Intro: Here we are in part five. Let me start by saying I wasn't happy with the quality of my last story and frankly after working on it for so long I expect better of myself and you readers deserve better so you have my apologies. My only excuse can be growing pains as a writer and I hope you all stick with me as I continue to try and evolve and find my groove. On a positive note I like this story much better and it is one I've been looking forward to writing since I started this series. I hope you enjoy it as well.
Warning: This is a f/f story meaning it has women in a loving relationship so if you're not cool with that by all means click that back button in the upper left hand corner of your browser.
Disclaimer: As usual I'd like to state that every character in this story are my own original creations with the notable exception of Hoshi and T'Pol, they belong to whoever owns the Star Trek franchise. No Infringement is implied and I'm receiving no profit whatsoever for this or any other 'Trek fan-fic.
Thanks/Dedication: Special thanks to Wheelie91… (you know why lmao). Last but not least I'd like to thank all of you who've stuck with me despite my *cough* less than dedicated posting history. This is for all of you.
Bonded
By Phatalbert21
9:10am September 23rd 2166
A number of weeks ago Dragus, a planet on the outskirts of the Federation's territory had been attacked with a Zuertrinium bomb. The bomb had burned off a large percentage of the planet's atmosphere resulting in a little over a third of the planet's occupants dying and rendering the planet all but inhabitable. Initial information obtained by Starfleet seemed to implicate the Altarians as the culprit behind the attack but due in large part to several attacks that had been occurring over the past few months the theory held by a large portion of the Starfleet brass was that the Altarians had been framed by the Romulans.
In an attempt to find out who was the responsible for the bombing Starfleet had launched an ongoing full scale investigation, fortune was on their side though; as by using Zuertrinium the culprit had made it much easier to track them down.
Zuertrinium was a fairly complex chemical to create; it was notoriously unstable and required a very rare isotope to manufacture it, the isotope in question was only found in Class C stars thus severely narrowing down the list of places it could have been produced. After compiling a list of known producers Starfleet had diverted a large portion of the fleet into five separate task forces, the task forces had been redeployed to investigate the various sites.
The Enterprise had been drafted to the Bravo Team which was being headed up by Commodore James and his vessel: The U.S.S Einstein. Joining them were: Captain Jorge Nelson of the Apollo; the first vessel on scene at the disaster on Dragus. Captain Carla Robbinson, an old acquaintance of Hunter's and C.O. of the Calypso, and Captain Bryce Shumar of the Essex; Shumar and James were old comrades and it was rumored that James had actually sponsored Shumar's entrance into Starfleet. With three Endeavor class, two Daedalus class, a Challenger class vessel and over 100 combined years of field experience it was quite a formidable force.
Upon their arrival in their designated sector of space about a week earlier Commodore James had deemed that it would be best if the five vessels separated and searched individual systems; not only would they cover more ground faster but one Starfleet vessel looked much less suspicious than five flying in formation. It had been a smart idea but so far it had yet to bear any fruit.
On the bridge of the Enterprise Commander T'Pol sat at the science station conducting a scan of a nearby class three nebula. The starship was currently at all stop, the Chief Engineer Commander La Forge was recalibrating the warp engines, with all the warp travel they had been doing as of late the engines had begun to show signs of 'drag'.
The scan wasn't necessary; the nebula wasn't particularly fascinating even by human standards, however it gave her something to do other than listen to the bridge crew 'blow off steam'.
She had seen a similar reaction to stress from Humans, most notably during the hunt for the Xindi some fourteen years ago, back then she had struggled to understand her crewmate's reactions. Nowadays she realized sometimes a break from procedure was necessary for the crew's wellbeing especially given the events leading up to their being here in the first place and though T'Pol agreed with the idea on the whole, she tended to find the extra noise distracting.
T'Pol was an attractive Vulcan woman who despite her youthful appearance was nearly seventy nine years old; she had several doctorates in a number of scientific fields and a background in the V'Shar, the Vulcan intelligence agency. There were several things that differentiated T'Pol from the average Vulcan, for one thing she had spent most of the last fifteen years working in close proximity to Humans (most Vulcan's avoided working with Human's, finding their emotions wild and their discipline lacking), starting on Earth's first deep space vessel the Enterprise NX-01 and now again onboard its predecessor. Secondly she had taken an alien mate and not just any alien, she had chosen a human; specifically Hoshi Sato the communications and second officer. She and Hoshi had met over a decade ago onboard the NX-01 and what had stared of as an antagonistic relationship had blossomed into respect, friendship, then into mutual attraction and then after many years (and a few failed relationships for them both) love. The turning point had happened over five months ago when T'Pol had become aware of Hoshi's attraction to her and in an effort to protect herself attempted to head off a potential relationship.
She had never expected Hoshi's reaction.
Hoshi, not satisfied with T'Pol's decision took every single one of her reason's dissected them and made the Vulcan realize she was acting out of fear, she had then told T'Pol that she understood what entering into a relationship with a Vulcan meant and she was willing to forgo certain things most human's enjoy in a relationship (such as holding hands, or telling each other how they felt). In return all she had asked was for a chance, just a chance to prove that they could work as a couple. Unable to deny Hoshi she had agreed to try a relationship with the woman, and then suddenly the ante had been upped. A few weeks after their relationship had begun T'Pol had a vision of T'Pol that seemed to point to the possibility of them being soul mates or t'hy'la.
Since then T'Pol had noticed several signs that seemed to point out that the vision was correct including, a sort of need to be near Hoshi she had never experienced before. If Hoshi was away from her for long periods of time she found it increasingly difficult to concentrate and she started suffering from headaches and restlessness. She knew the signs were telling her she needed to bond with Hoshi, however in order to give Hoshi adjusting time for their relationship (which had recently suffered due to a bout of amnesia) T'Pol had delayed the bonding. She knew her window was closing; the symptoms were becoming worse but she was confident she had enough time to do what she needed to do.
Little did she know the decision was about to be taken from her.
11:40 am September 23rd 2166
Hoshi let out a loud sigh and rested her head in her hands. "I don't know what the hell I was thinking doing this." She said angrily to her empty quarters.
The 'this' she was referring to was command training, shortly after the attack on Dragus took place Hoshi had been offered the opportunity to attended Command school by Captain Hunter and after discussing it with T'Pol she had decided to seize the opportunity, not only to challenge herself but to see if Command was where she would like to focus her career. The day after she had submitted her decision she had received a lesson plan from Starfleet, a large series of texts she was to read and a schedule of virtual lectures she was expected to attended; in addition to all that and her regular duties she was now shadowing either the Captain or T'Pol during their rounds throughout her shift for hands on training.
To say it was a daunting undertaking was an understatement, fortunately she had experience with managing a heavy school schedule and working a job, she had done it fairly well when she had been working on both of her Doctorates. And unlike then this time she had her own private tutor in the form of T'Pol whom had selflessly dedicated her evenings to helping her t'hy'la in any way possible including quizzing her, preparing dinner and reminding Hoshi to sleep regularly. With the thought that she didn't have to go it alone to help fortify her waning willpower she took a deep breath before going back to her console. About ten minutes later just when she was starting to hit her grove, her console let out a series of beeps letting her know she had just received a message. Feeling annoyed jammed her finger into one of the buttons on the interface harder than was strictly nesscary, in response the machine gave a shrill beep as if wounded. Hoshi rolled her eyes as a second later her screen was at her personal inbox, she was surprised to see that the message she had recived was from T'Pol. Her annoyance forgotten she opened the message.
