criticize the Great Oz?" The Wizard caterwauled. "You ungrateful brats should count yourselves lucky that I'm giving you audience tomorrow, instead of thirty years from now!" While the Wizard was degrading them, Lord Tubbington had grasped the curtain in his teeth and was pulling it away. Finn saw, and nudged Rachel, who nudged Blaine, who nudged Artie, who got Kurt's attention.

There was a man working some kind of controls behind the curtain, speaking into a microphone. He caught them staring and yelped. "The Great Oz has spoken!" The Wizard boomed at the same time the man spoke into the mic. Seeing that they were still staring, he yelped again and pulled the curtain shut. "Pay no attention to that man behind the curtain!"

Kurt, who was growing more irritated by the minute, pointed his wand at the curtain cloth. A silver orb hit it and it vanished into dust. "The great and-Oz has spoken!" Kurt stormed up to the man and stared him down.

"Who in the name of Oz are you?" He thundered, his friends flanking him on both sides.

"Well, I am the great and powerful-" He said into the mic. "Wizard of Oz."

"You are?" Rachel screeched. "I don't believe you!"

"I'm afraid that's the truth." The man said sadly. "There's no other Wizard here except me." The man was a little shorter than Kurt, with soft dark blonde curly hair, green eyes, and a pale complexion. "But, if you want it than my actual name is Will Schuester."

"You humbug!" Finn shouted.

"Yeah." Blaine bobbed his head up and down in agreement.

Schuester dipped his head. "Exactly right, I am a humbug."

"You're a horrible man!" Rachel said, hurt and leaning into Kurt's side.

"Oh, no no!" Schuester protested, shaking his head desperately. "I'm a very good man, Rachel. I'm just a very bad wizard, that's all."

"What about the courage you promised Blaine?" Fin demanded harshly. "Or the heart that you promised Artie?"

"And Finn's brain!" The lion and tin man added in unison. Kurt was watching with narrowed glasz eyes, his arm tight around Rachel's waist.

"Anyone can have a brain, Finn!" Schuester told the straw man with a wide smile. "That's a very silly thing to think! Anything that crawls around or swims through the sea has a brain! Back where I'm from we have schools, places where kids go to be molded into model thinkers! And when they come out, thier thoughts are more matured and some very deep! And with no more brain than you have! But, there is one thing that they have that you don't, a diploma!" Schuester ducked back into his booth and pulled out rolled up scrolls, separating one from the others and passing it to Finn. "There, by the authority in me as a teacher of schools across a great nation, I hand over you this paper that says that you are one of the deepest thinkers there ever was!" Kurt hid a snort at that. Rachel elbowed him. Okay, maybe not so hidden.

"The tale of the Odyssey tells the story of a Greek hero and his quest to journey home, told by the Greek Homer." Finn recited perfectly, then blinked in shock. "I have a brain!" He yelped. "How can I ever thank you enough?"

"You can't." Will told him with a smile, then walked over to Blaine, guiding him over to a closet on the other side of the room. "And you, my furry friend, are under the impression that simply because you run from danger, you have no courage. You confuse courage with wisdom. Where I come from we have heroes, where once a year they dig out thier sentiments and parade them down Main Street. And with no more courage than you have. But they do have one thing you haven't. A medal." He dug in the closet and tugged out a large black sack out, digging around in that before pulling out a silver cross-shaped medal and holding it up. "So, for amazing valor, and intense bravery against Wicked Witches, I award you the Triple Cross." Will declared, and pinned the medal to Blaine's chest fur. "You are now a member of the Legion of Courage!"

"Aw...shucks!" Blaine preened, blushing profusely. "I'm speechless!"

"And you, Artie." Will waved him forward. "You wish for a heart. You don't understand how lucky you are not to possess one. Hearts will never be practical until they are made unbreakable."

"I still want one though." Artie told him pointedly. "I'm sick of being mellow and looking down on everything."

