Chapter 1-Zoning Out

Disclaimer: I do not own Supernatural, and all mistakes are my own.

Sam stared at the board which had all the information that they had gathered attempting to make a connection between what he remembered about the case he had worked with Samuel and the case he had Dean were working now. Dean glanced up from the research he was thumbing through to watch his brother. Sam had said he remembered, remembered some of what had happened here. Granted, it was only flashes, but Dean wasn't sure he could tolerate even that. Scratching at the wall was dangerous. Death had said so. Cass had said so. Dean went back through paging through research looking up again when he didn't hear Sam messing with the pictures anymore. "You okay?" Dean asked. Sam was just standing there; he hadn't moved in a few minutes and his eyes were darting back and forth as though he was viewing a tennis match rather than a bunch of strings and pictures on a wall. "Sam?" Sam didn't respond. He didn't move. He just continued to stare at the wall. The prolonged silence was beginning to make Dean agitated. "Sam," he said again without getting a response. The research dropped from his hands, the papers scattering as they hit the floor. He had crossed the room and was about to grab Sam's shoulder. However, seeing Sam begin to move again he scooped his research from the floor and pretended to be studying it.

As quickly as he had lapsed into his "zone," Sam turned to Dean panting as though he had just run five miles, a terrified look on his face. "I know what happened," he said.

Dean completely forgot about his research and stared at his little brother a look of confusion on his face. Knowing he couldn't stop his brother from remembering Dean figured his might as well get Sam to talk about it. The confusion was swiftly covered with a smile and laugh, "So what happened, and how do we gank the spider?" Dean sat calmly, or at least what appeared to Sam as calmly on the couch, while his brother launched into what he had remembered from his last case with Samuel from the female arachne, to setting up Roy as bait, to killing all the arachne and all her victims. After Sam had finished, Dean figured it was time to add his two cents, "So what now?"

"I have to call Brenna," Sam said his eyes roaming the room in an attempt to find his phone. Seeing it wedged underneath the evidence box, Sam grabbed it and began to dial.

"What are you going to say to Brenna?" Dean asked listening to the ringing as Sam's phone tried to make a connection from within the abandoned house.

"Relax, Dean," Sam said shooting his brother a silencing look as the phone clicked finally making the connection.

As he listened to Sam explain what happened on his case with Samuel to Brenna, leaving out the detail that he killed her husband, Dean wondered how to stop what was happening. He knew the wall was coming down. It was breaking off piece by piece, memory by memory. Sam was remembering the last year. After that what was going to come? Memories of hell?

Sam continued talking with Brenna, while Dean sank deeper into his thoughts. What to do first? Should he call Bobby or attempt to get Sam to stop scratching at the wall? Getting Sam to stop scratching was going to be the hard part. Dean was running out of ways to convince his little brother to leave the Great Wall of Sam alone.

Ever since Sam was able to put forth his opinions, whether that be through talking or through crying, whatever it took to get Dean's attention, Sam had been stubborn. If Dean, Bobby, Pastor Jim, or especially Dad had told Sam to do something they didn't want him to do, well, Sam made sure it got done. Once Sam was told not to try something minutes later that's exactly what he did. Now, Dean knew that this was in human nature, but sometimes it seemed as though someone had seen fit to give Sam an extra dose of this part of human nature. Dean had told Sam not to scratch at the wall because behind it was memories of hell and his past year without Dean. Sam ever the researcher and sponge for knowledge wanted to know more. His guilty conscience needed to know what he had done without a soul so he could make amends.

Sam always wanted to make amends, whether the indiscretion was as small as breaking one of Dean's cassette tapes or something as large as letting the devil loose from hell. Sam was always trying to be Mr. Fix-It. Whether the wrong could be fixed or not Sam needed to try, and most of the time Dean was willing to let him. Let Sam get himself a little banged up, bruised and scraped attempting to fix what he had broken. It was what he needed to heal. But not this time. No, this time Dean was placing his foot firmly on the ground. That short time of zoning out Sam had experienced a few minutes ago was all the time Dean was going to give him to scratch at the wall. One memory was plenty. Though, because he knew Sam better than he knew himself, Dean knew that this would not be the end of the searching. Sam always wanted and felt he needed to know more. Information was the key to everything for Sam. Dean just needed to figure out how convince Sam to only go after the information which wouldn't cause him harm, or at least harm that Dean that couldn't fix.

So, Dean wracked his brain to figure out a sure fire way to prevent Sam from doing anything to disturb the wall. He was still talking to Brenna while Dean observed to make sure that Sam didn't let his guilty conscience get the better of him.

"What can I do to keep him away from that wall?" Dean mused. "It's not like I can just put up a fence. Even if I did Sam would probably find a way to climb over it anyway. Isn't that what the problem is anyway, Sam trying to get through a barrier? "All Dean wanted to do was protect Sam and take care of him, but what could he do. This wasn't some supernatural baddie Dean could just kill, some vengeful spirit whose bones could be salted and burned. Even under normal circumstances, this wasn't an illness that could be destroyed with medication or a wound that could be mended with bandages and alcohol.

Dean stared down at his phone contemplating whether or not to call Bobby. It seemed sometimes as though Bobby had all the answers, even though the brothers knew he didn't. Despite the fact that Bobby didn't know everything, he knew quite a lot. Maybe he would be able to offer more information and support. Dean hand hovered over the phone, but then he pulled back. Bobby probably wouldn't be able to help anyway. Calling him would only serve to make Sam angry and ignore Dean's warning all the more. Besides, Dean shouldn't rely on Bobby so much; Sam was his responsibility. It was his job and had been for years. At the same time, Bobby might be able to do research on Sam's so called "condition." He might be able to find something on how to stop the cracks from occurring. Dean's fingers again ghosted over the keys of his phone the decision to call or not call weighing heavily on his mind. Sam had finished speaking with Brenna. Well, the phone call to Bobby would have to wait even though Dean hadn't decided to make it. But just because he hadn't made the call now didn't mean he wasn't going to later. Dean made up his mind to ask for Bobby's help. However, he wouldn't tell Sam and would make sure Bobby wouldn't either. No use having Sam mad at them for something which could possibly enforce the wall. They didn't need another slip-up like what had happened when Sam had decided to ask Castiel what had happened when he was wandering around without a soul. "There, it was settled," Dean thought to himself. He would call Bobby later. In the long run it didn't matter whether or not Sam was angry. Angry meant he had a soul. And Dean was going to make sure he kept it, and it didn't turn him into a drooling vegetable. First, they would finish the case. After that Dean was going to call Bobby and see what he could do to help with the situation.