A stranger in a strange-er land
By Fire Hippo
Yep, back again! And here's that story I promised in my recently updated profile. Have fun! Review me if you want in, I'll consider it! (Profiles already written up, just need names)
This fic came about from a dream I had recently, that me and my friends were launched into the FE7 storyline, and all the havoc we would wreck in it (namely, the sudden, unexplained pregnancy of every woman except for, say, Serra and Vadia, cough cough phil you freaking perv cough). Ahem (sound of clearing throat)... so, when I woke up, I decided to try it. Only thing is, the storyline's so freaking hard to create something original with, so I created another war, a little after the war of the dragons (or whatever you call it). I also need at least two more characters (check my profile for more info.) This is not an oc.-only fic, so I'm saying the max amount of extra oc's is six. Anyways, enjoy!
I amuse myself in mysterious ways. Don't forget!
Intro: 'Twas the night...
Once upon a time, dragon and man co-existed. They shared a...
"TIP! TURN THAT PIECE OF OFF BEFORE I TURN IT INTO SCRAP METAL!"
Yep, there's dad for you. One minute over, and it's the end of the world. MY world, anyway."TIP! TURN THE GAMEBOY OFF!"
Sheesh, you'd think I'd bashed in his computer or something, instead of playing 31 minutes of my 30 of electronics."TIP!"
I stumbled out into the hall, hands in the air. "Dad. I put my gameboy away ten seconds ago. Stop."
My male parent blinked. "... oh." He replied meekly, wind taken out of his sails.
I sighed. "Now, what did you want me for?" He almost never curses. I wonder...
"I got something you might like." He was practically hopping from foot to foot, like a 3-year-old on Christmas day (tomorrow, by the way).
"Oh? Pray tell."
" I got you something for your gameboy, some sort of upgrade that was on sale."
"A shredder?"
"... Umm, no. It apparently is supposed to allow you to upgrade your graphics and allow you to do more with the cartridge. At least, that's what the salesman said."
"Wow... generous of you. But... Christmas is tomorrow. Couldn't you have waited... a day?"
Dad looked annoyed. "You don't want it? I could send it back."
"...That's not exactly what I said. But thanks! I'll go install it now."
"No you won't. You're over your time."
"But... fine. You install it, then"
"Good as done." Dad replied, disappearing into the next room.
I sighed. He is so odd sometimes.
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house,
only one creature was moving: This little gameboy- addicted mouse!
Sometime around twelve, after 'Santa had come', apparently from my parent's bedroom in the form of my parents, another shadowy figure slipped quietly from his bed, creeping down the hall to the charger. Gently prying the machine loose from the charger, it re-entered my bed in the same method. Chuckling silently to myself, I flicked the on switch. Suddenly...
"AIIIIEEEEEE! What the..." I managed to strangledly whisper/ yell before disappearing in a sudden flash of white light..,
"Ugh, my head... where am I?" I commented to thin air as I looked around myself. "Whoa..."
I appeared to be in some kind of temple, that looked kind of like the ones in various Link games. Oh... GAWD no! I looked down, and was assured to find myself clad in my normal... daytime... clothing. Instead of the pajamas I had been wearing, I was clad in a pair of my normal kackai cargo pants and a white t-shirt, with a red sweatshirt tied around my waist. In the center of the room, there were four pedestals surrounding a large stone. It was what was on them that really caught my eye, though. On the pillars, in this order, were a long-strapped black cloth bag, a polished black sword sheath adorned by jade (, a gold-plated bow with silver trappings, and what looked like a green velvet wrapped quiver, with no arrows. What in... What the hell is going on? And, in the stone was... a sword? Double edged, razor bladed by the looks of it, and shimmering with a mystical aura, handle with mystical- looking runes engraved along it.
The hell? Sword in a stone? Jeez, how cliche can you get? ... Hmm. Well, this stuff wouldn't be here for no reason... better pick up the sword last. Pocketing my gameboy, I stepped closer to the stone monuments. Slipping the bag across my back, tying the sheath onto the sweatshirt at my waist like a sword belt, strapping the bow to my back around my neck, and attaching the quiver to my belt too with no divine resistance, or indeed no resistance at all, I approached the rock. As I drew nearer, I could almost swear that I could hear a high- pitched humming noise. Closer... closer...
Chiiiink! The sword came out effortlessly.
Suddenly a glowing blue rune appeared at my feet, sucking me in a circular motion to it's self, twirling me around and around...
"AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Was how I eloquently described the feeling, for the second time in five minutes.
Thud
Yep, just my luck. Who else could of possibly landed smack dab on a rock? Oooh, hard, too.
