Disclaimer: I don't own Rookie Blue ~ maybe as a Christmas present?
Set after the fishing cabin but before she has to work again. I'm thinking they went on like a Friday and this would be Sunday night before work Monday morning.
Maybe it was the fact that he was there when she needed him. Maybe it was the fact that his tough exterior was just a cover for his soft insides. Maybe it was the way she felt on fire and wanted when he kissed her. Maybe it was just that he was off limits to her.
More likely it's all of those things in comparison to Luke. Luke is never there when she wants and needs him to be. Luke has a soft exterior that hides how cold he is on the inside. Luke never made her feel wanted, even when they were having sex. Luke was allowed, the safe bet, 'the good guy'.
With this in mind, she stays with Luke. She ignores how she feels about someone else and tries to stay the course. She just started a new job and they haven't been together long, things just need some getting used to. Like the fact that his job is more important than her. She can understand children and maybe parents being more important but that's not Luke, that's more like S—.
She refuses to think his name at this point. It will just serve to depress her more. Their relationship, professional and personal, isn't too good right now and she's not sure who's to blame. She ran to him only to run from him but he's letting it get in the way of their job and now she doesn't know what to do. So for now she's not going to think his name or about him or even how much she wishes he would just hold her while she cries because tonight is one that she will cry herself to sleep.
She will cry about Benny, about the girls she couldn't save and she'll even cry about having to shoot a man. She will think about how hard the job is and if she can do it. She will consider crying about her current predicament with the men in her life, that includes her alcoholic father. She won't cry about that last bit because some of that pain is self inflicted. She knows she shouldn't have gone to his house but she did and she can't change that or what she did while at his house. She can't change the fact that she left and she's not ready to change her relationship with Luke.
She will wake up feeling lousy and go to work. She will likely be late for Parade but maybe her training officer will have coffee for her. It's possible that her boyfriend would but she's not holding her breath. It seems that someday soon, she will have to wake up and change the situation. She will have to give all the maybes a chance and say so long to bad news boyfriends. But as she falls asleep she know it's not tomorrow – no matter how much she dreams of Sam.
Authors Note: I don't know if I like how this turned out. I realize that I didn't say Andy's name ever and that I was incredibly comma happy. Oh well, you be the judge and tell me how you think it went
Thanks to everyone who helped me with some spelling and/or grammar errors :)