Disclaimer: I don't own LOCI, or these characters. Wish I did, but they belong to Dick Wolfe. Not making any money off of this, so please don't sue.

Two Men Walk Into a Bar…

When Bobby Goren walked into Peter J's and saw Mike Logan sitting at the bar, he almost turned around and walked out. He'd purposely sought a place where he wasn't likely to run into any cops – even his usual neighborhood hangout saw Patrick Copa and some of his cronies drop by occasionally.

After finishing the arrest of Declan Gage, Eames had suggested that they catch some dinner, but he had told her that he was tired, and just wanted to go home and sleep. He could see the hurt in her hazel eyes at his rebuff – damn, more hurt - but the stress of the last few days had raised too many emotions for him to process. He just wanted to drown out all thought – to just go numb. His time on suspension had made him an expert at how to go about doing that.

He'd heard that Logan was in trouble for doing an end-run around on the DA Terry Driver in order to get an innocent man out of prison. For some reason that he didn't care to examine too closely, he didn't find the thought of Mike's company unwelcome.

He walked up to the bar next to Logan, and ordered the cheap beer he'd gotten used to drinking since his finances took a dive.

Logan eyed him suspiciously. "What 're you doing here?"

"I wanted someplace quiet to have a drink. Or several. It's been that kind of a week."

Logan snorted. "Yeah, it's been that kind of a week." He took a hit off his own drink. "Sit down. Welcome to my home away from home."


A couple of beers, one hour, and a great deal of Rat Pack trivia later, Logan looked at him and said abruptly. "Was it worth it? Tates, I mean?"

Bobby took a swig of his beer while he thought out an answer. "What else was I gonna do, leave the kid in there? Close my eyes and pretend that the system would keep him safe?" He rubbed his eyes tiredly, thinking about his lingering nightmares, the sharp pain of Frank's betrayal, the long weeks of suspension, the rift in his relationship with Eames – Eames. "It cost me though. More than I ever thought."

"You think about leaving while you were suspended? Leaving the Job?"

"Yeah. I made some calls to friends of mine from the army, other places."

"Why didn't you?"

"Nothing seemed right. Or maybe… I just didn't want any more change. The… Job's been the only thing I've had for a long time."

"Yeah, " said Logan. "Me, too." He studied his drink. "You know, this priest, Father Shea – he told me I should get out. Said there was another world out there that I should check out."

"And…?"

"And I'm thinking that I'm 52 years old and haven't got much to show for my life. I've been thinking of all the women I let go over the years because the Job was so damn important… there was this little gal once, when I'd been over on Staten Island for about three years. Met her because she was the sister of the victim on my case. I was so hyped up because I thought that case was going to be my ticket back to the Big Leagues. I didn't give a damn that it was about her sister – didn't give a damn about the cops I had to send up to solve it – all I could see was that I had a way to get back on the Job. She saw through me – dumped me when she did."

"Oh, I get it. You're the genius, and I just carry your water." Eames's bitter words rang through Bobby's head.

Logan continued glumly, "Don't even have someone to have a drink with. Falacci, Wheeler – they've got sense enough to have someone to go home to." He smiled sourly. "Well, Wheeler used to before I screwed that up for her."

"You di-didn't make her fiancée a money launderer. Do you think she'd rather not know?"

"Naw, I guess not. But I sure wish she hadn't found out about him because of me." Logan gazed at the mirror behind the bar without seeing anything.

Bobby's memory flashed back to Eames's stricken face, looking at the evidence from her husband's murder tacked up on a bulletin board. "This isn't one of your puzzles, Bobby!" "Eames, you know we have to do this…"

He toyed with his beer. "Yeah, I get that."

Logan must have thought he was being patronized, because he turned and gave Bobby a hard stare. At seeing the look on Bobby's face, Logan's expression relaxed. "Hey… what's going on with Nicole Wallace? Any leads?"

Bobby took a deep breath. "She's dead. She was killed by her partner, a-after she killed my brother."

Logan inhaled sharply. "You got a lead on the partner?"

"We arrested him. Declan Gage. My mentor. My... former friend. He sent Nicole after my brother, a-and then killed her after she'd done what he wanted. Set me up to look good for it. He thought I needed a good puzzle to get me back into the game."

"What?!"