The sudden blow to the belly, mixed in with the dizzying ride and the fatigue, was too much for my poor stomach. What goes down must come up when you're me. Owww... I hate throwing up.
Done emptying myself of Christmas Eve's dinner, I sat up and looked around me. What now?
I appeared to be on a rocky cliff; on the outskirts of a very long looking strip of plain. Rather hard to tell, dusk as it was. Dusk? It was midnight when I got... well, got moved. Accepting this resignedly, I looked on. This cliff appeared to also be on the fringes of a set of snow-covered mountains. Looks like I landed in the only area that wasn't snow- covered. Jeez-us, just goes a long way to show how screwed up my luck is. Shifting my leg slightly, I felt a sharp pain digging into it. Son of a... is that the sword? Re-positioning myself, I stood up. After groping (you know what I mean, don't be perverted) around blindly in the dark for a bit, my hand found the hilt of the sword on the ground. Picking it up gently, I tried to sheath it. Luckily, it slid neatly in. Suddenly, I spotted a dark figure from up the mountain. Reaching into the bag, I felt around. Torch, torch, please, just a single torch... My hand connected with what felt like a piece of tree bark attached to something. The moment I swept it out of my satchel, it burst into flames, revealing a group of five scruffy-looking men. Score! Now, what the hell do they want? Something tells me...
We stood in silence for a couple of moments, examining each other. Finally one, who looked more powerful then his companions (which was saying a hell a lot), stepped forward with a sadistic sneer on his face. "What have we here? A lone boy, lost in the wild? Here, let me help you with that sword, a child your age shouldn't have such a dangerous toy." He made as if to approach.
Cheesy bad guy line number 46, coming right up! Christ, what is his problem? That was a line crappy enough to be part of, say, Adventure Quest! ...Could it be?...Well, I might as well give him good guy answer number 46 for good measure. Unsheathing the sword and causing him to step back, I responded. "No thank you, sir (major sarcasm here), I think I can handle this on my own. Besides, bad things tend to happen to untrained people who handle this blade." For good measure I swung the sword in what I thought was a skillful way, with a self-confident half grin that probably looked more like laughter. The bandits shifted uneasily, beginning to wonder about their target selection. One of the stupider ones asked "Is it cursed?". He was quickly shut up.
I almost laughed. "I believe so." I responded truthfully. I mean, nothing but bad luck so far.
"Well, cursed or not, we're taking it. Got any other valuables on you? Or will we be forced to work you as a slave?" the guy I supposed was the boss replied. Touché!
As we readied for combat, I called out to the rest of them. "You were dumb enough to pick a fight with a swordsmaster." Hey, if that don't scare 'em... "You can still save your lives by fleeing. I won't chase you for now." Swordsmaster, indeed. I got here a minutes ago! Ha!
The boss jumped down at me, howling "If you dare insult the Taliver bandits, then you get the honor of dying at their hands! "Taliver? Where have I heard that before? With speed surprising even me, I dropped to a knee and parried the axe, giving it an upward flick and stabbing the man in the arm. The axe lazily thrummed its way through the air, bedding it's self deep in a tree stump. I stood back up and leaned on my sword, grinning at him. "Try again, chubby." I ducked again as a smaller throwing axe thrummed over my head, thudding into the same tree. "I was wondering what you guys were up to" I quipped, backing off to a cliff face that I deemed unclimbable to keep my back protected, the bandits edging off as I went past them.
The leader finally got his axe out of the tree, and promptly charged me again. Is he retarded or something? Stepping to the side as he lunged, I practically gutted him. Suddenly the other four bandits launched their hand axes. I was able to parry one, but the other three hit me upside the head, and knocked me face-first into the ground. The leader managed to laugh, as the others slopped vulnerary over his wounds. "Pah hah... hah. Even the best... fall to the Taliver."
I spat out some dirt, then slowly stood up. "What do you mean, the best? I'm only level one!" Well, I don't really know that, but judging by their faces, I must of hit a nerve. I reached a hand up to my head and felt around. I don't feel hurt... HA! "Congratulations, you shaved an inch of my hair off the top of my head. Y'all should go into the haircutting business!"
The boss growled and launched himself at me for the third time. I disappeared , only to reappear in four in front of him, building up speed until I was a white blur, slashing out at him once, two, three, four times! Critical! I thought to myself. Now, how do I know that?
The other four chose this moment to launch their hand axes hastily at me and bolt. Bad move. The axes missed by miles, and coming the way they came like boomerangs, approached their own owners. Two of them hit their owners, one in the neck, the other in the leg. One died instantly, and the other stumbled and fell. I approached him as he attempted to crawl away. "You. Don't move." He kept on going. I slammed the sword into his hair, millimeters away from his head. He flinched and got the point.
