Being With You

At the time, I had no intentions of not becoming a vampire. I truly believed that if I were one of them, things would be easier for my relationship with Edward.

"Are you ready?" Edward looked scared and worried, but he would do anything for me. This was surely something that I needed him to do.

"Uh…I think so." Could Edward see the look of fright in my eyes?

"You know, you don't have to do this. I'm happy with you being you. Please, Bella. Think about this for a second." Edward knew of my emotions.

"I don't have to think about this, Edward. I want to be with you forever. I'm not doing this just for you, but for me."

"Okay." I could see him close his eyes and hold his clenched hands to his chest.

"Alright, Bella, let's get this over with." That was the last thing that I heard Edward say before the agonizing pain hit me like a bullet.

"Edward!" I couldn't feel anything except for the pain. I couldn't even think, but I knew that I could at least call his name.

"I'm right here, Bella. I'm so sorry! Hold on, you'll make it through this." His cold arms wrapped around my waist.

"Don't leave me!"

"I promise," he sounded sincere, "I will never leave your side."

A second passes, a minute, an hour, and then a day. Edward hasn't left my side, but his eyes look full of anger and pain. Why can't I comfort him? I know the answer to that, but I just wish that this pain would go away so that I could hug him, or at least place my hand on his cold, beautiful face.

I was scared that he wouldn't change me. We have fought and fought over this for months, but it always comes down to one thing, being with Edward for the rest of my life. I knew that if he truly loved me and wanted me to stay with him, then he would do just this one thing to make that happen.

The second day passes with a little less pain than the first, but just enough pain to still not be able to think clearly.

Finally, the last day of being human has left me.

"Edward?" I couldn't tell if he was still holding me in his arms.

"Yes, Bella?"

"I love you." I could feel the tears about to form a waterfall down the side of my cheeks.

"I love you too," He looked tired even though he can't actually sleep, " and know that I'm sorry for this."

"Dammit, Edward! What are you sorry for? I told you that I wanted this, and I know you did too!" He was making me crazy!

"Yes, but I didn't want you to go through the pain. I would do anything so that you wouldn't have to feel one ounce of what you felt when I bit you!" He was loving, but so serious at the same time.

"I know." That was all I could say. I was too weak and too anxious to have Edward hold me in his arms and be with me for a while. I needed to calm him and myself down. I hated yelling at Edward because he has always been there for me and he always will.

Training

It was time to start my so-called training. I knew this was going to be hard, but I would do it if it killed me, not that I can be killed easily.

"So, what is the first step?" I wasn't too eager to do this.

"Uh…I guess knowing that you'll have to feed on animals." He must know his stuff. Well, he has been a vampire for about 100 and some years.

"Duh!"

"Okay, so tonight, we'll go hunting for my favorite, mountain lions." I have never seen Edward talk so freely about this stuff. It was very useful information.

"Fine."

The First Hunt

Uh, It's too late to go gallivanting out into the woods. Why can't Edward just teach me to hunt during the day? At least I had the chance of not falling asleep while walking through the woods, or getting ready to attack and fall down. If I fall, I'd be sure to get mauled by the animal that I tried attacking.

"So, are you ready for your first attempt at sucking the blood out of an animal?" He wasn't making this any easier. I swear he was making the biggest joke out of this as he could.

"Yes, whatever. Let's just get going so I don't have to think about what I am getting ready to do." With me saying that, he laughed like a Hyena.

We walked, alright, more like ran because I can run fast now, to our spot that we were going to start stalking the lions from. Edward had a keen sense of smell, hopefully that would help, but suddenly Edward ran away from me.

"Edward!" I couldn't see where he was at all!

"Edward! Where are you?! This isn't the least bit funny!" I was becoming angry.

I ran back to the Cullen's house as fast as I could, which I have noticed, is pretty fast.

"Bella? What's wrong?" I thought Alice would have known, but apparently, she didn't.

"I was standing with Edward while he was teaching me to hunt, when all of a sudden, he ran away from me." I was mad at Edward, but worried that something had happened to him at the same time.

"Well, Bella, why don't you just go up to bed and rest (not sleep) while I go look for Edward."

"I guess I will. Please, Alice, come get me when you find him." I was tired, but I desperately wanted to find Edward.

"Sure thing."

"Thanks, Alice." With that, she ran out the door.

I was extremely tired. After I took a nice hot shower, I went to lay down in bed, or at least tried. I was scared that something went wrong, or that Edward had suddenly sensed something wrong, but why would he leave me? He usually protects me. With all the thoughts rolling around in my head, I finally calmed down at about 10:00.

Electricity

"Bella?"

"Edward!" I jumped up and wrapped my arms around him tightly. "Where were you?"

"I had to leave."

"Why?" I was confused.

"The other night, when I was laying by you to keep you company, I felt something, something strong, like you were sending an electric wave through my body. I didn't know how, but I felt like I would turn into a monster, like the kind that feeds on humans." He looked pained.

"Edward, I'm not human anymore."

"I know, but that was what was so weird about it. How could I feel that way around you? Better yet, why would I let myself feel that way?" I wasn't sure exactly why he was so scared.

"Don't worry about it. To tell you the truth, maybe it was because you felt the need to confess your love for me." I was just teasing him, but I think he actually thought about it for a second.

"Bella, I do love you, a lot, but I'm not ready for that, even if you aren't human anymore."

"Edward, what does all this have to do with you running away from me tonight?" I was curious, but I think I knew the answer.

"I felt like that electric wave was surging through my body again, but I haven't exactly found out why. It may be because I still wish that you were human, but I want you to be happy."

" I am happy! As long as I'm with you, I'll be fine." I knew he believed me, because I truly meant it.

"I know." He still didn't sound like himself.

"So, are you ok now?"

"Um…not particularly." He wasn't telling all of the truth.

"What?"

"Don't you wish…I mean…never mind." What was he trying to say?

"Tell me!" I demanded.

"I love you Bella, but don't you wish we could go farther, like marriage?"

I had this question coming and I wasn't sure what to say. "Are you…proposing?"

"Yes." He got down on one knee. "Bella, will you marry me?"

"I don't know. I love you more than anything or anyone else in the world, but I don't know if I can." I had to admit, I was a little scared. I'm only eighteen.

"Please, Bella. I want us to finally be together…forever, but marriage is a commitment of love. Just think about it." He pleaded.

"I want this too, but will you promise me one thing?"

"What?" I think he was a little confused.

"Promise me, that you won't leave me ever." The thought of him ever leaving me made me sick.

"Bella, I would never ever leave you!!! Don't you know that? You are my life, my soul and my body. I can't and won't leave you. I care for you far too much!" He was getting angry with me.

"Yes."

"Yes what, Bella?"

"Yes, I will marry you!" I started to cry.

Edward came over and pressed his cold lips on mine. His lips weren't hard, but soft. He wiped my tears from my face and pulled me over to the bed where he cradled me in his arms as I looked into his eyes. Something told me that everything and anything that he would and had said was true, always true.