Atlus owns everything. All I have is the Playstation. These stories "After the End" (and thus, spoilers) are each complete and separate, but are set in the same world.
I wrote this for my wife, even though she's not sold on the pairing.
[VII. Chariot] The Prince and the Policeman
(Fists, Feet, Phones)
Officer Satonaka's partner had a second firearm.
This was very strange in Japan, where guns were hard to come by, but not completely inexplicable; part of what concerned her was that he seemed dedicated to hiding the weapon from sight-and, she strongly suspected, the eyes of her superiors. She'd seen it exactly twice. Early on, he'd slammed a desk drawer quickly but not quickly enough for her to recognize the white shape that was clearly a holster; and much later, after things had changed, and just before he'd nearly taken her fingers off when slamming the glove compartment closed.
It was a lingering doubt for her, a cold fear in the pit of her stomach, but it wasn't the only one.
Her first day on the force after moving to the city, her first day on her own without Dojima-san looking out for her, and the chief had assigned her to partner up with a man who clearly would rather be working alone. She was so excited! Ever since Dojima-san had offered to guide her entry into the police force, she'd been alternating cop flicks with the martial arts films that had been her bread and butter since childhood, and the idea of such a clicheed partnership just tickled her pink. Until a little later that day, when she realized that what the idea entailed was her very first partner being kind of a raging asshole.
Sanada-san was good, there was no question, and he sure was professional. He was also incredibly affected-the way he carried his jacket over his shoulder looked a lot more forced than the way Dojima-san had-something about Dojima-san's rumpled, long-lived-in look. Officer Sanada was too pretty to get away with gestures like that. And he was always, always wearing gloves. His character was so constructed... he reminded Officer Satonaka a little bit of Naoto, early Naoto, before she'd become more comfortable with herself.
"It is not... out of the realm of possibility, no." Naoto's voice was guarded. Chie knew that she was weighing over the facts that she'd given her, teasing out one theory at a time and discarding them. She hadn't wanted to ask Dojima-san, not if there was a chance that her partner would get in trouble over nothing, and so there was only one other person she could call. "It is possible to acquire one legally, the laws are actually less strict than they once were. My grandfather has four, actually, which is certainly a high number. But it is very unusual. To be just an afficionado, it is very, supremely, unlikely."
"Right..." She cradled the phone against her shoulder, while gazing at her own deep, dark, secret: beneath her polished uniform shoes, her high school sneakers, even the metal greaves she'd worn inside the television world, even with her boyish haircut and trimmed-down fingernails... she'd always had perfectly painted toenails. She used to wonder, back then, if maybe Naoto had a similar hidden sign of the gender she'd been born with-really, was Naoto going to wear boxers, or men's briefs?-but she'd never had the courage to ask her.
"It's not reason enough to suspect him of wrongdoing, I agree, but it is suspicious, and you were right to take notice. As always, I am genuinely impressed with the growth you've displayed since choosing this as your career path." Chie was glad that Naoto couldn't see her blush over the phone. "Now, I could make separate inquiries on my own, if you'd prefer, to keep your working relationship in good order. What is the officer's na-stop it."
Chie's eyebrows raised. "Stop what?"
"I am on the phone." Naoto's voice had a very familiar strain behind it, one that, outside of her small circle of friends, nobody would likely notice. "I said I am... would you quit it? There is a perfectly appropriate time and place for-"
"Hi, Chie-senpai!" There was a deep, brusque voice from somewhere a bit farther from the phone.
"I am talking! Go finish her platypus, and leave me to-stop that!"
Chie found herself smiling, despite herself. "Hi, Kanji!"
"He cannot speak at the moment..." Naoto sounded like she was struggling. "There is a hat jammed into his mouth rather forcefully."
"How is the shop?"
"Well enough." Naoto sighed. "Konishi-san and... this one... have been working on a neighborhood association, to help shoulder the struggles of the shopping district as a whole. Rise's grandmother has been very supportive." And turned away from the phone: "Did you remember to thank her?" Muffled groaning.
"I can see that you're very busy." And it had taken three weeks for Naoto to return her voice mail-which meant that she'd only just returned from a case. "Tell everyone I said 'hi,' okay?"
"Of course..." There was a long pause, the kind of awkwardness that Naoto had largely seemed to leave behind, at least in the company of people that she already trusted. "No, never mind, it is not my place to say."
"What?"
