Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or Cruel Intentions 2 and am making no profit from this bit of mash up fan fiction. It is technically not fan fiction because I am simply taking the script of Cruel Intentions and changing the characters….enjoy!

"Draco…Draco, stop pouting," Professor Igor Karkaroff said, pacing behind Draco Malfoy, his most troublesome and least favorite student, soon to be former student. Draco was sitting in an appropriately uncomfortable chair facing the headmaster's desk, his eyes welling with tears.

"Sorry," Draco muttered, shaking his head slightly as if to fling the tears out of his eyes. "I'm such a dope."

"You are not a dope," Karkaroff said, waving Draco's file in the air, then smacking him lightly on the back of the head with it. "You're just misguided. All the reports from your teachers said the same thing. 'Draco would make an exceptional student if only he would follow orders'."

Draco nodded, his eyes closed. He still faced away from the headmaster, who was examining the file.

"I can't believe you fed a school owl an overdose of lust potion," Karkaroff muttered under his breath.

"I was testing the reproductive system for a potions experiment..." Draco trailed off. "- and I wanted to see how big..."

"Enough! Enough!" Karkaroff stopped him, not wanting the mental images that Draco's experiment would certainly stir up. "Fortunately for you, you are moving to a new town.

You will have a chance to start a new. It's time to shape up." He smacked Draco again with the file.

Draco finally opened his eyes, now devoid of any sign of tears. "Speaking of shaping up, how's Mrs. Karkaroff doing?" he asked, picking up a picture frame that sat on the corner of the headmaster's desk. In the picture stood a slightly pudgy woman with bulky glasses, long hair piled in a bun on her head, and a frumpy grey and brown robe. She held a large sign that said "Just Say NO!" printed in bold letters. She was the Drumstrang librarian and Karkaroff's wife. "I see she's lost some weight. She looks good."

"Thank you," Karkaroff said cautiously as he sat down in his worn wingback chair.

"I have got to tell you," Draco continued, standing with the picture still in hand, "it's a really great thing she's doing for the community, censoring books and all. That Spellman's Syllabary novel really screwed me up."

Karkaroff snatched the picture of his wife from Draco's hands. "Mrs. Karkaroff knows what's best for young minds."

"Which comes to my point," Draco said, ringing the bell that sat on the end of the desk. "I was wondering what you planned on doing with my file? It's not very favorable and...and..." he trailed off, assuming the headmaster would understand what he was insinuating.

"And," Karkaroff picked up, "you'd prefer if I didn't forward it to your new school. I've thought long and hard about it, and I've decided to send it. I mean, if you've really changed, you'll rise above your past mistakes."

Draco nodded. "How could I ever thank you, Sir?" he asked with a charismatic smile.

"Well," Karkaroff replied, standing to lead Draco to the door. "Well, you have got a plane to catch, and I have got some work to do. So, you just remember, Draco: The future is what you make of it."

"The future is what I make of it," Draco repeated. "The future is what I make of it. Got it. I'll never forget you, Sir," he said, throwing his arms around the surly professor.

Karkaroff pushed Draco off of him. "Yeah, yeah, alright." Draco left with a grin on his face. "Pussy," he muttered, shutting the door hard.

Karkaroff's fireplace roared into activity, causing him to jump a bit. He scurried over to it. "Igor Karkaroff," he answered professionally.

"What the fuck have you done to me you fucking asshole!" Marci Karkaroff screamed through the flames.

"What's wrong, pumpkin?" he asked, thoroughly confused.

"Have you seen my picture in the school yearbook," she asked angrily.

"Uh…" Igor muttered, searching his desk for a copy of the book. "Yes, lovely. Wonderful."

"Wonderful?" she asked. "I'm naked you fucking idiot!"

Karkaroff flipped to the page just as she screamed it. She was, in fact, naked, but what disturbed him more than seeing his naked wife in such a public media was realizing that it was the very picture that he kept on his desk with the clothing removed. The version of his wife in the yearbook jumped up and down, waving the same sign over her head, causing her ample breasts to bounce from side to side, and her long, curly, dark, and unkempt pubic hair was all that hid her privates from the school…the entire school.

"I'm the laughing stock of the school!" she continued to yell. "FUCK! How could you have let this happen you measly little piece of shit? You'll pay for this! I hate you, Igor! Asshole!"

Karkaroff didn't bother to cut the connection before he tore off after Draco, who was already at the gate, about to climb into his father's company car.

"DON'T THINK YOU'RE GOING TO GET AWAY WITH THIS LITTLE STUNT!" Karkaroff yelled from a third floor window.

"So, where are you headed?" the female driver asked, leaning against the driver's side door, staring at the headmaster.

"London," Draco answered simply. "Bye-bye!" he called up, waving out the window as the car drove away.

A/N: I hope you like it. Please review if you do, because I love feedback!