Date: 1156 hours, September 23rd 2166
To: Lieutenant Commander Hoshi Sato
From: Commander T'Pol
Priority: Personal
Subject: Unknown
Hoshi, I hope you are both enjoying your day off and finding a productive way to spend your time. I will not be able to join you for lunch today; however I would remind you to make sure you do eat something. If you are agreeable I would like to invite you to a private dinner tonight in the Captain's Mess at 1900 hours, with the request that you wear something formal. Please send me a response at your earliest possible convenience. As always I am thinking of you.
T'Pol
Hoshi smiled as she read the message, intrigued as to why her partner had asked her to a formal dinner. Her birthday had occurred a few months ago, T'Pol's wasn't for another month and a half and to her knowledge there were no Vulcan or Terran holidays that occurred today so she had no idea what her partner was planning for the evening. Feeling excited she hurriedly composed her response.
Date: 1211 hours, September 23rd 2166
To: Commander T'Pol
From: Lieutenant Commander Hoshi Sato
Priority: Personal
Subject: Response
T'Pol I'd love to have dinner with you, 1900 hours is fine, but instead of meeting you there why don't you swing by my quarters at around 1830 so you can escort me. It's not often I get to show you off and I'd love the opportunity to be seen on the arm of the most beautiful woman on the ship. My studying is going fine, it's just all starting to blend together and it's kind of frustrating. Don't worry I'll remember to eat something for lunch. I love you and I can't wait to see you.
Hoshi
Satisfied she sent her response before going back to her work, with the prospect of dinner with T'Pol to look forward to the afternoon seemed to fly by and sooner than she expected it was time to get ready for her dinner date. Moving to the bathroom she undressed, tossed her clothes in the hamper and hoped into the shower. She languished under the hot water for a while before finishing up; as she stepped out she toweled her hair dry and stood at the mirror for a moment.
Hoshi was not a vain person; in fact it would be a safe bet to say that most of the time she was unaware of how attractive she actually was. But she couldn't help but admire the collar length bob she had recently adopted. Normally she wore her hair in a long ponytail; in fact it was a look she had maintained more or less for the last decade however with her recently increased workload her time had been diminished severely and her new hairstyle was much easier to maintain.
The positive feedback she had received hadn't hurt either, Laura Jacobs had said how cute it made her look by framing her face, Senford La Forge had whistled appreciatively and even the Captain had commented that she looked "sharp". Smiling at the memories she decided she would be keeping the look for the foreseeable future. She finished touching up her appearance and once she was satisfied went into the bedroom to finish getting ready. She looked in her closet and mulled over her choice of a dress for tonight, like most people onboard Enterprise Hoshi didn't have many casual clothes they weren't really needed in space where one spent most of one's time on duty and in uniform, nonetheless she did have a few choices and she finally decided on a black backless silk dress and although she looked fantastic she squirmed in the somewhat uncomfortable clothing, given the choice she much preferred dressing for comfort over aesthetics.
After she finished dressing she went into the living area of her quarters and noticed that her date was twenty minutes late, frowning she powered up her console to see if T'Pol had left a message, but other than the message from earlier there was no word from her partner. Sitting back down on the couch she debated with herself for a moment before reaching for her communicator, and flipping it open.
"Sato to T'Pol."
All that followed was silence. Looking down she saw her communicator was functioning and that a channel between her and T'Pol was open.
"Sato to T'Pol, T'Pol please respond."
More silence, she was starting to get nervous.
"T'Pol its Hoshi do you read me?"
After the third attempt yielded no result she snapped the communicator shut and with no hesitation raced to the turbo lift; something was definitely wrong. One off the first things they taught you in training was to keep your communicator with you at all times, it was your lifeline to the rest of your crewmates and the ship. And for someone as diligent as T'Pol to not answer her communicator after three hails meant something had to be going down.
The turbo lift let her out on deck three and she sprinted to T'Pol's quarters (a feat made all the more impressive by the fact that she was wearing high heels) and skidded to a halt in front of the door a few moments later. Normally she'd ring the chime and wait for a response but her anxiety had been increasing with every step bringing her here and was now threatening to turn into a full panic, so instead she used the entrance code and walked right in. As she stepped in she noticed nothing seemed amiss except she didn't see T'Pol anywhere.
she called out to the quarters at large. "T'Pol? Are you okay?"
Receiving no answer she began to walk around and although T'Pol's quarters were larger than her own it didn't take long before she found who she was looking for. T'Pol was passed out on the floor between her bathroom and bedroom, acting quickly Hoshi knelt down and tried to awaken her but to no avail. Gently touching her t'hy'la's head she felt what she thought was a fever (she wasn't sure, as a Vulcan body temperature was several degrees higher than Terran's) in addition her face was flushed but her lips were pale, feeling infinitely glad she had brought her communicator with her she flipped it open.
"Sato to sickbay, medical emergency in Commander T'Pol's quarters." The pitch of her voice had risen considerably but she didn't care.
The voice of Enterprise's Chief Medical Officer Dr. Atriums Sveck came back clear and strong. "Understood Commander, I'm on my way."
While she was waiting she held T'Pol's head in her lap. "Come on T'Pol you'd better be okay. You just can't just ask me out and then stand me up, it's gonna take more than this for you to get out of our date." She was not sure why she was talking out loud as the intended recipient was unconscious, but she couldn't seem to help it.
A few minutes later the door to the quarters slid open to admit Dr. Sveck and two nurses. "Over here!" she yelled.
Sveck ran over and immediately began taking scans and reporting to the nurses as he did so. "Oh dear, her dopamine and serotonin levels are fluctuating. Nurse I need twenty cc's of Trinorprovilne." One of the nurses loaded up and slapped a hypospray into the doctor's hand and as he put it to T'Pol's neck a slight hiss signaled that he had injected her. "That should help her brain chemistry but we need to get her to sickbay, nurses please load her up."
The two nurses laid down an anti-gravity stretcher and lifted T'Pol onto it. Meanwhile Sveck pulled Hoshi aside. He stared at her intently. "What happened Commander?" Hoshi took a deep breath and recounted what had happened up until he arrived, as she finished he shook his head.
"It's a good thing you found her when you did Commander, Vulcan neurochemistry is extremely sensitive if she had been there much longer she could have suffered possible brain damage."
Hoshi felt the air go out of her lungs and forced herself to breathe. "Brain damage? B-but you got to her in time right? I mean isn't she going to be okay?"
Sveck fiddled with his scanner a moment before he answered. "I can't say for sure and I don't want to give you a false diagnosis, I'll know more once I run some tests on her."
More to do with because she knew that was all she was going to get at the time rather than being happy with what the doctor had said, Hoshi nodded and the medical crew floated T'Pol out of the quarters leaving her alone.
She rubbed the bridge of her nose and took a deep breath, the night had started so promising but now T'Pol was unconscious in sickbay, with her brain chemistry out of whack, and Hoshi was half out of her mind with worry. Taking another deep breath in a somewhat futile attempt to calm herself down she headed back to her quarters and after a quick shower changed back into her uniform and then headed down to sickbay.
On the turbo lift ride down to deck five it occurred to Hoshi that over the past few months she and T'Pol had spent an inordinate amount of time in sickbay; well actually she had spent an inordinate amount of time in sickbay, T'Pol had spent most of her time waiting for Hoshi to recover from various injuries. She imagined to herself that this must be what T'Pol felt every time she was in sickbay.
She didn't like it one bit.