"Urgh." Her discomfort could only be regarding one thing, and Chie almost hung up on her to spare them both. "Hanamura has been calling after you. Frequently. And he has been quite insistent that I deliver... messages."
She'd rather get dragged down by Izanami's curses again. "Consider your... responsibility filled." The each gave their clouded good-byes, and Chie threw her phone down on the floor and crushed it with one powerful kick.
Over time, the "perfect" shell of Officer Sanada cracks open. There are some things, apparently, that really set him off.
The first case is a run-of-the-mill domestic, and as ugly as that can be, even she had dealt with them before, in Inaba. A small town, a beautiful town, does not make a perfect town, even without the intervention of... other. So she tries to calm the small child down, figures Sanada will get a statement. But the offender, apparently a foster father, doesn't even open his mouth before Sanada has thrown a punch that busts the man's face open like a summer watermelon.
It should be enough, but her partner keeps his job. Well, she rationalizes, who can blame him wanting to hurt someone who hurt children? She thought about December, hospital rooms, and how close they all came. No, she can't blame him, even if he'd nearly killed the guy. Not that she doesn't file her proper report. And he doesn't seem to blame her in the slightest for it.
The next case, though, is worse, and he doesn't hurt anyone at all. They're called to support fire teams as they suppress a really raging one, a whole apartment building had gone up in what seemed like seconds, and she's barely out of the car to work crowd control when Sanada's got his hat and jacket off and running for the building. She hasn't even her extended her arm, let alone called out to him, before his fist punches in a boarded up window and he's inside.
A firefighter tries to drag him out, but he's too strong to hold, his arms seem to move on their own, shoving people aside so hard and so fast, like he was a member of Featherman. In the end, the only thing that seems to stop him, is when Officer Satonaka has finally caught up and all but flies into the air, spinning out into a perfect roundhouse kick that drives him into the ground, and into unconsciousness.
He never once seems to blame her for that one, either.
Even with a new phone, a new phone number only given to a few select people (Souji, of course, and also Naoto, Dojima-san... she's still trying to figure out if she dares call Yukiko), she still opens her phone one day to find two dozen text messages from Kou Ichijo.
This time Chie drop-kicks the phone so hard it seems to fly into the sun. She turns up the collar of her faded green jacket and stalks off, trying to ignore the stares from the other people on the crowded city street.
"Your hometown is Inaba, right?" She looks up from her beef and broccoli (too much broccoli, not enough beef), but Sanada-san isn't looking at her. "You were there for the Hanged Man Killings."
She slammed her chopsticks back inside the white box, and knew that she was trapped in the car. She couldn't abandon him during a stake-out, no matter how much she wanted to. "Yes, I was." What's it to you, she wanted to ask. So sick of tourists and reporters and every hyped-up power freak she'd had to sit next to at the academy wanting a piece of the story to claim as their own. "I was in high school, then."
The guy was only three years her senior, even if his Superman persona (Don't say Persona) seemed to reach past his arm-strength all the way to acing the academy in record time. He had five year's experience, and if he never said more than six words to her in a day, it had still been helpful. She thought of Naoto, suffering in Inaba back then with a police department who didn't take her seriously. But even then, there were some things that even he couldn't...
"I met Detective Dojima-san once." Sanada had kept his eyes trained on the warehouse, as she was supposed to have done. "A fugitive case. He seemed pretty sharp."
Her shoulders eased back down. "He's the greatest."
Some of the other female officers, even the receptionist, they all looked at her with distrust, envy, even outright hate.
It took a while before she figured it out. All of them, every one, looked at Sanada-san like God's gift. And damn it, she wasn't blind. It had to be the hair. Sanada-san's face was more angular, but if Souji cut his just a little shorter, they could almost pass for...
She shivered.
"Please don't hang up!"
Yosuke's voice went silent as Chie snapped the phone shut, tossed it up, and spun around to kick it apart the way she had her Persona card.
The constant replacing of phones was getting expensive.
One time, Officer Satonaka entered the gym to find him already shadowboxing, and almost turned around and left. But no, there was no point in acting like she was afraid of him (she was afraid of him), and besides, she had to know. After seeing his arms, his fists, in action, she had to know how she'd fare.
She dumped her towel and her water off to one side, and approached with her hands on her hips. "You want a partner?"
"You already know I-" He closed his eyes and winced, and the I'm-an-idiot look on his face was actually kind of adorable. "You meant a sparring partner."
She let it slide. "I'll bet I could take you."
