I wanna run away from here, away from the hate and pain around me. They smile and they cheer and say they're happy, but I see the pain buried deep in their eyes, hardened by denial. I know they want to run away too, but they're trapped, trapped in their own faith. Always preaching what they think and what they say is true, never asking what the other person believes. So closed minded to new ways, sticking to the old traditions. It's sickening, it's lies and blasphemy. Such actions cause people to lie to others and to themselves and make everyone miserable. So miserable. And these scars, they may be fading, but I will always remember each and every one. Their exact placement, the rhyme and reason, the time of year, the cause and effect. Two little words carved deep into the skin, one with a razor, the other a pin. Millions of words carved into my mind, curses and yelling, questions and statements. One most prominent, why? Why merely being the prefix to the question, the suffix and root varying all the time.

Sometimes…the ache of this place goes away, when I see that face. A face filled with those familiar eyes and the hair that hasn't changed since grade school. You are one of them, but not the same. You believe in the same things, but somehow put up with me. Always you're saying I'll go to hell for what I believe and what I do, but for some reason, it never phases me. It's the only thing that keeps me alive most days, looking forward to going to that dreadful place and seeing you just to argue about stupid things. I always take the opposite side and stick to it stubbornly, though I know I'm usually wrong.

I don't think you realize how much I hate it here, trapped in this hellhole. I hide the pain everyday, so you won't see. And I don't talk about home, or about my leader. I don't belong there anymore, anyway, or here for that matter. I haven't belonged here this entire time. So how could you possibly know how it is, how it feels? You've never disappointed someone you cared about before, never had someone to disappoint. You've certainly never disappointed me.

It's you, and only you, who makes me feel that sometimes, those two little words no longer apply to me. But later a conversation with a certain man convinces me otherwise. I wish I could take something and wipe myself clean of the marks of my past and present. Just make all the pain go away with a simple shower. You've never seen the marks, due to the sleeves I always wear and never take off. I don't want you to see the words, or the lines. They're merely reminders of what I am and have always been. What I've always been told I am. What I still think I am. What the only person I've ever looked up to has called me and insinuated I am on several occasions. The two little words that have always tormented me read: Fuck Up

A/N Kinda deep this time. Think of this in any perspective you wish, it's vague on purpose. In two weeks I'll be leaving behind the most awesome person in the whole world, no joke. So I'm bummed, prolly won't be able to see her again for a very long time, if ever. So stuff I write might be sad for a while. :/ sorry for the sadness.

This was kinda intended for Zim, but you can think of it as Dib's POV too, is cool. :) Don' lemme get ya too down, jus' a lil' bit, tho. (- My southern accent right there)

I guess I'll rate this as Teen, cause it has a curse word :/ (is bad at this stuff) Um, categoriess...sss.s.s...ss...ss Sci-fi makes sense. Um, angst? It kindof is. Be sure to review and tell me if I've labeled this stuff wrong, or if you think it fits a different category or something else better :3 .Bi.