Disclaimer: I do not own Lost, Kate, Sawyer, blah blah blah. If I did, why would I be spending time writing this crap?!
A/N This is my first one shot piece for any writing, and I hope you guys like it. This is set right after Kate said "I only said that so he'd stop hitting you." during episode 3.04 every Man For Himself.
Oh, and I love reviews. Please let me know what you think about it!
Tazitz
Final Impact
Her heart broke at the sight of the anguish plastered on his face. She opened her mouth to speak again, but he cut her off before she could begin.
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past too long
I'm movin' on
"Then go 'cause I care Freckles." He avoided her gaze, knowing she would be able to see though his pathetic attempt at covering his shattered heart.
She fought a desperate ballet within herself; one side begged her to leave, the other screamed at her to hold onto him and never let go. "Sawyer…" She pleaded.
"Don't say nothin'. I was a fool to think you could ever love somethin' like me. Go run off, try an' find Doc, and y'all can like happily ever after."
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's tome that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
Kate felt tears prick the corners of her eyes. "Why are you being like this?" She begged an answer.
"I'm not bein' like anythin' darlin'. You said it yourself, you don't love me, so make good on those words and leave." He threw in ever ounce of bitterness and hurt he had in his body into that statement. It all came back to him when he saw her flinch.
"Is that what you really want?" She whispered, afraid of his answer.
"What I really want…" He let his sentence die in his throat as he barked out a harsh laugh. "What I really want is to be outta this damn cage, hell, off this damn island!" He slammed his hands into the bars on either side of where Kate was standing. She didn't move a muscle. "I wanna live my life in a free country, not locked up like some zoo animal. I wanna settle down, have kids, and be blindingly in love with a woman…" He blew out his breath, trying to calm himself as his watch started beeping. "Someday." He concluded. "But right now, at this very moment, I really want you to be safe.
I'm movin' on
At last I can see my life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
Where all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
Kate let the tears fall freely from her eyes now, not caring that he could see them. "I didn't mean it." She struggled out. "I lied."
Sawyer felt relief wash through him, but he didn't show any surface emotion. "You still need to go Kate." His voice was filled with tenderness. "Find help and never look back. I'll be alright without you."
She shook her head violently. "I'm not leaving you." She reached her arm into his cage and took hold of his hand. She brought it to her face and kissed his palm with a kiss so light he wasn't even sure if she had done it. He took his other hand and brought it to the side of her face. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. He stroked her cheek with his thumb and she opened her eyes.
"We still need help." Those four words finally made an impact. She nodded her head.
"Alright, but I'll be back. Don't give up on me." He nodded ad she turned her back and left his range of view.
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
Sawyer paced around his cage, not knowing what else to do. He leaned against the bars and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands.
BANG!
Sawyer's head shot up, dread instantly filling every ounce of his body. "Please don't let it be her, please god, don't let her be hurt." He stared out the front of his cage, frozen, waiting for something to appear. Suddenly, the bushes rustled and three men walked out, carrying a woman on a stretcher. He flung himself at the bars, desperate for a glimpse.
His knees gave out under his as he saw all he needed to see. Sobs racked his body as he replayed the image over and over in his head.
Kate, lying limp on the stretcher, already still and white from the blood loss.
Sawyer's watch started beeping, faster and faster, but he didn't care. She was gone and so was his reason for living. He didn't know how long he sat there for, but he didn't look up until he heard his door open. It was Ben. "Can I help you?" Ben gave his an amused grin.
"Why no you can't James. I just thought you should know, although I believe you already figured it out, that Kate is dead." Sawyer didn't move, not willing to believe. Hearing it from someone else made it too real. "She's dead James. And you want to know something else?" He didn't wait for an answer. "It's all your fault." With that, Ben turned on his heel and walked out of the cage, leaving Sawyer to be alone with his guilt and misery.
I'm movin' on