The large clear double doors of sickbay slid back and Hoshi was greeted to the shocking sight of a very much conscious T'Pol with a nurse in a stranglehold glaring down the rest of the medical staff. "I said stay away from me!"
Hoshi couldn't believe what she was seeing. "T'Pol what are you doing?"
T'Pol's head snapped around at the new voice, which caused a momentary distraction in which the nurse T'Pol was holding seized the opportunity and broke the Vulcan's grip, the second that the nurse was clear one of the other nurses tackled the Vulcan and managed to hold her down long enough for Sveck to empty a hypospray into her neck. In moments whatever was in the hyposray took effect and T'Pol stopped struggling. As Sveck stood and straightened his white coat, the nurses lifted T'Pol up onto a bed. "Ah Commander, that was impeccable timing." He said in a matter of fact tone.
Hoshi was dizzy trying to process what she had just seen. "Wh-what happened?" she asked somewhat lamely.
Sveck sighed. "I wish I knew, we were in the middle of running scans when she woke up, grabbed the nurse attending her and demanded to know why she was here and that we were not to come closer to her or call security or she'd harm the nurse." He shook his head for a moment before continuing. "I would imagine that behavior is a side effect of whatever's afflicting her."
"Do you know what that is?"
"Not yet, I haven't finished my scans and tests."
Hoshi glanced at her partner's slumbering form. "If you don't mind I'd like to stay doctor, just in case she wakes up again."
Sveck looked at her momentarily about to point out that with the amount of sedative in T'Pol's bloodstream that was next to impossible but upon seeing the worry on the young woman's face he kindly pointed to a bed close enough to T'Pol's that she'd be able to see but far enough that she'd be out of the way while he worked.
"Why don't you have a seat over there?" Hoshi hopped onto the bed and crossed her legs while she watched Sveck run his scans, take samples and generally putter around sickbay for the next few hours (The test results wouldn't be ready for at least twelve hours). It was well past midnight when Sveck finally kicked her out, saying he would call if either T'Pol woke or her condition changed. Neither seemed likely to happen, T'Pol hadn't so much as twitched in the last few hours and her vitals remained stable.
Despite knowing she needed to get some sleep Hoshi found that the knot of worry that had taken up residence in her gut was preventing her from finding any rest. So she let her mind wander as she sat on the couch in her quarters.
I don't know how T'Pol did this when I was in that shuttle crash, I was out for two weeks she's only been gone a few hours and I swear I'm about to lose it. She chuckled to herself bitterly. I guess…I'm just not as strong as she is.
She sniffled.
Dr. Sveck said she could suffer brain damage, Oh God I hope not. I don't know what I'd do, I know if- when it was me she stood beside me. But I don't know if I can do it for her…if I'm strong enough, what kind of person does that make me?
Her eyes began to sting and she blinked furiously.
I can't do this, she needs me I have to be there for her. But the words seemed to ring hollowly in her head. Oh God, T'Pol please be okay. She knew it was selfish but she couldn't help it and that realization caused the fear, frustration and uncertainty she had been feeling to pour out as she began to cry. ***
5:00 pm September 4th 2166
The shift the next day had been hell, Hoshi had fallen asleep shortly after her breakdown however that had been close to three in the morning so she had only managed to net a few troubled hours of sleep before her alarm had signaled that it was time for her to get up for her impending shift. The whole time spent on the bridge she had alternated between a morose feeling of despair so deep she wanted to just stay in bed for a week and a sharp cranky anger that would have scared a full grown Klingon warrior. By the time the Beta shift showed up to relieve their counterparts the word had spread around the ship that she was to be given a wide berth, which had just served to annoy her further. She stepped out the turbo lift on deck three fully intending to spend the remainder of the evening sleeping when her communicator chirped.
Her voice came out ragged as she answered it. "Sato here."
"Commander would you mind stopping by sickbay, Commander T'Pol regained consciousness and indicated she would like you present while I discuss the results of my scans."
Life suddenly surged back into her. "I'm on my way."
A few minutes later she entered sickbay to find T'Pol was alert and she was greeted with a small nod. "Hoshi, how are you?"
She said it so normally as if it was an everyday occurance for Hoshi to visit her in sickbay, she seemed back to her normal self.
A smile of relief broke across Hoshi's face while she had to simultaneously fight down the urge to start crying. "Hey, that's my line."
"Under the circumstances I am well."
Before Hoshi could ask for clarification Dr. Sveck appeared from his office with a rather grim look on his face. "Ah Hoshi, it's good to see you, now that you are here we can begin."
Hoshi felt a thrill of fear shoot through her at the doctor's tone.
Sveck punched a few buttons on a console and brought up various images on the view screen on the far wall. "I've run every test and scan I can think of but nothing I've been able to find in the Federation database covers what is wrong with you Commander, the closest thing I saw was the Tarkashian Flu but you don't have the purple sore's or the swollen tongue so I'm at a complete loss." His tone was frustrated; it made sense Doctor's were like scientists and liked to know what was going on around them and often when they came across things that didn't conform to their knowledge they were upset.
He took a deep breath and continued. "What I do know is that your brain chemistry is in a state of flux and there is some unknown hormone is in your blood stream in high levels, it seems to be one of the contributing factors to what's happening to you but I haven't found anything to help eradicate or suppress it. At the moment I am concerned about the possibility of an epidemic so I'd like to run some tests on you Hoshi to see if this is contagious."
Before Hoshi could answer T'Pol began speaking. "That won't be necessary Doctor, I can tell you what's afflicting me but I need to tell you in confidence." There was vulnerability in her voice Hoshi wasn't used to hearing and it made her already frazzled nerves start going haywire.
He nodded quickly. "Of course."
T'Pol hesitated for nearly a whole minute and just as Hoshi was about to start pulling out her hair, her partner started speaking. "The illness that I am suffering from is a...biological urge to take a mate. It is called the Pon Farr."
She paused and Sveck could have sworn she seemed…embarrassed.
"The reason you were unable to find anything about it in the Federation medical database is that it is a rather secretive and shameful ordeal for Vulcans to endure. The disease has three stages, a hormone called yamareen is released into the blood causing the first stage, and the symptoms are nausea, headaches and cramps. The second stage symptoms are increased headaches, fever and a harder time controlling ones emotions. The third and final stage is called the plak'tow or blood fever; in this stage a Vulcan is rendered completely incapacitated, all control and discipline are gone and the urge to mate is uncontrollable and all consuming."
"What happens if a mate is not taken after stage three?" asked Sveck who looked both concerned and fascinated.
"I would die." T'Pol said simply.
As those words were uttered Hoshi had a hard time catching her breath. "What stage are you at?" she asked raggedly
T'Pol didn't seem to want to look Hoshi in the face and replied quietly. "I am in the final parts of stage two."
Despite the situation Hoshi felt her temper begin to rise; T'Pol was keeping things from her...again. "How long has this been going on?"
"I began exhibiting symptoms a number of months ago, thus far I have been able to control my condition with intense meditation however it appears to have progressed beyond my ability to regulate it." T'Pol replied still not looking at Hoshi.
She wanted to know more. "What triggers it?"
"Excuse me," interrupted Sveck "but I was under the impression that you two were already mates, so I don't understand why you are afflicted with this disease."
"We are not. At least according to Vulcan standards," She amended seeing the hurt expression that crossed Hoshi's face. "In order for us to be mates I would be required to initiate a mind meld with Hoshi that would create a telepathic mating bond between us. And to answer your question Hoshi, it is a process that happens every seven years."
Hoshi briefly wondered if it was possible to die of information overload. "What's a telepathic mating bond?"