This time, Kurt gave a loud snort. Everyone looked at him. "Artie, there isn't one ounce of magic or anything he can do that can fix that." The witch told him honestly. "You have to fix it yourself."

"Young Kurt is right on that one, my friend. He has his mother's wisdom." Kurt smiled at that. "But in consideration of your kind and open-mindedness about everything, I present to you this testimonial." Will pulled out a large red heart clock from the bag and pinned it to Artie's chest. "Just a remember this for me, alright? Hearts aren't just judged by size alone, but the practicalness that comes with every situation." Kurt just looked at the self-proclaimed wizard incredulously. That was the most absurd thing he had yet to hear.

Artie grinned. "It ticks!" He yelped. "Wow, that feels funny."

"Hey!" Finn yelped suddenly, making everyone jump. "What about Rachel?"

"Yeah! What about Rachel?" Artie agreed.

"Rachel next." Blaine nodded. Schuester looked thoughtful, and genuinely puzzled.

"I really don't believe that there is anything in that black sack for me." Rachel protested sadly. Kurt squeezed her hand.

"You force me my hand in this, Rachel Berry." Will told her. "The only way for you to return to Ohio, is for me to bring you myself."

"But, are you a clever enough wizard to manage a thing like that?" Rachel demanded.

"You underestimate me, Rachel. I'm an old Ohio man myself." Will revealed with a soft smile. "I was taking my girlfriend out to the county carnival and decided to have a bit of reckless fun. I climbed into an unmanned hot air balloon and took to the air, when the winds changed suddenly. Something horrible happened up there, the balloon failed to return to the ground."

"Weren't you scared?" Kurt asked.

"I've stared death in the eye, my good witch. Sneered at catastrophe and laughed at danger." Will replied in a boasting manner. "I was completely petrified. Lo and behold, the wind shifted again, and the balloon crash-landed here in this beautiful city, where I was immediately titled Oz, the Great and Powerful." Will laughed, his green eyes twinkling at the memory. "Times what they were I accepted the position in full, keeping my balloon should I ever need it again. And in that balloon Rachel, we shall return to Ohio." Rachel happily squealed, while all Kurt could do was smile sadly.

This is it. She's really leaving...

NIOA

The whole of Emerald City was gathered around the Wizard's large red balloon, he and Rachel inside with Finn, Blaine, Artie and Kurt all around and ready for the command that they were ready for take off. Kurt couldn't help the feeling of immense heartbreak as he stared at the back of Rachel's head, or the feeling of guilt. He was supposed to be happy for her, she was going home, but all he could feel was a sharp pang in his chest. Lord Tubbington was being held in Rachel's arms. He was to be passed off to Kurt when the time came. Schuester was giving a speech of big words meant to confuse the simple minds around him. Basically he was handing off the role of watching over Emerald City to Finn, Blaine, and Artie, and promising to one day not return. Will gave nods to all of them, and Kurt struggled to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Oh! Lord Tubbington!" Rachel squeaked. "Come back here with that!" Kurt shot a look up, daring to believe what he was seeing. Apparently the tabby was making off with Rachel's necklace, and the girl was attempting to catch him, climbing out of the balloon. "Don't go without me, I'll be right back!" She yelled over her shoulder and took off after the cat.

Unfortunately, the balloon was rising into the air, having been untied by all of the others before. "Rachel! Get back here!" Kurt shouted, the rope slipping out of his hand.

"Ahh!" Rachel screamed. "Don't leave without me! Come back, please come back!"

"I can't come back!" Will yelled back at her. "I have no idea how it works!" The balloon was rising higher and higher. It was too far away for Kurt to do anything magically, as he told her when asked. "Goodbye folks!" Will waved, then vanished over the edge of the city.

"How will I get home now?" Rachel whimpered. She sounded heartbroken and hopeless. Kurt found himself guilty for being heartbroken at her departure. All she wanted was to go home. After this crazy adventure, Kurt was starting to want the same thing.

"You could stay you know." Kurt blurted softly before he could stop himself. So much for understanding!