The challenge brought one of the only genuine smiles she'd ever seen him have. "Think so, huh?"
He shifted into a basic martial arts stance, turning sideways to make a more slender target (did he ever eat at all?) but left his fists closed, one arm forward, one back. She turned to the opposite side, and stretched one leg up to cross his arm in salute. And then they started.
"So how are you doing?" Souji's calm voice always settled her down. Sometimes, it even made her wonder; what if he'd been... but that was stupid for any number of reasons, not the least of which was she'd no longer have one of the only friends that she trusted.
"Oh, you know the cop shop." Chie thumbed at the duct tape wrapped around her phone. "I don't want to sound like your uncle." She could hear him chuckle. "How's Rise?"
"Touring. Again. But I'm keeping busy." She knew what that meant-he was wandering the city, talking to strangers, taking odd jobs, reading children's books, and eating paper and bits of porcelain instead of just going to the grocery store. Souji was the kindest, most well-adjusted person she knew, but a childhood with jet-setting parents had still left its mark. "So, listen..."
"Don't. Don't even." She closed her eyes. She knew this would happen if she called. "Don't try to fix this."
"..." Telling Souji Seta to not try to fix something was like telling Naoto to become a fashion model. "I just think..."
Crunch. Time to go phone-shopping again.
The room was silent except for the series of thumps and smacks, arm against leg, fist to shin or heel, so quickly that she suspected that a witness would think they were engaged in a mutual seizure, rather than a fight.
He would fake one way, then spin around with a haymaker, but she'd already be up with a high kick. She would leap and attack from high, and his arms were already crossed to block a dropping stomp.
...We're all trapped in a maze of relationships
Life goes on with or without you
I swim in the sea of the unconscious
I search for your heart, pursuing my true self...
Chie jogged down by the river every morning before her shift. It didn't have the view or the calm of the Samegawa basin, but there weren't too many people out at that hour, and she could work up a good sweat.
That morning, there'd been a letter in the mail. She knew that it was from Yukiko without looking at it.
It wasn't fair, that facing down and accepting the worst parts of herself in the television hadn't really fixed anything. It also wasn't fair that each of them expected her to choose... anything. Why she was expected to stay, when the others weren't.
She never heard Suzuku Gongen anymore. Without that voice, she was never sure what to do. She'd thought that becoming a police officer at last would make that easier, but...
Chie crashed headlong into someone before she could finish her thought. "Oh! I'm so sorry!"
"It's okay!" The other woman smiled. She was blonde, and her face was... was she American? Though her Japanese was perfect.
"Lisa!" Someone called from up the street. The blonde woman offered her one last smile.
"Oops, that's me. Don't worry about it! Thanks!" And she ran off.
The woman had been beautiful. Chie watched her go, before zipping her jacket up tight.
The stereo in the gym blasted hip-hop as they pulled away from each other, then came back, then pulled away.
...If you wanna battle then I take it to the street
Where there's no rules
Take off the gloves ref, please step down
Gotta prove my skillz so get down...
Tap. Tap. Tap. Thump. Thump. Thump.
He rolled out of the way, she somersaulted to her feet, he threw an uppercut and she dodged.
...Every man's gotta fight the fear
I'm the first to admit it shear thoughts
Provoke the new era become a big terror
But my only rival is my shadow...
They were both laughing. But they didn't stop.
"Yo."
"Hey, Kanji...?"
"Hey, Chie-senpai. Naoto's out. Not a case, though. Wanna call back?"
"No, I..." She bit her lip, and curled her toes away so that she couldn't see the paint. "I wanted to ask you..."
"...Yeah?" After she'd paused for too long.
"How did you know that you were..." She made faces in the mirror. "Never mind. Sorry. Tell her I said hi."
"Uh...?" She hung up before he could find his wits, but didn't have the energy to damage the phone this time.
There was shouting from the Chief's office, and possibly thrown things, and everyone could guess who else was in there. Everyone kept glancing at Officer Satonaka, who shifted uncomfortably, and went to wait by the door for her partner to emerge. They made this part seem like so much fun in those movies.
When he finally emerged, head bowed low, she wondered if facing a Shadow would be enough for a guy like him.
She fell into step behind him. "How about food?"
"Huh?" He looked up.
"Well, it always makes me feel better. Meat is the answer to this life."
"Answer to life, huh?" He smirked, just a little. "Maybe I'll do that."
There was a pause before she figured out what he was saying. "No, I meant... I'll buy you lunch. If you want."
