Stupid Out of Character Writers!

A one shot by joebthegreat

Disclaimer: I only own my stupid self.

Time to do what I do best… but what I still suck at… but it's my best either way… Parody… this time I will parody what is cool and 'in'. By this I mean 'in' character.

If you don't like the story then skip to the bottom and don't read the story! It's only a story, what's so important about it anyway?

REEL BIG FISH!


"No… no… definitely no… kind of gooOOH MY GOD WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU… no… not really… no…" Marth sighed with his eyes glued to the screen as he looked through all the piles of useless fanfictions. "Why do they never show me as being truly smarter then everyone else? Don't they know Nintendo meant for me to be a geeky person?"

"And how exactly are you a very geeky person?" Roy said with a smirk as he strutted over to Marth.

"Well… I… err…" Marth twisted his face up in thought, putting a finger to his lips while fiddling with a pencil in his other hand. His eyes looked up to the ceiling before finally coming back down to meet Roy's, staring at him with reinforced determination. "I'm skinny. All skinny people have to be nerdy too!"

Roy let out a soft chuckle. "If that's the case then how do you explain my 'in' character being a pyromaniac bent on destruction that also happens to be slightly or severely retarded depending on the author?"

Marth's eyes were dark as he turned away from Roy and thought for a short moment. He then turned back to Roy with a grin. "You're shorter than me, therefore you aren't as proportionally skinny as I am." Marth said and then looked thoughtful before adding. "And that last sentence I said would prove me to be a nerdy person."

Roy looked like he was about to laugh as he responded, somewhat mockingly. "Only to an idiot who doesn't even understand what the word proportion means! Most people understand that big people should be at least somewhat wider too! After all, this isn't the dark ages." With that he took a look over at Link, who was busy looking at his milk, trying to understand how cows could make such an amazing thing. Roy rolled his eyes and continued. "OK, maybe some people don't understand, but still!"

Marth just gave him a look of defiance and turned back to searching through the pile of worthless fanfictions. Roy rolled his eyes.

"Are you still reading that useless stuff? Listen, there is no such thing as being 'in' character or not, Marth! You're from a Japanese game that never came to America. Most people probably haven't played it. How would they know what your 'in' character is?" Roy said grinning at the fact that he had been able to compose a sentence properly. He then frowned as he looked up in thought. "On the same topic, I would never be proud of having composed a sentence properly. I do that kind of thing all the time! I'm actually quite smart in my game, if I do say so myself."

With this Marth almost choked in his laughing fit. Soon, he had recomposed himself and looked at Roy, with a grin on his face. "You are NOT a smart person in your game! You're just like every other person in the Fire Emblem series! You just say you wont stand for something immoral and then you kill some overly ambitious bad guy! You're all the same!"

Roy frowned, this frown soon turned to a smirk as he looked back at Marth. "That would make you, as a Fire Emblem character, just like every other Fire Emblem character. By your logic, you aren't as smart as you keep claiming to be!" Roy began laughing slightly.

By this point, Link had started interrogating a confused cow on how he made the amazing drink known as "milk". Had he used vodka? Where did he get the ingredients? How do you mix them? Link was full of questions.

Roy, after turning to watch the scene with contempt, turned back to Marth. "Hell, we're both Fire Emblem characters, that would make you as retarded as me. Fortunately for you, I'm not nearly as retarded as people seem to think" Roy said folding his arms and studying his counterpart with a smirk.

Marth just scowled and turned back to his fanfictions. "I don't care for you or your debate class" he muttered under his breath.

Roy's face turned to one of sheer delight as he watched his companion. "My debate class? You think this is all because of my debate class? Debate only tells you how to organize the knowledge you already have! You need knowledge first! Stop talking about how smart you are until you can prove it with actual achievements!" he laughed slightly to himself and then quickly turned, and walked out with a swagger, quite proud of himself.

"Stupid Roy. Just because I didn't get straight A's doesn't mean I'm stupid! I'm just too smart for school. Like Einstein, only I work better in the literary department!" Marth said to himself smugly. He then continued to read through the pile of fanfiction. "No… no… definitely not… hell no… no… no… no… not as good as you say you are… no… I know this author already so I wont even check to see if there's any improvement… no… this looks kind of good, but still no…"

After Link had finished his interrogation of the poor cow, which ended in decapitation, he turned to Marth who was busy reading fanfictions. He stared blankly, not understanding what Marth was doing. This blank staring continued for five minutes until Marth turned around to see the self proclaimed "Hero of Time"

"What are you looking at?" Marth asked gruffly, giving Link a stare of death. Link noticed the stare, but was confused as to what it meant. Marth tapped his foot in impatience while waiting for the green-clad hero to answer.

"Whatcha doin…" Link asked innocently with a cute anime smile.

"I'm reading. What's it to you." Marth said dully turning back around and gluing his eyes to the screen.

"I just wondered, that's all" Link said looking down to the ground with disappointment. He then turned around and walked out of the room, looking for something to eat.

Marth was looking through the fanfictions when one caught his eyes. His face soon lit up to show pure excitement as he hurriedly clicked on the link. After reading through a couple of sentences he scowled. "No…"


See? Didn't that story prove how INSANE I am? Isn't that CRAZY?

Wow! It's so witty and hilarious! It was just full of jokes!

And also, the drama and character development woven into the story was amazing and fresh! Didn't Roy sound so 'in' character!

Didn't Marth sound so 'in' character!

Wasn't Link so comical and hilarious that you just fell over and burst out laughing as hard as you could?

I think this was written so amazingly well, that I'm going to go to the forums on this site, and I'm going to constantly write that I scowl or smirk at people, and when I get somewhat well known I'll brag about how crazy me and my friends are and how we are totally different from everyone else!

Am I not just totally the best thing ever!

Read and Review! Or else I'll hunt you down! Because I've totally proven I'm cool and crazy and weird and you totally love me for it!

(Seriously now, because I was being insane and crazy happy fun in the story!)

I'm giggling to myself… you'll never understand why. Seriously though, read my other stories, they're better.

Looking back... why the hell did I write something this badly?

Oh yeah... to prove a point...

Too bad nobody ever reads my stories... so nobody will ever actually get the point I'm trying to prove... except those who already get it.