"Now there's an idea." Rachel chuckled. "A crazy, mad, wonderful idea." Kurt poked his eyes up, daring to hope. "But I can't stay here. There are things I have to do, sights to see." And just like that, his hopes were dashed. Kurt nodded, swallowing thickly and blinking back his tears.

Just why had he had to fall in love with her? Her, the one girl that he could never have? Why had he had to lose his heart to her, only for her to take it with her once she left? Kurt wanted to cry at the loss that wasn't really his. And it wasn't like he could accompany her to her 'Ohio'. He belonged here in Oz. His place was here. He just wished that Rachel felt the same.

"Look! Maybe here is someone who can help you!" Finn's exclamation roused Kurt from his depressed thoughts, and his stomach dropped, his blood turning cold.

A pink bubble floated down into Emerald City, swelling in size on it's descent. It landed a few feet away from them, and vanished, revealing a woman inside. Kurt slinked back, head down and trying to make himself small.

The woman was stunningly gorgeous. Her hair was shiny and thick, and the brightest shade of strawberry blonde anyone could ever see. Her skin was blush pink, her eyes a swirling multitude of colors ranging between green, grey, and blue. Her lips were full and peach pink. She wore a regal pink gown with long sleeves and silver stars in her skirt, a large shimmery crown on her head and a tall crystal wand-staff in her hand, a star on the tip. She carried a pleasant air around her, making everyone feel so at peace by her presence. Everyone, except for a particular quintet. She walked over to the five of them, the people bowing as she passed. Kurt swallowed thickly, his heart racing as she approached. As soon as she made it to them, she spoke one syllable. "Kurt."

Kurt swallowed again, sweating bullets, and dropped to his knees in the perfect example of a kneel. He didn't dare look her in the eyes, or even up at her. He knew exactly what kind of power she commanded. It was the same power that would be bestowed to him one day. So he kept his eyes on the floor under his knees. He wouldn't even look to the bottom of her skirt or her shoes. Rachel gasped in shock when Kurt spoke, so quiet that it was almost silent. "Mother."

"Stand up." Glinda commanded softly, gently. Kurt moved so swiftly, but so fluidly, to obey. He still kept his head and eyes down. Glinda studied him for a moment before smiling brightly and throwing her arms around him. Kurt, caught off guard, stumbled.

"What-?" Kurt asked in utter disbelief. He was expecting reprimanding, even a revoking of his right to heir! But, this threw him through a loop.

"Kurt," Glinda breathed, squeezing her son tighter. "I'm so relieved that you are alright. I was so worried the entire time you were gone." She pulled back and looked at him, surprising her heir by the mistiness in her eyes. "I am so proud of you."

"You-you are?" Kurt gasped. "B-But I-I-"

"Oh, please." A second female snorted, popping in right next to Glinda. She was dressed in a sparkly blue gown, her caramel and blonde hair falling in waves around her face. Her green eyes sparkled with amusement. "You did the exact same thing your mother and I would have done at your age."

"Isabelle." Glinda sighed.

"He did!" Isabelle told her with a smirk. "And you, You're Magical Majesty, cannot deny it." Kurt hid his amusement at the Witch of the South's words considerably well, despite that he was still in a bit of a shock.

"I don't understand." Kurt said.

"Did you honestly think that I wasn't watching over you from the moment you left Munchkin Land?" Glinda asked with a tender smile.

"Your voice, was that you in the..." Kurt trailed off, mentally smacking himself upside the head. The signs were all there. His mother had been keeping close watch on them on the entire journey. Her voice in the trees right before they found Artie, the snow in the poppy field, it all made sense. Glinda didn't answer, seeing that he was doing that himself in his mind. She smiled at him.

"I couldn't be any more proud of you, Kurt." Glinda told him, cupping his cheek. "You've proven yourself and then some, my dear. You are more than capable, and more than ready."

