Chapter A – Affection. Always. Abandonment.
In every relationship, there are several chapters that revolve the alphabets.
A is for Affection. To believe and devote yourself for love.
A is for Always. For every sorry, there is always forgiveness.
A is for Abandonment. Leaving behind a stage but only to come back for an encore.
A - Affection. Always. Abandonment.
Triggers of Love: Affection
Her thin arms went around his neck. Hitting the opposite sides of their cheeks together, she made no hesitation to press her petite body against him. So small compared to him, she had to be on her tiptoes just to hug him. She felt him wince at the new touch. As long as he doesn't move away, her eyes closed, that was all she was asking for. Please, she pleaded with all her heart, please don't go. She wouldn't be able to handle her heart breaking. He didn't move away but he didn't move either. What had to be the longest minute of her life, she eventually felt a small touch on the center of her back. He placed an insecure hand over her spine and pulled her hesitantly closer. His other hand supported the back of her short raven locks, his long fingers weaved through her hair. He tilted his head gently to the side, making his silver hair tangle with hers.
"Like this?" Just as she thought, it was his first time holding someone in his arms. Giggling against his neck, she moved her arms tighter around him and he gave off a slight gulp from his throat.
"Just like this." She replied with a big smile. They held each other silently in her mother's private garden, between the large displays of lavender and daisies. Tipping her head back carefully, she caught sight of the most loving expression that it drew a soft gasp from her lips. He heard her and opened his eyes quickly. It was a big mistake because now, he couldn't take his eyes off her. Moving just one hand to his left cheek, she touched his warm skin with her fingertips first and then fully placed her entire palm against his face. Watching her intently through his silver meddling bangs, she inspected his lovely angled face until she felt him mirror her moves. He touched her left cheek with the back of his fingertips, caressing her smooth skin with little movement for fear of damaging the milky coat. She was glad. After countless times of trusting his initial instincts to run away, he stopped believing the lies his mind nonchalantly taunted him with and began to consider his heart. She removed her hand from his cheek and cupped the slightly trembling hand on her cheek. Holding his nervous hand in hers, she kept it pressed against the left side of her face. He held his breath as she tilted her face into the palm of his large hand, her lips gently brushed against the center of his hand. Taking that as a hint, he bent his head, their foreheads gently nudged together.
"May… I?" Zelgadiss asked for her permission but Amelia didn't bother to answer, she had already pushed herself on to the tips of her toes and accepted his strong affection.
Tests in Love: Always
The moment she stepped inside their apartment, she took it all in. The constant screaming, the harsh shoving to provoke one another, and the loud anger that spilled out of every pore in her body. The carpet floor was covered in ruined photos and other displays of a failing relationship. She had torn up every photograph that she could find of them together and destroyed other loving things he given her. A stuff animal he had won for her at the amusement park was ripped open at the seams on its side, white fluffy stuffing spilled everywhere on the carpet. There was the jacket that accompanied her while he was not with her, it was thrown carelessly on the ground with angry stomps dug into the soft material. And the diamond ring that he gotten her for their first anniversary remained untouched on the ground the moment the fight started. Dropping her gaze to the ripped photo that was near her foot, she picked it off the ground and looked at it with her cloudy ruby eyes. They were so happy at the start of their relationship, evidence proves it. So, what happened then? What drastic change occurred between their beginning and present state? Unable to find the answer within herself, she lifted her head to the couch where he was sleeping. Based upon the empty crushed beer cans and bottles of cheap wine tossed across the floor next to the couch, he went straight to numbing the heart ache with an abundant of alcohol. Sitting next to his lain figure, she watched him as her fingers moved his long golden bangs away from his face. His usual happy glow that she fell in love with was transparent. Her heart grew heavy in sadness when he moved his face against the palm of her warm hand, whispering her name in a sluggish accent. She told him that she wasn't going to stand for it anymore and won't be coming back. As believable and definite her decision was at the time, she was unable to change her heart. Fitting together like sardines in a can, Lina snuggled under Gourry's strong arm and wrapped an arm around his broad chest. She stared at his painful face and smiled wearily.
"Are you awake?" A moment passed and his expression lightened generously. Smiling, he pulled her closer and moved his arm around her thin waist, the end of his chin rested on top of her bangs.
"Are you still angry?"
"No." The redhead released a soft giggle and rubbed her face against his chest. "But whenever I am, just remember that I will always come back to you."
"Always?" His eyes opened to see her but she had closed hers, preventing him to see the uncertainty in her honest eyes.
"Yes," She sighed. "Always."
Together for Love: Abandonment
Two lines on the device. That was how she learned that he didn't love her. Turning to her side, her hands glided down her naked stomach and gently pressed her trembling hands above her underwear. Her tears had stopped a long time ago but she still felt the stinging that it created in her eyes. Why? That was the only thing she wanted to know. Why did he stay with her if he didn't love her? Was it for the sex? Or was it because he pitied her? Struggling to breath, she lifted one hand off her flat stomach and fixed her long golden bangs away from her pale face. She brought her finger tips to her mouth and pressed her lips down, stopping them to shake. How could he? She buried her face into the pillow and let out a sharp breath of air. How could he leave her with this problem?
"You… Namagomi." She said it painfully. Tired of it all, Filia closed her eyes slowly, putting the stinging to rest. She didn't know how long she laid there, blocking her surroundings and just contemplating on what she was going to do, but she remembered feeling heavy pressure entering the bed from her feet and moving up her body. The heaviness stopped behind her and called her name softly. She refused to open her eyes. It was him. She knew it was him. She could smell the cologne that he misted over his body and he was the only one who can make her sigh with every touch. Combing his long fingers through her long golden hair, he whispered her name again and moved her body towards him. They lay together in the bed, quiet and unmoving. Suddenly, his hand trailed away from her golden locks and to her arm, his fingers played down her thin forearm and jumped to her hip. Her bottom lip trembled when he slide his hand over her stomach and rubbed gently. Opening her wet eyes, she looked upon her on-again, off-again boyfriend of many years. He was staring at her flat stomach with curled eyebrows, his amethyst eyes moved away and he looked up at her, meeting her eyes. What is he going to do? What is he going to say? She waited as he stared at her deeply. A soft smiled slipped on his face and his eyes returned to normal.
"Can I call you Fi-Mama?" He asked with a slight snicker. Unable to contain her tears back, she let out a soft laugh as the water spilled out.
"Only if I can call you Nama-Papa." Chuckling, Xellos rubbed the end of his nose gently against her high cheekbone, his lips grazed her chin. He whispered a soft line into her ear, making her laugh and forgetting everything about his earlier abandonment.
AN : Side project! Just testing several ways of my writing skills and wanted to dish out my old poems. Yeah, I'm a romance freak. R&R! ~ Ciao.