"Righto, I got a couple of questions for you." He turned his head away, lips tightly pursed. "Oh, come on, I'm not gonna ask you where your boss's secret treehouse is or something, I just wanna know simple stuff. You can save your life here, mister." I nudged his head with an edge of my sword, leaving a light red line.
The bandit winced." Ok, shoot."
"Who the do you think you are, attacking innocent travelers? It's very disorienting, lost as I am."
"Well... Magron said... valuable sword... heh." The bandit faltered.
"Oh, so you were following that moron that attacked me's orders? Nothing personal against me...ok. Now, would you be as so kind as to tell me where the hell I am?
"Erm... the town of Rema is closest that way." He said, pointing.
"... Not helping. Ok, what country am I in?"
I almost jumped as he started laughing. "Hahahahahaha! You don't even know that?"
I slammed the flat of the blade hard against his skull. "Answer me, dammit!"
The bandit stared up at me, consciousness ebbing. "Welcome to Ilia..." He slumped down, stunned.
Holy ... Ilia? Oh my god... I'm in Fire Emblem?... I'm trapped in the game! Trapped in FE7... wow. I wonder how many other people got this lucky? And I really am a swordsmaster?
Still amazed, I walked over to the corpse of the dead leader, searching his pockets. Silver dagger... keep, bag of gold... definitely keep, map... keep, ...hmmm? What the flux is this? I picked up the circular stone. It looks sorta like a piece of rune essence from Runescape, only it has an odd rune in the center that somehow resembled something like a mushroom. I know this... a master seal? How the hell did he get one of those? I held it in front of me, examining it. It seems to be glowing... flashing... what the hell! AIEEEEEEEEE! It's... holding me in place with magic! Lightning... what the...? Lightning is hitting me, but not hurting me... oh god no, not the teleport thing!... It teleported me five feet away? Lightning again... gone? What in god's name...
My gameboy was making strange noises, so I flipped it open. On the screen was a green haired character leveling up from swordsmaster to... marksranger? Level one marksranger, pretty good stats... can now use bows? Sight increased? Maturity increased? What the hell?
I looked down at myself. For one thing, I seem to be... taller. For another... what the hell's with all this hair over my eyes? It's... green? Green hair? Why is my quiver full of arrows now? And where the hell did my glasses go, and why can I still see?
The class-up screen is still on, so I study it closely. Can now use a bow... sight increased... maturity increased... that's ME! That's freaking me on the screen!
I reach into the bag, mentally begging for a mirror, and I find, again to my surprise, a hand mirror. I examine the figure in the mirror. Fair strands of green hair come down to about the eyebrows, blue eyes peering curiously into the glass. Rather lanky... looks like I've gone from 5'5" to 6'3"...wow.
I now examine the bag. Don't even try to tell me that I just lucked out with the stuff... that bag was empty when I picked it up. I stuck my hand in the bag and felt around. Nothing. Well then... can I have an elixir? I wait a second and yep, it's there. I gained about 15 more health in that leveling up... I might as well heal. I replace it in the bag, think gone, and it isn't there any more. Woo woo woo! I'm a'liking this! Well, how about, say, a piece of chocolate?
Wow. It actually showed up. Hmmm... this is useful! How about a rocket launcher?
A couple of seconds later, a note fell into my hand. I squinted in the semi-darkness, and was barely able to make out 'Don't push it (HA!).
...Ok, it has limits. Fine by me. Now, I might as well head for that town the bandit spoke of.
No sooner had I thought this then I was suddenly teleported into a forest, with a town nearby. Woah... well, that's convenient. Hope it's the right place.
I examined the town as I could see it. Wreaths decorated every door, garlands were wrapped around every pipe or pole sticking out, including the gate, and the arena. Mistletoe hung in one place too many for my liking, and red clothing seemed to be everywhere. The gate, probably hung with several dozen pine trees, said, "Welcome to Rema.". And below it, a sign said
"Home of the Mercenary's guild, and headquarters of the Pegasus brigades of Ilia"
The best way to describe my description would be four letters. O, M, F, and G.
Wheeee! That was fun.
I guess I'm about 19 in this story. Yeah, but I look about 21. I'm not actually, obviously
Five pages for a first chappie... yeah, guess you're right. That IS long!
I actually like Adventure Quest and Runescape a lot. But seriously, some of the lines are terrible.
Please review, folks. I wanna know what you think! Flames or not! One way or another, I get a warm (or hot) fuzzy feeling reading them, and I'm pretty cold right now! That goddamm wood stove never is enough.
Signing off
Da Hippo