"Me? Really?" He looked sucker-punched. "O-okay. Sure. I guess."
As Officer Satonaka followed him to the cruiser, she shook her head in amazement. She hadn't figured it out before-it was just like Naoto. Underneath all those levels in badass and mystery and bad attitude... her partner was a tremendous dork.
Which just made her think of Yosuke, and she was sulking by the time she climbed into the passenger's seat.
Rise had swept in like a hurricane, in town for a concert, and had chosen Chie's couch, rather than a hotel room, without consulting with her.
Chie couldn't be happier.
"I'm sorry Senpai couldn't come... you know how he can be. He muttered something about helping the old woman at our laundromat, and there was no budging." She sounded frustrated, but her face gave it away, how much she adored their former leader, with all of his digressions and private quests and bizarre friendships. Chie picked at the dinner that her friend had insisted upon making for her, afraid to test whether Souji's cooking lessons were helping, and looked up, blurting it out without thinking.
"I've always been so jealous of you."
"Huh?" Rise blinked, and made movements with her mouth.
"You..." Chie fumbled with her napkin. "You always knew what you wanted." Who you wanted. "You were the only one of any of us who decided and just... went for it." Her and Kanji, maybe, but hadn't even he given Yukiko the occasional eye, before Naoto came along? Who didn't count, either, because Naoto had to be dragged kicking and screaming into the whole thing, regardless of how she chose to portray it now.
"Oh, Chie..." Rise shook her head. "You are so wrong." She giggled. "Like my knees weren't quaking every time we went out. I know what you all thought about me..." She worked at a pigtail with one hand. "I didn't think he liked me at all, at first. And then I thought, well, maybe he just liked Risette." Her eyes were just a little wet. "I'm just... lucky I was wrong, that's all."
"I know, but..." How could she explain it? She couldn't voice pain and strangeness of her life after Rise had left Inaba, like her beloved Senpai before her.
Rise made the most overly-dramatic sigh that Chie had ever heard, and pointed her chopsticks at her. "Your heart's just bigger than mine, that's all. You had room for more than one person." Before Chie could speak, Rise sat up straight and haughty. "They love you too much to let it ruin everything, you know. Just let them back in, you're giving Senpai and Naoto such big headaches."
Officers Sanada and Satonaka finally stepped back from each other, both sweating through every inch of their clothes, and looked each other over appraisingly. They were too evenly, perfectly-matched. The fight could have gone on until they'd both passed out, without a single one giving an inch of ground.
"Bet a girl's never given you a work-out like that, huh?" She then flushed beet red, realizing how that sounded.
Sanada-san, though, didn't notice. "Once. But... I'm not sure that counted." He was toweling off, and the work-out had left his muscles much more visible as he turned and stretched each in turn. "It wasn't really a fair fight. Not that it mattered at the time."
This interested her, but he clearly wasn't going to be any more forthcoming on the matter, and so turned away, reached for her water, so that he wouldn't be able to see her face any longer.
One day, rather than tackle any of the mounting paperwork on her desk (never her strong suit), she drew a chart.
Kou's arrow only pointed to her. Yosuke's and Yukiko's arrows, though, both pointed to her, and to Souji. Then she thought for a long moment and drew lines from Yosuke to Yukiko, and to Rise (whose only line was to Souji, of course), and then after a moment drew another one to Saki Konishi, before scribbling all over the name. Then she crossed out Yosuke's line to Rise. Then she drew one from herself to Souji, and immediately scribbled it out. Then just scribbled Yosuke's name out all together.
Officer Sanada had appeared behind her without a sound. "Organized crime?"
"Anything but organized," she muttered, before tearing the paper into confetti.
Chie sent a text message, or rather, a series of them, to Kou.
im sorry - u r a great guy - if u were what i wanted it would be easier - tho not so great to send dozens of txts like a stalker - pleez stop - really am sorry
She slammed the phone against the corner of her kitchen table, but her arms didn't quite have the destructive power that her legs did.
They were having an unusually quiet patrol when Officer Satonaka mustered up the courage to ask her partner a question.
"What's your biggest failure?"
He squeezed the wheel so tightly that his gloves creaked.
"I have to choose just one?"
...I'm not a princess
(a lot of anger in it)
not a cutie girlfriend oh no
don't you know?...
They used to sing along to it together, when it was on the radio. So bitingly ironic. Neither of them would ever, ever tell another soul. Not when they'd both made such a fuss about not caring when "Risette" first came to town...
