Disclaimer: Kim Possible and allrelated characters and logos are property of Disney. I own only my twisted little universes.
Betrayed
Kim stared at her feet as she walked down the sidewalk, kicking idly at random pebbles or bits of trash. Occasionally she would bump into someone, so immersed in her own thoughts that she wouldn't even pause as she tossed mumbled, insincere apologies over her shoulders. She should be at home right now. The doctor told her to take it easy, that her body would need all the rest it could get. She couldn't just sit there, though, not when her whole being was burning with this new emotion- this rage. It was the purest emotion she'd ever felt, almost cleansing. She stopped suddenly as her body was racked with a tremor, then started walking even faster as she thought, Not cleansing enough.
She was Kim Possible. She could do anything. "Anything's Possible for a possible." She'd never faced an obstacle she couldn't overcome. So why couldn't she beat this? It was so unfair. And so stupid! It had been a mission, just another mission. They'd been out in the African jungle searching for a lost group of explorers, and Ron had spent most of their trek freaking out over every little noise. "Was that a monkey? I swear I heard a monkey, Kim. Are you sure that wasn't a monkey?" They'd found the group and signaled their transport to home in on their location. As they'd waited, a monkey - a freaking monkey!- had jumped out of a tree and landed on Ron's head. He'd panicked, of course, and as Kim struggled to get the monkey off of him, the terrified creature had lashed out and bit her. Blood had covered Kim's arm, but most of it came from the monkey's mouth so she was very grossed out but unconcerned. And after the monkey had finally been sent running back into the jungle, Kim and Ron had been so relieved to be done with the mission that she never thought to get the bite checked out. Why would she? It was just a monkey, and she'd been bit by wild animals before with no serious results.
A few months later, she was rushed to the hospital after collapsing at school, her body shaking with uncontrollable tremors as she fought back wave after wave of nausea. After she was stabilized and the doctor returned with the test results, her parents had held her close and told her that everything would be ok. They could afford the treatment, and with it she could live an almost normal life. "Normal for who?" she'd asked, and her parents went silent. Because 'normal' for Kim was traveling the world, foiling evil plots and fighting her archenemy Shego.'Normal' for Kim Possible meant so much more than it did for any other teenage girl.
The 'normal' comment had been the first of many things that would come to leave a bitter taste in Kim's mouth. As friends and family were given the news, Kim would receive looks of pity, and that she could handle. It was annoying, but it wasn't what made her burn. It was the flinches. When people would hug her or she would bump into someone, they would flinch like she might infect them. Ron flinched a lot. She knew he wasn't doing it on purpose, but it hurt all the same. And then there was the sorrow. Her parents had this sorrow in their eyes that they couldn't hide, no matter how hard they tried to pretend it wasn't there. To Kim, it was the kind of sorrow you saw at funerals...like they thought she was already dead. But I'm not! she screamed in her mind. I'm still here, and I can fight this- this dumb disease! Even as she thought this, she felt the tears sting her eyes. There was only so much one could do to fight a disease- especially a disease that made your own body betray you.
Kim desperately wished it would rain, just to mask her tears. She was so focused on the sight of her feet through her blurry vision that she didn't realize when she'd stepped off the curb and into the street. The blaring horn barely broke into her consciousness when she felt strong arms wrap around her, the attached body slamming into her and sending them both flying onto the sidewalk. Before she could process the glimpses of green and black filling her sight, her savior pulled her up and into a nearby alleyway.
"Do you have any idea how screwed up this moment is?" Shego asked as she took a step back, looking Kim over for any injuries. "What the hell is wrong with you, anyway? Did little Miss Perfect suddenly develop a god complex?" The villianess's words seemed to feed the fire of rage burning in her chest, but the realization that she'd nearly been run over drained the energy from her body. Sagging against the nearest wall, Kim let her tears fall unheeded.