"It is the way we; that is to say Vulcans choose our mates, when completed it links the two participants' minds together permanently."
Hoshi had gone from angry to curious. "You mean you'd be able to read your mate's mind all the time?"
T'Pol was quick to respond. "Not necessarily, the bond's strength are determined by a number of factors including the connection between the participants as well as the distance between them, the bond becomes stronger the closer the bond mates are and generally its strength increases over time."
Hoshi's head was spinning so she sat down and took a deep breath before affixing a determined look on her face. "Okay, what do I have to do to prepare for the mind meld?"
"T'Pol's eyebrow rose "You intend to do this Hoshi?"
Given the situation, her earlier fears of coping with a brain damaged T'Pol seemed not only childish but selfish. It was like an explosion had occurred inside her, wiping away all her fears and doubts and replacing them with a molten courage and ferocious determination.
"Of course I do! There is no way in hell I'm letting you die while I can do something about it."
Perhaps it was due to the late stages of her Pon Farr but T'Pol felt warmth and a rush of pride and love for this woman she had chosen. "Thank you for your offer but during the final stages of Pon Farr I will lose control of my facilities and I will not be able to control my strength, I could easily hurt you or worse. That is an unacceptable risk to me, so your participation is not necessary."
Then speaking to Sveck she said. "Doctor you will need to relieve me of duty and confine me to quarters until my illness resolves itself; I'd rather the rest of the ship not see me in such a state. I'll trust you to be discreet."
Sveck did not like it but he didn't really have a choice so he nodded his consent.
Hoshi looked at him like he had sprouted an extra head. "Don't tell me you're going to let her do this?"
Sveck let out a resigned sigh. "Hoshi you know I don't have a choice..."
She cut him off. "The hell you don't! Of course you have a choice, you're a doctor you're supposed to help heal your patients not help them die!"
Sveck rubbed the bridge of his nose before he responded. "Hoshi, T'Pol has the right to refuse treatment for an illness if that is her choice, I have no choice but to respect it; forcing a cure on her would go against my Hippocratic oath to do no harm."
For a moment Hoshi looked like she'd hit Sveck then her shoulders slumped and her face crumpled. When she next spoke her voice was in a low harsh whisper. "Really? Tell me Doctor what could be more harmful than having her dead?"
Sveck had no response.
She snorted coldly. "That's what I thought."
T'Pol tried to intervene. "Hoshi this isn't Dr. Sveck's faul-
Hoshi whirled around, lightning seemed to spark from her normally warm brown eyes. "And you, you said you've been sick for months; that means you knew about this back when we were on shore leave didn't you?"
"Hoshi-
"DIDN'T YOU?" Hoshi yelled interrupting her again.
T'Pol hung her head. "Yes."
She glared at T'Pol for a moment before she turned and stalked out of sickbay without another word.
The silence she left behind was nearly deafning and seemed to echo back her anger, after a few moments Sveck sighed. "Are you sure you won't reconsider Commander?"
Her response was firm. "I will not, I won't endanger Hoshi and possibly cause her harm."
"What about the emotional harm you're causing her now?"
"Hoshi is a strong person, she will endure." said T'Pol shortly who really didn't want to hear this.
"It has been my experience as a doctor that it is often easier to heal physical wounds than emotional ones."
"My mind is made up doctor. I estimate that it will be nearly a week before my condition resolves itself, please make sure I am not disturbed before then." Sveck nodded and T'Pol got up and left sickbay leaving the doctor feeling old and very tired.
Meanwhile Hoshi sat on the couch in her quarters with a glass of straight rum in one hand and her other wrapped around her body in a thus far futile effort to ward off the chill that seemed to permeate her being. Currently she felt depressed, angry, betrayed and a number of other emotions, but she was working fast on feeling nothing but a gentle numbness, hence the rum.
The chime to the door rang and to her it seemed unusually loud. "Go away."
There was a momentary silence then the chime rang again, and the volume seeming to increase. "I said go away damn it!" she roared.
A few moments passed and Hoshi was certain whoever it was had got the message, but then the chime rang again. She slammed her glass on the table so hard she caused her glass to crack up the side and she got up, positively enraged and ready to punch whoever it was in the face. She battered the control to open the door which slid back to reveal T'Pol. For a moment she stared at the Vulcan her mouth opening and closing several times with no sound coming out, before a choked sob ripped itself from her throat and she threw herself into T'Pol's strong embrace.
Though quite surprised by Hoshi's tackle T'Pol somehow managed to maintain her balance, she didn't say anything; she just held onto Hoshi and led her back into her quarters sitting the slightly hysterical woman on her couch.
It took several minutes before Hoshi was able to calm down enough to speak coherently "You're hot." she noted in a raw voice as she stroked the Vulcan's face.
T'Pol was willing to let her partner dictate how this conversation went, so more in order to get things going she responded. "It is part of the condition, I have a fever."
Hoshi laughed but there was no humor in her voice "You say it so easily, like you have a cold or something." Then abruptly her expression shifted to anger. "Damn you T'Pol, how could you do this to me?"
T'Pol looked into Hoshi eyes which were puffy and red but reflected such a deep and profound pain her own heart ached. "I'm sorry Hoshi, but I cannot allow you to go through the bonding process this late in my Pon Farr, it is too dangerous."
Her partner's voice was desperate and ragged as she practically pleaded "Don't I have any say in this?"
That was almost enough to sway her...almost "You do, however as I stated before I will lose my ability to control myself and I would never be able to forgive myself if I were to hurt you or...force you to do something you didn't wish to. It has been known to happen with other Vulcans; one may become overly excited and injure the other, and Humans are a more fragile species… I cannot take that risk."
Hoshi refused to be moved as she spoke defiantly. "What if I said I don't care and that your life is more important than any hypothetical injury you could inflict on me?"
T'Pol's expression softened, a side effect of her condition was allowing her emotions to be expressed more freely than normal. "Then I'd say you love me as much as I love you."
Hearing T'Pol say that did it and the tears started flowing fast and thick, T'Pol almost never said "I love you" not because she didn't feel that way but because her emotional control never allowed her to express herself that way.
She clung desperately to T'Pol needing to reassure herself that she was still with her. "I'm so scared for you."
They were silent for few minutes as Hoshi rubbed her partner's back in gentle circles. "You said you were in the final part of stage two, how come you never said anything before now?"
T'Pol eyes closed for a moment. "As I said this is a shameful event for a Vulcan; and part of me believed I could conquer this...disease by myself. That was foolish of me I now realize, only a few Vulcan's have managed to conquer the Pon Farr without succumbing to its urges and those that have are masters of the Kolinahr"
Hoshi recognized the name as an order of Vulcan's who through a lifetime of meditation and spiritual awareness had managed to purge themselves of emotions completely much as the revered Surak was said to have done thousands of years ago.
"There's more to it than that isn't there?" Hoshi encouraged her gently; feeling as if she wasn't getting the whole story.
"At a point about three months ago I was going to tell you about my...ailment but-"
Hoshi closed her eyes realizing what T'Pol was about to say. "I lost my memory."
"Yes, and even though we resumed our relationship I believed that it was best to save such a talk until we had both become used to interacting with each other again. Originally I had planned to discuss that tonight at our dinner as well as the prospect of us cohabitating. However I underestimated my timeline and the window in which we could have safely mated has closed. Forgive me Hoshi but I have failed you as your partner and t'hy'la."
Hoshi was shocked to see tears streaming down T'Pol's face; she had never seen T'Pol cry before and the sight made her own tears well up again but her voice remained strong.