It took Kurt a moment before he fully realized what his mother was telling him. His eyes widened to the size of dinner plates, his face went completely white, and his jaw dropped. "I-What-You-Huh?" Kurt blathered, stunned to incoherency.

"You heard her, Kurt." Isabelle said gently, placing a caring hand on his arm. "Are you ready?"

If Kurt was shocked and stunned before, he was beyond flabbergasted now. "Now?" He managed to choke out. "But, what about you?" He demanded, glancing worriedly at Glinda.

"I'll still be your mother, my darling. You know exactly how this works." She assured him, caressing his cheek. "You've proven time and time again that you are more than ready a thousand times over, on this journey explicitly. You are ready."

"Right now?" Kurt squeaked.

"This very second." Isabelle agreed. "Are you ready?"

Unable to form words, Kurt barely managed to nod, his heart thudding and mind racing. He felt like he was made entirely of butterflies, thier wings beating one hundred miles a minute. This was really happening. Holy mother of magic! Kurt blushed as everyone around him chuckled, realizing he'd accidentally spoken aloud.

"Kneel, my son." Glinda commanded. Kurt sunk gracefully to his knees, his eyes wide and shining. Glinda smiled at the emotions swimming in her son's eyes. Disbelief, shock, determination, even a little fear. It was the same look she's had in her eyes when she was coronated. The spell was simple enough, just a few wrist movements.

Rachel couldn't believe her eyes. With all that she had seen in Oz, this was the most amazing. Glinda was basically giving off little sparkles of the colors of the rainbow, the magic flowing off of her in steady streams, never ceasing until Glinda gave all that she could. Every ounce of magic left her body and flowed in a circle at thier feet, searching for a new home where it could be used for a greater purpose. For the betterment of the world.

The magic, like a magnet, swirled over to the brunette witch, where his head was bowing and eyes closing. A long exhale escaped his nostrils. Glinda knew what her son was feeling. The magic was electrifying his nerves, making his heart race from anticipation and putting his senses on overdrive. The air around her son felt charged, forcing the hairs on his arms and the back of his neck stand on end. She remembered how exhilarating it had felt, having such power swirl through the room, looking for the rightful place inside her.

Like a personal vortex, the rainbow colored magic swirled around Kurt, his hair ruffling but his eyes never opening. The rainbow colors spun faster and faster, lifting the witch off his knees and into the air. Kurt rose with the power, it maneuvering him onto his back above all thier heads and holding him in mid-air. The magic turned silver-white, glowing hotter and brighter as it swirled quicker. Kurt himself began to glow bright silver, starting in his fingers and hair tips, but spreading and lightening all over his body. The magic enveloped the witch like a caterpillar's cocoon, and doing the exact same on the inside. Transforming the boy from an apprentice and heir to a king and Witch of the North.

The cocoon of magic suddenly began to loose its colorful brightness, becoming dull and dark, until it was just a set of winds. Rachel began to panic-Was there something wrong?-when the winds slowly lowered to the floor and vanished. At once, Rachel understood. The glow had left because there was nothing left to give. The metamorphosis was over. Everyone waited, holding thier breath. Glinda and Isabelle had swarmed the boy as soon as the winds had set him down. Isabelle turned around, a dazzling smile on her face.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the Emerald City and the land of Oz," She declared. "I present to you, King Kurt I, King of All Magic and the new Good Witch of the North!" Glinda, now dressed in a simple pink gown, no crown, stepped aside, revealing the witch. All the air left Rachel's lungs. If she thought Kurt was beautiful before, he was stunning now!

His hair was a richer and fuller chestnut brown, his skin still a perfect porcelain white but now with a healthier glow and his cheeks rosier than before. His ears were perfectly pointed. His lips fuller and shell pink, his small smile dazzling. His travelling garments had transformed into regal but form-fitting robes of emerald green, sky blue, and silver grey, the colors swirling and changing to match his eyes. His eyes were much more potent, the changes in color more frequent, recognizable, and fluid. A silver crown sat atop his chestnut locks, fitted with jewels that matched his eyes. His face was more sculpted and perfect. The only thing that hadn't changed was the long arm-length crystal wand.

