I'm not Afraid –
Prologue
Dirty, black clothes fill my closet. Blood stains on my floor and bed sheets. A knife is on my nightstand just in case if I need it throughout the night. Pills are almost always in my pockets, for suicidal purposes. I never take off my makeup in the shower; my tears wipe it away each night. I have bruises and scrapes covering my whole body. This is the life of a miserable teenager.
I'm Zelda. I'm 17 years old and I don't want to live much longer. I have no friends. My family hates me. They hate me so much that they beat me up when I come home from school. My dad, Mark, works as a slaughterer in a chicken factory. That explains why he is always so cruel to me when he comes home. After a long day at the chicken factory, my dad goes to a pub, gets drunk, comes home with a knife in his hands, and stabs me.
All my cuts are infected and my mom doesn't take me to the hospital because she also hates me. My mother works at a factory that makes computers. When I come home from school, she has a rope in her hands to whip me if I don't do what I'm told to. I have to mop the floor, dust the furniture, try to scrub off the blood stains in my room or I will get whipped. The list of chores is nearly impossible to complete daily which explains why I get beat up everyday.
My brother beats me up and screams at me for staying alive. He goes to college now and is 19 years old. He still lives at the house because he's having financial problems. He works part-time at two jobs. I would be lucky if I got one job. Anyways, I'm not even allowed to get a job. My mother says I can't because I don't complete my chores. My dad doesn't want me to get one because he doesn't think I'm smart enough. Same goes with college.
I have no hope for me anymore. I'm used to thinking and being negative, never have I once been "happy". I was an "oops" child, my parents only wanted one kid, but they got two. My school is terrible too. All my teachers hate me and watch me get beaten up. I tried going to the nurse for some ice or something. Instead, she threw a gun at me and told me to kill myself. I went to the guidance counselor before and asked for some help. I explained what was going on in my life and she told me I had mental problems and something was wrong with me. She said it's my fault that all this is happening to me.
So I have no friends, no loving family members, no future, and no fun. What am I supposed to do now? I have no social life, I am constantly depressed, and I will never be a Psychologist like I always wanted to be. My family said to my face that they will not attend my funeral if I kill myself. They said they would just cremate me and be happy.
Nothing in my life matters anymore. I'm a nobody to everyone else. Everyone says that God created us everyone perfectly, but He left one out. I'm guessing that "one" is me. I'm hopeless and if I don't get help soon, I will commit suicide. I have nothing to live for anymore..