"You should have let it hit me. One less annoying hero for you to worry about, right?" Kim's eyes were on her feet again, so she couldn't see the emotions that flashed across Shego's face. First surprise, then disbelief, followed by confusion, and finally anger. Grabbing Kim's shoulders, Shego made the younger girl look her in the eye.
"I've said it before: The only person who's gonna take out Kim Possible is me. Just because you're afraid to have it all-out with me doesn't mean I'm gonna let you walk in front of a truck to get out of it." Kim, who had turned her head away slightly, reconnected with Shego's gaze, and the anger the older woman saw there actually made her a little worried.
"For once, Shego, this really isn't about you. So why don't you just leave me the fuck alone already!" Kim said, shrugging off Shego's hands and walking to the end of the alley.
"Jeezus, Princess, what happened to you?" Kim briefly considered telling Shego to fuck off again, but she knew the pale woman could be damn persistent when it was least convenient. She finally decided that maybe the truth would be the best tactic.
"I have AIDS, Shego." The simple statement echoed in Kim's ears, and the teenager realized that was the first time she'd said it out loud. Ron had been there when Kim found out, and her parents had taken care of telling everyone else. So, in a way, Shego was the first person Kim had told. Her reaction was not what Kim expected.
"And?" Kim started and spun around. Shego was looking at her with one eyebrow cocked in query.
"'And'? What 'and'? I have full-blown AIDS, Shego. I'm dying!" Kim tried but couldn't stop the sob that accompanied that declaration. She wrapped her arms around her torso, not saying anymore for fear of breaking down completely.
"Really?" Shego asked, walking closer to Kim. "So, what, the medication they've developed doesn't work on you or something?" Kim examined Shego's face, searching her expression for any tiny detail to expose Shego's feelings. She found no pity and no sorrow; just that same smug smirk.
"You don't care, do you? You don't give a damn that I'm dying?" At this, Shego's features actually grew annoyed.
"How many times do I have to tell you? I'm the only one who's gonna take you down. That virus is not going to kill you, Kimmie. Not before I get a chance to prove I'm the better fighter. So, you'll have to work a little harder to be the best goody-two-shoes out there. So what? Working hard is what you do," Shego finished, coming to a stop right in front of Kim. The teen heroine shook her head, her hands clutching at her upper arms.
"What if I don't want to? What if I'm tired of being a 'goody-two-shoes'? All that fighting, all those people I've helped, all the times I've saved the world, and what does the world give me?"
"Ah. And now we've reached the root of the problem. You don't want to die. You sure as hell don't plan to give up. You're just angry because you think life is unfair," Shego said, and Kim slowly nodded. "Well, sorry for the rude awakening, Princess, but life has never been fair. You've had one hell of a lucky streak, that's for sure, but just being a good person isn't a guarantee that things will always work out. Life sucks. Bad things happen to good people."
"And good things happen to bad people? Is that the philosophy behind your criminal record, Shego?" Kim asked, looking at Shego but refusing to meet her eyes.
"That's part of it. Bad things happen to bad people, too, Kim. It's just that once you've seen the absolute worst in this world, any little bit can seem good. You also learn that the most important person that you have to take care of is you. You know, Pumpkin, you've had adventures all over this world, but I don't think you've ever really lived." Kim finally met her gaze, clearly confused. "Tell me, Kim, what's the last thing you did just for yourself? And no, that thing you had going with Stoppable doesn't count. When's the last time you were absolutely selfish?" Kim opened her mouth immediately, and Shego cut her off. "No, the Halloween lying fiasco doesn't count either. In the end, you still played the hero. Think hard. Can you honestly say you've ever done something with no one else in mind?"
And Kim did think hard. She replayed every adventure she could think of. In the end, every single one ended up being about helping others. The things she got out of them were just bonuses.
"What's your point, Shego? That maybe if I'd been more selfish, I wouldn't feel so damn scared right now? That this wouldn't bother me so much if I was more like you?" Kim asked, feeling her rage building up again. Shego shook her head.
