Well it's the moment you've all been waiting for! Did you miss me? Do you
even remember who I am? Or maybe you are just now joining in on the
adventure...
Well here is the sequel to my Mummy parody, A Girl Named Anck. There will probably be some references to my first fic, but it is not mandatory that you read it. I hope I do as good in this fic as I did in the other one.
And no I haven't forgotten my promise to do this. (Frasier fan!) It's been in the back of my head ever since two summers ago. So sit back and enjoy because here is "A Girl Named Evie!"
A GIRL NAMED EVIE.
By: RedLady
Chapter 1: Eat me!
Before I begin I must tell you this story about this guy. He was this guy that had a thing for scorpions. When he was a kid, he didn't play with toy soldiers or pretend to be priests who perform mummification on people like the other kids. No, this guy played scorpion. He had scorpion toys, pretended to be scorpion, and even had imaginary scorpion friends that talked to him and came with him to tea!
Well this guy also happened to like to fight. And he always won when he was in a fight.
One day he was fighting this huge army. His own army had golden scorpion shields and swords and armor. His army was fighting against an army who had dull swords and shields and armor.
"We're gonna win!" The shaggier army wearing differing shades of brown yelled at his army.
"No! We're gonna win!" His golden army yelled back.
"No! You'll see!" They argued and rushed at his army. His army rushed at them in return. So it was gold against brown in this particular battle and both sides fought well. It looked as if both armies were evenly matched... until seven years later...
---Seven Years Later---
The scorpion dude won every battle... Except one. One time he lost and was banished to roam the desert with his army. "I told you we would win!" The brown army argued. (They had been fighting each other on that subject for seven years now...)
This is where we find him now, wandering the hot desert...
"Can you hear me now?" He asked talking into the strange square device.
"Yes." One of his army followers said wearily for the 468th time.
"Good."
---There was a 2 second pause here...---
"Can you hear me now?"
"YES! For the last time, yes!" His comrade shouted. "Man, I'm thirsty." He continued to comment, then fell over dead.
"Can you hear me now?" The scorpion dude asked. The only answer he got was a gurgling choking sound.
"What? I can't hear you! You're breaking up!"
He threw down the phone annoyed. "Nation wide! HAH! Yeah right!"
Then he realized that he was all alone. He fell to his knees in despair. "I've lost everything!" He yelled. "I've lost the war! I've lost my army and I even lost my phone!" His stomach grumbled from hunger which he obviously didn't lose yet.
And the great god Anubis, whom I am told is the god of the dead, I think... creepy... anyway, he took pity upon the scorpion dude and sent him a scorpion friend to eat so he wouldn't be hungry anymore.
A black scorpion arose from the sands moaning like a freshly awoken mummy. It was holding a sign that said... "Eat me."
The scorpion dude looked at him in shock, his eyes as big as his eye brow. (The better to see you with?)
"Eat me!" The black scorpion chanted.
"Why would I want to eat you?" The scorpion dude asked in shock. "I love scorpions, not to eat of course..."
"Ah hah! You think you are too good to eat me!" The scorpion said waving his sign in the scorpion dude's face.
"No... It's just scorpions are my friends... they are like my deities."
"You wouldn't know a scorpion from an ant, you are so dumb!" The scorpion called angrily.
"What?"
"Your momma was so fat she caused an eclipse!"
"No she didn't..."
"Shut up I am trying to insult you here!"
"Why?"
"What would you do if your only purpose in life is to be eaten by some big dumb guy?"
"Who is gonna eat you?" The scorpion dude said confused. Then he realized that the scorpion had meant him. And he had just called him dumb!
"Wait a moment! Are you saying I'm stupid?"
"That's what dumb means, smart one!" The scorpion said yelling.
"Wait! And you said my mom's fat? That's not very nice!"
"HAH HAH! I can think of a lot more insults than that." The scorpion yelled trying to think of more.
"I don't like you." The scorpion dude said crossly.
"Bite me!" The scorpion said distracted.
"I WILL!!!"
And with that the scorpion dude picked up the scorpion, which stung him in surprise and took a chomp out of his head.
