A Harry Potter humor fic. Total randomness. Please don't flame me.

STORY

" Hey Hermione," Harry said, entering the Great Hall.

There was barely a person in sight but her, a huge pile of homework before her.

" Morning," she said. toast in one hand.

He raised his eyebrows at her as he sat down beside her.

" Why are you doing Potions right now? It's not due till Friday."

" It's WEDNESDAY, Harry." Hermione said, swallowing her bread.

" Yeah," he said stoutly. " Why on Earth do you do homework two days before it's due?"

" To prevent myself from being one of the likes of you." she muttered.

" That's just mean." Harry said.

" I'm a Granger, Harry." she said.

" And I'm a Potter, Hermione, what's your point?"

" I'm just saying that you argument of me doing my homework too early is insulting and stupid." Hermione said, dropping her pen on the table and stopped doing her work for a mere moment to give herself time to butter her toast.

" There, you're stopping already." Harry said triumphly.

" I'm just buttering my stupid toast, Harry."

" Now now, it's not nice to insult toast, Hermione." Harry said.

At that, several of ethe school elves popped their heads from the kitchen, wondering if what they did was unsatisfactory.

" See what you just did?" Hermione snapped, smiling at the elves, in which they hurriedly returned to the kitchen.

" What did I do?" Harry asked. " It was YOU who called it stupid!"

" You willed me to call it stupid!" Hermioen said, dropping the butter knife, but was temped to plunge it into Harry's heart.

" Hermione. . .are you drunk again?" Harry asked.

" You don't want to talk." Hermione said, choming through her toast. " Harry, sometimes your questions just make me want to. . ." And she made several violent gestures with her hands before continuing with her homework.

Harry let out a whistle.

" Relax, 'mione. It's just a question."

" And you're stupid. Go away."

" What are you mad at me for? What did I do?"

" You were born." Hermione snapped. " Now go away. God, sometimes I wonder why sometimes I stoop down to your level."

" That's impossible, Granger." came a drawling voice. " Or else you'll be crawling by now."

" Malfoy." Harry said.

" Potter." Malfoy muttered, helping himself to one of Hermione's toast.

" I still can't beleive you're dating this jerk." Harry mumbled, glaring at Draco.

" I can't beleive she still hangs around you." Draco grunted back.

They glared at each other.

" Oh stop it, Draco." she said.

" As you wish." he said, kissing her neck, earning a giggle from her.

" Oh, get a room." Harry snapped, covering his eyes with two bagle buns.

Draco smirked at him.

" Relax, Potter." he said. " When you get older, we'll have that little talk."

" You!"

" Will you both shut up?" Hermione snapped. " I'm trying to do homework here!"

Draco raised his eyebrows and peered at her sheet. " It's potions."

Hermione blinked. " Yeah." she said. " So?"

" We have potions on Friday." he said.

" AND?" Hermioen almost printed out on her tongue, daring her to continue.

" Why are you doing homework two days earlier?"

Harry let out a cry of success.

" I knew it!" he said. " See? Even Malfoy agrees with me!"

" What do you mean by EVEN?" Malfoy asked witheringly.

But Harry ignored him.

" What I want to do is finish it now, so would the two of you just back off?" Hermione muttered.

Draco raised his eyebrows.

" Wow, what's with you today?" he asked.

" Yeah," harry said leaning in towards her. " It's almost as if you woke up on the wrong side of the bed today."

Draco was about to make a cheeky comment when Hermione glared at him warningly.

" DON'T start, Draco."

" Wasn't going to." he said, grinning broadly.

" Hermione. . ." Harry said, his grin almost as wide as Draco's.

Hermione rubbed her aching temples as she noticed people starting to swarm into the Great Hall.

" See!" she said. " I'll have to do this tonight, and it's all your fault!" she yelled, pointing accusingly at the two young men before her.

" What did I do?" Draco asked.

" You were born." Hermione snapped.

" Ooh, that was a gimmee." Harry muttered.

" Yeah." Draco said, shrugging. " Fell right into that one."

" She got me with that too."

" Really? When?"

" I WAS WONDERING," Hermione said loudly, stopping the two in mid-conversation, not even bothering to greet Parvati Patil, who had sat down beside, her, and was eyeing Draco slyly. " If the two of you could talk somewhere else? I'm trying to study here."

" You never change, don't you?" Ron said, apporaching the table.

" Morning, Weasley." Draco drawled out.

" Yeah." Ron said, before grinning at Harry.

" Just read the papers, Harry. The Cannons won their third consecutive win."

" Really?" Draco asked, suddenly interested. " So they won the Sulvanian Serpents?"

" That's hardcore." Harry said, smirking.

" A Malfoy team, it will always be." Draco said proudly.

" Brian Beatas caught the snitch in fifteen minutes."

" Darn, I was betting on ten." Seamus said, cursing.

" I bet Sulvania would win by a full blast." Dean said.

" Why, thank you." Draco said, liking Dean especially well all of a sudden.

" Will the lot of you shut up?" Hermione spat out.

They looked at her.

" What's eating HER?" Seamus muttered. " Malfoy, pacify her."

" Beleive me, that's what I do most of the time." Draco said, smirking.

" What do you do?" Ron asked, grinning. " Lull her to sleep?"

" IF THE LOT OF YOU DON'T MIND," Hermione said tensely as the rest started to laugh. " I'm trying to finish my potions homework."

Silence.

" Isn't that due till next Monday."

" This Monday actually."

" Double damn. Why are you doing it two days before?" Seamus asked, smirking.

Hermione was ready to stuff her essay down his throat.

" Alright, smiley." she growled. " When are all of you planning to finish your work?"

They grinned at each other, before Draco turned to return to his House table.

" I finished it four days before, Granger."

" Yesterday." Ron and Harry said.

" A week before." Dean and Seamus said.

Hermione's mouth was wide open, shocked.

" But you said that I was doing it too early!" she spluttered.

" No we didn't," Draco said, his usual grin on his face. " We asked ' Why were you doing it two days before it was due'."

Hermione knew her flaw straight away.

" Have a nice breakfast, Granger." he said, and walked off.

END STORY

How do you like it?

I just wrote it for fun, not really expecting much reviews actually. But for those who read this, PLEASE READ AND REVIEW!

Thank you. Hopefully you don't feel TOO sorry for Hermione here, and Draco isn't TOO OOC.