She pressed one button and the phone dialed. Every one of them had still kept her on speed-dial, even though she'd never called.
"Hello?"
Chie tried to find the words. "You must hate me."
"I... thought you hated me."
"How's Muku?" Since taking control of the inn, she'd only really changed a single rule - that it was okay for dogs, for one dog, to be inside. And that only for her, Chie's, benefit.
"Misses you."
"He... he knew I had to go." Why was this so hard?
"Well... maybe it's best." Yukiko's tone was very measured. "We've always fought over him. Maybe now he won't have to make a choice."
Sometimes Chie wished she could kick strongly and highly enough to shatter her own skull, and then this would all be solved.
"I... wanted to try to make things right."
"I know." Yukiko's voice wavered a bit. "It's just... It can't happen all at once, I think. I'm glad you called. But... I have a large group reservation coming in now, and..."
"Oh, okay." One of her toenails, the paint had chipped.
"Do... call me again, though."
"...Sure." When they'd both hung up, she pitched the phone into the trash bin.
Officers Sanada and Satonaka had taken to training together. First once a week, then two, then three. They'd meet to run in the mornings, and they'd spot each other at the gym.
Some of the other cops had noticed, and the rumors had already started. He didn't notice, like he didn't seem to notice anything that wasn't casework, but she did.
They still didn't talk much at all, either during training or during their shift. But that suited her fine.
She still wouldn't talk to Yosuke.
She still wasn't sure why she'd agreed to come, but his stumbling, stuttering invitation had been hard to shut down. That might have been part of her problem with Kou, too, come to think, but this was...
It was a small house, well-kept but haphazardly decorated. Sanada-san had introduced her to the owners casually, stressing that they were partners when the man in the ratty old ballcap kept ribbing him. The man's wife, though, kept staring at her in the strangest way, and so she'd snuck away from the backyard barbeque under pretense of using the bathroom, figuring she'd hide in the house for as long as she could get away with.
It was then that she saw the old dog, curled up quietly on a mat in one corner. She approached softly, and the Shiba Inu looked up lazily, fluttering his tail just once. "Well hey there, you." God, she did miss Muku. But this old boy was something else. He looked real healthy for his age, but it was clear the dog got tired out pretty quick. She scratched behind his ears, and got a kind lick in return. "You are one handsome devil."
"I see you found him." Sanada-san was there, behind her, again without noise. Scratch Superman, he was Batman-she'd spent a year sneaking up on monsters, how the Hell did he do that? "Careful, he doesn't like his belly rubbed. But anything else and you've got a friend for life."
"So I see." She ran her hand down the dog's beautiful gray fur. "How did you know these people again? The Yoris?"
"Ioris." He sniffed once. "Kind of a long story."
"Everything with you is a long story," she muttered, preferring to lavish more attention on the dog, who true to character had apparently fallen in love with her.
"Nngh." Sanada-san sounded like he'd been punched in the gut. "I, uh..." He turned and walked away.
She eased herself to the floor, and the dog placed his head in her lap.
It all ended up happening more or less by accident. That is, she remembered making decisions, but it was such a blur that it wasn't until she'd woken up beside him that she realized it had all really been happening. And she might have freaked out about it more than she did, except that it was that moment that she remembered the second gun.
"Hey, Chie-chan, the burgers are ready, and he said you love some beef, so..." The husband in the ballcap stopped mid-sentence when he saw her expression, and rubbed at his face. "Aw, was he bein' himself, again? Sorry, I'll go, or, uh, I'll just go. Outside. Of my own house."
"No, wait." She held up her hand before he could keep talking. Now this one really, really reminded her of Yosuke. Better that the adorable dog's head was in her lap, lest she kick her host between his legs on sheer account of resemblance. "Sorry. I've been very rude. I just..." She twitched. "Why did he invite me here? Does he have a crush on me or something? I don't get it."
"Oh, uh, wow." He looked like a truck was coming for him. "Huh. Um. He's just... you know, he's not so good with women. Any women. Anywhere." Some of his color returned, and he puffed up a bit. "Not like some of us, you know?"
"Junpei?" His wife's head emerged from the back door. Her long red hair almost swept the floor.
"Uh, yeah... coming..." He shrunk back down and eased backwards. "You know... go easy on him... mumble lonelymumble..." He was out the back door and shutting it without ever turning around.
