Chapter-1: The Retard Squad

a/n: This is one freaky test story and is utter nonsense...So it's our first ficcie..woot.. This chapter will be a lil' shorty!



As Harry walked around in circles, he noticed something. He noticed that a retarded cat was slamming it's head against the stone wall. Harry watched the cat's bloody nose smash into the same friggin wall over and over and over and over...again. But why was he walking in circles...? He had no clue.Then Ron came up to him and shook his head.

"Looks like you're stuck with me for a while," he said as he grinned enormously, "Hermione's just left for Christmas, along with all of the other people who have anough money to be with family..." Then he turned a little red.

"What? Oh well, I could care less, she always nags on me about my homework anyways." Harry said to ronas he finally stopped walking in circles,"But then again Ron, you only bring it up because you like lil' Miss Hermione Granger."

Ron gave harry a very disturbed look, "I do not, I don't no why you even said that Harry." Ron's disturbed look was uncanny to that same one his brother's made.

"Because your new pet cat is retarded and portrays its owner's exact same personality?" Harry question anonymously.

"Take that back, you..., you overstuffed macho pig!" Ron spat furiously towards Harry, with his ears starting to look more and more like big bulbous tomatoes growing off the sides of his head.

"Why should I? You're reatrded, admit it." Harry said jokingly.


~*~*~*~


Harry skipped down the dingy castle corridors merrily, not quite knowing where he was going, but he knew he'd end up in the library pouring over books he didn't even like anyways. He began to hum "Baby, One More Time" by Britney Spears to himself(eeeewww! XD). Then he remained silent as he entered the big library doors without warning.

Then all of the sudden, Neville came literally crawling into the library, his eyes glued shut and his mouth covered in chocolate. Harry looked over at Neville and noticed his pathetic punishment for who knows what.

"Neville....what on Earth happened to you?" Harry asked trying to contain his laughter.

"Oh shut up Harry....I've been embarassed plenty of times in my life, but this is just ridiculous. My eyes glued shut and alcoholic chocolate smeared in my face, I'm not exactally the happiest of campers right now, Captain Retard." Neville told Harry, as if to be preaching to him in an untimely manner that bored Harry all too much.

"Neville," began Harry, "Tell me something like that again and I will pay to have Malfoy torture you whether you like it or not!"

"Oh, shut up, you great prune! At least I don't go around skipping and singing Britney Spears, a MUGGLE's work, in front of everyone!" Neville growled at Harry.

"YOU TAKE THAT BACK!"

Neville began smoothing his hair furiously, "At least I handle things like a MAN."
"Excuse me--WHAT???" Harry shrieked, so that the whole of the library could hear him. Everyone began snickering and laughing when they saw his and Neville's "predicament".

"You heard me right! You're just a jealous, brainless git who takes his fame WAY too seriously! Now, SHUT UP!"

"At least my parents aren't in a looney bin!!"

"But you don't even have parents!" became Neville's last comeback of the moment.

Well, that was it. Harry and Neville's friendship ended right now, right there. This had to be one of the biggest fights they had even gotten into. Sure, there was that matter about the croaking pants last year, and the time before that where they were fighting about socks, but this one had to be the biggest fish of them all.



a/n: well..that was extremely wierd.. well have fun kiddies!