"Long live King Kurt, the Good Witch of the North!" The citizens of Emerald City cheered loudly. Kurt laughed, still not fully used to the new title. Finn, Blaine and Artie all bowed. Rachel curtsied.

"Hey, I'm still me!" Kurt told them teasingly.

"I'm so proud of you Kurt." Rachel told him genuinely.

Kurt snorted. "If I had a gold coin for every time I heard that..." They all laughed.

"Well, now that you're the real Good Witch of the North," Rachel suddenly remembered her problem. Getting home. "Can you help me? Will you help me?"

Kurt smiled gently at her. "You don't need anymore help, Rachel. Believe it or not, you always had the power to return to Ohio."

"I have?" Rachel sputtered. Kurt smiled sadly and nodded, twirling his wand like a baton through his fingers.

"Why didn't you tell her before?" Artie demanded.

"Because she wouldn't have believed me." Kurt replied. "This was something she had to figure out for herself. For the entire length of the journey all Rachel wanted to do was return home. "

"What did you learn, Rachel?" Finn asked.

"Well, I think that, it wasn't enough to just want to go home." Rachel said slowly. "I've always had my head in the clouds and my feet never on the ground, and so I could never really see and appreciate what was right in front of me. I think that, the next time I go looking for my heart's deepest desire again, I'll look for it in the things that matter most, because if it isn't there, I shouldn't really look for it in the first place." Rachel looked at Kurt for confirmation. "Is that right?"

Kurt smiled widely and nodded. "That's it."

"But that's so easy!" Finn protested. "I should have thought of it for you!"

"I should have felt it in my heart." Artie agreed.

"No," Kurt shook his head. "She had to think of this for herself. If she had heard it before she would have listened but it would have gone in one ear and out the other. She had to learn it for herself, so she could understand." The sad smile became apparent on his face again. "Now those ruby slippers will take you back home in two seconds."

"Really?" Rachel squealed excitedly. Kurt nodded. "Now?"

"Whenever you want." Kurt promised.

"That's too amazing to be true!" Rachel's face fell. "It's going to be so hard to say goodbye. I love you too." Kurt's heart broke all over again as he watched her say goodbye to each of thier friends. Rachel sadly smiled at him, then pulled him in for a tight embrace. Kurt held her close, burying his face in her shoulder. "I'll miss you the most, Kurt. Thank you so much."

"Anything for you Rachel Berry. If you're ever in Oz again, don't be afraid to come knocking on the Northern Palace doors." Kurt told her.

"I will." Rachel replied.

I love you Rachel Berry. Kurt thought, thankfully not aloud this time. "Ready?"

"Yes, I'm ready now." She agreed after giving all of them one last wave. Kurt leaned forward and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, then stepped behind her.

"Then close your eyes, and tap your heels together three times." Kurt instructed. Rachel did, pinching her eyes shut. "Now think to yourself: There's no place like home. There's no place like home."

"There's no place like home, there's no place like home." Rachel repeated softly to herself. "There's no place..."

NIOA

"Get her up!"

"Rachel, Rachel, can you hear me?"

"What happened in here?"

"Some accident. She fell and hit her head!"

"She should be waking up..."

"How long has she been out?"

Rachel blinked open her eyes, her vision swimming before her. "I think she's coming to! Rachel, honey, can you hear me?" A voice asked.

"What?" She mumbled.

"Rachel, it's Abby. Your director?" The female sitting next to her said.

Rachel blinked again, her vision finally coming into focus. Along with her memory. She was on stage, about to go on as Elphaba in her school production of Wicked. "You fell and hit your head, sweetie. Do you think you'll be okay to go on?" Abby asked.

"I'm alright." Rachel promised. "Let's do this."

Holy crap that was long! And the ending kinda sucks, but it's late and I'm tired so sue me! This took me over two weeks.

I really hope you enjoyed the fruit bore from my very twisted mind.