You have stumbled upon the weirdest crossover ever. You can skip my exceedingly long author's note if you like, but don't blame me if you get confused.
OK! I herein combine the plot of Megamind with the characters of Star Wars. My first thought for this story was "Anakin as Megamind, Padme as Roxanne, Obi-wan as Metro Man". But I lacked excitement for that idea, and therefore, the writing lagged. So, it is now an Obi/Asajj fic. Yay!
Asajj has been combined with Megamind to create Cleverlight, a character with the traits of both her inspirations.
Obi-wan is more himself then Roxanne, but he shares a bit of her burning curiousity and pure cheek.
Anakin fit the bill for Metro Man- he is a bit full of himself, and the Jedi adore him.
In some scenes, I haven't followed the movie dialouge exactly, but kept the same general themes, and no, that's not because I was too lazy to watch the movie again. (I would if I had the time!) I wanted to mix things up a bit, plus I added quite a lot that isn't in the movie at all.
These chapters shall be shorter then my usuals, but I shall update very quickly!
I do not own: Megamind, Star wars, Megamind, Obi-wan, Roxanne, Asajj, or anyone contained herein. Cleverlight is 'my' character, though I doubt my claims would last a day in court.
Well, so far, this has been a pretty bad day. Brought havoc to JedihTemple, yelled at my best friend Grievous, lost the guy of my dreams, and got my butt kicked pretty good. It could be worse, I suppose. Oh wait, that's right, I'm falling to my death. So I guess it really can't get any worse. How did all this happen? Well, they do say when you're about to die your life flashes before your eyes. And this, this, is my life.
It all started when I was born. Yes, that's me, a little white-skinned, big-headed, baby girl of eight days old. Obviously I was far too old to still be living with my parents. And so I was launched off into outer space. I remember something about danger lights, and my parent's faces. My mother handed me my minion, Grievous, smiling in his fishbowl, and my father said something about destiny, and then I was gone.
And that, my friends, was when I met Anakin Skywalker. I saw him in his own little escape pod, blazing through space, headed towards the same planet I was. This planet, I later learned, was called Corausant, but I never ventured outside of a large city called JedihTemple. At first my pod was heading straight for the headquarters of JedihTemple, the Temple itself, for which the city was named. But the boy's pod slammed against mine; he skidded right through the doors of the magnificent building, I soared on. No matter. I'd be content just being an ordinary citizen. Obviously fate had something else in mind, however, as my pod landed with a thud in a prison yard. My new home.
I was raised partially by Minion, and partially by three prisoners. It was Hando and Aura who took over raising me, taking on the roles of my parents. As soon as I was old enough to walk, read, speak, all the good things in life, Count Dooku taught me right from wrong.
All the prisoners were quite happy when I broke them out of jail. That is, until the warden caught them and discovered my existence. He immediately decided I should be sent to someplace called shool. By that time, my mind had been set quite against the warden, but I very badly wanted to go to this "shool", so I contented to remain longer at the prison, even though escaping again would be quite easy for someone like me. See, I'm no ordinary human. I'm a girl genius, not to brag or anything. I assume all my race is, or was, as clever as I was at that age.
But that wasn't all that set me apart from the other children I saw the day I first walked into shool. They wore various colored clothes over their various colored skin: clothes in pinks, purples, yellows, blues, and greens for the little girls, and grays, reds, blues, or greens for the little boys. I stood out immediately in my prison orange. Their skin tones ranged from the palest peach to the deepest chocolate. Mine was white as chalk. And my oversized bald head. They all had either long or short hair, also in varying colors.
Right away I noticed that there was a familiar face in my class. Little Anakin Skywalker, who was now my age, was in the front of the room, lifting the teacher's desk over his head… with the teacher sitting on it. Oh, yes, I almost forgot. Anakin Skywalker is invincible. He has super strength, super speed, super vision, and, of course, super lightsaber skills. Oh, and he can fly.
I hoped Anakin might recognize me, that I might have a friend among the children, but no, he stared as shocked as the rest. I heard their whispers all through math (the kind of math I understood at two weeks of age, but that would be bragging), but it wasn't until recess that things went downhill.
I was standing outside, gazing over the fence at the older children playing in their shoolyard in the valley below. I didn't know them then, of course, but later I realized that three of the older children I'd seen would play a very important part in my life. The first was the boy with ginger hair, and the second was the petite brunette girl, and the third was the girl with smooth black hair. I always noticed things like hair; it was such a fascination to a little girl with none of her own.
"Hey Jailbird!" I whirled. Me? What did a bird have to do with living in jail?
"Yeah, you. We're playing dodge ball. Wanna join us?" It was Anakin Skywalker, as well as a cluster of children who seemed to follow him like puppies. I didn't want to become one of his puppies.
"No thank you. I want to play all by myself."
"Well, you either join us and play by the rules, or you form a team of your own."
"Then I will be by myself." I often wonder if I had joined him in that game of dodge ball, would we have ended up mortal enemies.
"Get her!" yelled one of his teammates, and suddenly I found several dodge balls pelting towards me. I tried to avoid them, but there were too many and nowhere to run. It became a pattern for every recess after that.
That is, until the day I revealed my second ever invention: the ray shield hat! Unfortunately, while the device worked perfectly, dodge balls hurtled everywhere. They smashed windows on the building and nearby cars; hit other children, and one smashed straight into the teacher. At least, it almost did, as precious Anakin swooped to her rescue again. Mr. Goody two shoes got a gold star for rescuing her. I was placed in timeout, which the other children found quite amusing. Minion told me that perhaps I should try to make friends with the others, and I decided to create a treat for them, as Mr. Goody Two Shoes often did, using his laser eyesight in the most show-offy way to bake cookies, pop corn, and just in general buy their affection. So I got to work.
I created a "body" of sorts for Minion's bowl to rest on where a head should be. It was equipped with a laser, which should have caused pie to bake. Only it didn't. It exploded, throwing hot fruit everywhere. It was an honest mistake, really. But after Anakin inhaled all the flames and caught all the hot fruit himself, guess who got timeout? Oh yes. Yours truly.
And that was when it hit me. I couldn't do anything right. Everything I did was bad. So then and there, I decided that if I was a bad girl, I was going to be a very, very bad girl. The baddest.
And so it began! I would come up with some diabolical scheme, and Anakin Skywalker would stop me. He'd win some, I'd almost win others. And as our battles grew bigger, so did we. The perfect little boy became a "perfect" man. I grew too, although I remained fairly scrawny, and never did get too tall. And when we grew, we took on new names. He chose the name "Chosen One: defender of JedihTemple", because of an ancient prophecy about the chosen one. I chose something a bit more humble. I became Cleverlight: exceedingly gorgeous criminal genius and brilliant master of all evil! Yes, I became the villain- and I loved it!
My name is Asajj Ventress, and this is my story.
As I'm sure there's about... one person reading this, make sure to review! (coughcoughTerraYoungcough) ;)
