A/N: This is my version of the book of Genesis-- Moulin Rouge style! Please don't read if you think you'll be offended. . . it is based off of the Bible language, which I have absolutely nothing against, but I don't want to hear any complaining. Right? Cheerio, then.

Disclaimer: I'm not Baz. I don't own his stuff.

Dedicated to: Everybody on the category.

The Bible (King Baz translation): Book One


In the beginning Baz created the Red Curtain style of film. And the style was without movies, and Hollywood was filled with bad romantic comedies starring Tom Cruise, for he was still married to Nicole. And then Baz came into funding for his movies, and said "Let there be A Musical (after Strictly Ballroom and Romeo + Juliet)" And Baz saw that his movie needed casting, and divided Ewan from Star Wars, and Nicole from Tom. And Baz saw that their chemistry was good, and called his movie Moulin Rouge. And so it came to pass that it was released in theatres, and although there were many fans who loved it, there was nowhere to go with the film.

And Baz said "Let there be a Moulin Rouge site, so that the fans may gather."

And so Baz made the site, and the fans did gather, and dispersed into the WWW.

And Baz said "Let the fans continue my story," and called Fanfiction.net stupid, and thus created was a category. (After much pleading from Sugar Princess, The Great Kara, and She's a Star) And Baz saw that this was good, and would bring much promotion to the film.

So The Rougettes wrote many good fics, with much sadness and fluff occuring between Satine and Christian, and gathered good reviews for themselves.

And Sugar Princess made the songfics good, so the soundtrack was thus expanded. So Lady Marmalade stayed silent, and Satine and Christian began to sing many songs of Broadway and today's music while staring into each other's eyes or playing in the snow, and Baz saw that this was good.

And The Great Kara set about the modern-day fics, and created Her Masterpiece, otherwise known as Crazy Love, for Satine and Christian could not remain always in the past. She brought them into the world of Studio 54 and said that the story could change and still remain the same, for there was much truth. And Baz saw that this was good.

And She's a Star followed in the path of The Great Kara, and brought happiness to our favorite couple. There was much baking of birthday cakes and walking of puppy dogs, and singing duets in Wal*Mart, but it brought many smiles to the faces of otherwise angsty readers. And Baz saw that this was good, for there was not enough fluff in the movie.

And Baz let them be The Rougettes, and other authors flocked around them, and Baz set them all to write many fics. There was much reviewing and writing in both day and night (especially at one a.m. when cases of insomnia set in), and Bas was pleased with the division between fiction and fanfiction.

And then came new travelers came into the kingdom of Fanfiction.net, and they brought forth abundant kinds of fiction that was not otherwise seen before.

Glitter's Infatuation saw that Satine and Christian had long been divided from Ewan and Nicole, and created Strange Circusmtances From Fizzy Air, and brought happiness to the divorced Nicole, and many troubles to our beloved Ewan. And there was much bashing of Tom and Penelope, and Baz Himself made an appearance, and he was greatly amused.

And Baz said, let Gedia Kacela come, and she will create the worship of Shirtless Argentineans, and write of past and present romances between N.A. and the beautiful women he loved. And she will bring Satine and Christian into high school, and Baz blessed her, saying, Write many fics.

And then came a princess of drama, and she saw that Satine must not always die, and spun tales of the couple's married life together, and their children. And although there was much drama (for she lived to her name) it ended happily, and Baz saw that this was good.
bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and fowl that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of heaven.

Twix saw that Satine and Christian were in need of a son, and Baz saw that she viewed the First Drafts from The Script, and she created Olivier for much adoration among the category, and wrote many other good stories for the happiness of all, and Baz was pleased.

And Baz said, lo, let there be Black Tangled Heart, and she must write many fics with elaborate prose and her favorite songs, and thus came many of the fics into the category. And she must co-write with Glitter's Infatuation, for the two were fellow Diamond Hug Whores.

Then Francesca Wayland's fics were created, bringing much beautiful love to Satine and Christian, and wonderful stories of seeking solace, and thus much loveliness was brought into the Underworld, and Baz was much pleased with the efforts of her work, and said, Let she recieve many reviews.

And Baz said, Let Sarah and Mariclaire come, for they must unite Moulin Rouge and Titanic by brining together the survivors, and they did well, and Baz was greatly pleased. And Sarah wrote many good fics, but not enough to satisfy public taste for her art, and Mariclaire created an archive of peace, lest Fanfiction.net be destroyed.

And rahaliacat came, and although many did not like slash fics, she wrote amazing ones crossing Velvet Goldmine with Moulin Rouge, and although Baz did not intend for that to occur, he was greatly pleased by the author's skill and story, and Ewan was greatly amused by his characters.

And Baz said, Let many more writers come, and so there arrived Hindi Sad Diamonds, and Black Opal, and Brown Eyes, and Scarlett, and Sandpiper, and Casidy, and The Lark, and many more, and Baz said unto them, Write many fics, and continue my story, and replenish it, for you have domain over your craft of writing, and over these characters and your own, and every story in this universe.

And Baz said, Behold, we are all children of the Revolution, and I have given you disclaimers to write all your stories, and it was so.

And Baz saw that we believed in truth, beauty, freedom, and above all things, love, and everything that we had written, and behold, it was good. And so the Moulin Rouge category was thus created.