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A little try at writing a story, lets see how it goes xP
part one. How it started.
Rain. Heavy, heavy rain.
Tears. Pain. Sorrow.
These are a few of the things I felt as I watched the scene in front of me unfold.
Screaming. Crying. Pain.
Why? Why? Stop it. Stop it!
The man I loved, standing in front of me, reaching for me. Calling my name. "Ja..!" "Jane!"
I could hear him. My heart ached..
This is the beginning of my death, that happened without warning. A truly cruel sign of karma coming back to get me.
My name is Jane Rudy. I had just turned 17 years in July, One month behind us now. I was a common beauty, as my mom liked to say. I had green eyes, full lips, a curvy thin figure, with a head of red/brown hair. I am about 5'3, and a little under 125 lbs.
I had my own car in my unusually small town. We've lived in Arizona now for over five years. We were forced to move when my dads company moved. Now they wanted to move again.
This is why I told them I was moving out. They disagreed and said I was to young for any of that. " Now Jay, I know this has been hard on you, but You don't need to be getting all stressed out about any of this, you hear me? Your already out of high school and all, so there should be nothing to worry about."
"Mom, I would have to say its not so much about the stress, its more about the fact that I'm not a baby anymore, and you have no right to drag me around like that. I already told you, I'm engaged to Johnathan, and we plan on getting married this up coming year."
"Now honey, don't be like that. I only want whats best for you."
then let me go. I thought, as I tuned out my mothers constant talking.
later that night
"Yeah Jon, I'm on my way now, so calm down. Why do you even want me to come with you while your out racing with your guys?"
"Cause baby, I haven't seen you all week. I miss you, and I want to let you have fun with me tonight with this race. Please hurry? There's' only another hour till our next one starts."
"Alright, I'm already on my way. I love you babe."
"love you too Jay."
It was 10 minutes to get there, so I was there pretty fast. As I got out I noticed that this was one of the bigger races being held tonight. Most, if not all the cars here were decked out, having a new paint job on the outside, and pry a souped up engine on the inside.
"Hey Jay! Over here! Come on, hurry it up!" that was one of Jon's riders. I think his name was Bobby or something like that.
As I got up to the car, it had begun to rain. It was fairly cloudy tonight, so it didn't surprise me much.
As the storm picked up, so did the enthusiasm to start the race. There was only 3 minutes left till start time.
"On your marks! Get ready! . GO!" The cars revved, the drivers stepping on the gas. The race was on.
The rain was getting worse, many of the people couldn't see where they were going. Many crashes happened at once. No one saw it coming. No one knew what to do.
As our car entered the crash, we felt the impact, felt the heat, heard the screaming, smelled the fire.
As we came to a stand still, Jon was ripped for the car, drawn into the smoke. I heard him screaming..
all I could do was to rush out after him, into where many people now had their graves. As I looked around, I saw that many lay dieing, or dead. It didn't seem to be because of the fire though or the crashes. They were pale, surrounded by their own blood, there necks bent at odd angles.
I heard him scream again, but this time it was so different, so ghastly. I ran to the sound, no longer caring about the dead people around me, only about him. But when I came to him, I saw him being bitten by a man. The blood running down his neck in rivers, collecting at his feet.
I recoiled instantly. Why?
The beast looked at me then. His blood reddened eyes staring deeply at me. I screamed. Then tried to run..
I never got very far though. I felt myself being caught, held by my hair, roughly pulled back against a cold hearted killer. I couldn't breath. I couldn't move. Or think. Or feel. Till I heard Jon. I saw him. He was getting up.
Oh god. Was he okay? I didn't have the ability to ask him that. But I got my answer soon enough, for as he looked at me, I saw that his eyes too, were a deep and dark, burning red, when before, they used to be a deep ocean blue.
And as I saw that, I felt teeth in my shoulder. Tears.
I felt it as the monster bit down harder, ripping deeper. Pain.
I saw the shocked, scared look on my lovers face. Sorrow.
I felt it as I was thrown down onto the ground. Screaming.
The screaming wasn't from me.. Crying.
And then I felt it as I was slowly being taken from this earth, drawn away into a deep abyss. Pain.
Stop it!
The man I loved, standing in front of me, reaching for me. Calling my name. "Ja..!" "Jane!"
I could hear him. My heart ached.
I could see him. He was crying, trying to come closer to me. He never made it..
I could hear it when he hit one of the burning cars. My eyes were already closed.
I was slipping away, to fast to grasp onto anything to hold me there.
And as I reached out, nothing. Nothing greeted me, offering me the help I so desperately needed, so desperately wanted.
I was alone. For the first time in my life, I was alone.
It all came in a rush, a wave, a burning fire. And just like that, the tide had swept me away...
there you go, tell me what I got wrong, what I got right, and what you would like to see happen next!
