Note: The very first time I had heard the song Sign by Flow, even I can't understand Japanese, I had felt something tugging at my heart. I could not understand the lyrics of the song. However, the music video that was used was enough for me to understand what the song was about, at least a little. And then, I downloaded the song and listened to it every now and then. Later on, when the song was starting bugging me, I searched for its English translation, and I ended up crying just by listening on it.
The song was short, yet it held all the emotions and with it were the memories of two people in the song.
So, I was inspired to write this and it took me a year at most to extract everything that I had understood in the song.
I hope you'll like this first part, and please leave me a review!
Itachi
I realized the screaming pain, hearing loud in my brain, but I'm going straight ahead with the scar.
I did it. I did kill my clansmen as was ordered by the council to avoid civil war, the coup, and to protect the entire village of Konoha. However, I spared my younger brother. My brother knew nothing of what had lurked in the shadows, and so were the other children in my clan, but I killed them all save for him. It was unfair, I know. But I did it for the good. If I had not spared the children's lives, I'm afraid their grief would call upon the power of Sharingan, which is bad for everyone. I had the feeling then that they would be use as a weapon and not as a ninja that suppose to kill to protect their precious ones. So, by killing the last generation of my clan, I did them the favour of saving them from despair of losing someone they loved.
But, why did I spare my younger brother's? Because, I wanted to believe that he would not fell astray. I spared him his life, because I wanted him to take mine when the time was ripe, so I can rest and be with my parents.
It was the only selfish part of my dream.
Contrary to what my brother had believed, father loved him so much. For father, Sasuke was his light and warmth in his dark and cold days. Father had always told mother how Sasuke was a good son, a kind fellow, a loving person, and all. And Sasuke's innocence and purity made father afraid of what would Sasuke be should he found out of the coup the elders had been cooking and father's involvement. So, to protect my younger brother from the pain of knowing his father planning to get himself killed in the future, father did the only thing he knew. I was the eldest and the clan's pride, so father focused on me and counted me in, in their circle and distancing himself from Sasuke.
Father did not want Sasuke to unlock his Sharingan because of the reason that it will only blind the wielder and, if things became worst, the blinded wielder had to implant another wielder's Sharingan eyes into him. And father did not want either of us to undergo the same fate as Madara and Izuna.
However, in spite of all the things that had happened so far, father did something oppose to what he usually did one day. It was not as much as mine, but father smiled and praised Sasuke, who showed father his own fireball technique at the dock. And, in return, Sasuke gave father his most charming grin.
It was the only time Sasuke remembered father had looked at him with pride.
It had been a few weeks before I killed my clan that father knew of the mission bestowed upon me by the council and I had this tingling feeling that father did not want to implement the coup, so he was doing his all to install the clan members in a subtle way to give me and the Third time to solve the problem. And, maybe father realized he had nothing else to do, so during his last days, when he saw Sasuke was training, he asked my brother to come with him and show him what he got at the dock.
Father was aware of what he was doing to Sasuke, and before his death he had wished to see Sasuke smile. So, probably that was why father had praised Sasuke with an encouraging smile after he was showed of the fireball technique, the sign of coming of age.
Father wanted to see Sasuke smile before he dies.
And now... I killed my parents.
Father's last words to me were 'please take care of your brother', and I promised him I will. However, the guilt of killing my clansmen and especially my parents was eating my soul away.
That was then I decided to wait for my younger brother's arrival in the house, show him how I killed everyone in Uchiha District while hoping for him to activate his Sharingan, and to make him hate me enough to kill me.
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
Can you hear me?
So am I.
And, seeing my younger brother cried as he lay on his stomach and begged me that everything was not true, was painfully shattering and shredding my heart into small pieces. I cannot handle seeing him so crestfallen, so I fled like the coward I was.
I just wanted to be with mother and father...
After I failed to make my brother to activate his Sharingan, I was hoping that Sasuke would find someone that could give him light, which he did, but their bond was not strong enough, or that he refused to acknowledge, at the moment to make him stay. Instead, my brother fell into Orochimaru's grasp.
And, that was when I realized how deep his pain and hatred towards me that he was able to push his light away and succumb to the darkness.
I don't mind if you don't remember all the feelings that we used to share
For I've sealed away my heart into the darkness.
It's just fine if you end up hurting me, 'cause I don't feel pain anymore.
I just drag my feet behind me towards what's held in store.
The tranquil days that I used to spend my time with my brother was the thing that had me kept going. The memories were vivid as though it had only been yesterday, and sometimes it seemed like a dream that I had woken up from. Comparing my current life with before, it appeared as if those memories with Sasuke were far away ones, which would not surprise me if my brother had forgotten all of it.
I really did not mind, because I chose to be in the shadows, believing that as a ninja, protecting the village from the dark was the right thing to do…
Or so my friend, Shisui, had taught me.
And since I had came so far, stepping my foot in the grave I, myself, had made especially for me to repent my sins and regrets, I made up my mind to work on what I had at the moment and had done my all and everything to protect my people…
Even though they thought of me as a dangerous criminal and a traitor.