[Stay tuned... if you thought that was bad, wait till the next chapter... Where there phones in ancient Egypt?]
Well here is the sequel to my Mummy parody, A Girl Named Anck. There will probably be some references to my first fic, but it is not mandatory that you read it. I hope I do as good in this fic as I did in the other one.
And no I haven't forgotten my promise to do this. (Frasier fan!) It's been in the back of my head ever since two summers ago. So sit back and enjoy because here is "A Girl Named Evie!"
A GIRL NAMED EVIE.
By: RedLady
Chapter 1: Eat me!
Before I begin I must tell you this story about this guy. He was this guy that had a thing for scorpions. When he was a kid, he didn't play with toy soldiers or pretend to be priests who perform mummification on people like the other kids. No, this guy played scorpion. He had scorpion toys, pretended to be scorpion, and even had imaginary scorpion friends that talked to him and came with him to tea!
Well this guy also happened to like to fight. And he always won when he was in a fight.
One day he was fighting this huge army. His own army had golden scorpion shields and swords and armor. His army was fighting against an army who had dull swords and shields and armor.
"We're gonna win!" The shaggier army wearing differing shades of brown yelled at his army.
"No! We're gonna win!" His golden army yelled back.
"No! You'll see!" They argued and rushed at his army. His army rushed at them in return. So it was gold against brown in this particular battle and both sides fought well. It looked as if both armies were evenly matched... until seven years later...
---Seven Years Later---
The scorpion dude won every battle... Except one. One time he lost and was banished to roam the desert with his army. "I told you we would win!" The brown army argued. (They had been fighting each other on that subject for seven years now...)
This is where we find him now, wandering the hot desert...
"Can you hear me now?" He asked talking into the strange square device.
"Yes." One of his army followers said wearily for the 468th time.
"Good."
---There was a 2 second pause here...---
"Can you hear me now?"
"YES! For the last time, yes!" His comrade shouted. "Man, I'm thirsty." He continued to comment, then fell over dead.
"Can you hear me now?" The scorpion dude asked. The only answer he got was a gurgling choking sound.
"What? I can't hear you! You're breaking up!"
He threw down the phone annoyed. "Nation wide! HAH! Yeah right!"
Then he realized that he was all alone. He fell to his knees in despair. "I've lost everything!" He yelled. "I've lost the war! I've lost my army and I even lost my phone!" His stomach grumbled from hunger which he obviously didn't lose yet.
And the great god Anubis, whom I am told is the god of the dead, I think... creepy... anyway, he took pity upon the scorpion dude and sent him a scorpion friend to eat so he wouldn't be hungry anymore.
A black scorpion arose from the sands moaning like a freshly awoken mummy. It was holding a sign that said... "Eat me."
The scorpion dude looked at him in shock, his eyes as big as his eye brow. (The better to see you with?)
"Eat me!" The black scorpion chanted.
"Why would I want to eat you?" The scorpion dude asked in shock. "I love scorpions, not to eat of course..."
"Ah hah! You think you are too good to eat me!" The scorpion said waving his sign in the scorpion dude's face.
"No... It's just scorpions are my friends... they are like my deities."
"You wouldn't know a scorpion from an ant, you are so dumb!" The scorpion called angrily.
"What?"
"Your momma was so fat she caused an eclipse!"
"No she didn't..."
"Shut up I am trying to insult you here!"
"Why?"
"What would you do if your only purpose in life is to be eaten by some big dumb guy?"
"Who is gonna eat you?" The scorpion dude said confused. Then he realized that the scorpion had meant him. And he had just called him dumb!
"Wait a moment! Are you saying I'm stupid?"
"That's what dumb means, smart one!" The scorpion said yelling.
"Wait! And you said my mom's fat? That's not very nice!"
"HAH HAH! I can think of a lot more insults than that." The scorpion yelled trying to think of more.
"I don't like you." The scorpion dude said crossly.
"Bite me!" The scorpion said distracted.
"I WILL!!!"
And with that the scorpion dude picked up the scorpion, which stung him in surprise and took a chomp out of his head.
[Stay tuned... if you thought that was bad, wait till the next chapter... Where there phones in ancient Egypt?]