It was possible that she'd gotten it wrong, that he didn't have a possibly-illegal firearm. All she had to do was go look. But then he wouldn't trust her at all, and she'd... been through that already.
When Officer Satonaka was bringing the food back to the car, she heard her partner on his cell phone.
"No, I haven't. No. Don't..." Sigh. "Don't be like that."
She placed the bag on the car's roof and waited for him to finish, ostensibly offering privacy but listening closely.
"I don't doubt that you can handle it. Just try to take it easy. Don't overdo it. That's... not funny. No, I don't expect everyone but myself to..." He pounded the steering wheel once, and she winced, hoping that he didn't just break the car. "We agreed not to involve him. Because he's earned the right! They all have!"
A pause.
"It's different for you and me. Because it's always been different. No. No. Oh, for... I don't care what he says. Ken shouldn't be involved either. He shouldn't have been involved the first time! No, that's not what I'm saying! Of course he was! Don't..." He sighed. "No more traffic accidents. You know why. It's disrespectful. Well, if you didn't want my opinion, you wouldn't call me. Yes. Yes!"
A longer pause.
"Are you going to be there, for... Because I promised him. It's not morbid, it's going to visit him. Because... because I wouldn't be comfortable with anyone else there. Yes. Fine. Okay." He sounded exhausted. "Right. Thanks. Yeah, you too."
She waited a moment before slipping into the car. After a moment, she decided it was best to play ignorant. "Were you on the phone? Who was that? Your, er..."
He looked at her, then started the car with a snort. "Not exactly."
"Oh." Meaning...? "Only, because... I mean, I didn't hear... much... but, you sounded close. Sister?"
"Not exactly." He pulled onto the road, and didn't say anything else.
Finally, she couldn't stand it anymore, wrapped a sheet around herself, and quietly padded out of the room, careful not to wake him.
One day, Chie got a text message from Naoto:
BE CAREFUL.
No explanation ever came, and she never answered when Chie tried to call her back.
...He said
I'm the one who's got to leave
I said
Nobody's really got to leave 'cause
I don't hear enough explanation...
They ate in silence, matching beef bowls. They were spending more time together, and she didn't know what it meant. Didn't really know what she wanted it to mean, either. Sometimes she thought it would be easier if she just kicked his face in. But then, they took turns saving each other's lives, and she knew that meant they'd never be rid of each other (Don't think about Yosuke).
"Seriously, though." He didn't turn to look at her. "Tell me about the Hanged Man Killings. What, erm... what was it like?"
She placed her palms on the table. "Why do you want to know so bad?"
He looked into his bowl, and that was a legitimately guilty face if ever she'd seen one.
"We were just kids." She rubbed at her eyes. There was a pair of glasses on her nightstand. She couldn't (don't say "Bear") to get rid of them. "Stupid kids. We didn't know anything." About anything.
He looked like he wanted to say something. He didn't.
It was in his desk drawer. It was lighter than the police regulation model. She placed it on the desktop and stared at it. There were four letters carved into the side, along the barrel. It didn't match any model that she was familiar with, from training or from movies.
When they were training, they moved as one, in perfect sync. His arms, her legs, like two halves of the same person.
"Hello?" Souji sounded a little stressed. Rise was gabbing in the background.
Chie clutched at her face. "So help me, already!"
Chie opened the door, and there was Yosuke, without a bag, without flowers, without even his damned headphones. Just a white shirt and slacks (like Souji, basically), and afraid to look at her.
If she kicked it closed, she might be able to break his nose without the neighbors figuring out the cause.
She let him come in.
"Okay, so..." He was all but talking down his shirt. "I know 'sorry' doesn't cut it, but, uh, I figure I should say that first, anyway, and then..." He stopped moving. "Um... figure out... what to... oh crap." He clutched his head. "I knew I needed to write it down first!"
She watched him struggle, flopping around like a fish, and to her surprise... she thought it was cute. A little. And funny. And that she was just... tired of being angry. "Come here."
"Uh?" Yosuke's hands went to cup his groin instinctively.
"Yosuke, it's okay. Come here." He approached slowly, and she wrapped her arms around him. The hug lasted until he was comfortable, and returned it, and then it was nice. It was. She hadn't realized how much she needed her him back in her life. Just... not like before.
When the hug broke, finally, and they both smiled at each other, Chie decided that maybe everything really could be okay.
But she kicked his balls in hard anyway, just to be sure.