Sasuke
I have been led astray with no hope to be found
My heart withered away and I fell to the ground
Then I heard a voice within the blowing of the wind…
It was dark.
Though I can see things still, for me it was nothing as vibrant as when I was with my team that I had deserted over for Orochimaru to obtain the strength and power to end my brother's life, Uchiha Itachi. Ever since the faithful that my clan had perished, I had swore in my father and mother's grave that I will avenge them no matter what; even selling my soul to the demon. I did study hard at academy and did everything to at least be on par with Itachi in terms of academics. I did train twice or thrice than I had used to at least reach his ability at a younger age. I did everything…
Yet, everything was not enough.
It was during the chuunin exam that I found out I am weak. Naruto can even catch up with the snake enemy, but I, the top of my batch, could not do something to help, but cower in fear.
I admit that in team seven that consisted of Naruto, Saskura, and our mentor, Kakashi, apart from me, I can see the shadow of my family. I can smile whenever Naruto was near, or when I saw him doing stupid pranks to connect with people. However, as time went on, I eventually saw Itachi's shadow in him and it reminded me of what my real purpose of being a ninja was.
I need to kill Itachi.
I had lived to my brother.
So I went to the snake sannin to train and use him for my benefit, abandoning my comrades and village.
Itachi had once told me in order to achieve eyes like his, I have to kill the most precious person with my own hands, which I did try countless of times. But then, Naruto, whom I realized was my most precious one during our first C-rank mission as a team, was so stubborn to fall and die. No one might have noticed this, but I was one to blame why Naruto had remained standing after our each fight. Despite everything that I had said and had acted towards everyone, deep in my soul; the very core of my heart, I could not bring myself to see Naruto's life seep away while in my arms.
Naruto was the reason why I pushed forward…
He was my light and warmth during my darkest and coldest time…
He was the only good in me that killing him would also kill what sanity remained inside of me.
Even though we are apart, Naruto's voice had kept trying pulling me back home.
Please let me show you the pain
My scars have made me obtain
Before the weight of the world comes crashing down on my shoulders…
The day had finally come when I had fulfilled my goal in life.
I had finally taken Itachi's life…
During our fight, flashes of my past; both good and bad, appeared before me with Itachi in every single memory, which made the pain I was feeling in my chest constrict even more as it went on. Because, in those early stages of my life, apart from mother, Itachi was the one who only had taken time to look at me with love in his dark eyes that I could not even delve into. The love he was showing was not suffocating despite the deepness of it, but was filial that it made me feel secure near him.
Itachi had always smiled at me, had always encouraged me, had always picked me up whenever I fall, and had always loved me without expecting anything from.
And, I had always been looking up at him with so much adoration. I wanted to become just like him.
But, he took it all away in just one night.
Even with his unconditional love that he had shown to me could not mount how much pain I had been through that my past seemed so far away from my grasp. And, with the battle raging on, I showed him how much I hated him with every fist that collided with his flesh and along with it was the pain that I had subconsciously been sending towards him.
Itachi
Do you remember the time our tears fell from the sky?
Someday soon when I'm gone never think that I'll neglect you…
For the pain that I've sealed away your heart will protect you.
As my younger brother and I fought, I can sense Orochimaru's scent on him, so what I did was getting Sasuke tired for him to be force the cursed mark the snake had given him before. It took some time, but not so long, that Sasuke had finally unleashed his borrowed power and I had summoned my Susanno, and with its Sword of Totsuka I had managed to seal Orochimaru in the gourd, freeing my brother.
I had also felt Sasuke's hatred. However, his pain was more tangible.
And, the longer the fight was, the more pain was flowing out of him and in me.
I wanted to comfort him, but I could not.
I wanted to say sorry, but no matter how sincere I could have been at the moment was not enough to alleviate the pain off him.
I wanted to tell him the truth, but was afraid of him learning it and would only bring more pain.
I wanted to poke his forehead and say 'I'm sorry, but can we fight next time, little brother?', and then run off like I used to do and chuckle at his pout, but I could not reach him anymore.
I wanted to see his smiles that were full of adoration and love for me, but I had wiped it off his face. I am no longer worth for it.
I wanted to die now, but I could not leave my brother with so much pain yet.
I wanted to leave longer.
At least long enough to tell him 'I love you. Always remember that.'
But, alas! My time had come. However, maybe poking his forehead might tell him enough how much I love him and how sorry I was for bringing him pain, which I did with only sheer determination since I was practically dead in chakra and strength.
Sasuke could have run as I had neared him ever slowly, reaching my index and middle fingers out like I was going to pull out his eyes. He could have run away from me. It was clear in his eyes that he was frightened at what I was about to do, expecting me to take his eyes.
He could have run away from me…
But, he did not, and I was thankful, because I was able to reach him one last time and poked his forehead with me smiling like the old days.
…I could have said 'I'm sorry, little brother' and cry…
…but, my body did not allow me to…
It was painful.
Very painful.
And, I had hoped that somehow my message that I was trying to convey to him had gotten into him as I crumbled on the ground and exhaled my last breath before closing my eyes.
'I have always love you…my little brother…'
