Jason had cleaned the pool when he came to visit two days ago, Alison told her. He hadn't been all for hearing about Charlotte, though. The thing was Alison had to talk. So Emily gladly listened, once both of them were out in the blonde's back yard and settled in the water. It was the least she could do, after staying gone – hidden, almost – for three years in the other side of the country.
With her own hands taken in Alison's, Emily didn't think about the dollhouse. She didn't dare giving herself the right of feeling even slightly resentful while Alison was telling her about all the things she'd shared with her sister along those years at the clinic; fresh cookies, letters, roses, hugs, hope, tears and attempts of laughing, ones more successful than others.
Alison's eyes flooded gradually as she spoke, and Emily was realizing her own capacity of seeing Charlotte for the first time through those eyes and actually loving her as well.
When a tear finally streaked down Alison's face to meet the chlorinated water, Emily wrapped her arms around her. The blonde's embrace was even tighter, shamelessly desperate, although she had told Emily only happy recent memories.
- I have my own little family now – she said, voice yet heavy with tears, but it sounded like she was trying to smile through them.
Emily pursed her lips while running her palms over Alison's partly exposed back. It shattered her heart hearing those words. She thought briefly of Mr. DiLaurentis and the type of first class monster he had been. The fact that he had left Ali to live on her own soon after Charlotte's commitment made her nauseous till the present day.
- But you know that you've always had your own little family of four, too, right? – Emily softly pointed, trying to push away the thought that they had also left her when she most needed.
- I know – Alison slowly disentangled from the taller girl. – I'm sorry, Em, I didn't mean it like that.
- It's okay – Emily got behind her and wrapped her own arms more loosely around the blonde's waist. Alison leaned her head back a little and Emilly kissed her cheek, allowing herself to believe for a minute that she had her for more than just a pool bath. – Now let your legs float.
Alison obeyed, releasing her feet from the bottom of the pool, and Emily carefully dragged her around it while they both giggled here and there. The blonde had said to her earlier that she hadn't swimmed in such a long while that she thought she'd forgotten how to.
- How come those things are always more fun with you? – Alison asked in a light voice once they reached the edge on the other side of the pool. Her head was still resting on Emily's shoulder but now they were facing each other.
- Because I'm still a fantastic swimmer?
Alison wrinkled her nose; the cutest little motion that only herself managed to authentically execute.
- I don't think that's it.
Emily's mouth shaped an O and she playfully splashed some water on the girl's face, which caused another set of their laughs to be twisted in the air and perfectly fit together.
- What is it, then?
Alison took a second to sober up.
- When we were little I always seemed to know what was going on inside everybody's mind, especially yours. I used to read you so well, remember? Your fears, your insecurities – she ran her fingers over Emily's right forearm, which made the brunette slightly shiver with pleasure. – But you're not like that anymore. You're not that shy young Emily who winced at everything. And, see, that's where the whole inversion of roles thing beggins. You've grown into such a strong and confident woman… while I had to learn how to live with my own internal fears and insecurities. That's why I can't read you anymore. But you can read me. And with all this ramble I want to say that you know the answer to that question.
Emily barely waited for Alison's breathy little smile of conclusion to plant an eager kiss onto her lips.
- I love you so much – she confessed in a whisper, with a palm on one side of the blonde's neck.
Alison smiled again, more widly, and her face was painted by both gratitude and disbelief.
- I love you too – she shifted in place so she could inlace Emily's neck with her arms.
- I don't give a damn if you lost your gift of insight. I'm crazy about you, absolutely a nutcase. I've always been. If anything, the fact that you're allowing those insecurities to come and shake you once in a while shows just how much you've grown and it makes me fall deeper in love with you.
It felt like the words were coming out of Emily's mouth in the same breath and she only hoped that Alison would shut her up with another kiss, which the girl did.
The great amount of expected familiarity invated Emily once their tongues clashed. It definitely felt like coming home but there was something else, another flavour mixed to it. She could tell that it was genuinely different from the few other times they had kissed because now Alison's insecurity was there, recognizable. The blonde feared that all that she truly was wouldn't be enough for Emily. Oh, if only she knew in how many kisses Emily had tried to find the taste of the real Alison, or had tried to comfort herself regarding the fact that she thought Alison would never peel herself down to her, like she was doing now.
Craving to show Alison just how much she meant to her, Emily lifted her out of the water and sat the girl on the deck for a minute, just so herself could climb up as well. Soaking wet and covered in chlorine – even though the towels were over one of the sunloungers –, they headed up to Alison's room.
Their final destination was Alison's flawlessly made bed. It was kind of obvious that the girl's white bedspread would get ruined later, but it honestly didn't matter. Nothing else mattered anymore besides the way Alison was welcoming Emily, running her fingers through the brunette's wet hair and then laying down so she could take off her bikini.
Just before being fully on top of Alison, Emily thought briefly and for the last time of the meaningless nights of sex she had gone through in California, just wondering when she would make love, again, to the girl that she always ended up going back to.
