i'm not normally one to complain about how my life is so horrible. the things i write, are things i wish was true. in this world, you only get one life to live. it's not exactly fair when you know you have nothing really to live for.

i'm a ghost in the wind when it comes to talking to everybody. i hold secrets, i guess you could say i'm just like a music box that is always quiet, and way to shy.

he often said he loved to talk to me, that i was the only one he could ever think about.

it seems that we're the only two who knew that kind of a... secret..

it was painful at first to think about him, he treated me so different after the first year i was there. i wanted nothing more than to have him to myself. if i could have anything in the world; it would be him on a silver plater!

but he didn;t seem to notice who i was at all!

when i see that beautiful face of his, it makes my heart tighten with painful memories of how he use to hold me, how he use to kiss me.

it was all far to painful to remember, i just wanted to die as i stood there crying.

it passed two full years, and he actually acknowlaged me for once. pushing me into a locker, i suppose it was something of an acknowlage...

it's pathetic i know. but i just wanted to tackle him to the ground and hug him tightly.

i knew that was an impossible feeling as i stood there against the locker he pushed me into. watching him walk away with the girl he loved the most...

****and now it starts!****

i watched as he walked away with his friends, painful enough to me. i seen a girl, walking by his side. she didn't even go to this school, i noticed by the symbol on her bag.

she went to a rival school, and by all the looks the students at this school was giving her. every student hated the girl, that was currently holding the hand of the football quarterback.

i shook my head walking to class. a boy about the same age as me, seventeen, was sitting in biology. he was pale, and had the most beautiful, breath-taking silver blue eyes i've ever seen in my life. he had brown hair also, and apparently i had to take the seat next to him since everybody else was in a seat. i walked over and noticed him back away from me some.

sneakingly i sniffed my hair which smelled of the cucumber mellon shampoo i always used.

i shook my head trying to consentrate on the teacher's words, but i thought "how can i when he's staring at me" i sighed looking at him from the corner of my eye.

he finally looked away, as the teacher gave us each a paper with lines and questions written on it. i sighed, i didn't expect a quiz the very first day of school.

yet again i began to work on it. he finished the same time i did. which wasn't long after we got our papers.

i glanced over at him, to see he wasn't looking at me. the previous days i had read the first book of twilight. which i did enjoy. just like my friends, who are complete and total book worms said it was.

i sighed i shook my head and muttered "this is reality.. not a fiction story!" i hissed at myself in a soft whisper. the guy beside me must have heard me since he nudged me "are you talking to yourself?" he whispered to me. i felt my heart stop almost. why i had no clue. his body heat was washing over me

i shook my head "and so what if i was.. consentrate on your own work!" i hissed at him. he was taken aback at my words. i saw him shrug out of the corner of my eye as he continued his work. i only had one friend the whole time at school. her name was amber, i didn't quiet understand why she choose me to be her friend. she just did

the foot ball quarterback walked by and looked at me with a smile. i remember, james was an ex. i no longer really held feelings, despite the fact i had wanted him the three years previous. it was his last year at this school. our maskot was the panther and yet our school was nothing like panthers. at my elementary school was wild cats. i sighed following the chattering amber to spanish, a class of which i didn't know i had with the guy from bio.

i growled to myself taking the desk beside him. he smiled to me and nudged me "hi.. i didn't get a chance to tell you.. my name is daniel..." he whispered to me. i sighed and half nodded "trisha..." it wasn't very friendly i bit my bottom lip and turned back to the teacher who was saying something i couldn't even understand for the spanish. but then she called on daniel. and i laughed silently as it sounded like she said danielle. i shook my head and consentrated.