"T'Pol, you could never fail me. I love you and we'll find a way to beat this thing. Just wait, when we put our minds together there isn't anything we can't do."
She lay on T'Pol's lap and placed her head over T'Pol's heart and felt the soothing sound of it beating steady and strong beneath her. They remained like that for the rest of the evening, embraced together, their universe beginning and ending in each other's arms. And although neither mentioned it they both knew that this might be the last time they could spend a night holding each other.
Eventually the events of the day caught up with Hoshi and she fell asleep, noticing the gentle rise and fall of her partner's chest T'Pol stood and with the utmost tenderness carried Hoshi into her bedroom and laid her down on the bed. With that accomplished she undid Hoshi's boots and removed her uniform's tunic, she removed the pips and placed them on the night stand and folded the tunic placing it on the dresser. Silently she padded back across the room and observed her Hoshi's slumbering face; she looked so young and untroubled in her sleep and the sight made her smile slightly as she preserved that image in her memory.
Bending over she kissed Hoshi's lips lightly. "I love you." and even though she knew the intended recipient was asleep making such an act illogical, for once in her life she didn't care.***
9:00 am September 12th 2166
Hoshi hadn't been having an easy time; using all of her saved up leave she'd barricaded herself in her quarters for a whole week doing nothing but research in every conceivable database for any mention of the Pon Farr. Unfortunately it seemed that very few doctors in the Federation had treated the Pon Farr and those that had were tightlipped about it(which seemed to be becoming par for the course where the Pon Farr was concerned), all of them providing less information than what little T'Pol had revealed in sickbay. She knew she was running out of time and there were only days or possibly hours left before T'Pol passed away; what she needed was a breakthrough…now. And then it came to her an idea so obvious she was ashamed she hadn't thought of it sooner.
According to T'Pol the Pon Farr occurred every seven years and seven years ago T'Pol had been on the NX-01 Enterprise which meant that she most likely been treated by Phlox. Come to think about it T'Pol had served on the NX-01 from its launch in 2151 to its decommission in 2161 and if she was experiencing Pon Farr now in 2166 counting backwards meant…that in 2159 she had been affected with the condition and again in 2152. If that was the case then Phlox had most likely been aware of her partner's condition twice making him the closest thing to an expert on it.
Filled with a renewed sense of hope she pulled up the Starfleet registry and queued up a search for Doctor Phlox. A few minutes later her inquery had borne fruit; it seemed that Phlox was still serving on the York. Using her clearance she routed a transmission through the main communication array to the York. A minute later she was staring at the familiar configuration of an NX class bridge.
A tall sandy haired woman rose out the center seat. "I am Captain Leia Anderson, commanding officer of the U.S.S York, who may I ask am I speaking to?"
Hoshi was suddenly keenly aware of her rumpled appearance and that she wasn't in uniform. "Uhm, I'm Lieutenant Commander Hoshi Sato of the U.S.S Enterprise. I need to talk to Dr. Phlox immediately is he available?"
Captain Anderson took in Hoshi's appearance for a moment. "What is this concerning Commander?"
"There is a medical emergency onboard Enterprise and a crewmember's life is in danger, and I believe Dr. Phlox may be able to help save her life."
"Does your Captain know about this transmission?"
"No, you can report it to him if that's what you need to do but I have to talk to Phlox."
Anderson stared at Hoshi for another moment before looking off to her left. "Lieutenant, connect Commander Sato's transmission to sickbay and alert Dr. Phlox that he has an incoming call."
Hoshi's screen went blank for a moment before the cheery face of the Denobulan doctor appeared on her screen.
"Ens-Commander Sato, it's good to hear from you, what can I do for you hmm?"
Despite the situation Hoshi felt herself calm down a fraction, Phlox always had the ability to put his patients at ease with his calm and affiable manner.
Hoshi explained the situation to Phlox, she briefly considered trying to lie about T'Pol's decision to refuse treatment but almost immediately discarded the notion; she was a horrible liar and anything she came up with she was sure Phlox would see through. When she had finished Phlox looked thoughtful. "You understand I can't tell you anything that would break patient-doctor confidenti-"
She cut across him. "I get that Doctor, but anything you could tell me could help save her… I don't know if I can go on without her." The last part slipped out and her eyes widdend as she looked at Phlox. But the Doctor was smiling in understanding.
"How long have you two been together?"
"Five months."
Phlox saw the love and determenation in Hoshi's eyes. "Hmm…it could be argued that Commander T'Pol's condition has impaired her judgment…"
Hoshi would've kissed Phlox if he were present.
"Very well Commander I'll help you, here is what I know about the Pon Farr…"
Fifteen minutes later Hoshi shut down her console, hope blooming in her chest; with Phlox's information she now knew that she had only hours to act unless T'Pol were to perish. She wasn't going to allow that to happen even if what she was planning caused T'Pol to hate her for the rest of her life.
After a quick shower she got dressed and made her way to the turbolift. A few minutes later she stood outside T'Pol's quarters; hesitating for a moment, she took a breath, keyed in the entry code and stepped in.
As usual T'Pol's quarters were hotter than hers and the artificial gravity was higher mimicking the planet Vulcan's natural environment, cautiously she stepped in and sealed the door behind her.
Looking around she saw T'Pol perched on her meditation mat, she looked in bad shape her breathing was fast and shallow, her features were pale and drawn and her hair was matted with sweat.
Carefully Hoshi took a step closer. "T'Pol?"
T'Pol's hazel eye snapped open, they were bloodshot and wild. The warmth and logic she was used to seeing there had all but dissapered.
"Tu ma es to'tsu na' ertau?" the anger and rage was barely contained in her voice. She uncoiled herself from the floor stood glaring at Hoshi for a moment before she yelled "Trasha i'!"
It seemed that in her current condition T'Pol had reverted to speaking Vulcan; a similar experience had occurred during their first year on the NX-01 when she and an away team had been stranded on a planet with a species of psychotropic fungus. Fortunately she was fluent in Vulcan and understood that her partner had asked why has she interrupted her and had then shouted at her to leave.
Hoshi took a deep breath in an attempt to slow her heart rate." I'm sorry sweetheart but I can't leave you like this. T'Pol I can tell you burn with desire, I know you ache with need, let me help you."
She wasn't sure T'Pol understood her meaning and she was about to try again in Vulcan but her partner began to circle her much like a predator about to strike. Thanks to Phlox she knew that this was a critical moment, T'Pol was sizing her up and it would be best if she didn't make any sudden movements lest she provoke her partner into attacking her. Hoshi was prepared to defend herself but she prayed that unfortunate event didn't occur.
Finally T'Pol came to a stop a mere arm reach in front of her, their eyes locked and Hoshi could see the lust just barely restrained in those hazel eyes. T'Pol tilted her head and inhaled deeply and Hoshi realized with a thrill T'Pol was smelling her.
The Vulcan stared at Hoshi for a full minute, chest heaving before she spoke in a ragged hoarse voice."Shal sut k' aitlu. Shal seo'a tu Hoshi, tu mu."
It took her a moment to do the mental translation but she was pretty sure T'Pol had said something to the effect of: she did burn with desire and she was claiming Hoshi as hers.
Still breathing heavy T'Pol crossed the room, never taking her eyes off Hoshi she sniffed her skin inhaling Hoshi's scent again. The scent of Hoshi's body was driving T'Pol mad with lust; the intoxicating scent of a ready and willing woman was unbearable.