She looked at the gravestone: Aragaki Shinjiro, 1991-2009
"He was..." Sanada-san raised his head a bit. "Friend? Brother?" He shook his head. "He's laughing at me right now, but I suppose he almost always is. Do you have someone like that?"
"Yes." A slight smile. "But she's... Yes."
He nodded. "Thanks for putting up with this."
"It's... not a problem. Really." Apparently whoever had been on the phone couldn't make it. Or wouldn't.
"I have one more to visit, actually." He looked down to one side of the small plot. "I'd rather do that one alone, if..."
"I'm not offended, if that's what you mean." She shrugged, and he nodded, walking away quickly. She looked back at the stone. "So, who is he?" She muttered to the stone, but there was no response. She rolled her eyes. "Tell me this, then... why do I think he wants something from me other than..." She clutched at her jacket. "Why am I even talking to you?"
She was repainting her toenails while she tried to find the words for Yukiko.
"I don't know, he's... sometimes I think he creeps me out. But sometimes..."
"I've never heard you talk like this before." She sounded... how did she sound? "Not even with... or..."
She flopped back on the bed. "Rise called me, before I called you. She said, 'I know it's someone, Chie. Is it a man or a woman?' And I hung up on her."
"I'm surprised the phone still worked to call me."
"It didn't. I bought two last time, the prepaid kind."
"Oh, Chie..." And then Yukiko was in the middle of a giggle-fit. It felt so nice to hear that she was almost able to put Rise's comments out of her mind.
She picked the pistol up off of the desk, turned it over in her hands. It felt different. It was almost like a toy, though she knew instinctively that it wasn't.
The longer she held it, though, the more the buzzing in her ears sounded familiar. It was almost as if...
There was something else in the still-open drawer, and she glanced down to see a file folder.
"Yeah? How'd you like it, there?" Sanada-san was smiling, but he looked a little pained.
"Oh, it was nice... I wasn't really much of a city person... I mean, I like being here, I chose to move, but..." She shrugged. "I hadn't really left town much, before. And it was a class trip, so we didn't really... well, we snuck out a bit. Went to that mall, um..."
"Paulownia. Yeah." This actually seemed to bother him a bit. "Was it karaoke, the arcade, or the club?"
She blushed a little, and wished that she hadn't. "The club. I mean, we weren't really into it. Most of us, anyway. But we met a friend there, so... no, it was nice."
"Where'd you stay?" He kept his eyes on the road. Sometimes she got the impression that he really didn't actually enjoy driving at all, even though he'd made such a big deal about being the one behind the wheel. She remembered him saying something on the phone about accidents.
"Oh, that's... I don't remember!" She bit the inside of her lip.
"Yeah, sorry, it was a while ago."
"What about you, then? Where did you go on your class trip?"
For the briefest instant, there was a look of pure horror in his eyes. "I, uh, I don't remember."
"Okay." She sighed and looked out the window. She thought about the other gun, the hidden one. "You know, I'm not trying to, to see your darkest secrets up on a screen. You could just be a little friendlier, if we're stuck being partners."
"Ugh... sorry." He looked ashamed. "I'm just not very good at..."
"Yeah, I got that." She banged her head against the window. "Kill me."
He jerked the wheel suddenly, turned to her entirely, and his eyes tightened. "Don't!"
"Huh?" She scooched away from him in her seat.
"Don't ever say that! 'Kill me.' It's not..." He looked back to the road, then back to her. "It's just not... it's not funny."
She gazed at him in confusion, but he was again focused on the road, his fists on the wheel so tight that his gloves could burst open.
"It's not Kou, is it?"
She sighed. "No."
Yosuke's voice on the phone wavered. "What's he like?" She didn't know how to answer the question.
There was a raid on drug peddlers working out of the back of a maid cafe. They were called in as back-up, and were loitering a bit as the perps were loaded away. She was... she was trying hard not to look, actually, and felt a little sick.
He, however, looked bored. "Don't see anything you like?" She tried to joke.
"I've seen enough maid outfits to last me a lifetime." He glanced at her. "You actually seem a little..."
"No!" She shook her head. "Don't get the wrong idea!"
He looked confused. That might have been when she realized that his perception mattered to her, a great deal.
He padded into the room in a pair of loose pajama pants. "Hey... I wondered where you..."
Crying, she pointed the pistol between his eyes.
"She's on a case." Kanji sounded glum. "She said it would be a long one."
"Oh..." Chie stared at the ceiling. "Okay."
"Are you... uh..."