"You have a lot of anger, along with other negative emotions that you've never let yourself express. The most alive I've ever seen you, Kimmie, was in that moment right before you kicked me into that tower. You were experiencing something you've always kept trapped, and now it wants to be let out again. So take it out on someone. Hell, I'm here. Punch me, Kim. Not because I've stolen something or because I'm involved in some stupid scheme. Just because I'm here. Go ahead," Shego said and turned her cheek towards Kim. "I'll give you the first shot free."
Kim didn't think she could do it. That wasn't who she was or how she acted. But before the rage could die down, an image came to mind of Ron flinching. Her chest was on fire, and without thinking her fist connected hard with Shego's jaw, sending the greenish woman flying back a few feet to land on her ass. Kim felt like she should be sorry, like she should immediately apologize and disappear, but she didn't. Rubbing her fist, she realized that the rage had stopped burning but it hadn't gone away. It was just sitting there in her chest like a content cat finally given its favorite treat. She wasn't sure how much she liked it, but it was the first thing she'd really felt since being diagnosed, so she couldn't help but feel...good. Kim heard Shego chuckle, then watched as the villainess bounced back to her feet.
"That," she started and paused to work her jaw, "was a hell of a lot harder than I expected. Nice."
"Sh-Shego...I'm-"
"Don't. Don't apologize, Kimmie, not for doing something you wanted to do. You enjoyed letting that out. Don't try to force it back in with an apology you don't need to make," Shego insisted, walking back to Kim.
"I can't help it," Kim said, once again refusing to meet Shego's eyes. "It's part of who I am."
"Wrong, Kim. It's part of who you were." Shego reached out and caught Kim's chin between her fingers, coaxing the girl into willingly returning her gaze. "More has changed than just you getting a disease, Kimmie. There's a whole other world of things you've never let yourself experience. Most of which you wouldn't know how. If you need to know how to live, you can find me at 3010 Kingston, room 116. I won't be there long, Kimmie. Just for the night, so make up your mind fast. See you later, Princess."
Kim simply watched for moment as Shego strolled out of the alleyway, following a moment later to find the woman had disappeared. Reaching into her pockets, Kim pulled out a pen and picked a scrap of paper off the ground to scribble down the address...just in case.
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When Kim returned home, it was to a houseful of worried faces. Even Rufus was pacing across the kitchen table, mimicking his owner's movements perfectly. Everyone cried out in greeting, rushing to pull her into the living room and forcing her to sit on the couch. They bombarded her with questions about where she'd been, tossing out comments about how worried they'd become when her parents returned home from work to find that she wasn't there. She gave them vague answers and quickly redirected the conversation to the fact that she was home now and wanted to know what was for dinner.
Ron stayed over for dinner, sitting next to Kim and verbally prodding her whenever he thought she wasn't really eating. After dinner, Ron said goodnight and Kim stopped him at the door, ignoring his flinch as she hugged him tightly. If he'd been paying more attention, he would have known it was goodbye.
Kim took a particularly long shower, the last 20 minutes of which was spent fighting the tremors that had been threatening since dinner. As soon as the tremors stopped, the nausea hit her full on and sent her tumbling to her knees in front of the toilet. She didn't even have time to wrap a towel around herself before her mother flung the door open, drawn by the sound of a body hitting the floor.
The fear in her parents' eyes as they helped her to bed still couldn't mask the sorrow, and Kim made her decision.
After everyone had gone to bed and to sleep, Kim Possible climbed out her window in her mission outfit with a dufflebag full of clothes and a backpack full of personal amenities and medication...mostly medication. Her Kimmunicator lay next to a note on her pillow. She'd left the note to say goodbye, but she refused to say she was sorry. She had nothing to apologize for. Not anymore.
Landing softly on the ground, Kim checked the piece of paper in her pocket again to make sure she remembered the address before taking off. She was headed to a no-tell-motel across town and to the one person she knew wouldn't treat her like an invalid. She was going to find some justice in this world again, even if she had to take on the whole world to do it. But she wouldn't do it alone.