Unable to control herself anymore she crushed Hoshi's body to hers in a passionate embrace and kissed her roughly. A small moan of desire escaped Hoshi's mouth during the kiss that only spurned T'Pol on; breaking the kiss she pushed Hoshi onto the bed with a growl.
Hoshi was starting to breathe hard as well T'Pol's hot skin on hers and her possessiveness was a huge contrast to the gentle love making they normally experinced, and despite the situation it was still a bit of a turn on.
What happened next could only be described as animalistic. Hoshi lost count of how many times T'Pol had made her climax and in return she was pretty sure (if the noises her partner were making were any indication) that she had gave as well as she got. It was hot, sweaty and just what they both needed.
Needless to say both women fell asleep soon after from the physical exertion.
Several hours later Hoshi was awakened to the sensation of T'Pol lightly stroking her hair "Mmm that feels good."
T'Pol smiled then not her usual partial smile but a full body smile and Hoshi thought she'd never seen a more beautiful sight.
"How are you feeling Hoshi?"
She chuckled "I should be asking you that, I feel fine how about you?"
"I am out of immediate danger and I will be regaining control of my emotions soon. However I wish to tell you thank you for what you did for me. I understand you didn't have to but..."
Hoshi interrupted her "Of course I had to; I love you too much to just let you go without a fight."
T'Pol smiled again "I love you too; I know I can't say it as much as I'd like but I want you to know how I feel."
"I know you say it when you can, believe me I don't hold it against you it makes it more special when you do.''
Hoshi put her hand against T'Pol's forehead and felt that she still had a bit of a fever although her temperature had gone down dramatically. "Good your temperature is going down, I think the fever is broken," she stretched and then groaned when her muscles protested. "Well I'm kind of stiff, do you mind if I take a shower?"
When T'Pol indicated she didn't Hoshi hobbled off to the shower leaving the Vulcan alone with her thoughts. What Hoshi had tried was exceptionally dangerous and there had been a moment when T'Pol's reaction to Hoshi's intrusion had been to attack her, it had been a close call but somehow she had enough sense about her to resist the urge.
She knew one thing for sure, she would never let her Pon Farr go untreated for so long ever again. Hoshi had proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that regardless of the situation she had the right to know and help her partner…even if was against T'Pol's first instincts; but that was at the back of her mind.
Her most pressing concern was the upcoming mind meld with Hoshi; though the enough of the yamareen in T'Pol's blood had been neutralized to calm her maddening lust there was still enough remaining to kill her if she didn't complete the final stage of the Pon Farr and bond with Hoshi. The problem was she had only preformed a handful of mind melds in her life and only one of those had been a complete joining. She would have to tread carefully lest she cause permanent mental damage to herself and Hoshi.
She was interrupted from her thoughts by Hoshi's return from the shower, her skin was still pink from the hot water, she was clad in a flimsy silk robe and she was drying her hair. "That feels better, nothing like a nice shower to start your day on the right foot. Would you like something to eat sweetheart?"
T'Pol shook her head.
Hoshi smiled deviously. "All that sex didn't work up an appetite for you?"
"My body does not require sustenance as often as yours."
Hoshi shrugged. "If you say so, personally I'm starving. Is it alright if I eat before we continue?"
"Yes, I am out of immediate danger for the time being."
Walking over to the protein synthesizer she punched in an order for one helping of eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast before taking a seat at the small table and proceeded to demolishing her food. "These things can't quite get the taste down, I don't care how advance they get I don't think they'll ever replace normal food. Plus they can only do the most basic foods ask them for a bowl of soba and you get nothing." She said between bites
Realizing her companion was 'making small talk' T'Pol addressed what could possibly be a looming problem. "Hoshi are you positive you wish to proceed with the final stage of the Pon Farr? It could pose a number of problems to both of us."
Hoshi abandoned the remainder of her breakfast, her full attention on T'Pol "What kind of problems?"
"Well anytime that a mind meld occurs there is the danger of identity loss, this is especially true with bonding melds. Then there is the fact that…I am not…expiernced in utilizing mind melds, you remember how much trouble I had when I first learned how to perform the technique. If I make even the slightest mistake I could end up damaging either one or both of our minds irreversibly."
"I see, but if we don't do this, you'll still die right?"
T'Pol nodded.
Hoshi smiled. "Well that makes the choice easy doesn't it? I'm in."
She heard the determination and conviction in her partner's voice but perhaps due to her current emotional freedom she wasn't sure if Hoshi still fully understood. She opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Hoshi.
"I get it sweetheart, I really do; if this works our minds will be linked together and you get to live. If it doesn't you'll still die, that second outcome is unacceptable to me no matter what the risk. Even if it's only a one-in-a-million shot I'm going to take it if it means there is a chance that you don't die. I want…need to do this T'Pol." There were tears in her eyes, but they were angry defiant tears as if challenging the Vulcan to refute anything that she said.
"I understand." Not one for long winded speeches, those two words conveyed her meaning (both said and unsaid) to her partner perfectly.
With that out of the way Hoshi made her way over to the meditation mat where T'Pol was sitting and lowered herself gracefully into a position that mirrored the Vulcan's. "I'm ready."
T'Pol's voice was grave. "This mind-meld will be different from the one you experienced before, in that instance I was merely guiding you to help you recall details in your memory. However this time our minds will be joining completely, you will see all of my thoughts, and I will see all of yours. There will be no privacy and once we begin we cannot stop until the bond is complete."
Hoshi was very solemn as well. "I understand."
"Close your eyes and breathe slowly and deeply."
Hoshi followed T'Pol's instructions, trusting her completely.
T'Pol placed her right hand on the left side of Hoshi's face and carefully lined up the points of Hoshi's face to her thumb, first and middle fingers once she was satisfied she was properly aligned she repeated the process with her left hand and began to chant softly.
Hoshi felt a small shock when T'Pol touched her points and began to lose herself in the hypnotic rhythm of the chant.
Finally sensing that a strong connection had been made, T'Pol invoked the last part of the chant. "My mind to your mind, my thoughts to your thoughts. Our thoughts are becoming one, we are becoming one."
The last thing she heard was Hoshi gasp.
Slowly she settled into the astral plane of her mind, she could still feel her physical body breathing slowly on the mat, but she felt detached from that reality at the moment it was as if her body was a television program running on a vid screen in the background. She searched for a moment before she 'saw' a faint light in the distance, almost instinctively she knew that to be her destination and so she projected her consciousness outward towards the point of light.
Gradually the point grew in size and brightness until it was consuming her entire field of vision and was painful to stare at, as she came upon the edge of the light, she could see it was a bubble shape construct and must be representative of Hoshi's consciousness. She stopped just outside the field and hesitated, worried about possibly messing up the joining.
It was then when a figure began to slowly rise from the bubble and offered her a hand. The astral Hoshi smiled and 'spoke' in an ethereal voice. "You don't have to do this alone sweetheart. I'll be with you the whole time, let's do it together okay?"
T'Pol took the hand and felt a pleasurable surge of energy travel through her body, she glanced at Hoshi.
Her partner was still smiling. "I know I felt it too."
With renewed confidence they slowly sank down into Hoshi's consciousness. The feeling was indescribable, it was love and warmth and everything right with the Universe. Unintentionally T'Pol let out a groan of pleasure. "This is amazing."
Hoshi looked flush and her chest was heaving (which was curious as her astral face had no blood in it and her astral body needed no air). "I know, it's like I felt every pleasurable feeling I've ever had in my life at once and had them all multiplied by a thousand. Was that it are we bonded?"
