A/N: I had originally planned on doing this as one chapter, but I have an apparent inability to do one-shot smut (and I'm late for the pub). This was actually a prompt I was sent a while back for a Once Upon a Time fic instead, but it works a lot better with these characters, and I missed writing House. Hope you enjoy! Please comment :)


"Okay, okay, what else?"

House looks around the room at each of his three young employees in turn as he snaps his fingers. The action garners him a scowl from Foreman, a frown from Chase and a worried glance from Cameron, but not a single verbal answer from any of them.

"Well?!"

"House, we don't want to get involved in Cuddy's love life... It's kind of her business... The patient-"

"-Will live until tomorrow. Meanwhile, cats everywhere will die tonight if my curiosity isn't sated!"

The graying doctor growls down at the young brunette who shrugs and turns back to her paperwork. Rolling his eyes, House turns to the other two and raises an eyebrow.

"And what about you two? Are you going to go running to tell mommy as well?"

"I never said I was going to-"

"-Uhp! Quiet, Cameron, the adults are talking!"

Chase smirks as Foreman lets out a tired sigh and shakes his head.

"Why do you care, House?"

"Because, if the dragon is getting laid, that means I get to do things like this-"

The blond flinches with a cry of indignation as House smacks him smartly across the back of his head

"-And get away with it. It means her reign of terror is directed towards the bedroom rather than the workplace, and all us village people can breathe a sigh of relief."

"Kind of sounds like someone else needs to get some action too..."

The younger men both twist back in their seats in surprise to ogle at the brunette, but Cameron doesn't look up from the neat notes she makes beside House's messy scrawl, although her cheeks pinken ever so slightly.

"Don't make me send you to my office, Dr Cameron..."

House leers with a sordid wink towards the two boys to hide his own surprise at the young immunologist's bold statement. Cool green glances up at him slowly; the young brunette looking thoroughly unimpressed.

House notes that from his current angle he can see down her shirt.

Too bad there's nothing to look at.

His inner dialogue causes him to cringe; irritably aware of the lightning fast response of his defenses when it comes to his youngest employee, and thus beginning to wonder if maybe there isn't something Freudian to it after all.

Gathering himself, he glares at her accusingly, as though it is her intention to frustrate him the way she does, and turns to the others.

"Well, we can't sit around gossiping all day. Chase, go get some fluids, Foreman, you're on the patient's history; believe nothing."

He catches the brunette open her mouth out of the corner of his eye and barks at her swiftly.

"Cameron, you carry on with my filing."

She looks up at him incredulously as Chase and Foreman hurry from the room with twin glances of sympathy in their colleague's direction.

Raising an eyebrow and waiting for her to bitch about whatever point she's going to try and make- when they both know she'll do what he says eventually- he limps a little closer to the desk.

"Hardly a good use of my time."

"Oh, I'd argue it's a brilliant gift to my time... After all, I'm a doctor; don't want to be kept from my work by menial secretarial tasks..."

"...Well, then, Dr House... I suppose it's a good thing that I finished your filing about a week ago. Everything's sorted. Problem solved."

House finds it easy to hide his surprise that the chaos of his paperwork has been neatly corralled under the quiet diligence of the brunette; it is her nature, after all. He has a harder time however, trying to deal with the various reactions the smug little smile that currently graces her lips tries to pull from him.

Fuck, but she has a pretty smile.

Unable to give her this one, to simply reward her with a metaphorical- never physical, he can't touch her, no, mustn't touch her- pat on the back for a job well done, he smiles at her dryly with crystal blue eyes.

He feels like an ass even before the heavy folder of paper- patient files Ne to Su- crashes down onto the threadbare carpet in a flurry of illegible notes and neat black cursive.

Knows he's an ass.

She stares down dully at the mess that covers really quite an impressive area about the desk, and when she looks back up at him he wonders for a brief moment if she's going to cry, but her glittering gaze remains stony and her words are low and controlled.

"You're an ass."

Oh. He knows.

Brushing her anger away with practiced ease, he shrugs and pulls a lollipop from his pocket; twirling it childishly on his tongue before heading off towards his office with a shrug.

"As I said, Cameron, you're on filing duty. Place is a mess."