"He's… sick. Degenerative brain disorder. Impaired judgment, loss of inhibition… Should have seen it, after hearing him talk about Jo…. No remorse, no- no sense of responsibility for what he'd helped her to become..." Goren trailed off.

"Oh, man!" Logan said. "OK, you win. Your week's been worse than mine. Next one's on me." He motioned to the bartender to give them another round.


Logan's brain latched onto something that Goren had said at the end of his revelation about Declan Gage. "Gage… he made you look good for it?"

"Yeah. The choice of victims… there was an insurance policy taken out on Frank that led back to me. Ross couldn't wait to get all over that", Bobby said, with a dark look.

Logan said confidently, "But not Eames, though."

Goren barked a harsh little laugh. "She investigated me thoroughly, like any good detective would."

Logan dismissed the idea with a slightly unsteady wave of his hand. "Yeah, but Ross would've made her do that. Better it was done by someone who was watching your back than by someone who'd love to see you go down."

Bobby's mind flashed back to Eames' words from the day before. "I was trying to clear you… You're being gas lighted!"

He nodded, and said, "Yeah. Yeah, you're right. She looked out for me the best she could."

He remembered telling Ross, "Nicole thinks… that Frank is all I have." He remembered the guilt that he'd felt because once he knew that Nicole was targeting people around him, Frank's death had taken a back seat to another concern. He'd been desperately trying to make bargains that he didn't believe worked with a God he didn't think he believed in any more – Don't let Nicole take Eames. Please, God, I'll do anything – just don't let her target Eames. When it had looked like Donny was her next intended victim, he'd felt a slight, guilty twinge of – relief.

Eames had never really been on Nicole's radar. Declan, though… Declan had seen what had happened to Bobby when Eames had been taken from him. Declan knew the place where Bobby was the most vulnerable. He and Eames had worked out how they'd play Declan before Declan had ever entered the room, but as Bobby watched Declan bait her his mind had silently screamed, Leave her alone! LEAVE HER ALONE!! But Eames had handled Declan with ease – proving yet again that she didn't need Bobby to save her.

She didn't really need Bobby at all.

Problem was - Bobby needed her.

He hadn't been entirely truthful with Logan. During the long weeks of suspension, it hadn't been the Job that he couldn't leave behind. It had been Eames he couldn't leave behind.


"I don't deserve her," Bobby said softly.

He hadn't realized he'd spoken out loud until Logan asked, "Who, Eames?"

"I'm just the..Whack Job she has to carry. You know, we caught this case last year – the perp had researched us – Eames and I. She told Eames that she'd never make Captain – that I'd hold her back. When I asked Eames if she worried about that, she told me that she used to. She said that now, now it was too late. And that was before Stoat, before I was the Rat as well as the Whack Job. That was before Tates, and the black mark she got on her record for backing up her Whack Job partner. That was before yesterday…" Bobby rubbed his hands over his face. "It's gonna get worse. All I'll do is drag her down. The decent thing to do would be for me to ask for a new partner. I should set her free."

A perplexed Logan asked, "Why would it be worse now? Seems to me you got the shaft this week. People are gonna see that."

"Oh, don't you know?" Goren turned a sardonic look on Logan. "Between Ross and his girlfriend it should be all over 1PP by now."

Logan had the sense to say nothing. He just waited.

"My mother had an affair… with Mark Ford Brady," Bobby said wearily. "I had Rogers run a paternity test. He's my biological father. She told Ross about it. That's why he was so quick to look at me for Frank's murder, for Nicole's."

He looked at Logan defiantly, expecting to see the same judgment in Logan's eyes that he'd seen in Ross's. Logan just shrugged.

"For all I know, he could be my father too," Logan said. "I'd be lying to you if I said that it won't matter to anyone. But do you really think it matters to Eames?"

In his mind, Bobby pictured Eames' face, her eyes as she'd told him that he was being framed. He closed his eyes, and shook his head. "N-no, I don't think so. But there will be plenty of others who will see her as tainted if she doesn't let it matter."

Logan scowled. "Screw 'em." He took another hit off of his drink. "Do you honestly think Eames'll thank you for trying to decide for her who her partner should be? Seems to me that if she'd wanted to be rid of you, she could've done that easily enough."

Goren stared at the wooden surface of the bar. "I don't know why she stays."

Logan reached for a handful of peanuts. "Maybe you should ask her."

TBC...