"No, that was just the joining; the bond will be complete once we know each other."
"What do you mean 'know each other'; I think it's safe to say we know each other better than anyone."
"Not better than we know ourselves. Show me Hoshi, show me everything about you."
Catching on, Hoshi took ahold of T'Pol's hand and took her back to her earliest memories as they began to relive Hoshi's life together.
They began at her childhood where despite having a family that loved and adored her she still felt alone and isolated from everyone around her. They saw the time when she was seven and being bullied by a large boy, how her older brother stepped in and defended her, bloodying the boy's nose and threatening to do it again if he ever bothered his sister again.
They saw a nine year old Hoshi holding her younger sister's hand as she started her first day in Kindergarten, smiling and reassuring her that her big sister was just down the hall if she needed her.
Jumping to the age of twelve they saw when she began her formal training in Aikido. At the age of fourteen her beloved grandfather Michio died and the depression and sorrow she felt from that stayed with her for almost a year afterwards.
Fifteen brought about her first date with Ryoto, a boy she had been pining after for nearly a year. Sixteen brought her first heartache when he left her for a more popular girl.
They saw Hoshi try to step out of the all-encompassing shadow of her older brother and struggle to find attention from a family concerned with the antics and going's on of her younger sister.
They felt the pride when Hoshi was awarded her black belt in aikido at the age of twenty and her doctorate only three years later.
They saw her basic training in Starfleet and six months later when Captain Archer had come to visit her in South America asking her to be his communications officer.
They felt her fear the first time she stepped onto the bridge of the Enterprise. They felt the anger and determination to prove her worth to the snobby and disdainful first office, and gradually over time they saw those emotions morph from disdain to grudging respect to genuine friendship and finally love. This was more than viewing memories together; every sensation, every thought and emotion were conveyed to T'Pol as if she were the one experiencing it.
The memories began to come faster and faster as they approached the present day, but there were blank spots; patches of nothingness no doubt due to the missing memories Hoshi hadn't recovered from her amnesia.
The witnessed a practical joke Hoshi and Travis had played on T'Pol which had involved switching the circuits around on her board, she had always suspected it had been those two but she was never able to prove it.
They relived Hoshi's longing to be with T'Pol and her quiet acceptance she would never have the chance. The memories were coming faster still and although there were larger patches of blackness faces and events continued to shine through.
Captain Hunter shaking her hand and placing a pip on her uniform, lunch with Laura, A joke with Senford, her first kiss with T'Pol and their first night spent together. Finally they came to a time yesterday when Hoshi had made her preparations to help her partner.
Slowly they resettled back in the glowing bubble of Hoshi's mind; both were speechless in the immediate aftermath of what they had shared. For Hoshi she had never been so exposed or vulnerable in all her life, T'Pol knew all of her secrets; hell she had lived her entire life alongside her. She waited all her defenses down but all she felt from T'Pol was warmth and love, her partner had accepted her completely. The emotions she felt at that moment were so strong her physical body began to cry.
T'Pol took Hoshi's astral face in her hands and kissed her softly, sending all her love through the touch. She knew what her partner was feeling with a certainty that went beyond instinct and knew how to get through to her at that moment.
"Thank you sweetheart, I needed that." She smiled wetly and sighed. "I guess it's my turn to take the tour huh?"
T'Pol offered her hand and echoed the words Hoshi had said to her earlier. "I'll be with you the whole way."
Grasping the offered hand Hoshi felt her consciousness rise out of her mind and be pulled along by T'Pol until they landed in what she assumed was T'Pol's mind.
"Allow me to show you everything that I am asha-veh."
T'Pol's thoughts were very detailed and as they started with T'Pol's childhood Hoshi felt everything her t'hy'la had T'Pol earliest recollection was sitting on her mother's knee as her father had looked on with a stern visage. T'Pol couldn't have been older than three but it would be one of the few memories of her father that she could recollect.
At the age of ten she had been left alone in the Forge (a Vulcan desert) for ten days with nothing but a knife. They saw those cold nights when T'Pol had cried herself to sleep and her terror at witnessing the creatures that inhabited the Forge. It had been an exercise in an attempt to teach T'Pol to master her emotions, and while it was at least partially successful a part; a surprisingly large part had resisted becoming an unfeeling automaton like her mother.
That part of her had been the cause of more than one argument between mother and daughter. It had caused her mother to mock her lack of control on more than one occasion and their relationship to become more and more distant. It had become so bad that T'Pol had spent most of her teenage years living with her maternal grandparents.
At fourteen she had learned her mother had had consented to have her betrothed to a young Vulcan named Koss, an event that further strained their relationship.
They explored her time in the Vulcan Ministry of Security, the Vulcan High Command's Science Council aboard the starship Seleya and the Ministry of Information.
Then in 2149 at sixty two years old, T'Pol was assigned to Earth, both as an aide to Ambassador Soval. Much like her mentor at the time she believed were an immature and volatile species too provincial to be allowed to be welcomed to the larger spacefaring Galactic community.
It would be an opinion that would soon be changed.
They saw the night T'Pol snuck out the Vulcan Compound and strolled the streets of San Francisco until she had come upon a night club that specialized in jazz music. The controlled chaos of the melodies were unlike anything she had ever heard before and she had ended up spending most of the evening inside the club. The music resonated with her on an emotional level and was the first time anything like that had ever happened; as such it was one of her most cherished memories.
Their next stop was her assignment to Earth's first deep space vessel: NX-01 Enterprise an assignment neither she nor the C.O. of the vessel Jonathan Archer wanted her to have.
They saw how the crew of the original Enterprise treated her with disdain and mistrust, especially Captain Archer who had no idea just how much he would come to trust and depend on her in the coming years.
They relived various missions on Enterprise, some were familiar to Hoshi and others were things she couldn't recall happening.
They saw T'Pol's longing to understand Humans and to experience life as they did, unworried about logic and discipline, that longing had made her turn to Trellium-D a substance used on starships that had the side effect of negating a Vulcan's emotional control. They saw her shame that she was too addicted to her emotional freedom to stop injecting herself with the dangerous substance and the way she had to fight the withdrawal symptoms and urge to return to the freedom the substance offered her.
It was an urge she still felt occasionally even now some twelve years later.
Next they came to her relationship with Commander Tucker, he had been the first person to inspire feelings of lust and love in T'Pol.
Unfortunately for various reasons their relationship had gotten to the point where they had both realized it wouldn't work and had called it off.
That is until baby Elizabeth had showed up.
A xenophobic terrorist organization calling themselves Terra Prime had revealed the existence of a half Human half Vulcan child that had been created with DNA samples stolen from T'Pol and Trip. Terra Prime's leader; was an insane man named John Paxton, he had planned to use the child as a symbol of how the 'purity' of the Human race was being tainted by alien's. They had demanded the disolvement of the Coalition of Planets and the departure of all non-Humans from the Sol system or they would destroy San Francisco with a stolen terraforming laser.
With help from Enterprise Trip and T'Pol had managed to not only capture the Terra Prime terrorists but rescue their daughter as well.
It should have been a joyous occasion, but it was discovered by Phlox that the process used to create the child had been flawed and as a result her immune system began to attack itself; she died a short time later.
But not before her parents had named her Elizabeth, in honor of Trip's sister who had died during the Xindi attack on Earth.
The death of their child had not only further strained Tucker and T'Pol's relationship; it had made T'Pol question if she ever wanted children again, a question that had haunted her ever since.