"No. But yeah. Thanks, Kanji." She hung up, and threw the phone out the window. After a long moment, she went outside, dusted it off, and dialed Kanji back.
"Hello?"
"It's me again... Sorry. Can I just... I need help."
"Oh." He sounded a little terrified. "Maybe you should call Senpai."
"No, I just... You knew Naoto was the one, yeah? Even though she was... and you thought..." She kicked at wall of her apartment building. "I... don't even know what I'm asking."
There was a long pause before Kanji answered. "Okay, uh..." There was another long pause, and then she heard him yelp. "Sorry, needle. Look. I didn't know what the Hell I was doing. And it turned out that she didn't, either. I don't think anyone knows what the Hell they're doing, actually." Sort of a sick laugh, and then: "Maybe Teddie does, but he's the only one with worse advice than me. If you're all stuck up in a knot so bad that you can't think about 'em without wantin' to puke, and you still can't stop, then you're probably where I was."
She ground her bare heel into the sidewalk. "That's... you know, you sell yourself short sometimes, Kanji?"
"Nah. I know my limits, and I let Naoto figure out the rest of it." She heard the sound of a sewing machine turning on in the background. "Look, it ain't really any of my business besides what you asked me, but..." She heard the machine humming through fabric. "They're gonna forgive you for it. All of 'em. Don't... Senpai taught me not to give a shit what anyone else thinks. Ya don't have to be anyone but you. And that's all I got."
She nodded, even though he couldn't see it. "Thanks, Kanji. Just... thanks." She closed the phone and slipped it gently into her pocket.
Akihiko put up his hands, but he didn't look very scared, either. "I'm not sure what to say, here."
"You're a bastard." Chie threw the folder at him. "So you've been, what, keeping tabs on me for her?" Damn herself for crying.
"It's not what you..." He sighed. "Okay, that makes it sound worse."
The whispering. Just holding the gun, she could hear it. It was like being inside the television. Suzuka Gongen's soft voice, outside and in, telling her it would be okay. Telling her...
"Just, just listen for a minute, okay?" He took a step forward, very slowly. "I'll tell you everything. All of it. I just didn't think you'd believe me."
"You couldn't imagine what I'm capable of believing." She used her other hand to wipe at her nose, her eyes, trying to keep the gun steady. "I believed in you. Who could imagine that?" She stomped her feet on the floor. "God, I'm such an idiot! I'm so screwed up! This isn't fair, I went through all this already, I should be fixed!" She pulled the gun back and placed the barrel against her own temple. "Why didn't it fix me?"
"It doesn't." He took another step forward, and he'd lowered his hands down. And damn him, he didn't look any more scared to see the gun aimed at her. "It doesn't fix you. We thought it did, but... it doesn't work like that." His voice was soft, calming. "Shinji was probably the only one who really got it. Shinji and..." He shook his head. "It doesn't matter."
"Yes it does! It matters!" She tapped the gun against her head. "This matters! You don't care that I'm doing this! Don't tell me it's not loaded, I'm not stupid!"
"You're not stupid." He was close enough to lay a hand over hers, easing the barrel away from her. "It's just not a gun."
He held her, and she didn't stop him.
They'd been training in the police gym all day. He'd suggested that it would help burn off some of the sick that had built up through his long explanation, and she'd agreed. They hadn't talked since.
Somewhere into the sixth hour, they were both breaking for water and deep breaths on either side of the gym when her cell phone rang. If it had been anyone other than Naoto, she would have ignored it.
"It appears I have miscalculated."
Hello, Naoto... she was used to it by now. She toweled off with one hand and held the phone in the other. "How so?"
"I was not wrong to advise caution, but upon further investigation, I believe you can trust him."
She cast a glance in his direction. He was sitting on a stack of mats, looking at her. She knew that look. And she did want to trust it. Wanted more than anything. "You were checking up on him for me?"
Naoto didn't speak for a moment. Chie offered Akihiko a weak smile and pointed to her phone, but he waved her off. Finally, "I was following up a separate case. For my own benefit. There's... probably a great deal for all of us to talk about. Later. But I was concerned, yes. I still have many questions, but... I am confident that he is not a danger to you."
"I wouldn't go that far."
"Pardon?"
"Nothing. Thank you, Naoto. Please hug Kanji for me." She hung up to Naoto's sputtering, and approached the center of the gym, as Akihiko did the same. He raised his fists, and she tapped a leg in salute.