A few years later Tucker had died saving Captain Archer during a routine mission and T'Pol had sunk into a depression that had caused her to cut ties and return to Vulcan in an effort to give herself some much needed distance and time to herself.
Her self- imposed exile lasted four years before Archer managed to track her down.
A long conversation with her former Commanding Officer had forced her to face some hard truths; chief among them was that she was squandering her potential hiding out in her ancestral home. He had asked what Trip would have to say about her activities and that Starfleet needed talented officers like her desperately. That conversation affected her deeply and had heavily influenced her decision to accept this posting.
Finally they settled into the present day and T'Pol's current post where she was fulfilled personally and professionally in a way she hadn't experienced ever before.
As the trance ended they both came into consciousness, opening their eyes at the same time.
Hoshi broke the silence "That was incredible; I've never experienced anything so beautiful and painful before, it was like I was living your life along with you. I feel like Elizabeth was my daughter too… I couldn't tell where I ended and you began."
"It was a...Intense experience. Many of those memories I don't access very often." T'Pol replied
Hoshi understood her partner in a way she never had, and she knew what T'Pol had meant by them 'knowing each other'. "Sweetheart, I didn't know you had doubts about having children, I wanted them and I guess I assumed that you did to. But I want you to know that I respect that you're undecided and if you want to talk about it, I'm willing to also."
"Thank you Hoshi…perhaps we can discuss it in the future."
Realizing that particular subject had been exhausted for the time being Hoshi changed topics. "So did the mind meld work, are we bonded now?"
T'Pol took a moment to scan her mind for any presence of Hoshi, it took a few moments before she could pin it down but she could feel a faint resonance. "Yes, I can feel your presence and the minimum of your surface thoughts. Close your eyes and focus on finding a different presence in your mind."
It took Hoshi a considerably longer time to locate T'Pol but eventually she got the hang of it. "This is so cool; I can feel you in my mind!" She frowned after a moment. "I'd have thought we'd have a stronger bond though."
"Well the fact that you're Human may be influencing the strength of our bond but it should get stronger over time and it will be at its strongest when we are close together; for now at least, time and distance are relative."
Hoshi stood. "Well I guess we'd better go tell Sveck that you won't be dying anytime soon."
T'Pol joined her. "Perhaps later, right now I would like to convince you to come to bed with me."
Hoshi smiled. "I know what you're thinking, but we need to rest up for tomorrow."
"I know."
Their faces began to come closer.
"But I can't seem to get enough of you."
"I desire you as well."
They were inches apart.
"It's crazy, we've been making love all day, and it's still not enough is it?"
"No…it's not."
A few hours later they lay cuddled together in bed.
Hoshi worried her side of the blanket. "So T'Pol now that we're bonded and all, what does this mean for our relationship; is this like the Vulcan equivalent of being engaged or something?
"No, while some betrothed couples may be bonded, one does not preclude the other. In fact most Vulcan marriages are arranged so I would say in most cases being bonded before being betrothed is unusual."
"Oh…I see."
Did she hear a note of disappointment in Hoshi's voice? "Is something wrong?"
"No…it's just…never mind." And with that Hoshi rolled over and climbed out of the bed and headed into the bathroom leaving a confused T'Pol behind.
She reappeared some fifteen minutes later, hair still damp and climbed back into bed. In the time she had been gone T'Pol had mulled over their earlier exchange and believed she understood what was going on. "Hoshi, do you remember the discussion we had the night after I collapsed?"
The younger woman was silent for a few moments recalling the painful memory. "Yeah, before then I had never seen you cry before."
The sad look on her partner's face hurt the still emotionally vulnerable Vulcan. "On that night I said among other things that I wanted to discuss us co-habiting together."
"Yeah, I remember that." Hoshi said cautiously.
"I believe I did not explain myself thoroughly on that occasion."
"Look, forget about that T'Pol you were half out your mind with hormones and God knows what else then. I don't expect you to-" she stopped when T'Pol took one of her hands.
"You misunderstand me ashal-veh, I do want you to live with me however I wonder if you would be opposed to that being the first step in an engagement?"
Hoshi was having trouble breathing. "Ar-are you asking me to marry you?"
"Not exactly, while marriage would be the eventual goal, I would like you to consider us living together as a precursor to a formal engagement."
Hoshi was ready to marry T'Pol now, but she had always been a bit further ahead of T'Pol in terms of their relationship's progress and she understood her partner needed a bit of time to get adjusted to the idea of marriage. That was probably for the best as they both needed to see how their new bonded state affected their relationship and rushing into anything wasn't prudent.
"I will and I'd love to move in with you." They kissed, almost as if sealing a promise of a life together. Hoshi grinned. "I guess its good we're on a starship; I don't have a lot of stuff to bring over here."
"Indeed. I believe the appropriate saying is: be grateful for small miracles."
Hoshi stared blankly for a moment before she burst out into laughter.
Epilogue
The next day T'Pol stepped into the turbolift and took it up to the bridge, a week ago she was convinced she was going to die, she had accepted it completely had even gone up to the edge but Hoshi had intervened and here she was.
She realized how lucky she was to have chosen such a mate. She loved Hoshi as she had never loved anyone before and maybe it was still the emotional vulnerability she felt from her bonding with Hoshi but it struck her at that moment just how deeply she cared for her mate. A rare smile graced her features. It was then that the doors to the turbolift slid open revealing the bridge crew all observing her from their stations."
Lieutenant Khan nodded at her. "Welcome back Commander."
Ensign Jacobs was actually turned around and smiling broadly. "Good morning Commander T'Pol."
When her eyes met Hoshi's there was no need to say anything her partner's expression said it all.
Lastly she looked at the Captain's. She noted his haggard appearance the dark circles under his eyes and the seemingly forced smile on his face. "It's good to have you back Commander, please take your station."
"Aye sir."
Hoshi turned around. "Captain, I have an incoming audio only hail on secure frequency; it's from the Einstein."
Hunter nodded wearily. "Put it on."
"This is Commodore James to all Starfleet vessels we have a break on the Dragus case. You are to rendezvous with the Einstein at the coordinates we are transmitting. James out."
"Coordinates received Captain." Ensign Jacobs reported.
"Lay in a course for the coordinates maximum warp."
"Course laid in sir."
"Engage."
The ever present hum of Enterprise's engines increased in volume as the ship powered up, a moment later a hole in subspace opened and the starship dissapered in a brilliant flash.
The End
A/N: This story originally had a rather lengthy sub-plot but I took it out cause it didn't fit in… so consequently this is the only story I've written that features (with the exception of the good doctor) only T'Pol and Hoshi (I don't count the epilogue). Interesting tidbit I decide to let T'Pol speak in contractions when her emotions were uninhibited, to make her sound less formal. Since to my knowledge Vulcan's don't usually use contractions A small thing but I thought it was appropriate to show her (shortly lived) mindset. The bit about T'Pol still feeling an urge for Trellium-D even a decade later is based off a dear friend of mine who recovered from a substance abuse problem that nearly took her life. She told me the urge to go back is something she has to grapple with years later and it never goes completely away. Something Enterprise never really dealt with…but maybe they have some kind of future medicine that does away with those cravings…idk. The sex scene… ah I waffled for awhile but I wanted to keep it teen so I dropped it…not to mention I think I'm horrible at writing sex scenes…they come out to clinical sounding lol. On a final note I think we're nearing the halfway point for this series. Way back in '08 when I started this I planned for maybe twenty stories but I think I can accomplish what I want to with maybe twelve or so, we'll see. By the time you read this I might decide to go back to twenty again…anyway see you guys next time.
